Her hair was down, having blamed it for her headaches. Her Porygon was playing the radio frequency for Dewford's police department, endless chatter that filled the background and did nothing to distract her. She had an open book on her desk that she hadn't read a word of in hours. There was a stack of papers by her lounging couch when she thought she could be productive sitting somewhere other than her desk. Her whole office was a testament to how she couldn't keep focused. [break][break]

She hadn't slept, but her work couldn't keep her company. Burying her feelings with work had worked so many times in the past but it was unacceptable this time. [break][break]

Restlessness kept her from staying in one place. She rubbed at her bare face, then rose. Maybe she needed a walk. Or a spar. She couldn't get her act together anywhere in her office, so she needed a better environment. The radio played callouts that didn't involve her Deputy, so she left it behind as she approached the door of her office, too self-involved to register anything until she opened the door and saw him. [break][break]

"Oh."

TAGS – Montgomery James [break]

NOTES – [break][break]

She hadn't expected him at all. He had just asked for space. She thought she'd fucked up after asking for how much time he needed, that she had pressed too hard. That worry had gnawed at her. [break][break]

She lets him in, still reeling, and nearly pinches herself to ensure he's real. He came to talk? [break][break]

"Okay." Is this the 'I think we should never see each other again' kind of talk? Why else would he choose to discuss things in person? He struck her as the kind of guy to avoid hard conversations over text. She noted that he wasn't wearing anything she had gifted him. "Make yourself comfortable." She didn't have a script for this - no one had ever driven her as crazy as he had, and she had lost control over her feelings about him long ago. Mossdeep had only proven it.

TAGS – Montgomery James [break]

NOTES – [break][break]

For all she'd expected from him, an apology was at the bottom of the list. Visibly, it stuns her. [break][break]

She couldn't bring herself to sit, so she stood in front of him, holding her arms. There's no script or training or research to help her navigate this conversation. She's never been so vulnerable, and yet, after his apology, she finds her answer stumbling out of her mouth before she can catch it. "I was scared."[break][break]

What the hell was she doing? [break][break]

"I thought I ruined it. My inability to fight that thing back had cost us everything. When you called the ambulance, I knew there was no way to avoid eyes on us. When you were there in the hospital, I thought that sealed our fate. The story was compromised." We were done, she didn't say. I thought this was buried. [break][break]

Of course, then she'd gone and self-sabotaged further by telling him off.

TAGS – Montgomery James [break]

NOTES – [break][break]

His disapproval was clear to see. She understood it. "I can tolerate being alone in a hospital, Montgomery." She was military. She got paid to walk through hell and she did it whenever she was told to. Simple as that. But.[break][break]

But it was nice to see him there when she woke. It was nice to not have to be alone even though she could tolerate. She'd isolated herself from everyone so she wouldn't get distracted in her singular goal of entering an alternate reality through the dream realm. She'd made no meaningful connections, only that that she networked through Rocket. She had lived alone outside of the barracks her entire adult life. She could tolerate it. [break][break]

But she didn't have to. And having a bond worth keeping meant making sacrifices that she had always been unwilling to make. Now, it was easier. Now, it was complicated. "It was not right," she agreed. "I was unfair." Would she be able to resist if the shoe was on the other foot? No, she'd proven otherwise. "I stopped by your hospital room after Sootopolis. I... I am a hypocrite. I snapped at you because I was scared, and that was wrong."

TAGS – Montgomery James [break]

NOTES – [break][break]

Her face warms at his question. She didn't want him to cling to that information, but she'd shared it and consequently, it was his to handle how he chose. She couldn't figure out why she kept handing him ammunition, kept revealing vulnerable spots in her psyche and personal security that were easily abusable. [break][break]

But he continued to never abuse it. To never take what she gave him and use it against her. [break][break]

"You were hurt badly," she explains, not looking him in the eye. "I had to know what the damage was. Gardevoir's distance on the heal pulse was... less than ideal." The equation was complicated, determining how much she could afford to risk in terms of public association with him for the payoff of his safety.

TAGS – Montgomery James [break]

NOTES – [break][break]

She blinked at the instruction. Perhaps it was the exhaustion or how off-rhythm she was with him around, but she did lock it at his insistence. [break][break]

"What is-" and she was pulled into his arms and kissed. Her worries melted away as she pressed against him, unwilling to let him go. That was the problem about him, that she wanted him so much that the second she had even a crumb of him, she needed everything. There was no way to do things by halves when it came to him. [break][break]

This hadn't been the longest break between seeing each other, not by a long shot, but this felt like long overdue relief, like rain after a dry spell. She trailed kisses down his jaw, working her way to his ear to say, "No one is watching." Stay.

TAGS – Montgomery James [break]

NOTES – [break][break]

She huffed, indignant, but she knew he was only prodding her for a reaction. She followed his direction, stepping backwards as he herded her to her chair. "It is hardly exhibition without a viewer," she insisted, hands cupping his face for another kiss. The thrill of it was electric, not just the allegiances they both felt hanging above them but the more immediate danger of being found out. It was so juvenile, and Ameena had spent next to no time in her life experiencing adolescence as it was intended to be experienced. [break][break]

Hell if she wasn't making up for it now, though. [break][break]

For his teasing, she rewarded him with a bite before pulling away from him and letting herself be sat in her chair. "And give me more credit. I will still be well put together."

TAGS – Montgomery James [break]

NOTES – [break][break]