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A flash of pink fairy light.[break][break]

The attack that Sparklefur had been prepping slammed into the walls of the old pantry when she did, ice crusting over the edges of the small room as shelves splintered from her weight.[break][break]

Sparklefur was absolutely massive for a Delcatty. A great lioness of a pokemon, towering above most of her species. She was also fat, both with fluff and blubber; her whole body mutated and strange from Rocket's experimentation. When she pulled herself out from the ruins of the old shelves, her ears pricked up as bloodthirsty eyes narrowed in on Isaac Merlo.[break][break]

She knew this one. Had smelled her master on him.[break][break]

No matter. A meal was a meal.[break][break]

Licking her lips, Sparklefur shook herself free of dirt and debris before stalking forward on deceptively quiet paws. Feline face was curled into an eternal smile, coy and sweet before she tried to pounce on the man- claws out and fangs ready to rip out his delicate throat.

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[attr="class","textbox"]"Aw, crapbaskets."[break][break]

His opponent for the night was a Delcatty big enough to swallow a kindergartener whole, and with her dad away the cat would play. The "we're friends here, honest" routine might've saved Eris Halla' skin in her own encounter with Chu-e, but Sparklefur didn't give a hot gay fuck about things like that. She only cared about what would sate her hunger next.[break][break]

She stalked forward, her footsteps silent. Between their eyes meeting and the sheer mass of this cat, she sure as shit wasn't hiding anything. No, this was a show of force, a communication of what she could do if Isaac turned his back on her for even a moment. And then, without further warning, she launched at him like a missile of muscle and blubber.[break][break]

Luckily, hurtling through the air left her a key vulnerability. Isaac whipped a pair of Pokeballs straight from the hip, bonking the cat right in the face. It wouldn't catch her, considering she was already a registered Pokemon. However, it would ideally be a solid enough hit to release the Pokeball's payload. A surge of energy would release a much less appetizing looking Rhydon in front of Isaac.[break][break]

"Rampage, hold her off!" Isaac called, the Rhydon settling into a fighting stance. The second Pokemon's payload, a Sinistea floats over his shoulder, shot him a dubious look. "No time for that, Alfred."[break][break]

"We gotta get cooking."

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When the ball hit Sparklefur's face, it honestly sounded like a cartoon BONK sound effect.[break][break]

It did it's plan, startling the massive feline enough to cause her to lose momentum. She slammed into one of the walls, leaving fissure cracks from her bulk. Shaking herself off, she hissed loudly and bared her fangs at the Rhydon.[break][break]

Tough outer shell but soft meat inside. She would crack it open like a crab and have her fill.[break][break]

Lunging at the Rock type, she tried to grapple with it and bring it down. Raw force steamed and gathered between her fangs, a sinister humming filling the room. The heat started to rise, a distinct smell of fresh cut grass wafting from her.

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[attr="class","textbox"]Rampage cut her teeth wrestling with Kiryu herself. She was no slouch to being pushed around. However, this two-legged stance was still new to her, and against a foe this relentless that spelled trouble. The first takedown sent Rampage skidding back, only a shaky slam of her tail against the floor stopping her from toppling over.[break][break]

As she roared back in the Delcatty's face, she realized all too late that this was no threat display. It was a technique being prepared. The smell of nature became overwhelming, and the only response that came to Rampage's mind was to headbutt the Delcatty with an enraged Megahorn. If there was no escaping the pain to come, she could at least dish it out in kind.[break][break]

Speaking of dishing, Isaac and Alfred were in a race against time to do the same. Good news; the appliances still turned on. No sense disconnecting a perfectly good house, after all. Bad news; the pantry was down to the barest scraps. Any perishables in the fridge had long been cleared out, a sentence that summed up 90% of all foods.[break][break]

There, in the back of the panty, was Isaac's salvation; a can of tuna. Would a cat as pampered as Sparklefur even go for the stuff? It would at least buy him time to search for something more proper. He pried the can open with a pop, then leaned out from the kitchen to shout over towards Sparklefur. "First course for the young master!" he called out, sliding over a blob of tuna artfully arranged on a ceramic plate.[break][break]

He'd have to think fast. There was only so much china here, and like hell was this cat gonna eat out of a plastic bowl.

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Fine china clattered to the ground.[break][break]

A pulsing Solar Beam finally charged, arc'd in the air. At first, at the Rhydon. Then it veered to the side in a zagging line with the Delcatty's head, both as it was shoved from the Megahorn as well as the scent of tuna catching her nose. It left nasty, red, molten gouges in the wall and part of the ceiling around them. If Chu-e had known about the damage to the house they had shared with their husband, they might have cried.[break][break]

But Chu-e wasn't here, they were with Eris Halla.[break][break]

Sparklefur huffed in a steamy, grass scented breath. Eyes flickering between the Rhydon and the tuna....[break][break]

Hackles raising, she hauled herself up into her own threat display, face warping from that of false innocent into that of a demon's. A loud, guttural yowling bellowed from her chest as her fur stood on end.[break][break]

Yet, for the moment, she hopped over to curl around the tuna. She lapped it up quick in broad strokes; this would not buy Isaac Merlo much time.

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[attr="class","textbox"]In his defense, poor Isaac was trying his best. As fine china clattered to the ground, Isaac threw himself to the floor, trying his damndest to catch it with his hands, his feet, and even his waist. As he contorted himself to catch as many plates as possible, Alfred got to work on a bowl of minute rice, using his tea as a substitute for the shut-down water supply.[break][break]

Rampage flinched back at the Delcatty's threat display. She would've laughed in the face of any other Delcatty, but considering this one was heavily mutated, bearing an unnerving shadowy presence, and had nearly kamehameha'd her ass in half, Sparklefur earned the wiggle room. It was just a pity the wiggle room wouldn't last. With each swipe of her tongue, Sparklefur scooped up tons of tuna.[break][break]

Once the minute rice was done, it was time for Isaac's saving grace; spam! "Man, I never thought I'd be so glad to see this stuff," he said as Alfred dolloped out the minute rice in a few quick piles. Isaac slapped a slab of Spam atop each, and with that he had another handful of snacks to break out for Sparklefur. Surely, this one would buy him a bit more time, right?[break][break]

He'd have to find out the hard way. He slid the plate out for Sparklefur's entertainment, Alfred wasting no time in rummaging through the cupboards. If they didn't keep the food coming, World War 3 would break out in the living room.

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Much too soon, the tuna had all vanished down the Delcatty's throat. The plate was licked clean. Thankfully for Isaac Merlo, when the feline looked up she didn't spot him as a meal. Instead, the piles of tea-rice and spam.[break][break]

She chomped down on the first pile, the spam half in and half out of her mouth. Shaking her broad head to 'snap her prey's neck', she devoured the slice in a few chomps and swallows. The rice was licked up next. She moved from pile to pile offered.[break][break]

But it would not be enough to sate her appetite.[break][break]

While the distraction was working, Isaac would need to find something more filling and quick if he wanted to make grounds against Sparklefur's appetite.

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[attr="class","textbox"]"How the fuck is she eating so fast!?"[break][break]

Spam after spam, rice after rice, was hoovered down in short order. At times, it felt like the second Isaac whipped together a plate, Sparklefur had already finished the last one. How could he even pull anything better together if he could barely get a second to breathe? For a moment, it felt like Isaac had finally met his match.[break][break]

Bullshit. A Pokeball on his belt wiggled in protest.[break][break]

Of course. Had Isaac truly forgotten himself already? He wasn't just anyone. He was the silver medalist of Hoenn's inaugural Steel Chef competition, damnit! But he hadn't earned that trophy alone. In a flash of light, Miyuki the Braixen appeared at his side. The two looked at each other, a smile spreading across Isaac's face. "Guess it's you and me against the world again, huh?" he asked.[break][break]

"Alfred! Keep the spam coming while it lasts. Miyuki, you set up a fire pit and swap with me when I give the signal." With a nod, Miyuki climbed out the window. It seemed counterintuitive, but what they were working on today wasn't meant for kitchens. Instead, her Psychic power pulled together plenty of kindling and dried grass, lit with an expert flourish of her Will-o-Wisp.[break][break]

Poor Rampage could only watch in confusion as this "fight" had become anything but. Alfred slid over increasingly dwindling plates of spam, all while Isaac flit from cabinet to cabinet. With no perishables, he'd need to turn to whatever dried ingredients had been left behind. A Bob's Food Tin. A smoked Slowpoke Tail. A can of beans. Some dehydrated potatoes. Some dried berries. Some spices from the back. Fuck it, it'd do.[break][break]

"Showtime!" In a poof of energy, Isaac was gone. Now he stood where Miyuki once had, tending to a small yet well-stoked fire. In his hand was the pot of remaining minute rice, just enough to serve as the base for a proper Galarian-style curry. Most of the ingredients he'd nabbed were already cooked. They'd just need to be heated up and given a good stir. Isaac piled food after food into his pot, holding it over the flame with one hand and stirring like his life depended on it with another.[break][break]

Without a proper camping setup, it was easier said than done. The freshly-fanned flames nipped at his hand, and having to balance the pot with one arm left him sore as all hell. Nevertheless, with a brow nit in concentration, he continued stirring that curry into submission. Even with the food's age, the heat and the full body brought out all their stored up umami. Isaac's stomach grumbled, but he hushed it. For once, this wasn't his turn to indulge.[break][break]

Alfred hefted one of the last spam and rice piles up. Miyuki levitated another with psychic powers, dangling it right in front of Sparklefur's face. Together, they would do their best to lure her to the open window, where far more delicious scents would surely steal her attention.[break][break]

Isaac could only hope, once they had, that his magnum opus would do the trick.