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FERNANDO SILPH

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Silence follows.[break][break]

Nothing but silence at first and she swears she could hear her dreams shattering. Everything she thought she was right about, thought she knew... Destroyed in the blink of an eye and she can't do anything but stare, mouth slightly parted.[break][break]

Mr. Silph claps despite his colleagues falling into disappointing silence. The polite thing to do, she knows. He's trying to be kind, right? He couldn't actually believe that was anything close to brilliant. No one does.[break][break]

Her eyes sweep across the room in a panic, darting between the faces. It's a lot to take in, really, and the composure she had at the beginning falters. It threatens to fall to her feet, to shatter across the tiled floor. Illeana struggles to keep it together, straining herself to keep from openly crying before the group.[break][break]

I'm a failure.[break][break]

Mr. Silph speaks, then, and she tries to hide the jolt of surprise, desperately attempting to not act like a spooked animal. Really, she just looks as stupid as she feels and there's no hiding it. Instead, she listens, a slow nod of understanding the only movement she makes. He's offering opposition, a good one at that, and she's simply unsure of how to respond. It's not that she doesn't understand the subject, doesn't understand what he's saying. No, it's simply that she hasn't bounced ideas off another person before. Frankly, she's unprepared in every way.[break][break]

And yet, she tries to explain anyway. Further down into the freshly dug grave for her dreams, perhaps? "Um," she begins, mind struggling to churn out thoughts that aren't self-deprecating. "Yes, it's true that Mega Evolution can prove to be a temporary phenomenon but what if it can provide us with more examples of the changes Pokemon are capable of?" Part of it just sounds made up, an excuse spun to make herself look less ridiculous in this situation. Still, she decides after a moment of silence to press it further, if only to give her ideas a shot at being understood, being taken seriously. "Pokemon are, without a doubt, extraordinary creatures. They change and undergo transformations that are hidden within their DNA just waiting to be unlocked, whether it's through evolution or climate changes. Even without Mega Evolution, the way they evolve to break through their physical limits, to alter their genetic sequences... It's something that deserves to be recognized, to be studied." The woman flushes, pausing to catch her breath. Passion lingers in every word she ushers out into the room, the depths of her interest in this subject bleeding through her sentences.[break][break]

Illeana knows she probably sounds ridiculous, offering no clear opposition to his rebuttal. She's merely talking in circles, floundering about like a fish out of water. It's disappointing and she wants to stop, wants to run from this, run from the failure. Instead she stays, panic rising with each beat of her thundering heart. It's practically drowning out the silence that follows her words, the silence of waiting for a dismissal, an acknowledgement of defeat.[break][break]

And so she stares, that once proud face falling, gaze dropping to her shoes. She can't look at him anymore, can't handle the possibility that his face will confirm that her hopes of becoming a respected scientist are nothing more than a child's fantasy. Instead she'll watch the floor like a child getting scolded, bottom lip wobbling from tears threatening to overflow.[break][break]

notes | hi yes i'm so sorry for the wait ;u; also idek what this post is??? she apparently can't handle criticism srry she's a baby

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truth be told, she doesn't really know what to say anymore. the woman stands at the front of the room, looking like a lost child. unsure, upset, scared. it all flashes across her features in the brief moments that it takes for fernando to begin speaking once more. most of all, she feels failure clawing at her shoulders, threatening to drag her down. her parents would be disgusted if they could see her now. floundering in front of the brightest minds of science and perhaps the most important man in hoenn... it's a disgrace to their family name, their legacy. the reyes pride themselves on being the best of the best, the most intelligent people in the room, the brightest minds of their respective generations. with a single presentation, she managed to completely shatter that very legacy against the shiny floor. how awful.

illeana still can't bring herself to look him in the eye. her gaze stays trained on the floor, even as he begins to speak. she expects him to reprimand her, to bark out harsh laughter and mock her with the rest of the room. and as she listens, it sounds as though he is... yet something compels her to look up. it's quite the difficult task to rip her watery stare away from the oh so interesting floor tiles but she manages, steeling her eyes just a fraction if only to look less pathetic in front of such esteemed people. once she looks up, however, she sees something different than the sneering expression she expected. instead, she finds a welcoming posture and an enthusiasm she hadn't even thought possible after such a trainwreck of a presentation. it's comforting, a kindness used as a lifeboat and the woman scrambles toward the safety of comfort, of people actually believing in her.

she stays silent while he continues, his eyes traveling around the room as if searching for the approval of the rest. surprisingly, they give it to him, nodding solemnly without offering any comments of their own. they give the councilman the floor, subjecting themselves as mere observers while he commands the room with a certain dominance she could never possess. she flushes with a strange mixture of admiration and embarrassment once the man turns back toward her, his words beginning to sound more uplifting and motivational than critical.

she knows better than most of the failures scientists face in their careers. her parents are a testament to that, facing setback after setback on their path toward greatness. it never stopped them, never stopped any of the people in this room. she feels different than them, however... weak, stupid, pathetic. they're brilliant and intelligent, each one having a plethora of award-winning work behind them and what does she have? a failed presentation and plenty of tears. next to them, she's nothing but a little girl who's in over her head. and yet, fernando silph, in the flesh, is trying to motivate her, to pick her pride off the floor and dust it off with gentle hands. it's unexpected kindness from the man who seems to never falter, never stoop to someone like her's level.

and so, with rosy cheeks and a shaky smile, she finally breaks her silence. "thank you," she murmurs. "it's an honor to just be in this room with all of you. i appreciate your time." in an attempt to save face and appear less shaken than she already is, the woman straightens with a slight raise of her chin. put on your best face, illeana. this is when it counts. glancing around the room at the stoic scientists, she speaks once more, voice gaining a little smidgen of confidence as she goes. "i will try my hardest to follow your examples of perseverance and passion."

the question catches her off guard, so much so that she gasps slightly, cheeks deepening in color. truthfully, she hadn't thought that far ahead... she hadn't planned for what to do next once her ideas had failed her. what could she even do next? this had been a failure... wouldn't everything else follow the same trend? could she even be successful? anxiety picks at her skin, her mind. it's heavy, this feeling of uncertainty. the unknown is terrifying and really, what is she without this? without science, is there anything special about her? the woman stays silent for a few moments, eyes falling to the floor in contemplation.

she had one idea but... it's silly. it's unrealistic, foolish, childish, nothing more than a dream. and yet, she feels compelled to tell him. and so, with a soft voice and a meek smile, she glances back toward fernando, her ideas rushing out of her mouth before she can decide that now is not the time for her dreams. "there is one thing i have always been rather interested in," she pauses before hastily adding, "it sounds more like a dream than a goal or anything, though." it really does sound like a dream, something she couldn't possibly ever hope to achieve but maybe, just maybe, this man could point her toward the right path, toward the means to make her dreams a reality. "when i was a young girl, i had read books about a pokemon existing that holds the dna of every single pokemon within its body. it was such an incredible thing to think about and i -- i want to find that pokemon, to study that special dna. it's probably nothing more than a myth but..." she trails off, gaze dropping to the floor yet again. it's difficult to maintain eye contact when speaking of such a thing. "i don't know if i could do anything else besides chase a myth."

FERNANDO SILPH

the room falls into silence around them. it feels as though only fernando and herself are actually present, the rest falling away into blurred faces and empty spaces. they simply observe the blossoming conversation between the councilman and the meek scientist with curious eyes, intent on seeing this through until the very end. it had been a lot to handle at first, struggling under the weight of their gazes, but now she feels more sturdy, more sound. most of this is due to mr. silph and his words. sure, he poked many holes in her presentation but he also encouraged her, picked her up off the floor and made it known that she can do more, can be more. the motivation, the confidence, the reassurance. it all goes a long way with illeana and so, she smiles despite the failure, despite the mess.

it's difficult to keep a brave face on, that much she knows. and yet, it comes naturally, rising to the surface after the kindness she has just been shown. instead of him looking down on her for her ideas, he nurtured her, believed in her. she doesn't know him well, doesn't even know anything about him besides his status, but she knows that in this moment, she is grateful that he is the one at the head of this table. if it had been someone else, would they have shown her such consideration? the kindness he has shown her... will she ever be able to repay him?

he smiles at her, the facial expression laced with something she doesn't understand. it's foreign to her and she's distracted by the nice smile, the powerful words that filter through. do not follow. do not be a sheep in the herd. be greater. it's easier said than done, yes, but if others can break through their own limits, perhaps she could as well. "i won't let you down, sir." she offers her own smile, one that lacks the ambition of his own, but it's pure and honest and unashamed. she will do her best to be someone he's proud of, if only to show him that this entire presentation had not been for nothing. if not, well... she's used to disappointing people, right?

her dream originally started as a childish desire to understand, to make sense of the science before her. the teachings of her parents were cold and full of facts to be memorized but this myth? it wasn't proven, wasn't even considered to be more than a trick of the mind. and yet, it's alluring and comforting, full of promises that evolution and dna holds more than just what one sees with their own eyes. it defies the very things that she barely understands, holding itself above the rest as something of legend. she wants to be the one to find this pokemon, to see the mirage with her own eyes. if she could do that, then perhaps she could do anything, could prove everyone wrong.

how does one chase a myth, however? where does she go from here?

illeana stares as he speaks, enamored and filled with a newfound hope inspired by words alone. he believes in her, believes in the dream she holds close. "you're right," she murmurs, as if no one else could possibly say anything different. "i'll prove that this pokemon is no different than the golems of legend. i promise." she does not break a promise, does not go back on her word. she won't falter under the expectations that he holds for her, for her dream. "it would be an honor to be sponsored by silph co. and i appreciate even being considered worthy of your time," she awkwardly dips her head, deciding against fully bowing before them at the last moment. "thank you for believing in my dream, sir. i'll apply myself as best as i can!"

hopefully, her best will be enough for her dreams to become a reality.

FERNANDO SILPH