[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]”no, um — i’m sorry, is now a bad time?”

she no longer has the warm bliss of showing up unannounced and being welcomed with open arms. she had given that up — a decision she has long since come to regret.

it’s clear, however, that the scientist is seeking something. whether she knows it or not, her movements speak of the itching sensation that comes with wanting to be honest. it burns through her throat.

ALEXANDER STONE

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]at the sight of india, she warms like wax over a flame. his smile is returned a moment later, hesitant for a mere second.

”okay.”

she bends to give india a fond pat on the head before glancing back up at him.

”any destination in mind?”

faintly, she feels her brain shift with her own question. longing comes in quickly — though, for what or where or who, she doesn’t quite know.

ALEXANDER STONE

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]"i see."

she doesn't comment much on the concept, but a part of it instills a sense of sadness. a life in the shadows is not what she would want for him... it hadn't been her intention back in the borders, but he seems fine regardless and it's not her place anymore. she would do well to remember that.

india launches himself out of the door and into the sunshine, leaving illeana to fall into step beside alex. it's comfortable, somehow.

"oh, um, okay, i suppose? i'm hanging in there."

she can't complain - not to him.

"and you? i heard you've been keeping busy lately."

ALEXANDER STONE

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]he doesn't allow the conversation to shift and, in a way, she surmises she can't exactly be surprised.

"i'm okay, really."

whether it's to convince him or herself, she cannot be sure.

"i just - well, it's not really a big deal."

not in the end, anyway. she's moved on, hasn't she? a little sigh heaves out and she looks away from concern toward shrubbery.

"i've been focusing on work since the, um, break up, and it's produced some odd results - it's kind of distracting, actually."

like she sees repairing space when she closes her eyes, when she sleeps, when she tries and fails to dream.

ALEXANDER STONE

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]does she want to talk about it?

"i'm not sure."

there's a hesitance she can't shake - the possibility of judgement and consequences of her own failures weighing heavy on the shoulders.

will he understand? will he preach the way others have?

she looks ahead to the grounds of the estate, to where the land meets the sky against the horizon. it's comforting in its own familiar way.

"i don't think i'd even know where to start."

the break up, the dimensional rift, her actions from his death until now... each one bears a consequence she cannot quite face yet.

ALEXANDER STONE

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]with little else to do, she begins pacing — the action more distracting for herself than him. it loosens mental faculties until she’s dissolving into something… odd, frantic.

”talking it out doesn’t even really do much, does it?”

a question she doesn’t want an answer to.

”it just makes it hurt all over again but it’s not like that makes much of a difference.”

she has been lying to herself, possibly, about the concept of moving on. she has never really gotten over anything — not Felix Gallagher, not FERNANDO SILPH, and absolutely certainly not the very man in front of her.

”he left and it didn’t even actually hurt cause we spent 20 years separated in a memory so i, naturally, moved on regardless — what else is left to discuss?”

a noise of frustration escapes and she digs her heels into the ground, turning away. guilt rises and it threatens to erode irritation at the situation… not for him, not for her, but for alexander subjected to her fracturing mind.

ALEXANDER STONE