"that's not how it works," he responds with a chuckle.

the laughter ends and he is left looking at noah. the stare lasts for a second long before kyle breaks the stagnation with his fingers moving at the bottom of noah's chin, tilting it upwards so their lips meet. contact is left for a few whole seconds before he breaks away.

"i-i'm sorry. it's just that you keep mentioning it, and it looks like you were wanting for it and..."

he starts to get flustered, his hues starting to redden more than what inebriation has done already. kyle looks away for a moment, face contorting to an uncomfortable awkwardness. this wasn't the first time, but the honeymoon phase of his crush still has not ended. the sugar still dyes every honeyed moment.

his throat shows the evident movement from a swallow. the realization that they were alone comes. nervousness fades as he sees noah's features. everything in his head is cleared for a moment.

kyle moves in for a second kiss.

"but i wanna let you know how i feel."

his answer mirrors noah's earlier statement.

kyle stops for a moment. he contemplates on his words. there always was something that keeps on eating him up from the inside whenever noah prompts the question. he wants to say yes, but he cannot, on good conscience, tell noah of his answer until he gets to know the reason why he keeps on holding off.

"noah?" he calls his name.

he suddenly feels hot from a different reason other than their kiss. his heart rate fastens and he gets nervous. he looks at noah meekly, eyeing him carefully as if he knows he's making the wrong decision. playing safe was his game, and this was the opposite of it.

"will you still stay with me forever if..."

there was a moment of hesitation, in case he wants to back out. regardless, he steels himself for what comes next. he survived an awkward situation similar to this once. he tests if he can do it a second time.

"...if i tell you how you won me over easily?"

he feels a lump on his throat. a certain feeling stops him from saying what he was about to say.

"i-i've always wanted to say yes to your favorite question," he prefaces, "but..."

there only was one question that noah kept on repeating almost every day, and every time he does, kyle makes himself vague or shifts the topic to someone else. as someone who takes himself into priority, making it clear was an obvious choice.

then again, priorities change when certain people enter one's life.

kyle shifts his eye to the side, not knowing how the reception was going to end. silently, he hopes he's just thinking too much into it and that noah's cheerful voice would just shrug it off and everything returns to normal. his hand escapes noah's chin as it grips on the sheets on noah's side hard.

eventually, his lips loosen up and he decides to just get it over with.

"...i'm not sure how you'd feel being in a relationship that started with you being a rebound."

he grits his teeth, biting his lip in frustration as he braces for noah's reaction.

everything noah built in kyle's confidence crumbles all of a sudden. his confusion becomes as apparent as noah's. he's uncertain of what to say, but he lets his mouth run, hoping that somehow, the right words will come out.

"i-i don't know. i never had relationships before. i don't know where it starts and where it ends, and i know that's not an excuse and..."

his hand grasp his head as he moves away from noah, sitting at the edge of the bed and giving noah the space that kyle thinks he needs. he crumples himself, leaning forward so that his torso curls into a ball. suddenly, he feels defensive.

in the middle of his moment of weakness, he turns to noah. the temptation to hold him was present, but fear of getting rejected comes over him. if a negative response comes from this, he'd rather not risk letting himself near noah, unsure of what he'll do at the heat of the moment.

"if... if i say no, would you believe it?" kyle wouldn't normally, as skeptical as he is. "c-cause i don't like this feeling... and you're the only one who made me feel this way before..."

being left alone never made kyle tremble before until now.

"y-yeah but it's impossible for me." he sinks his head in between his knees as his legs prop up on the bed's frame. "and i give up easy. you know that. the chance of that happening is gonezo. nada. zilch." kyle starts to mumble with his head buried. "and then you came and made everything feel better. it makes me feel guilty, though, so i'm 'fessing up right now."

the sobbing is heard, and kyle gets his face away from noah because he doesn't want to see him in the same predicament. every emotion noah shows affects kyle, even with or without the influence of alcohol. he starts to sob as well, though he manages to hide them better than noah.

he is ready to bear the brunt of the hatred that comes afterwards, but kyle is quick to point out the illogical things from noah's statement. "why would you still be a fan after this?" he asks, turning around just to see noah's huddled figure.

pain starts to swell in his chest. the sight of his source of energy and good vibes being down hurts him. the reckless nature of inebriation gets him to blurt out the first suggestion that comes to mind.

"i feel horrible and i wanna be held. do you wanna be held too?"

kyle opens his arms for a hug.

despite the ugliness of his watery eyes and runny nose, a glint of joy lightens up his expression with his response to his invitation.

"if you'll still take me after all that, then i'm yours." kyle breaks free from the hug. both of his hands move to each side of noah's face, letting the warmth of his palms do what each of noah's touch do for him. "and you're mine."

the joy on his expression can't be denied.

"i owe you so much, you know that, right?" he returns to hug him with a force rivaling noah's. he wants to hold him closer more than ever, greediness not wanting to let go of the object of his affection. still, he pulls back, if only to see his face. "if there's anyone who has to decide whether our thing should continue, it shouldn't be me."

everything that made things work was noah. the credit to the success of their friendship up to whatever developed from it goes to him. kyle tries to think of his part on it, but regardless, it still majorly skews towards noah's direction.

"noah, are we making this official? i won't hold this against you if you say no. at least, for the first time, you're the heart breaker and not the heart breakee."

despite the cheerful tone and the humor behind his words, kyle's pessimism still bleeds through, wishing for noah to be there to correct him and give him the words of support he always craves for.