MARCH UPDATE

POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 3:27:56 GMT

even with the added weight acting as resistance, viphi has no difficulties navigating through the sky. she feels comfortable as her wings cut through the air, the wind doing little to slow her down. no conversation is initiated from him mostly because it'd be inconvenient to. with the wind whipping in their faces there's not much that can be heard. he closes his eyes every now and then and just enjoys the feeling of being up there.

but as they approach route one-one-four and the terrain starts to become more rocky and rough, his eyes are open and scanning the area. stormy suspects something must have driven the pack of lycanroc towards lavaridge but as he looks across the orange and brown lands, he sees nothing out of the ordinary.

they soon make their landing. he slides off of viphi's back and approaches the cage, though his attention is still spread across the area around them. again, nothing strikes out at him. so he looks to stormy. "i didn't see anything out of the ordinary. maybe they just wandered too far away?" he questions.

Stormy Silph

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POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 3:43:37 GMT

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Dismay is obvious on Stormy's face as she dismounts. Her first step away from Wadjet's side is a heavy one because this isn't right. She had been expecting some sort of obstacle, something that she could fix. All she saw was the norm, nothing out of the ordinary or suspicious. There was no immediate reason for the Lycanroc to have fled.[break][break]

"What.."[break][break]

Her breath leaves her in a whisper as she shakes her head, unfastens the tether from Wadjet so that she wasn't held back. Her impatience and confusion manifests when Alexander speaks, voicing the concerns that she doesn't want to admit herself. He comes up with an excuse but it isn't good enough and she snaps.[break][break]

"They wouldn't just wander, Alex. That's.. that's.."[break][break]

She shakes her head in disbelief, running her fingers through her hair and growing agitated when they get caught in the wind-induced knots. As she tugs them out painfully she tries to relax, to come up with a plan, to do anything but fret. She had to fix this.[break][break]

"I have to find out what's going on. I have to."[break][break]

The Lycanroc appear to be asleep even after the trip and she temporarily forgets about them in favor of more pressing matters. Their source of prey had to be slimming so exponentially that they were desperate enough to travel long distances, to push into farmland and risk their lives.[break][break]

It doesn't occur to her that perhaps the recent changes in Hoenn and the strangely harsh winter has created problems that she can't fix. That this situation is out of her control and there's nothing she can do because there's nothing to be done.[break][break]

"I--"

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POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 15:29:22 GMT

the dismay on her face is immediately recognized because he knows her well enough to predict her reaction to a seemingly normal situation. she's almost in denial as she snaps at his words, biting back with venom. he wishes he could find the words to say to her but he can't. instead, he brings a hand to his belt and calls out his gallade.

"can you please scout the area, galahad? see if anything's off or troubling." and with that simple order, the gallade nods and teleports away.

agitation builds with every passing second in the unknown. he approaches her with a veil of caution, still mindful of their current situation. "there is a strong possibility that nothing is wrong." his eyes drift off to the sleeping lycanrocs in the cage. he lingers on them for moments before looking back to her.

"sometimes things are just out of our control."

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TAG WITH @stormy

POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 15:45:09 GMT

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Alexander retrieves Galahad, ordering him to scout the area. Deep down, she knows it's a fools errand, that he'll come back with nothing. Perhaps that's why she feels so angry.[break][break]

Her own thoughts become so loud that she doesn't hear the man approach her, but she hears the words he speaks. Once again he sets himself up as the voice of reason, but she isn't looking for it. [break][break]

"That is an excuse." [break][break]

The response is flat and empty because there was more she wanted to say but it doesn't come out. She's still trying to make sense of the situation, trying to come up with some rhyme or reason that the Lycanroc would have abandoned their home.[break][break]

"Things are never out of our control - there's always.. there's always a way."[break][break]

It grows apparent that she isn't really talking about the current situation anymore, that there's something else on her mind.[break][break]

"I have to fix this because if I don't, no one else will. This time, I can change things, I can make it right."

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POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 16:20:55 GMT

"maybe."

he rests his back against the steel cage that's now warm from the sun. he crosses his arms as his eyes drift down to look at nothing. they drift off as he listens. he understands why she feels so strongly about it. to train so hard and for so long only to come up short right at the end, to lose control to a situation you could never have predicted. it hurts. he understands.

"maybe there's nothing to fix."

the sounds of snoring from inside the cage do little to distract him. more seconds pass and a small part of him is hoping he's proven wrong. he hopes galahad comes back and proves her right. he hopes.

"some things will always be out of our control, stormy, and that's okay."

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TAG WITH @stormy

POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 16:32:28 GMT

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As a way to distract herself or ground herself, she focuses on breathing in the sweet smells of grass, feeling the breeze on her face. The sun is out and it's warm, and, for a moment, it's enough to melt away some of her anxiety. But only for a moment because Galahad hasn't returned and that fact makes her skin crawl.[break][break]

She had been desperately looking for something to fix. Praying on the fact that there was another predator in the area accosting the Lycanroc pack, something much bigger and scarier than they were. But none of those things were present, here. The area seemed normal.[break][break]

And then he says something that forces an involuntary reaction from her because he's voicing her deepest fears. Shining a light on what scares her the most.[break][break]

"No, it's not okay. Why would that ever be okay? People get hurt when things are out of our control. These Lycanroc are starving because of something out of their control. And you think that that's okay?"[break][break]

Wadjet rumbles as Stormy's voice rises, picking up on the deep-seated anger coming off of her trainer. Stormy's voice is thick with grief as she comes to an end, which is odd considering she has no personal connection to the wild Lycanroc.

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POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 16:54:12 GMT

"no, i don't."

he knows it's scary, he knows, but please bear with him. it's only scary because it has been locked up in the darkness and repressed for too long. shed some light on it. expose it. accept it. because doing so would mean taking away its power.

"but i have to be okay."

wadjet rumbles and they both understand the deep-seated anger bubbling off of her trainer. but there is a hidden meaning behind her words, one that he interprets with no issues. it's not only anger but it's grief. it's regret. it's guilt. he shouldn't pry but he does.

"but this isn't just about them, is it?"

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POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 17:08:14 GMT

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Stormy's breath catches in her throat, an attempt to steel herself from breaking. Her composure starts to chip away and the scared young woman underneath the surface comes undone. This isn't about them at all, it never had been. Nothing she had ever really done was for the right reasons because she had been fighting for something else. Battling an invisible war.[break][break]

Her voice is a whisper as she shakes her head. He might be okay but she couldn't say the same.[break][break]

"But I'm not."[break][break]

And then Alexander pulls back the covers, unties the ribbon that's been holding her together. He asks a question she isn't ready for and probably never would be. [break][break]

"It's not... it's not about them."[break][break]

It had been well over a year since her parents had died, since her life had changed. It wasn't unreasonable for the grieving process to continue but Stormy's pride and her desperation to fight it had prevented her from truly accepting what had happened.

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POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 17:19:10 GMT

grief is powerful. it can be volatile and dangerous and it can change a person forever. he knows it because he's felt it. he's lived through it. grief tore his heart into two and left it up to him to try and stitch it back together. so when he finally realizes the true reason to stormy's anger, he is reminded of his own internal struggles.

"it wasn't your fault."

Stormy Silph

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POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 17:25:24 GMT

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Somehow, someway, Stormy doesn't cry. Not even when her hands ball into fists so tight her knuckles turn white and her nails bite into flesh. Not even when Alexander continues to watch her and his expression is so impossible that she feels like she might fall apart.[break][break]

"I wasn't there. I was angry and I ran away and I wasn't there to protect them when they needed me. I didn't get to apologize, I didn't get to say goodbye. I am never going to be able to see them again because I was weak."[break][break]

Her voice wobbles and she keeps her voice at a near whisper, forcing herself to bite through the pain of admitting these things. She hadn't told anyone about this - not really. No one had ever cared.

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POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 17:40:39 GMT

he wants to tell her to stop blaming herself, wants to tell her that none of it was her fault. but he knows she won't listen. he's been where she is and knows of the pain she feels. he still feels it, too.

"i wasn't there for my father."

he's suddenly uncomfortable and he feels a lump in his throat. he swallows it and wills himself to speak. she's opened herself up to him, and now it's his turn to do the same.

"they only went after him because of me. i could've protected him. i would've given my life for him. but i wasn't there. he needed me the most and i wasn't there." he breathes, voice cracking. "i wasn't there."

a stray tear falls and he raises a hand to wipe it away. he blinks. "i learned then that not everything can be controlled." he pauses.

"i've had to accept that his death wasn't my fault. you have to do the same, too. eventually."

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POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 17:49:04 GMT

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Stormy is pulled from her spiral of grief and self-loathing when he brings up his father. The pit in her stomach causes the world to fall away because she realizes, then, how selfish she's being. She hadn't forgotten but she hadn't really been there for him. Her own problems had been more important.[break][break]

He opens up to her as she had and she feels a tear roll down her cheek when his composure cracks. A tear falls down his cheek and she's shocked because she's never seen him cry.[break][break]

"Alex..."[break][break]

Her feet feel impossibly heavy but she takes a small step toward him, unsure if it's the right decision. [break][break]

"I'm sorry."

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POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 18:12:49 GMT

he realizes then that he's never said it out loud before. everything has been internalized, kept to himself and repressed for months, and saying it now in front of a person he knows truly cares for him, it's not as bad as he had imagined it. he glances up when she takes a small step forward. but he says nothing. he just smiles and nods in her direction, grateful.

space and time distorts in front of him and suddenly galahad reappears out of his teleport. he looks to his trainer and shakes his head, though he immediately senses the situation. alexander starts to feel this strange sensation weighing in his heart. a feeling. it takes him a moment to understand it but he smiles when he does.

it's compassion.

words aren't needed between them. he offers galahad a nod of gratitude before he recalls him back into his pokeball. he looks to stormy again, voice still soft.

"he sensed nothing unusual. i'm sorry."

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POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 18:28:16 GMT

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Stormy's advance comes to a halt because she's afraid. Instead of continuing forward and seeking his comfort she reclines on her heels and grounds herself. There was still a rift between them despite the moment they had just shared.[break][break]

She takes a step back as Galahad reappears between them but she knows before Alex even speaks that he's found nothing. There was nothing to be found because Stormy can't fix everything. She can't fix the increase in human interference that has almost certainly lead to a decline in wildlife surrounding Fallarbor. Tourists visiting the mountains had probably played a part as well.[break][break]

The Lycanroc are out of her control.[break][break]

Stormy sighs, looking at her feet and then to the side as disappointment plays on her face. She wipes the tears off of her cheeks and pulls her hair back as a way to destress. It doesn't work.[break][break]

"What are we going to do?"[break][break]

She realizes there's two meanings to her question as she looks back to her feet.

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POSTED ON Apr 28, 2020 18:36:49 GMT

there are two meanings to her question and he takes the easier one first. he looks back to the cage and ponders on it for moments before speaking.

"you could start a sanctuary. there are more pokemon like them out there who might need your help." it'll cost resources but it's one of the better and only options. the other option won't sit well with her. "or you could just leave them. you did your job."

the second meaning of her question is trickier. their interaction today proves that she's willing to listen, and that she's willing to learn and to possibly grow. but a doubt still lingers, a doubt that was birthed from her words in his apartment. she has never asked him to change, so is it still fair for him to expect her to?

"i don't know."