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Eddie was used to being the one keeping his shit together for the benefit of others. [break][break]

It was a skill cultivated and refined over years of older brotherhood and a couple of decades of keeping the most private aspects of his personal life under lock and key. It had become second nature to just smile wide whenever someone asked what was wrong, to give some sort of cheeky reply or toss a joke their way to keep them from realizing how truly in the shit he was. It was normal, it was good, and sometimes he too was able to buy into the lie of normalcy he sold to others. [break][break]

But that was back when he was dealing with the painfully mundane, in his life before arriving in Hoenn. Maybe something like getting kidnapped and held in an extraterrestrial prison ship was mundane for some of the people living here at this point, but Eddie had quickly realized that this wasn't the sort of thing he could just dismiss with a joke or a fake grin. Nope, this was some real, grade-A, bona fide shit, and he was struggling to get a handle on the fear and anxiety and self-loathing it had left in it's wake. [break][break]

He would have to try though, at least for today. Eddie mustered up the best smile he could manage when he called out to Yuina, [break][break]

“Hey kiddo, soakin' up some sun?”

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Yuina Higashi [break]

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There was hesitation in her voice. Eddie's smile faltered a little, but he pushed his worry down, [break][break]

“Good,” he replied easily as he drew close, “Cute as ever, needy as ever.” [break][break]

Though she had grown restless since he had returned. Probably because she could sense the constant thrum of anxiety that seemed to punctuate just about everything he did. Eddie turned to look out onto the glittering waves that stretched away from the island town, though he watched Yuina out of the corner of his eye, [break][break]

“How're you holdin' up these days?” [break][break]

It was probably a dumb question in the grand scheme of things, but it'd be remiss of him not to ask. Eddie felt a pang of guilt when he recalled the fact that he hadn't even realized that Yuina was trapped in that prison with him until they were well on the way to escaping.

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Yuina Higashi [break]

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As soon as Eddie heard his friend's voice start to waver, he hastily turned back to her, worry etched into his furrowed brow and in the frown that tugged at the corners of his lips, [break][break]

“Hey, Yuina-” [break][break]

Her clenched hands and their white knuckles told him everything he needed to know. This poor kid was only holding on by a thread; he had to do something to fix it, as impossible as the task sounded. Eddie started by gently resting a hand on her shoulder, though he would remove it with haste if the gesture made her uncomfortable, [break][break]

“I know. I know it's hard; believe me, I know.” [break][break]

Eddie didn't want Yuina to have to worry about him on top of everything else, so he considered his words carefully before speaking up again, [break][break]

“It's hard as hell, tryin' to move on like nothin' ever happened. 'Specially when you talk to folks that didn't get snatched up like we did.” [break][break]

He paused. How much would be appropriate to disclose of his own troubles? Would it help Yuina feel understood? Maybe he could offer something, so she wouldn't feel like she was struggling on her own, [break][break]

“If I'm bein' honest, I still have nightmares about it.”

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Yuina Higashi [break]

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“I know,” he repeated, at a loss for what else to say, “I feel it, too.” [break][break]

And Eddie really did think he could feel it sometimes when he started from his sleep in the early hours of morning. Something fleshy and constricting around his neck. The taste of peach on his tongue. Stale cigarettes and black coffee helped chase the phantom taste away, but the events of their stay played in the theater of his mind damn-near every time he closed his eyes. Eddie shook his head sadly, [break][break]

“But we're here now, ain't we? Back home, away from all'a that.” [break][break]

Though for how long, he sometimes wondered. They could easily be scooped up again by some other force beyond their control, and God, he didn't know if he was strong enough not to fail again and again and again in the face of whatever else was to come.

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Yuina Higashi [break]

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“Strong? Me?” [break][break]

Eddie actually laughed a little in sheer disbelief at that. What an absurd thought, [break][break]

“I ain't strong, I don't think.” Not strong enough would have been a more accurate statement, “You see all the folks in there, councilmen and Rocket Beasts an' all'a their gods at their beck an' call? Now that was strong.” [break][break]

But there was more to being strong than just having super-powerful Pokemon, wasn't there? Eddie was struck by a sudden realization and another smile started to form, something tired but genuinely fond, [break][break]

“I'll let ya in on a little secret,” he offered with a conspiratorial lilt to his voice, “I prob'bly wouldn't have made it outta there if it weren't for my cellmate. That guy is strong.” [break][break]

Eddie's tired smile broadened into a grin, [break][break]

“You ever met a kid named Beau Fontaine ? Got real lucky and found myself stuck in the same cell as him. Had it in my head that I was gonna look out for 'im while we were in there, but the truth is, I think he did more'a the lookin' out for me.” [break][break]

And there was a debt there that Eddie could never truly repay. It wasn't about the man's physical prowess or the Mega Swampert at his disposal, but about the respite his kindness offered. The fact that Eddie didn't feel alone, was allowed to feel like he could lean on someone for once, was the thing that really kept him afloat in that place. No matter where their paths took them, Eddie would never forget that, even if Beau might never really understand the magnitude of that gift, [break][break]

“He really helped me keep my shit together when I needed it the most. Had my back when I needed it, made me feel like no matter how rotten things got, we could pull through it all together.” [break][break]

There was a lesson to be learned here, and it was slowly dawning on the older man, [break][break]

“Maybe that's more what bein' strong is about, huh? Standing up ta shit when ya can, leanin' on others when ya can't.”

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Yuina Higashi [break]

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Eddie felt his blood run cold when he recounted the ire directed at the Pecharunt. It wasn't unwarranted, exactly, but Eddie didn't consider himself a particularly vengeful guy himself, [break][break]

“I did,” he acknowledged with a solemn nod, “Folks on both sides were really out for blood, huh?” [break][break]

He pondered that fact for a moment. Power really didn't mean strength, and power in the wrong hands could be absolutely devastating. But Yuina had a good heart, and Eddie tried his best to possess the same; maybe they weren't on the same level as some of the avatars they stood alongside, but maybe they also had something a little more important than god-like strength, [break][break]

“Suppose it's up to folks like us to lead by example.” [break][break]

Another sort of absurd thought, but one Eddie was committed to following through on, [break][break]

“Yanno, show some'a these folks that it doesn't have to be a whole 'eye for an eye' sorta deal. Think some folks prob'bly get a little lost when they're runnin' around with powers like that, but we-” [break][break]

Eddie paused to smile sidelong at his friend, [break][break]

“Oughta show 'em how it's done. Keep fightin' the good fight, keep bein' kind when it's right, even if other folks don't wanna be. And, of course, mete out justice when it's right, too, but only when it's right.” [break][break]

Though as war continued to loom on the horizon, Eddie got the sinking feeling that maintaining that dichotomy would be far easier said than done.

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Yuina Higashi [break]

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Huh, Yuina had a hell of a point there. Eddie suddenly realized that even with this conflict brewing on the horizon, there really were bigger fish to fry out there, [break][break]

“Ya ain't wrong.” [break][break]

But Arceus, if it wasn't so damn frustrating to try and keep the bigger picture in mind when Rocket didn't seem particularly inclined to do the same. This whole fuss probably didn't help any of their chances with whatever else might come for them next, but on the other hand – [break][break]

“But I suppose we'll hafta cross that bridge when we get to it.” [break][break]

Eddie's intent wasn't to be dismissive, but there was little point in worrying about something he had such little agency in, [break][break]

“'Cause you're right; I'm sure somethin' else is gonna rear its ugly head at some point, but we ain't psychic. No way of tellin' if or when it'll come, or what it'll even look like. Figure all we can do is prepare as best we can.” [break][break]

A sudden breeze picked up, and Eddie felt a pang of nostalgia when he noticed the familiar brine of sea salt on the air, [break][break]

“And try to enjoy ourselves while we can. Life ain't worth livin' if we're just spendin' it shakin' in our boots, right?” [break][break]

In all of Eddie's thirty-nine years on this earth, that line of thinking had yet to steer him wrong.

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Yuina Higashi [break]