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"you've been here more than once?"

[break][break] he turns to him, gaze heather-bright amongst the fog that shades the mountainous terrain. ENVY bubbles up to the surface, brewing like a storm in his chest, before he realizes what fern means. last time. when they'd come with him, Alexandra Briarwood and Marza Volchitsa.

[break][break] "oh. yeah," he says, reaching for their hand. without the eyes of outsiders, there's something warm and familiar that fills him as their hands intertwine. exhaustion tugs at his bones, piecing his thoughts together, as he remembers why they've come here.

[break][break] "thanks for coming with me. i wanted to do some recon before we make our official next trip."

[break]

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His reaction is confusing to Fern, to say the least.[break][break]

Incredulity filters into their expression, blotting out the tendrils of excessive concern. “Uh, yeah. You were there, remember?” They scoff lightly, and shake their head. “Unless you count the whole being there when the rend was torn into reality in the first place bit.”[break][break]

“Of course. I didn’t want you to come here alone.” Any snippiness in their tone fades, ebbing like the tide receding. “Are you that tired, though, that you’re spacing on little things? Maybe we should come back later.”[break][break]

They don’t trust this place. Not in the least. And especially not with Jayden looking as worn out as he does. It’s like openly asking for their minds to start playing tricks.[break][break]

They’re still wandering forward, though. No matter Fern’s doubts.

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remember?

[break][break] all the days had blurred together, his only reprieve from his constant struggle to be with fern in the quiet hours of the day. brewing a cup of coffee together in their studio, pulling up to their covers at night as they played that awful otome game in the dead hours of the night. staying up long even after fern fell asleep, because it was for work. for intel.

[break][break] "i do," he says, a regretful sigh bubbling forth. remorse bleeds into his expression. "i'm sorry, i - "

[break][break] until fern says they should turn back.

[break][break] "what? no."

[break][break] he almost seems annoyed - no, offended at the prospect. that fern would dare suggest that he put himself before the fate of rocket, that he would dare to cut back on his hours simply because he was a little tired.

[break][break] "you know we can't do that."

[break][break] that he couldn't do that.

[break]

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Time spent together has grown sparser amid busy schedules and timing conflicts. Though they are busier now than they’ve ever been before, Fern still finds conflict and resistance in how Jayden refuses to slow his own pace.[break][break]

Normally, it’s something they let slide. It isn’t worth wasting the time they are actually able to spend together. Now, though, they feel their patience thinning when he meets their concern with irritation.[break][break]

“Do I know that?” Bitterness rises like bile in their throat, and Fern’s expression shifts in disdain as they roll their eyes and look away.[break][break]

Then something dawns in their expression sarcastically and they raise their other hand to smack against their forehead lightly. “Oh, of course not.” They scoff again, and this time the sound warps toward derisive.[break][break]

“What nerve I must have to suggest that rest would be smart before traipsing into a plane between life and death.”[break][break]

His stubbornness was unreal.

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of course you do, the retort bites back in the back of his throat, tempted to leap to the surface. of course fern knew, because fern always knew.

[break][break] his heart, his thoughts, his intentions.

[break][break] how could fern - a rocket - not understand?

[break][break] more than that, how could fern - his - not understand?

[break][break] "we aren't going to die," he says instead, stiffly, stubbornly. the feelings gathered up in side of him brew to the surface, before lowering. kanto had taught him to keep it all locked up, hidden away.

[break][break] "but we can rest. if you want."

[break]

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Frustration burns hot through them and they finally stop in their tracks to look up at him. “You don’t know that,” they hiss back, “You-“[break][break]

-Weren't there.[break][break]

He hadn’t seen the rift open up, spilling spirits as other people—living, breathing people were rended apart like rag dolls and put back together. He doesn’t know what this place holds[break][break]

And still he acts as if he is the only one who knows best.[break][break]

Because this is all for some great cause. For the glory of rocket.[break][break]

They would spit the words out in rejection like something sour and curdled if they could. Solving the answers of these rifts means little to them and their supposed cause if it means the other burns out because of it.[break][break]

They detest being made to feel foolish for something that is not so difficult of a concept. Suspicion and distrust rumble in the back of their mind, not fully buying the way he relents.“Yes, I want to rest. I want you to rest.”

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He what?

[break][break] Part of him wants to bite back. Wants to ask what Fern was about to say. Something holds him back, but he's not sure what. GRUDGE stirs in his heart, staring hard down at them.

[break][break] Even so, Jayden's impassive and nonchalant expression refusing to break even as he stares at the heated tempest brewing in the other's gaze.

[break][break] As much of a pull he feels towards exploring the rifts, as much as he knows that he needs to for the sake of Rocket, he yields to Fern. Because it's Fern.

[break][break] Softer, he says, "I think there's a place we can set up camp somewhere."

[break][break] Though it's sooner than he anticipated, Jayden leads them to a spot that he'd marked on the map before they'd left. He'd taken the reports of the other Rocket who'd examined the rift to find a good location, but of course, going there for yourself was another thing entirely.

[break][break] When they arrive, he pulls away.

[break][break] "I'll sent up the tent."

[break][break] And with that, he sets to work in relative silence.

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“Fine.” Their agreement is a sullen one, because they would rather leave outright. But they suppose that it’s also a small victory they’d be stupid not to seize upon.[break][break]

Of course, actually getting to the site is easier said than done, and by the time they make it, Fern is just as surly as before. If not more.[break][break]

The separation is one that Fern immediately notices, but unlike their typical desire to remain close, they indulge it. Sourness settles in their mind. Ugly and obscuring.[break][break]

“Yeah. Ok.” They’d prefer he didn’t work more than he needs to, but it’s a battle they don’t want to pick.[break][break]

Instead, they watch the surrounding area, wary distrust for the realm sending their defensiveness sky high. Preemptively, they summon their gengar.[break][break]

Morty floats around the perimeter, phasing in and out of shadows. All the while Fern watches and stews in their foul mood, rather than attempt to bridge any sort of sudden gap forming between themself and Jayden.

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compared to the storm that brews inside their partner, there is nothing but calmness and serenity that settles in jayden as he sets to work. there is just something meticulous about working with one's hands that is enjoyable, which is why he has always been the type of person to want to do things on his own.

[break][break] silence has always suited him, because growing up underneath dmitri's iron rule, there had never been anything but.

[break][break] he sets up the tent; each iron peg is secured in the ground, before the canvas sheets are tautly rolled against its sides and corners. he didn't want to waste any time getting the tent down again if they had to leave suddenly.

[break][break] within moments, it's complete.

[break][break] "i can set up a fire. are you hungry?"

[break][break]

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Frustration continues to fester under the surface of Fern’s demeanor. They would rather be the one to set up camp, but they were hopeless at outdoorsy sorts of things. In this, the anger turned inward, aimed at themself for being incapable.[break][break]

The question eventually sent their way is calm, bordering on serene.[break][break]

“No!” They bite down on their tongue to curb the outburst. Then they exhale a soft breath.[break][break]

They shake their head, almost furiously. Dark hair whips at their cheeks. “No, I’m fine. Just get some rest, yeah?” Fern chews on the end of their thumb, obviously agitated.[break][break]

The habit was one they’d worked to break, the reason they fastidiously keep their nails painted.[break][break]

“I can keep an eye out.”

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a terse reply would have set off no warning bells, but the sudden shout does.

[break][break] had fern ever yelled at him before?

[break][break] he looks at the other, something brewing in his amaranthine gaze. as if trying put together pieces of a puzzle.

[break][break] the admin finishes setting up the logs, deciding that it would be better to wait until later, before he sits down on a nearby stone.

[break][break] "i can wait with you."

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Dismay flits through Fern’s expression. There is immediate regret for losing their temper and shouting. But also equal parts frustration as he continues to deny their wish for him to rest.[break][break]

Because setting up shop on a boulder is the complete opposite.[break][break]

They shake their head adamantly. “No, the point of keeping a lookout is so that you can sleep.”[break][break]

To emphasize, they point at him, and then over at the currently empty tent. Resentment bubbles under their skin in a noxious brew.[break][break]

Their next words are bitter, muttered as they look away. “Don't know why you won’t just listen to me.” Does he not take them seriously? Is that it?

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his gaze follows where they point — towards the tent that he's just set up for the both of them and to where they are currently sitting.

[break][break] something like FEAR builds up inside of him at the thought, reminded of all the nightmares that he lives alone. sleeping in a place like this and alone is the last thing that he wanted to do.

[break][break] but he didn't want to admit it.

[break][break] instead, his jaw sets.

[break][break] "i am listening."