[attr="class","complanet-img-1"]

[attr="class","complanet-top"]

Blessed with suck, but I won't stop!

[attr="class","complanet-post"]



Beep…. Beep…. Beep!
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The siren sound of the alarm echoed into the spacious room belonging to Johanna Joy. A large groan and a muffled “Five more minutes.” came from underneath layers upon layers of duvets, blankets and whatever else filled the bed. Alas Johanna was not afforded those precious five minutes as her protective cover was dragged off by an annoyed little pink Happiny. The bright light exposed the vulnerable state she was in snuggled up against her Mimikyu and Shiinotic. The light blinded her eyes causing her to look around in confusion, alas it did not last for long as her eyes befell upon the clock. Her eyes grew huge as an “Oh SHii….” Escaped waking the two still sleeping Pokémon.
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Johanna jumped out of her bed. As she continued upon her tirade of ‘shits’ while she hurriedly grabbed the clothes which had been laid out for her the evening prior. She quickly put it on, only realizing when she stood in front of the large full-body mirror that her Happiny had picked her least favorite dress, the white one. Never the less she did not have time to reconsider her choice of attire. She was about to be late for Lunch, a lunch that she had promised her mother she would attend, not because of any significance to the occasion, but because it had been a while since the two of them had spent meaningful time together.
[break][break]
Once dressed, she quickly ran a comb through her long hair clearing it of any knots which might’ve appeared during the night, luckily that rarely happened as she had been blessed with very smooth not-pink hair. For a quick second the thought of coloring it emerged, but she pushed it away. Today was not the day were she would focus on that. She allowed her Happiny to do the usual two-tailed braid, and before she realized it she found herself with small white bows in her hair. She sent a quick glare towards the small Pink Pokémon, only to be replied with a mischievous grin. It knew all too well she didn’t have the time to remove those.
[break][break]
Once she was appropriately presentable, she would hurry out of her fairly messy room. Her Pokémon following right behind her as they always did, especially the Happiny. She ran as quickly as she could through the house, dodging each obstacle with the finesse of a Lilligant but the Elegance of a drunk Rhyperior. But she made it in time, with thirty seconds to spare even. And just in time to watch her mother arrive. She hoped the woman hadn’t noticed how close she was cutting it. Johanna knew tardiness wasn’t appreciated.
[break][break]
Anyhow as they sat there enjoying the lunch and the tea, a tea which she wasn’t particularly fond of but she tried to not let that show. As she sat there she began to feel how being awake for most of the night texting with one of her online friends had tired. Without realizing it she was slouching ever forwards as she nibbled to her food and drank small sips of the tea. It was only when her mother commented on it that she realized it. She immediately corrected her posture, and then sent a quick expectant poppy glance to see if it was acknowledged.
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Her mother then asked her about her hobby. She looked surprised, then a bit afraid, as if she had been caught with her hands in her mother’s favorite cookie jar. “… H..h” She was about to stutter, but realized she still had food in her mouth, she quickly took a sip of tea swallowed the content of her mouth before continuing. “Hobby?” She wasn’t sure what her mother was referring to, surely she didn't know about her new Rocket-friends. It was then a metaphorical light bulb appeared. “Oh, oh… My training. It’s going really well, I think I am getting the hang of battling with Shiinotic. But, I still need to do more training with Mimikyu.” She began to ramble, a small nervous hint to her tone. But it was better than letting her mother confirm her fears.
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She glanced backwards to confirm that her Pokémon was there, they reacted knowing she spoke about them without using their nicknames to not confuse her mother. The Shiinotic gave a small reassuring wave, though both Mimikyu and Shiinotic kept themselves at an appropriate distance, only the Happiny had the audacity to stay close by mimicking the Blissey near Johanna’s mother.
[break][break]
OOC: Okay this became very exposition'y and long, I apologize!

[attr="class","complanet-bot"]

@pharaohleap
edith joy

[attr="class","complanet-img-1"]

[attr="class","complanet-top"]

Blessed with suck, but I won't stop!

[attr="class","complanet-post"]

Johanna looked in her mother’s direction as the woman replied. Johanna couldn’t glean from the answer nor her mother’s expression whether she had actually bought the cover or not. All she could do was hope.

[break][break]

They didn’t stay on the topic of the ‘hobby’ as a more important topic seemed to occupy her mother. Johanna did what she could to focus upon it. But the fatigue of a messed up circadian rhythm fought tooth and nail against her. She did her best as she always did, even when she could feel her back wanting to slouch, her eyes wanting to close, and her thoughts being a bit all over the place.

[break][break]

Johanna listened as her mother spoke. It certainly didn’t go unnoticed when the woman, who was usually so certain in her words, seemed to hesitate. Johanna had never seen her or at least never noticed her hesitating like that before. A brief hint of confusion showed on her face as she looked at her mother trying to discern what the woman was about to say. But when the words left her mouth nothing could have prepared her.

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Her jaw almost fell to the floor. Then a small nervous laughter escaped her lips as she tried to straighten her thoughts into coherent sentences. She looked around trying to spy if there was some hidden camera, but she saw none. “A sibling I haven’t been made aware of?” If her voice hadn’t already betrayed her puzzlement, then her face certainly did. The denying shake of her head caused a blue lock of hair to fall in front of her eye. She quickly brushed it behind her ear. “Alright Mom, I get it. You don’t have to tease me like that. I know I look tired and yes I have been up all night. But… But I don’t buy that. Why tell me that now?” She started nervously rambling again. Small cracks in the image that was her almost perfect mother seemed appear. Her mother had after all only made one mistake in her life, and that mistake was her…

[attr="class","complanet-bot"]

@pharaohleap
edith joy

[attr="class","complanet-img-1"]

[attr="class","complanet-top"]

Blessed with suck, but I won't stop!

[attr="class","complanet-post"]
The thoughts blasted around in her head, confusion, bewilderment, sadness, even a hint of betrayal as her mother sternly replied to the question. ‘It wasn’t necessary’ the words echoed in her mind. Why wasn’t it? Did she not have a RIGHT to know something like that. A small angry voice in her heard yelled for her to take action, but she didn’t, she couldn’t. Her body was weirdly numb right now and the angry voice was quickly quieted by a more insidious one whispering to her. ‘its obvious why she wouldn’t tell me. She needed the spare child in case I failed too much’ the whirlpool of thoughts and emotions threatened to drag her down into a sulk. But her mother continued her speech.
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With a faint glimmer of hope that Edith’s explanation might provide some measure of comfort did Johanna listen. She tried to keep her emotions from showing on her face, maybe she seemed a bit stoic in the attempt, alas for all the good it did she really did wear her emotions on her sleeve to the point where even the Happiny by her side began to wiggle a bit uncomfortably clearly unsure of what to do.
[break][break]
She was given a momentary respite from the onslaught of new information. Though that did nothing for her but give her ample time to overthink. Realizing that she was doing nothing but inner-monologuing herself, and probably disappointing her mother in the process. She closed her eyes took a deep breathe, and straightened her back once more making sure she sat firmly and properly in the chair. She further had to take three deep breathes before she found some measure of peace in her mind and the strength to face her mother’s gaze again for a brief moment.
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“Thank you for telling me about this.” She paused, hesitated for a moment wondering if it would be a good idea to pry further. She decided to do so, she figured now was as good a time as any. “Is there anything I should know about him? Does HE even know about this?” She tried to keep eye contact with her mother, but clearly she found it hard to do so as her eyes constantly wanted to dart away.

[attr="class","complanet-bot"]

@pharaohleap
edith joy

[attr="class","complanet-img-1"]

[attr="class","complanet-top"]

Blessed with suck, but I won't stop!

[attr="class","complanet-post"]

Johanna listened quietly, taking in all the information she was given by her mother. She couldn’t help but feel bad for the boy, though she was unsure if that was because of the environment that he had grown up in as a street ruffian or because she knew what he was about to experience. For the latter, she had experienced as well.
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Johanna sent small nods of acceptance when her mother informed her of her expectations towards her. “Understood.” There wasn’t a whole lot she could say. She knew these weren’t suggestions, and she would do all she could to abide by them.
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Though it didn’t take long from Edith had made her demands of distance, civility, and politeness known, that she would go on to remind Johanna of her future and what it could entail. She gulped nervously. It wasn’t the first time she had heard THAT speech before, but the pressure never became easier to carry. After all, she wanted to live up to her mother’s ideals. “I… I know mother.” She stuttered and that’s when her eyes could no longer look into her mother’s as she spoke. “I will keep my future in mind.” She couldn’t return her gaze as she said those words. Heavy guilt clung to her heart as she knew making connections with Team Rocket went straight up against her mother’s wishes. She just hoped that looking at her Happiny would provide enough of an excuse to not make the lie obvious.
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Meanwhile, the Happiny noticed the change in Blissey’s expression. She calmed herself, knowing like her trainer, the sort of expectations that were placed upon her. Though, unlike her trainer, the Happiny met the gaze of the Blissey with courage and gave a brave knowing nod of understanding. She would live up to those expectations or die trying.

[attr="class","complanet-bot"]

@pharaohleap
edith joy

[attr="class","complanet-img-1"]

[attr="class","complanet-top"]

Blessed with suck, but I won't stop!

[attr="class","complanet-post"]

Her mother was appeased, that was all that mattered for now. The difficulty of keeping her as such would be determined later. For now, a small sigh of relief was about to escape Johanna’s lips when her mother decided to move the topic elsewhere.
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Johanna stiffened a bit as her mother seemed thoughtful and even seemed to prospect her for some unknown purpose. For a second she felt not like a human being, but an object to be appraised by someone intending to buy or sell her. But that thought was, like so many others, pushed away as she reminded herself that this was her mother.
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Alas, the chosen topic was one equally as uncomfortable if not even more uncomfortable as the last one. She squirmed a bit in her seat, then sunk a bit deeper as Edith kept speaking. It still felt weird to her that her mother was so open and acknowledging of a fact she was still coming to terms with, even if it had been quite a while since she informed her mother of her feelings on the matter of love and preferences.
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She was at a loss for words. All she could muster for a second was. “I know.” At the mentioning of where Edith had been at Johanna’s age. “And I know you are trying to find someone for me, and I appreciate that…. But… But.” She took a deep breath while allowing her right hand to run up against her forehead and through her blue hair before letting both right-arm and lock of hair fall back down. “What is the point of being with someone if I don’t love them.” She couldn’t meet her mothers’ gaze too afraid to see the disappointment that was sure to be in the woman’s eyes.
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Then Johanna steeled her resolve in preparation to face her mother as she, after taking yet another deep breath, said. “I know this might sound selfish, and I know there are more important things than just my personal feelings on the matter. But… I don’t want to spend my life with someone I don’t love.” A small pause. At this point, she couldn't help but wonder if her mother had been in this exact situation as well. Was maybe how or why she came to be? “But if you fear that I won’t give you a grandchild, I will. I promise…. That’s… That’s the least I can do.” The last part was mumbled, though she had begun with a hopeful tone in her voice it petered out as she realized how messed up that suggested was. Nevertheless, the suggestion had been made, and words once said couldn’t be taken back, she would live with the consequences of it.
[break][break]
Oh, how she wished that she had stayed in bed right now.

[attr="class","complanet-bot"]

@pharaohleap
edith joy

[attr="class","complanet-img-1"]

[attr="class","complanet-top"]

Blessed with suck, but I won't stop!

[attr="class","complanet-post"]

She knew she sounded selfish, she almost certainly was being selfish. Still, she had made her feelings on the matter known to her mother. She still wasn’t even sure if she wanted to be married at all. But she knew that option simply didn’t exist for someone like her.
[break][break]
She listened as her mother’s words were spoken, informing her of the very ponderings she had done before her failed attempt at diplomacy, alas little did it reveal other than her mother’s benevolence in letting Johanne pick between the candidates. She gave a small thoughtful nod. It was true, maybe she could learn to love whomever her mother picked if she was forced to do so. Maybe her issue laid not in the marriage or the partners but the pressure of expectations placed upon her. She would have to mull it over later. Either way she figured she had said enough, instead replied with appropriate silence.
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Her mother then decided that a change of scenery was in order. Johanna looked bewildered for a moment but became acutely aware that she had forgotten both the tea and what little food was left on the table, but as her eyes fell upon it she didn’t feel thirsty nor hungry.
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She got up at her mother’s command. She allowed a quick hand to run down the dress she wore to remove any wrinkles and whatnot that might’ve gotten onto it as they had been conversing. She still had to look presentable even if her mood wasn’t exactly the best.
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Johanna followed in her mother’s steps. Like a trained Growlithe she stayed a step or two behind allowing her mother to lead the way. Similarly, her Happiny followed along behind her making sure the two other Pokémon followed as well, but further away to not inconvenience Johanna or her mother. And as they walked Johanna’s eyes darted around. Trying to figure out where her mother would take them, but another thought, no, a question popped into her mind. Did she actually want all this?

[attr="class","complanet-bot"]

@pharaohleap
edith joy

[attr="class","complanet-img-1"]

[attr="class","complanet-top"]

Blessed with suck, but I won't stop!

[attr="class","complanet-post"]

Their first stop was the entryway. Right at a spot where she had been many times throughout her life. A picture hung framed in between the two straight-edged stairways. Johanna couldn’t remember how many times she had looked upon this picture and the picture before it. Though she knew it was all just in her mind it always felt like both pictures had judged her in some way. Her grandmother’s judgment had been a cold one, one biased towards disappointment and failure. However, her mother’s had been different. Johanna knew her mother didn’t want her to fail, yet that just made it all the worse when she did.

[break][break]

With almost puppy-like eyes did she look towards her mother as she spoke. She couldn’t imagine herself, or rather her portrait, hanging there. That spot was her mother’s no matter how much she tried she wouldn’t be able to replace her like that. Yet, with a small but heavy breath, she nodded. She knew it was a childish notion, her mother would die as everyone does at some point, and she would just have to be ready by then, her feelings be damned.

[break][break]

But the picture wasn’t the only thing Johanna had to be shown. Edith led on towards another room, this one on the first floor of the house. Tucked away from nosey servants or Johanna by lock and key. She had barely seen the insides all but once in her life. But today seemed to be the day where she would get to properly take it in. And as they entered she did just that. Eyes darting around looking at all the historic items that were tactfully placed around the room. But the items didn’t keep her attention for long as her eyes befell the wall decorated with numerous portraits.

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Her eyes immediately fell upon one of the only recognizable faces there. Her grandmother. But she moved on as her mother pointed at the various paintings, each time pointing precisely upon them and uttering their name. With each one she noted the particular features they all had in common, the hair, the skin, though hard to tell from the paintings Johanna figured they most certainly would share her mother’s towering height as well. An empty pit formed in her stomach, with each painting she felt more and more estranged. She wasn’t a Joy, she had neither the hair nor the height.

[break][break]

But then her mother reached a painting she hadn’t noticed before, either by willful ignorance or by biased. While the person shared the same hair, one particular difference was the person’s gender. If Edith spared a glance at Johanna she’d see a woman perplexed. The revelation had just torn a huge crack in all she thought about her family. While she heard the words she didn’t truly register them at first. But then her mother made her turn her attention to another picture, this one didn’t belong here. The pink hair which was one of, if not the biggest, pride and joy of the Joy family was nowhere to be seen. Instead, it had been replaced with a shade of deep green.

[break][break]

Johanna didn’t notice it at first, but her hand instinctually moved to whisk away the bang of blue hair which kept creeping in front of her vision, she tried to move it behind her ear, gently caressing her hair in the process. She listened to her mother’s last words about tradition. She even used her nickname, which happened very rarely.

[break][break]

Johanna looked away from the painting and onto her mother. Her eyes beamed with uncertainty and her arms hugged around her stomach in search of some measure of comfort. “I… I don’t know what I want.” She admitted, a pang of defeat in her voice. “All I know is that I want to live up to the expectations that you and grandmother had for me.” While the pit in her stomach had subsided for a brief moment at the revelation of the male Joy and the Deep green-haired Joy. It now reared its ugly head again. She almost wanted to cry, though she knew it wouldn’t befit her to do so right now. “But, even taking into account that I don’t fit the mold perfectly. I am not sure I can ever live up to those expectations.” Was this the first time she admitted that? She didn’t know. While saying the words weighed heavily upon her. The pit in her stomach grew slightly smaller.

[attr="class","complanet-bot"]

@pharaohleap
edith joy