it excited him in a weird way. that ruslan was interested in knowing about him... before... on one had really cared about his past. his childhood. anything like that. and while he still had the desire to be treated as nothing more than a pet this conversation wasn't unwelcome in the slightest. "i did, but my parents didn't find my advancement sufficient so it was taken out of my routine." as many of the things were that he enjoyed.

but that didn't matter now. "glide, don't walk. lifting your skates will cause you to lose balance." he slid forward. "i'll hold you tight, don't worry." he pulled lana forward gently, not wanting to rush him.

---

ruslan skye

taking ruslan ice skating had been a spur of the moment sort of date idea. it was a public place, one that ruslan would probably feel comfortable in. and it was a new experience. something he had promised lana he would have. he'd not needed to rent skates for the event, having his own and not particularly wanting to wear some that had come off of someone else's feet. no matter how well they said they sanitized them.

if lana enjoyed the experience then he would have to buy him a pair of skates as well. so that neither of them would have to deal with the rental situation. but that wasn't something to think about for now. "years, i learned as a child." it wasn't something he had done in awhile but it was something someone never really forgot how to do. muscle memory and all that.

he offered his hand to lana when he was laced up and ready to go. after all, he didn't want him to fall and hurt himself.

---

ruslan skye

finally. things were settled just as they needed to be. he had gotten what he wanted and what he needed out of it all. and that was what was important to him. everything else was just secondary.

"good, i'll have it written up then and we will both sign it."

he took it as a verbal contract for now. it had been agreed to and that meant that he could relax. the tension in his body releasing some as he felt himself feel better about the whole situation.

---

ruslan skye

it was confusing having to explain what he wanted. after all he had just wanted to put down a contract where ruslan was happy with staying here. everything else was secondary. even the requests he had put into motion were secondary. so long as lana stayed here.

"to be frank, i don't care about anything except for you being here."

he wanted to have him around. why wasn't that enough to build a contract off of.

"everything else is secondary."

he sipped on the coffee he had made, wincing because it was already slightly cold and still far too bitter for his taste. but he couldn't bring himself to move from the table now to refresh it or sweeten it more.

---

ruslan skye

he felt himself nearly get red when lana mentioned sex. that was one of the furthest things from his mind. he'd never thought about having sex with lana. it was so far off the radar that it almost caught him off guard. but he wasn't going to bother with entertaining that fact right now. instead he focused his energy and attention on other things. "occasionally. if you would like to do so. no." he wasn't going to force anyone into anything. but he did feel as though holding hands occasionally wouldn't be the worst thing. or perhaps a small kiss.

"though i won't force you at any time to do any of it." he would just simply have to deal with whatever handouts he got. that's how it was before after all.

---

ruslan skye

so lana did remember the latter part of the dream. his obsession at least seemed to be casted off as something... lustful... rather than the fact that he was mentally ill. and probably needed therapy. but he didn't really care about that right now. that was easier to work around contract wise. "a sugar daddy isn't someone's boss. the contract is to protect uncomfortable situations from arising." just because he gave lana money didn't mean he was employed.

"i'm not asking you to do anything like that." at least that much was true. he wouldn't ask that of him. especially not with how badly it seemed to freak him out. "companionship. i don't do well being alone all the time." and while pokemon might be a companion in a sense it wasn't the same. "you'll have access to a spending account for whatever you need. a card provided by me instead of just giving you money. you'll have full run of the apartment, i have a spare bedroom as well. you're not required or expected to sleep in my bed."

he was talking too much at once but it was easier to just lay things out and let lana digest them as he would.

---

ruslan skye

he didn't want lana to leave monday either. or any other day. at least not to stay in more pokecenters or arceus knew where else. he wanted him to come back to the apartment. to stay. "stay. even past then." they had talked about the contract at the party. before that dream mist had managed to take it all over. now was a good a time as any to get it down wasn't it? lock it all down so that they could just keep things the way he liked it.

"the contract still needs to be done. and i want you to stay here, as part of it." lana's hand on his concreted that in his mind. "what is the point of you going from pokecenter to pokecenter when you could just stay here? you'll have food, a clean place to sleep and whatever else you need." he wanted to keep it simple but he was willing to put whatever he needed on the line.

---

ruslan skye

the idea that lana thought he wanted him to leave was ridiculous. he'd never said anything like that. or acted like that in any capacity. more than anything he wanted lana to say. he would have thought the second part of his dream last night would have made that obvious. but maybe lana didn't remember that part.

"no." he gently grabbed ruslan's wrist to hold it. one of the few times he had touched him with any real intent. it was an internal struggle to grab him tight and keep him there eternally. but he thought he had a good grasp on himself.

his body shook now lightly for a different reason. but he was still breathing. still breathing was good. single drawn breaths that kept him from tipping over the mental edge again as he stared at lana. "i don't want you to leave." but he knew that lana might anyways. even as he tried to quell the small edge of desperation in his voice.

---

ruslan skye

feeling lana reassure him felt good. it felt nice. it felt like he was safe again. even though he was the one trying to reassure ruslan instead. he was supposed to be the strong one. "i was nothing to him." he took another drag of the cigarette before pressing the rest of it out on the stone tabletop. he didn't need to smoke the entire thing. just enough to get himself even.

"nothing more than a pet to be used when he wanted and needed." and he had vowed never to be that again. but yet here he was. "...are you going to leave now?" he needed to know if he was going to go. he needed to prepare himself. he needed to figure out what he was going to do. how he would handle it. hopefully the rejection wouldn't hit that deep.

---

ruslan skye

he looked away and carefully dipped into one of the robe's pockets. pulling out cigarettes he normally kept only for emergencies. something that this was and wasn't all at the same time. he felt stressed. cornered. he wanted to run or attack or anything. fight or flight was a bitch to keep under control when you were mentally ill. it was why he had been doing his best to keep lana happy.

he lit the cigarette and took a long drag of it, exhaling out his nose. the smoke burning nicely. "he was my husband. a time ago. i'd slept in due to not feeling well and didn't go to work. he brought home a coworker to sleep with in our bed." his voice was even, but the hand that held the cigarette shook lightly as he spoke. it had been a long time since he'd unpacked all of this. and never since he'd told someone.

"i didn't want you to see that side of me. but desperate times called for desperate measures." he probably could have gotten away without choking his ex to death. but he didn't have any regrets. other than lana seeing him. he didn't want to unpack the rest of the dream.

---

ruslan skye

carefully he spooned some more eggs onto ruslan's plate and a few pieces of toast. knowing that he was still hungry. he was always hungry wasn't he. "you want to know the full of it don't you?" and that meant the uncomfortable parts and all.

the zorua was tired of the conversation and having finished it's food hopped down from the chair, running over to the couch to play with one of the pillows instead. victor didn't stop him. if things got out of hand then kadabra or xatu could watch over him. it was like having live in babysitters. at least when zorua got like this.

he prodded at his measly pile of eggs that remained, shoving the rest of them in his mouth and swallowing reluctantly. it would be a few days before his appetite came back but he at least needed to make a show of being normal. it was all he could do.

---

ruslan skye

he sat down himself with a plate. also hungry from the nights events. though he was a little bit reluctant to eat. thinking of his ex left a bitter taste in his mouth that breakfast couldn't get rid of. "we never had children. talked about it. but never actually got around to it." the zorua knew that. and on some level probably chose this illusion to create some peace for victor. he'd thought a lot about having children with his ex. adopting them. not, having them. but now it was far better off that they hadn't.

taking a couple bites he gently wiped off the zorua's hands before letting it go back to eating. if it was going to pretend to be a human it needed to eat like one as well. with fork and knife. "are you going to want more?" he'd made plenty for them all. not knowing how this morning would go.

---

ruslan skye

gently he set down a plate of food at the table for ruslan to have whenever he was ready. eggs and toast were basic but after a night like that it was better to eat something easy on the stomach. "it was a strange party." and not one he ever wanted to repeat. if he wanted to live with nightmares like that every night he would just go to sleep without his pills. "i'm not sure. i think there was some sort of gas..." it was all he could remember leading up to the events. but he also knew what lana wanted to talk about. what he was leading up to.

he wanted to know the truth about what the entire nightmare meant.

"if you want to talk, eat first. you're starving." and he knew that would give him a little bit of time to gather his thoughts about what to say. and how to say it. the zorua stuck it's tongue out at the dusclops, almost lifting up some of the food to toss at him before victor whistled, and down on the plate the food went. "also, that's not an actual child. my zorua just likes to pretend it's human." hopefully dispelling more confusion.

---

ruslan skye