The Liberator
he/him/his
24
April 10
Lavaridge Town
Figuring it Out
Penitent
Renegade
Turned on my friends and brought them pain. I have no right to show I can change. But I gotta try!
TAG WITH @isaacmerlo
Isaac Merlo
Codenames [S]
POSTED ON Jan 1, 2023 23:38:02 GMT
[nospaces] [attr="class","skullhover"] [attr="class","skullimg"] [attr="class","skulltitle"]導通抵抗 [attr="class","skulloverlap"]BUT HOLD YOUR BREATH, GUESS WHO'S RUNNING THE SHOW? [attr="class","skullbody"]Imposter syndrome was a funny thing. If one planted its seed in the slightest bit of soil, the ravenous vine that sprouted would choke the life out of any and all belief it came across. No matter how genuine, how warranted, how desperately needed, kindness stood no chance in its shadow. It would simply have the life strangled from it for daring to make its presence known.[break][break] But what soil was there with Annalise? Imposter syndrome needed an excuse, a justification, the soil in which it could take root. Loved ones were easy. They cared too much about Isaac to be honest. They'd say it just to spare his feelings. His co-workers, in Rocket, in the Howling, and in the odd jobs he once tackled, would just be kind to make an easier working environment. If he'd helped someone along the way, they'd be too blinded by gratitude to see the truth. And if not, they were just some nonspecified flavor of misguided.[break][break] Annalise was none of those. Annalise was, by all accounts, his enemy. She had no reason to spare him the truth. She had nothing to gain from the situation. She had no naive affection for him. By all accounts, her best move here would be to shrug, go "okay", and slap some cuffs on him to cart him to the authorities. But she refused to, because she thought she saw goodness even at his worst.[break][break] For once, an excuse failed to come to mind.[break][break] "I'm not gonna pretend I'm some boy scout. But . . . hurting others just to get ahead's never sat right with me," Isaac admitted. "Isn't when some sick fuck on the street does it to feel less pathetic. Isn't when the systems the League sets up push good men down for not measuring up. And . . . hell, Anna, I can't even lie to you. A lot where I'm at doesn't sit well with me, either." It felt sacrilegious to admit it. That only made Isaac need to admit it harder.[break][break] "I keep telling myself, at least I try to color outside the lines. Try and do something right for everything wrong with this fucked-up mess. I'm never gonna balance out the cosmic scales. But damnit, who the hell would I be if I didn't at least try? At least it's something." He laid back against his Mantine, shifting to look at the stars. "Heh. When I get like that, you actually sound like you have a point about me."[break][break] Maybe he was already doing what little good he could under the pressures he suffered. Was it enough? Probably not. Was it a nonzero amount of good going into the world? Undeniably. But where did it compare to the damage a real fucked-up monster could cause in Isaac's shoes? Where did it compare to the good Isaac could cause if no longer bound to Rocket's shackles? That was where the question got oh so complicated.[break][break] "I'll never stop trying to set things right. We both know giving up's never been in my nature." The admission brought a wry smile onto Isaac's face. "They're not going to make a monster out of me. I can at least promise you that much." He'd rather die than let them, not that he'd admit such to Anna.[break][break] And he had a lot of thinking to do. Not that he'd ever admit that, either. [break][break] [break] [attr="class","skullcredits"] TAIKO![newclass=.skullhover]width:420px;-webkit-filter: grayscale(100%);filter: grayscale(100%);-webkit-transition:all 1s ease;transition:all 1s ease;-webkit-transition-delay:0.1s;[/newclass] [newclass=.skullhover:hover]-webkit-filter: grayscale(0%);filter: grayscale(0%)-webkit-transition:all 1s ease;transition:all 1s ease;[/newclass] [newclass=.skullimg]width:380px;height:200px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/HOVZp0J.png); background-repeat:no-repeat;[/newclass] [newclass=.skulltitle]font-family:verdana;font-weight:700;font-size:50px;position:relative;text-align:center;color:#D9B800;margin-top:-36px;margin-bottom:0px;text-shadow: -1px 0 black, 0 1px black, 1px 0 black, 0 -1px black;[/newclass] [newclass=.skulloverlap]letter-spacing:1px;font-family:oswald;font-weight:200;font-size:12px;position:relative;text-align:center;margin-top:-0;margin-bottom:-5px;color:#e8e8e8;text-shadow: -1px 0 black, 0 1px black, 1px 0 black, 0 -1px black;[/newclass] [newclass=.skullbody]div-align:center;text-align:justify;width:380px;line-height:15px;letter-spacing:.5px;font-size:12px;font-family:roboto;color:#d6d6d6;[/newclass] [newclass=.skullinfo]width:380px;font-family:oswald;font-size:12px;font-weight:200;color:#767676;text-align:right[/newclass] [newclass=.skullcredits]width:380px;font-family:roboto;font-size:12px;text-align:center;[/newclass] [googlefont=Oswald] [googlefont=Roboto]
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