field of vision [mission]

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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field of vision [mission]

POSTED ON Oct 11, 2019 0:36:35 GMT

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[attr="class","unstabland3"]He was a little tired from everything that had happened overnight, and he was not as young as he had been just four or five years ago. His neck hurt and he did not get enough sleep, the tea served to help momentarily assuage his drowsiness. All this and still, it seemed that Stormy was terrified of his leaving. Aramis' eye gently observed his partner, but as always, it seemed that she could not understand him.

"Stormy," He began, understanding full well that this would probably begin a difficult discussion. "I like you, and I want you." He said, as his fork played with his scrambled eggs. "But it seems like everything I do to get past a certain point is met with resistance and fear, shock, or anger. There is no love or joy for me to be with you, I feel like I am security blanket for you in order to put out the fire that is yourself and your past. I feel like my own wants and desires are ultimately second to yours, and I do not feel like I am wanted the same way as I do you."

"If that is the case, let me know now, while I can still be your friend. Or tell me that you want this to work, because I don't think I can handle this much longer."

Stormy Silph

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dandy ♫

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stormy, bronwen

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twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

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Stormy Silph

field of vision [mission]

POSTED ON Oct 11, 2019 2:24:07 GMT

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[attr="class","bodygoldt"]@thermopylae

[break]

He said her name, but this time it didn't bring her comfort - only dread.[break][break]

She can feel the pit in her stomach grow as he speaks, as he twirls his fork through his eggs and makes it abundantly clear what it was he wanted. It was hard to swallow, and she'd stopped picking at her food.[break][break]

In fact, she flinches at his conclusion. But she doesn't flinch because he's being unfair, she does it because he's right. He was her security blanket, a temporary bandaid on the pain she was enduring. She was on fire, burning from the inside out, and she was scared and lonely and in agony. He was the temporary relief and it was unfair.[break][break]

"I've been selfish. You're right, on all fronts, and I'm so sorry."[break][break]

Her voice shakes, but she forces herself to be strong. The woman takes a deep breath as she pushes her plate aside to stand up and come to stand next to him. With one hand, she begs for him to stand next to her - for whatever reason, she feels like she can only speak her mind when she's standing upright.[break][break]

"I like you too, Aramis - I do. I'm just.. I'm just afraid of moving too fast, because I always do. My heart was broken and the wound is still fresh, and it's selfish and unfair of me to put you through my own suffering. I was in love, deeply. This probably isn't something I should say to someone courting me.. but I feel like you deserve to know what's going on with me."[break][break]

Another deep breath.[break][break]

"I proposed to the man I loved, convinced that I knew what was right for us and that I knew what I wanted. He said no and our relationship crumbled as a result - and now he's left the region. He told me he didn't want to hurt me by not being there all the time due to political duties and responsibilities, that I deserved more time and attention than he could give me. But honestly, Aramis? I'm not the type of person who worries about that sort of thing - I don't give up that easily."[break][break]

A few silent tears drift down her cheeks and she wipes them away in frustration.[break][break]

"I want us to work, I really do. But I don't want to get my heart broken again, and I don't want to break yours. I really, really like you."

[break][break]

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field of vision [mission]

POSTED ON Oct 11, 2019 9:18:49 GMT

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[attr="class","unstabland3"]Aramis knew that truth was often ugly and painful, and in this case, he was glad that the both of them were willing to work out their differences in order to make it work. Aramis looked at her expression as he spoke, she was in pain, he knew, from what he had said, but still she was willing to listen. And for that he was grateful.

Aramis listens as she apologizes, and stands up slowly as she stands close to him looking into her eyes, which were slowly beginning to water. As she poured her heart out and her deepest regrets and fears into Aramis, he began to slowly understand more about why she was so apprehensive about him, and why she had the need to take things slow. "And so when something so real was taken from you, the world just feels like shadows dancing on the wall." He replies, smiling sadly.

"I like you too," Aramis replies, whispering, as he gently runs a hand to wipe a tear from her face. His fingers brush against her cheek and run down her hair. "I like you more than you know. That is why it hurts." Aramis responds, chuckling, "Are we just the cosmic playthings of the Gods? Did Arceus create in us such great capacity for love, only for it to be perpetually a tragedy in that we never truly find what we want?" Aramis speaks, asking questions he knows no one has answers to. He looked into her eyes, "Are we all just dancing shadows on the wall, hoping that one day we will be as real as the puppeteer who casts us for his entertainment? Do we always cast away the irreplaceable moments of the now, only for the promise of a beautiful tomorrow, or the curses from the spirits of our past?"

Aramis slowly holds her hand. "No... it is because we carry those burdens and promises that make us appreciate what we have now. And it highlights the parts of our characters that make us more beautiful or monstrous, depending on how we carry them." Aramis pauses momentarily, "So... I ask you to take another leap of faith, for me. And you will ground and solid earth, and vast green pastures as far and wide as the sea." He closes the distance, pressing his lips towards her, one last time, before pulling back with his best smile to hide his pain. "See you at dinner." He whispers, before walking to the door.

Stormy Silph

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castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

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Stormy Silph

field of vision [mission]

POSTED ON Oct 11, 2019 15:07:22 GMT

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[attr="class","bodygoldt"]@thermopylae

[break]

The way he speaks is so beautiful, like poetry. He speaks so softly that she feels she might break, but still she holds fast to her feelings and her thoughts. She needs to speak her mind, she needs him to know just how horribly put back together she is. How close she is to just crumbling.[break][break]

She leans into his warm hand as it caresses her cheek and brushes away her tears. More than anything, she wants his touch, she wants his affection, his presence.[break][break]

And she listens quietly, patiently as he strings his thoughts together, asking questions that she probably doesn't fully understand, but she lets him get his own feelings off of his chest because this is good.[break][break]

It occurs to her that she had, deeply and truly, loved Alexander with everything she had, and it's because of that that she was so broken up and terrified to allow herself to open up again to someone new. And she had seen the betrayal and pain in Laurence Anderson's face when he had kissed her and she'd pushed him away.[break][break]

Love is a fickle and dangerous beast to tease, and it's something she's still unfamiliar with and afraid of. But oh, how she desperately wants to love.[break][break]

His hand slowly holds hers and she squeezes it tightly, worried he might be leaving, worried that she's fucked everything up and he's preparing to leave. [break][break]

Another leap of faith? Stormy opens her mouth to respond, to promise that she'll try, that she'll gladly work through her demons to stand strong beside him, but he's moved in close to kiss her once again.[break][break]

And this time, she kisses him back before he has a chance to pull away and whisper to her that he'll see her at dinner. Her heart feels tender and weak, but she lets him leave because she needs space to think about what's just happened and what was to come next.[break][break]

It was time for the next step in the rest of her life.