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I can get by the days just fine but the nights, 🌙

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TAG WITH @mint

POSTED ON Aug 24, 2023 2:39:55 GMT

fern delaney likes this

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[attr="class","minty"]

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tw: self harm [break][break]

Mint's fists tighten as he inhales deep through his nose. How lucky. Again. How lucky Jayden couldn't remember. He wished so desperately to forgot this gnawing hatred boiling his insides alive. He feels satisfied when Jayden's expression changes. He likes that it hurts. That Jayden could understand a fraction of the nightmare that's been haunting him since their dream ended. [break][break]

"I watched you, Jayden. I watched you for so long. I understood enough." [break][break]

Jayden begins cutting the distance and he feels the instinct to run- to scurry away and hide. But he stays put. He stares up with a glare refusing to be intimidated. The shiver down his spine juxtaposes the heat of the adrenaline pumping through his veins. He's better than the coward Michaelis used to be. [break][break]

"If you did, you wouldn't have done it over and over again to me." he spits back. "I watched you get everything you ever wanted." he gestures at the apartment. "Not just in a dream. Here too!" [break][break]

Jayden doesn't yell, but he didn't need to. The sharp tone of voice cutting though the air with ease of command Mint could only wish he had. But he was volatile, angry, and imploding on himself. There's no control, only destruction. "What is here, Jayden?! What's so different from Galar to Hoenn?" It's the same loneliness. The same sadness. He wants to curl up and die. He should've curled up and died. He shouldn't have come here. [break][break]

"You don't know the first thing about a broken heart! You just watched me play the fool while you had your fairy tale ending!" [break][break]

"Did you come find me because you cared? Or because I'd missed too many days at work?" his question is cold, as his eyes widened at the question. How dare he? How dare he? After he'd abandoned him so easily to go to Kanto? No calls or messages or texts. The overprotectiveness of fern delaney when he'd known him longer. How dare he when he had always reached out? Always tried to worm his way into the little time he had without Rocket or without Fern. [break][break]

He wants to hit him. To hurt him. To make him cry and regret and scream. He feels so out of control and frozen at the same time in rage. "Get the fuck out of my face, or else."

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"]
tagged ▸ ooc jayden cross | right after gg

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jayden

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december 25

ballonlea, galar

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we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter

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TAG WITH @jayden

POSTED ON Aug 24, 2023 2:50:50 GMT

fern delaney likes this

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[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

"i don't know the first thing about a broken heart?"

[break][break] "you have no idea, mint. you have no idea what chu-e put me through —"

[break][break] he bites down on the words, on the feeling that the ex-underboss brings up in his chest. it's been long enough that he doesn't care anymore, or at least he tells himself that he doesn't. but when pushed to the edge, when mint frost carves them out of him, he can't help it.

[break][break] mint yells at him, and it reminds him of the time that they'd first met again after kanto. but of a bubbling, sobbing mint and a guilty jayden cross, it's two men with wounds torn wide open, two men hurt —

[break][break] "or what, mint?"

[break][break] "you'll hurt me?"

[break][break] "how many times do i have to say it? i've been hurt before, and i've been hurt worse."

[break][break] "and yet i let you in. i trained you, protected you, vouched for you."

[break][break] would mint frost really be a beast without him?

[break][break] "do you really believe that i don't care about you?"

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] mint frost [break]
post-gg [break][break]

tw: self-harm mention

☉

[newclass=".littlejay"]--accent:#955adf; } .littlejay { font:12px 'Roboto'; letter-spacing:.5px; border-radius:0px; padding:40px 50px 50px; border-radius:0px 0px 5px 5px; } .littlejay b { color:var(--accent)!important; font:bold 12px/10px 'Poppins'; } .littlejay i { color:var(--accent)!important; } .littlejay u { border-color:var(--accent)!important; letter-spacing:0.5px; } .littlejay .ooc { text-align:center;padding:20px 40px 20px 40px;border-top:1px solid #232323;margin-top:30px;margin-bottom:-45px; } .littlejay .ooc a { color:var(--accent)!important; font:bold 13px 'Poppins'; text-transform:lowercase;[/newclass]
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peppermint, micha

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january 19

hearthome city, sinnoh

homiesexual

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rocket beast

5'6" height

I can get by the days just fine but the nights, 🌙

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part of

TAG WITH @mint

POSTED ON Aug 24, 2023 3:41:00 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","minty"]

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tw: self harm [break][break]

"What ABOUT Chu-e?!" Mint snaps back, eyes wide with fury as Jayden gives him a name that isn't his partner's. "Did you have something broken? Or did someone have to tell you like the oblivious dimwitt you are?" Did someone have to explain nuance to you? Subtlety? Intentions? Did someone have to ask you all those little questions and take pains to extrapolate every little flutter and every ache? [break][break]

His nails dig further into his palms, shaking as Jayden calls his bluff. He gives one warning. And one warning is more than enough. Hurt begets hurt and he feels so raw but he can't stop. Poison cuts his throat as he throws it back in Jayden's face. He doesn't even stop to wipe his own tears. [break][break]

"Did you even really do that for me? Or because you thought you could gain Rocket another potential asset?!" he yells, wild smile hiding the hurt. If there's one thing Jayden held above all else it was Rocket after all. He'd admired him for it. Wanted to emulate it. He'd ignored how restless it made him. [break][break]

"You let me in? Jayden I barely KNOW you." Mint scoffed. "I don't know what you life, what you dislike. I had to wrench your birthday out of you. I don't know your family or your friends. You didn't even tell me you were in love with Fern when we're best frie--" he stops abruptly, a crack in the ferocity at the realization. [break][break]

No. No he'd known. In his subconscious he'd know all along. Hidden somewhere deep, and rising now to the surface a horrible, terrible thought. [break][break]

"We're-" and his expression hardens as his eyes drip an unending stream of tears. He can't bring himself to say it. [break][break]

"I cared- care. I always reach out first. I always text you or call you. I always plan things. I always figure out your stupid fucking schedules. I ALWAYS think of you first. I always want to push you further- and you couldn't even teLL ME YOU WERE ALIVE?" The storm of words ends in a shriek from hell. [break][break]

The realization comes crashing down. Something he'd tried to quash early on in his life because it would fundamentally embitter every relationship he had. A fundamental truth that haunted him: [break][break]

mint frost would never be anyone's first choice.

[break][break]

It didn't matter with who. And maybe that's why the bitterness lingered. Why Galar haunted his dreams and thoughts. In the microcosm of time that was Galar, dream as it may have been, he'd watched the very same happen to him over and over again. Fun in the moment, and only ever that.

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"]
tagged ▸ ooc jayden cross | right after gg

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played by

milky

jayden

he/him

december 25

ballonlea, galar

bisexual

wyndon ceo

admin

5'10" height

we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter

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TAG WITH @jayden

POSTED ON Aug 24, 2023 3:51:16 GMT

Cillian Quinn and mint frost like this

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[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

"yes!"

[break][break] "he'd made a fool of me, mint."

[break][break] "he broke me in a way i didn't know was possible."

[break][break] "he made me feel like - like i wasn't capable of love. wasn't deserving."

[break][break] he'd never said it outloud before, had never spoke it into existent.

[break][break] "and then i found someone new, and he left too."

[break][break] "he betrayed rocket, betrayed me, betrayed all of us."

[break][break] whether he was talking about CIAN MAHER or someone else, he left ambiguous. vague. he pressed on.

[break][break] "are you listening to yourself, mint?"

[break][break] "you say you care, you say you always reach out. you text me or call me. you plan things. you think of me."

[break][break] "but are you really thinking of me? if you were, would we be having this conversation?"

[break][break] "you didn't have to ask me to take care of you, to protect you, to make sure you were safe. to vouch for you against underboss THEO BECKETT and Cillian Quinn, to fight for your position in spectra, or your spot as a beast."

[break][break] "you think i do that for just anyone?"

[break][break] he shakes his head.

[break][break] "you're wrong, mint. we aren't best friends."

[break][break] he steps back, eyes crackling in the cold light of the room.

[break][break] "we're family."

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] mint frost [break]
post-gg [break][break]

tw: self-harm mention

☉

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kimmy

peppermint, micha

he/they

january 19

hearthome city, sinnoh

homiesexual

ig baddie

rocket beast

5'6" height

I can get by the days just fine but the nights, 🌙

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part of

TAG WITH @mint

POSTED ON Aug 24, 2023 4:27:54 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","minty"]

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tw: self harm [break][break]

He's never seen Jayden this honest before. And if he wasn't so upset he may have reached out to comfort him. Physical affection he knew how to do so well. Words of comfort came with ease. But this? He can't handle his own emotions much less mediate Jayden's. He just feels hurt, and now its two fold. Pain for the life he finds himself in having changed himself in visage alone. And pain for the muck he was dragging his best friend through. [break][break]

Even in this state Jayden's revelations pull a gasp from him before he realizes he's breathing heard. Another traitor. Another defector. A double whammy every time Rocket had a defector report come to their desks. [break][break]

"If I didn't I wouldn't even talk to you!" He wouldn't hurt so bad when he couldn't see him. Or cry when he saw him hurt. [break][break]

"I think-" he choked, silence by the Admin. Cold hurt pulsing through him as his heart seized. Horrified. Then he clamped his mouth shut, brain short circuiting. He had no idea what to think. [break][break]

Instinctually, he steps back, away from Jayden. Eyes big, and blurry. Face contorting with pain and something else. [break][break]

"Wha- What're you- y-you talking about?" he asked, barely holding it together eyes hurting so bad they squeeze shut. He breaks. His hands on his face as he desperately tries to wipe away the tears and snot pouring out of him. [break][break]

What an absolutely horribly trick to play on him. It almost makes him hate Jayden more. It should make him hate him more.

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"]
tagged ▸ ooc jayden cross | right after gg

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played by

milky

jayden

he/him

december 25

ballonlea, galar

bisexual

wyndon ceo

admin

5'10" height

we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter

awards

4,484 posts

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part of

ATTACK

DEFENSE

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TAG WITH @jayden

POSTED ON Aug 24, 2023 4:35:25 GMT

mint frost likes this

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[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

it is hurt.

[break][break] it's hurt upon hurt upon hurt, stacked on each other like a paper house that's just meant to fall down.

[break][break] "what do you mean?"

[break][break] "you're my family, mint. could i be any clearer?"

[break][break] it feels like glass shards in his throat.

[break][break] "rocket is my life. fern is my life."

[break][break] "but you're family."

[break][break] his hands clutch into white-hard fists at his side.

[break][break] "the fact that you would ever think otherwise — " he sucks in a breath, hurt bleeding all the way through. "you don't understand me at all, do you?"

[break][break] he looks away. and it's the first time — in front of mint, in that home of his — that he sheds a tear.

[attr="class","ooc"] mint frost [break]
post-gg [break][break]

tw: self-harm mention

☉

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played by

kimmy

peppermint, micha

he/they

january 19

hearthome city, sinnoh

homiesexual

ig baddie

rocket beast

5'6" height

I can get by the days just fine but the nights, 🌙

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part of

TAG WITH @mint

POSTED ON Aug 24, 2023 5:22:36 GMT

fern delaney likes this

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[attr="class","minty"]

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tw: self harm [break][break]

"How?!" it comes out a loud sob. Frustration pouring out of him with no signs of stopping. His vitriol towards everything going wild and cutting at anything and everything within arms reach. Family? [break][break]

Family?!

[break][break]

He wants to scream. To tear his throat out. To jump right off a cliff into the void and never look back because its too much. It's too much. [break][break]

He thinks of luciano fisk who he'd seen from afar, but not reconnected with in fear. [break][break]

He thought of Ciprina Fisk , and how he'd been carefully tip toeing around her social media presence. [break][break]

He thinks about Nerezza and Vitalia. One he'd put in the hospital from the shock and the other who'd kill him if she knew he was still alive. [break][break]

There's Amaretta, distant but amicable. And her brother- their brother Alonso, too distracted to deal with him. Seraphina their pride and joy always touring. always gone. [break][break]

And then there's Noemi and Antain. So far removed from the birth of their last few children they were practically strangers to each other. [break][break]

Michaelis Fisk came form a long line of family with problems and complex issues. [break][break]

mint frost had no family. It's easier to explain. Easier to wave off. Easier to ignore. [break][break]

Even as close as he was to fern delaney , he had always considered himself alone. On his own. Even if he constantly sought out others, he always returned home at peace. [break][break]

But when Jayden calls him family, asserts its different, Mint doesn't know what to think. He doesn't know what it means. Because family is so much more different than friendship. Family is blood, loyalty. A protection of a different sort when it comes to the horrors Hoenn had to offer. [break][break]

He had never thought of Jayden as such. Mint had never allowed himself to cross that boundary between them. He'd never allowed himself to think their friendship warranted it. Jayden had history with Rocket, and with other people in Rocket. A history that separated them both and kept Mint at arm's length. [break][break]

It's a revelation that hurts him more. Because even when he didn't see him, when he missed him, Jayden was trying. For him. When he didn't need to. When he wasn't expected to. After all they were just really good friends right? Right?? What more was he allowed to do for Jayden? What was he supposed to do for him?! [break][break]

The dull ache at the base of his throat creeps up, crushing his windpipe as Jayden turns away, truly hurt because of something Mint had done. And he hates it. He hates himself. And it almost knocks him off his feet how sudden and visceral it all feels. And he realizes, this too, must've been some leftover from Galar that he was rediscovering. An abyss of self hatred that had colored every thought, every action conceivable. No right answers. No happy days. [break][break]

Jayden turns away form him and Mint sobs in silence as he catches a glimpse of him. He wants to reach out, but he doesn't. [break][break]

"I don't." his voice noise is stuffed, his face slick and red. "I don't get you at all!" he confessed, hands so ready to hurt now tucked into his arm pits and he hugged himself. "But you don't get me either!" He hadn't known. How could he have known? He barely knew Jayden. And Jayden barely knew him. [break][break]

How could he love him if he didn't know him? [break][break]

Maybe he didn't. Maybe he was just being selfish again.

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"]
tagged ▸ ooc jayden cross | right after gg

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played by

milky

jayden

he/him

december 25

ballonlea, galar

bisexual

wyndon ceo

admin

5'10" height

we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter

awards

4,484 posts

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part of

ATTACK

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SPEED

TAG WITH @jayden

POSTED ON Aug 24, 2023 5:39:08 GMT

mint frost and fern delaney like this

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[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

it spirals. the feelings turn and turn and turn between them, curving inwards. bitterness, hate, resentment, loyalty, love, desperation.

[break][break] they overlap so many times until mint frost carves it out of him, cuts him open with a surgical knife.

[break][break] 'you don't get me either!'

[break][break] mint is bawling tears now, and jayden's face is stony-cold, tears sparking at the edges of his eyes. it looks different on them both, but they are still very much the same. they are hurt.

[break][break] and they find the middle, somehow, in the center of all this hurt.

[break][break] like the scars that run tiretracks around their wrists, marking them the same in the darkest of ways.

[break][break] a palm rubs against his eye.

[break][break] "i don't," he says, throat thick. "you're right."

[break][break] "but i do care about you, mint. in the only way that i can. the only way that i know how."

[break][break] he steps towards him then, softer steps than before.

[break][break] "believe me, please."

[break][break] 'don't leave me.'

[attr="class","ooc"] mint frost [break]
post-gg [break][break]

tw: self-harm mention

☉

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played by

kimmy

peppermint, micha

he/they

january 19

hearthome city, sinnoh

homiesexual

ig baddie

rocket beast

5'6" height

I can get by the days just fine but the nights, 🌙

awards

2,932 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @mint

POSTED ON Aug 24, 2023 6:28:25 GMT

[nospaces]

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tw: self harm [break][break]

Mint wants to curl into himself and disappear. This conversation had not gone the way he wanted it to. Jayden had invited him over to hang out. He had been checking in on him. Jayden looks back at him, and his breath hitches seeing the glassy quality in his eyes. [break][break]

And then he speaks. And Jayden sounds like he's taking it as hard as Min is. It scared him. Like he'd broken something he couldn't begin to fathom how to fix. And he shakes, scared he'd ruined one of his closest friendships all over again. Just like Artemis. He'd been selfish and overbearing and pushy- [break][break]

Mint blinks the tears out of his eyes, watching Jayden's blurry form move forward. He flinches, hesitating for a moment. [break][break]

"I- I care about you too-" he croaks, tremors wracking his body, nodding quickly. [break][break]

"I- I-" his words are broken up by sharp gasps and small sobs. He wants to believe him. He wants to believe that Jayden cares. That he hasn't been a burden to him. That he wasn't just a special project for Rocket. That Jayden loved him as much as Mint had come to love Jayden. [break][break]

He can't take another heartbreak, another disappointment. [break][break]

Mint tries to hold it together for a second, but he ends up running towards Jayden, clinging to him so tightly. He doesn't want to go. He doesn't want to lose his best friend- his new family. [break][break]

Whatever the hell that meant. It doesn't matter anymore.

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"]
tagged ▸ ooc jayden cross | right after gg

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played by

milky

jayden

he/him

december 25

ballonlea, galar

bisexual

wyndon ceo

admin

5'10" height

we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter

awards

4,484 posts

DOLLARS

part of

ATTACK

DEFENSE

SPEED

TAG WITH @jayden