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The week was a blur of pain and monotony. Caleb dozed in and out of consciousness, hardly able to sustain himself on what little food they afforded him. His stomach growled and his head ached. Where the metal of his restraints met skin, chafing it, there were angry red blisters forming.[break][break]
All the while, his thoughts fluctuated between anxiety for those on the outside (Isaac, the other Rangers who’d been at the Ancient Tomb, Angelo...), a sense of foreboding regarding when his brother might finally show up, and a bizarre, inexplicable, masochistic yearning to see Barnaby again.[break][break]
I just want to talk to him, he argued with himself. Try and help him remember...[break][break]
Remember what, exactly? Caleb couldn’t even articulate it, let alone describe it in detail. It ripped apart his mind as easily as the Alakazam could with its psychic torture.[break][break]
He got his wish, in the end: Barnaby reappeared. Enigmatic sapphires locked with churning seas of deeper blue, and then the world went black.
Groaning, Caleb opened his eyes, something sharp pricking the skin of his cheek. The velvet voice in his ear was enough to send a shiver down his spine, as well as fully rouse him from unconsciousness.[break][break]
"A chair," he croaked, finding a spark of defiance buried beneath his fatigue. "That’s new."

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Caleb Harcourt[break]
post goodbye galar

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Caleb frowned.[break][break]
Barnaby’s mouth on his ear was so very enticing. Despite the way his body tensed in reaction to it - explicit images (memories?) of those lips pressing themselves to other parts of Caleb’s body surfacing unbidden to his mind - Caleb had the sinking feeling that “honesty”, in this case, would be entirely subjective. Barnaby would decide if his answers were honest, and an unfair ruling could lead to the cutting of flesh rather than ropes.[break][break]
Caleb was all too familiar with the sick games Rocket liked to play.[break][break]
Did he really have a choice, however?[break][break]
“Sure, I get it,” he muttered, his tone compliant if feigning indifference. Unfortunately, the mirror revealed a different story: one man bound to another, totally within his control. “Honest answers only.”

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Caleb Harcourt[break]
post goodbye galar

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His full name? He eyed Barnaby, and immediately sensed the intensity of the other man’s sapphire gaze: precise and clinical, like an x-ray machine honing in on a broken bone.[break][break]
Right. This was typical. Barnaby would ask straightforward questions meant to reveal more about Caleb’s body language than who he was as a person.[break][break]
“Caleb Nolan Harcourt,” he answered truthfully, keeping his voice even. Nonchalant.

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Caleb Harcourt[break]
post goodbye galar

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The knife bit into his skin and Caleb winced, grinding his teeth. Hot blood pooled at the site of the cut, and Caleb felt it slide down his arm and drip harmlessly onto the floor.[break][break]
He wasn’t a fool. He’d known the blade had a purpose beyond cutting him free.[break][break]
The next question gave him a moment of pause. This was a question about someone else - a fellow member of the League. For several silent heartbeats save for the sound of dripping blood and breathing, Caleb considered what he should say. He did not know Laurence Anderson well, they weren’t close. But was he prepared to betray a fellow League Ranger - a Head Ranger?[break][break]
Are they even looking for you? A quiet voice whispered in the back of his mind. Do they even care?[break][break]
“I barely know that guy,” Caleb growled. “Went and lost his fancy bird, though.” Articuno. The avian God of winter. “On the brink of losing his Avatarship, too, it seems like. They’re not on speaking terms.”[break][break]
It came easily in the end, though he hated himself for it.

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Caleb Harcourt[break]
post goodbye galar

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Until that moment, things had been painful, yes. But it wasn’t until Barnaby forced Caleb to look him in the eyes that the torture truly began.[break][break]
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“I can’t lie to you,” Caleb admitted softly, reluctantly, the ghost of a version of himself whispering bittersweet words in the back of his mind. Deja-vu pulled him under like an especially violent high tide.[break][break]
He stared into those beautiful, otherworldly sapphire eyes, and somehow knew with utter certainty that they would be his downfall in a million different timelines.

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Caleb Harcourt[break]
post goodbye galar

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Ironically, this was the question Caleb couldn't answer. Every possible explanation that surfaced in his mind sounded more ridiculous and farfetched than the last. Was it all some made-up hallucination due to the trauma of his capture? If so, then why did it feel so real?[break][break]
Heat flared through his body as Barnaby gripped his jaw and forced the Ranger's head to remain forward, fixated on the Rocket Admin.[break][break]
Just tell him the truth. That's all he ever asked you to do.[break][break]
Which meant admitting he didn't know a goddamn thing.[break][break]
"I have no idea," he answered, his voice taking on a weary quality. "It's a feeling ... of having trusted you once. Like we were somewhere else for a long time and things between us were ... different."[break][break]
Not like this, his eyes seemed to emphasize.[break][break]
"You really don't know what I mean?" He murmured, all but begging for confirmation that he wasn't alone in his grief.

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Caleb Harcourt[break]
post goodbye galar

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No. Cold. Detached.[break][break]
The bite of the knife was far less painful than Barnaby's outright denial. Caleb had been so sure the other man would remember something. The Rocket Admin slashed at him, but it was the way Barnaby so readily dismissed their time together as a meaningless dream that gutted Caleb.[break][break]
Ironically, one man's denial could easily fuel another's.[break][break]
"Fuck you," he growled, anguished, ignoring Barnaby's question. "You're lying. You do remember."[break][break]
Something occurred to him.[break][break]
"Why are you in charge of me, anyway? How'd you convince Zev to give you the privilege?"[break][break]
Blood seeped from the wounds on Caleb's chest, stinging reminders of his current predicament.[break][break]
"You don't know why I'm here? Guess he doesn't want his precious Rocket peers to know." Caleb barked out a laugh. "I stabbed him in the Ultra Deep Sea. He doesn't want me dead, he just wants me to suffer for having bested him."[break][break]
Hot guilt surged through Caleb at the admission despite his vicious mockery. He regretted hurting his brother, because it wasn't his way to be violent like that, even against someone like Zev. But Zev had goaded him into it, riled him beyond repair, the memory making Caleb angry all over again.[break][break]
Angry and remorseful.

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