So many reasons.
[break][break]
Since the day CIAN MAHER revealed himself to be a rocket and Penelope ascended to the region's council, cracks riddled their relationship, creating ravines where land once prospered. She'd been the one to ultimately pull the trigger - there was no debate about that - but she'd be lying to say, even before MATIAS SILPH, doubt didn't cross her mind.
[break][break]
Still, that was no conversation she wanted to share with Ollie.
[break][break]
"I rather not talk about it."
[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] ollie morales[break]


[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-ditto"]

he pauses.

[break][break] he thinks about the way that she had sobbed in the center of the street, nearly vomiting in her tears, and how desperate she had clung to him. ollie had known her for years, and never known her to hurt this much.

[break][break] 'did she hurt over me too?' the selfish thought rises, and he bites back the urge.

[break][break] instead he accepts her answer, placing a hand over hers. "okay."

[break][break] he returns back to his food, taking a sip of his beer, before placing it on the ground.

[break][break] "what would you like to talk about?"

[break][break] he smiles, easygoing and warm.

[break][break] "we can talk about anything."

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] PENELOPE LIVY [break]

There were some questions better left unanswered. Were Ollie to crack open the answer he sought over, it'd be not without risk.
[break][break]

Instead, he relented, allowing Penelope the reprieve of another cian-free topic. Thank god. Even now, with Chinese food heating the curves of her cheeks, and its stench biting her nostrils, tears still pricked the corner of her eyes, and sobs threatened to spill out. But she kept it all tucked away. or, at least, she tried to.
[break][break]

No there was no helping the occasional slip.
[break][break]

"I dunno," she murmured, eyes flicking up to the tv. The piplups were now sliding down a slope and diving into the freezing water below. "How's work..."

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] ollie morales[break]


[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-ditto"]

he hears the sobs nearly spill from her lips, the teary-eyed look that she tries to hide into her chinese food, and he bites his lip.

[break][break] months of her hating him and cursing him - that was what he was used to.

[break][break] but her crying?

[break][break] his heart breaks just a little more.

[break][break] "work is fine," he says, lips curved into a smile. "the expeditions are fun. i've only been to the one undersea. what about you?"

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] PENELOPE LIVY [break]

The expeditions.
[break][break]

Another sore topic.
[break][break]

Biting her lip, Penelope shook her head, vigorous in her attempt to sway the thoughts from invading her thoughts.
[break][break]

"I-I rather not talk about that, too."
[break][break]

She forced a pile of noodles down her throat.
[break][break]

"Tell me more about you," the question barely managed to come out between the coughs of too much food, "how are you doing?"

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] ollie morales[break]


[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-ditto"]

that too?

[break][break] he thinks about the last time that they had talked about it. the expeditions. thinks about how shell-shocked she had gotten just because he'd mentioned MATIAS SILPH of all people.

[break][break] had they had a fight too?

[break][break] he laughs at her question, the voice coming out surprised in despite of himself.

[break][break] "since when did you care about how i was, penny?"

[break][break] it's not cruel or terrible - just matter-of-fact.

[attr="class","ooc"] PENELOPE LIVY [break]

"I've never stopped caring."
[break][break]
Before she could work to prevent it, the words come spilling out. The truth behind it all.
[break][break]
Again, Penelope looked to stuff her face with another spoon full of noodles, this time letting bits of loose hair create a curtain between them, masking the now reddening pinch of her cheeks.

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] ollie morales[break]


[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-ditto"]

it came out.

[break][break] willow atkins would have been disappointed in him, knowing that he had such a lapse of his control, that he'd let his feelings get the better of him.

[break][break] "sorry, penny, i - " he fumbles immediately into an apology, placing his plate onto the table in front of them. her words, however, catch him off-guard.

[break][break] wait.

[break][break] she what?

[break][break] he blinks.

[break][break] "you... didn't?"

[break][break] that had to be a lie.

[break][break] 'i dont know if we can be friends.'

[break][break] she'd told him that not that long ago and it had absolutely gutted him.

[break][break] but had she not meant it?

[break][break] he bites his bottom lip.

[attr="class","ooc"] PENELOPE LIVY [break]

"Of course, I didn't."
[break][break]
Again, the words slipped out between the spindles of rolled-up pasta. And again she looked to bury it, changing expression hidden behind the wave of scarlet hair resting between them.
[break][break]
"sorry, I shouldn't have-- it's nothing. It doesn't matter anymore."
[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] ollie morales[break]


[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-ditto"]

he knows he should let it go.

[break][break] everything in him says that he has to let it go - if not for her, then for his friendship with her. or at least, the potential of it which had - prior to this moment - not existed before.

[break][break] it had torn him up for months, when she not only told him that she didn't want to be in his life anymore, but the cold and seething way that she'd treated him at each and every opportunity. but he'd ignored it. ignored it because people like willow atkins or Katherine Fairburne said that he just had to try, and she would eventually accept his apology.

[break][break] he had let it all happen at the smallest, slightest opportunity that she would want to be in his life again.

[break][break] that she cared.

[break][break] it was pathetic, really.

[break][break] and yet he found himself on the precipice again, grabbing the fishhook that she left dangled in front of him.

[break][break] impulsively, his hand reaches out to grab hers. his green gaze is heated as it bears into her.

[break][break] "it matters." of course it does. how could it not? "what do you mean?"

[break][break] his grip grows tighter around her fingers.

[break][break] "i thought you didn't - i thought."

[break][break] he swallows.

[break][break] "you said you didn't want to be friends. that we couldn't."

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] PENELOPE LIVY [break]

Terror sparked across her body at his touch. It'd been months since they'd last spun beneath the golden champaign light of the masquerade, years since their last night spent together, and a lifetime since her heart begged for more. Crawling up to her throat, it stays there, vibrating until her entire body shook with its repentance.
[break][break]

"Why do you think I said that," she fired back, her voice a loud croak of hidden anguish. Beyond the pain she'd felt for CIAN MAHER, bitterness of ollie morales and her's unmended relationship pushed to the forefront of her thoughts, saving her in a spiral of newfound torture.



[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] ollie morales[break]


[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-ditto"]

why?

[break][break] why?

[break][break] "because i fucked up. i know i fucked up - there's nothing i've thought about more, penny - i - "

[break][break] this wasn't the well-orchestrated, composed apology that he'd said to Katherine Fairburne that night. this was a confused, desperate plea for help, whirlwinded by the fact that he even had the opportunity for it.

[break][break] "i fucked up. but i still wanted you in my life anyways."

[break][break] he swallows.

[break][break] "it's selfish."

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] PENELOPE LIVY [break]

I, I, I - no wonder he was so clueless.
[break][break]

Eyes closed, Penelope took a deep breath, hot air steaming out from her nostrils in one last attempt to find some semblance of strength.
[break][break]

Unfortunately, there was only anguish and deep-rooted regret.
[break][break]

"Fuck ollie, if you're so sorry why didn't you come back for me?"
[break][break]

She paused, teeth meeting the insides of her cheeks.
[break][break]

"I waited - for three years, I was here, waiting for you to come back. You never did."

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] ollie morales[break]


[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-ditto"]