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"Yeah, I do." Even as the words left his mouth, he felt a sense of wonder. Shinra was a man of skepticism. He didn't believe anything unless he could see it with his own two eyes. He didn't care, under normal circumstances, to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. Then again, Blue was not just anyone. She was someone. She'd snuck her way into his life, and not even subtly. She'd done so with two middle fingers to the air. Unapologetic and mean. He liked that about her.
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He liked this version of her too though, but it frightened him. She was soft and vulnerable. Admittedly, he was terrified that he would break her on all of his sharp edges and blunt ends. Anything he said right then could inflict damage on its own.
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We'd have to go. Something ached right then, sharp in the chest like a serrated blade. What did that mean? We, who? Her friend or him? As much as he hated it, he couldn't help the bite of toxicity that followed. Jealousy, that wasn't an unusual feeling for him but never in relation to a person before. Had she been with this person all that time? Twenty years, he was still trying to wrap his head around what that meant. How had she changed during that time? It was a long time. Yet she was still there, reaching out to him.
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"What do you mean? Go where?" Was he allowed to follow? Could he even? He didn't ask those questions aloud and he didn't dare answer them. "No, you're fine. That doesn't matter." He swept his hand through her hair, bare hand. He didn't shiver, the contact didn't burn or make him flinch. It almost felt natural. "Of course, you can."


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---

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Shinra Moro // m: post-goodbye galar

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It wasn't like Blue to bend under comfort. She was far more the person to break herself in attempt to flee from it. They were alike in that, only Shinra firmly believed himself incapable of responding or appreciating such softness. It had never affected him before, so how could this possibly change things? Well blue murtagh changed things. She changed everything. To a point that it was frankly terrifying.
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Shinra frowned at that, still not understanding. How could she possibly have gone for so long? He assumed she was being hyperbolic. It wouldn't be the first time, especially in expressing her irritation. Though this was not that, clearly. She did not expose her vulnerability with such ease or grace. It hardly came natural for either of them, which meant this had to be painful for her.
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"Yeah," He whispered, running fingers through her hair as she continued to cling to him. "But... I believe you, okay?" It wasn't said with complete certainty because he couldn't fathom that reality. He understood that clearly it was painful for her regardless of his ability to understand it.
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He smiled at that, with softness he wasn't familiar with. "Yeah, it's me."
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Rocket. It wasn't as if he had no idea. It was easy to discern that Blue was in rocket. He'd known the first time he met her, which had devolved into an attempt to prove it. He had been planning, at the time, to arrest her. Things hadn't worked out that way, obviously.
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That failure should have reflected on him with severity, it always did, but he didn't care about that. Not anymore. "Okay, you don't have to. You can be whoever you want to be, Blue. Just tell me how I can help."

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Shinra Moro // m: post-goodbye galar

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The panic he felt right then was rivaled only by a venomous temper that he hadn't felt in a long time. Not since Kanto. Even then, that fury felt pale in comparison to the one stoked at the thought that something was horribly wrong. That something terrible had happened to Blue to make her behave this way. It wasn't like her to be like this. Things had changed between them, of course, the last time they'd been together. He'd be lying to say he hadn't been anxious all week, fearing that he'd ruined things by being so forward.
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Yet, right then, her prior silence was loud. He'd been sitting around fretting over her lack of response and something clearly wrong had occurred in his absence. "Blue, what happened?" He didn't like his tone, the nakedness of his own fear. It was abnormal, but nothing about their relationship was normal to him. "Blue—" His voice lightened, growing softer as he tried to coax the truth out of her. He didn't try to pry her away or pull answers from her. Instead, he simply held her.
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Yet, he'd not been expecting that. "Years? What are you talking about?" Okay, so he was confused. She had said years, right? She sounded so broken that he felt helpless, like he couldn't help her with whatever she was experiencing. "Hey, hey... it's okay. I understand. It's no big deal. I mean I was wondering, but it's only been like a week so..."
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Shinra felt clueless, but let her hold him anyways. The wetness seeped into his clothing, damp on his skin. He ran his fingers through stringy wet hair, pushing it out of her eyes. It was such blatant affection that he wasn't sure where it came from, but with Blue, it felt natural. It felt immediate and instinctual, like the something he had been missing all his life. "I missed you too."

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Shinra Moro // m: post-goodbye galar

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How selfish. He smiled at that sentiment. It was so entirely Blue, of course. Normally, he never would have crossed this boundary. He wasn't sure what the hell had gotten into him. Yet, he felt happy. That was this feeling, right?
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Would it be so bad? To let go of that fine-tuned control?
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Maybe it was his silence that prompted her to pull away, but the distance felt monumental. What he wanted to do was draw her back, tell her not to go. Be selfish. To question everything he'd believed in about himself. This wasn't possible for him and it was foolish to beg for more out of life. He was unfeeling, cold, cruel. It had been a sentiment that followed him his whole life. Who was Blue to challenge that? She was something else, someone special. She was terrifying, but not for the reasons she wanted to be.
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"Okay," He smiled, forced that shared eye contact to break as he looked down to the ground. To the meal set out that was now cold. When he looked back up, her eyes were still searching his out. That connection was hungry, demanding. He couldn't look away, not again. Only to watch Blue nearly topple over a chair in her effort to get away. It was awkward and cute, it was weirdly her. Even if he'd never seen this side of her before.
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"Yeah, I'm counting on it." His smile lacked every cold edge, there was no reason behind it. There was no aloof analysis to it all. This was something else.

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blue murtagh // m: bond bridge

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Things had been quiet, but not in a way he usually preferred. Maybe he was being a bit neurotic. Wait— no maybe, he was definitely being neurotic. However, Blue was volatile and finicky at the best of times. She hadn't replied to him. Not to mention leaving in such a hurry. Before, he'd figured she'd ran out of coyness, but now he wasn't so certain. Shinra had never been eager to see anyone. Usually, his presence was a bad omen.
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Still, he hadn't expected her to be silent. Not even a gruff "kay" or "whatever", silence was even worse somehow. Blue wasn't silent even when she was mad. She couldn't help but make her irritation known, so this wasn't natural. He didn't know when he'd grown so self-conscious, but it was eating him alive. Not that it had been a lot of time, but it was enough to reconcile the many questions flitting around his head lately. Only to have it double over and rot with self-contempt and insecurity. He was a lot more dramatic about this than he thought he'd be.
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He hadn't heard the bang on the door at first, it was only half processed as he peeked around the corner of the couch to look at the front door. With a sigh, he shut the book he was reading with a defined clap. If it was one more door-to-door salesman, he'd snap their neck and make it look like an accident.
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"Look, I'm not—" He started as he opened the door, not anticipating the body that slammed into him and knocked him backwards. The sound of her voice was immediately recognizable, but the noise she made was not. The panic was uncomfortable, constricting up inside of him.
"Blue? What happened? Are you okay?"


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Shinra Moro // m: post-goodbye galar

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Woah. That little muttered word. That little laugh, so careless for someone so guarded. Suddenly, he realized he was dealing with a far different version of Blue. This was the version of her that he could actually hurt, maybe even break if he weren't careful. Shinra was rarely ever careful in matters of the heart. Many times in the past, he'd broken people just for the fun of it. So how could he ever be trusted to handle someone's heart in this way? It felt like a threat lying just under the surface.
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Yet it had to mean something, right? All of this. The way his skin buzzed and the heat that burned under the surface. The little subtle flickers of "what if?" that lingered there. It cultivated into something he didn't really recognize. What are you doing? The little sensible voice in the back of his head said with such clarity that it nearly caught him off guard. He felt like he'd been caught in the act of doing something wrong and, for once, he actually cared. He cared.
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That was a problem.
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She rested on his shoulder and he felt himself only melt further. This was nice though, so it couldn't be wrong. Maybe this was exactly what he'd been waiting on, for years now. All this time waiting for something or someone that mattered to him. Now, when he had that someone, he faltered.
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That’s okay. With you anyway, I guess. She trusted him, and Blue didn't trust anyone.
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"I'm not sure I deserve that." He sighed, hands running through her hair. "But it makes me happy."

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blue murtagh // m: bond bridge

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It felt intimate, more than that, vulnerable. The very thing that neither of them seemed particularly skilled at. Blue was a bloodied lip and bruised eyes, she was sharp knuckles and a wicked temper. Meanwhile, Shinra was cold, hollow, deathly. Nothing happened that wasn't according to plan, his plan. This was not according to plan though. This was something else. It felt like he was dangling over a precipice and was, at that moment, oh so tempted to let go. Yet, it was frightening.
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Blue was soft and awkward and entirely unlike herself (or the version of her that he knew too well). To abandon her in that moment out of fear, that would be too cruel. It would also be so contrary to what he wanted to do. It was why his hand moved up, slipping through her hair to brace the back of her head. His mouth fitted solidly into hers, aligned in a way that deepened the kiss. It relaxed some, less awkward and more natural. Still, it wasn't like either of them knew what to do with it.
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Whether or not this whole thing frightened her, he couldn't tell. She felt as drawn to it as he was. Even more so, she felt lighter. The aggression seemed to slip away and he was surprised to find that she was far softer than he expected her to be. Blue had always seemed so strong, but maybe she was more delicate than he at first assumed.
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She retreated away from him and then they were staring back at one another. A little breathless, entirely fixated. He felt warmer, like the ice had melted. This was unnatural. He smiled and it was soft, not the same severe and threatening smile that usually lingered on his lips. "That's okay, I'm not exactly an expert either." He laughed softly. True, he'd made do with what he had, but he'd never bothered to feel anything in the process.
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"Little scary, huh?"

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blue murtagh // m: bond bridge

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They moved with the carefulness of two frightened animals, backed into a corner and expecting the other to bite first. Maybe it was ridiculous to be driven by fear like this, to touch with such care, but they'd both known pain before. This fear was not misguided, but a by-product of experience in pain. Granted, their experiences were different and he hated whoever had made someone as fierce as Blue hesitate under comfort.
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When she finally responded to him, he couldn't help the sigh that escaped or the way he felt himself notably relax. He hadn't even realized that his breath was held all that time. Careful fingers slipped up to cup his jaw and his own finally moved until they had settled on her back. The gloves muffled the contact of skin on fabric, but he didn't yet try to remove them. Not yet. He wasn't even sure what she wanted from this. Did she truly want it at all?
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A little silly of a thought considering what they were doing, but he couldn't help his over-thinking. Still, his hands pulled her closer. His mouth remained awkwardly soft, pressing to hers a little more solidly.
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Little did he realize what this meant, the extent of his life that had gone by without realizing how much he needed this contact. Still, he waited for the illusion to break and to find himself either wanting or predictably hollow again.


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blue murtagh // m: bond bridge

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At any moment, Shinra anticipated a hard shove. He expected a slew of hissed curses. Blue went tense, unmoving and unresponsive. A part of him panicked, not knowing what to do or where to go from there. His mind raced to come up with excuses or responses that might justify why he’d do something like this.
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What he didn’t do though was feel any kind of disgust. Maybe he didn’t give himself the second to process the contact. Maybe it was soon to come when the panic subsided or she retaliated in some way. Touch, was such a foreign concept for him. It slipped across his skin like needles, curdled in his stomach like sour milk. Yet, right then, he felt soft and warm beyond the panic of not knowing what to do with this.
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Eventually, he pulled away from her, eyes darting down to the way fingers had wrinkled up the front of his shirt. Not pushing him away, but pulling. Then his gaze returned to hers, ice blue to fiery red. Maybe the fear was palpable there, or maybe he pulled off the attempt to seem like he was composed as per usual.
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”Shinra… Do that again.”
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He hesitated only for a moment. Are you sure, he wanted to pry, but he didn’t want to know the answer. It was a selfish drive that pushed him forward then. His mouth pressed against hers once more, fitted there like it was meant to be. It felt more natural this time, less afraid. Less frosty. For a moment, he pondered over the thought that struck him entirely: This must be what it feels like. Feeling anything at all. It was nice. More than nice.




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blue murtagh // m: bond bridge

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“You remember who it is you’re talking to, right?" It was true, he probably didn't need to apologize to Blue of all people. She was brash and said things just as sharply. She was a blunt fist and jagged glass, all sharp edges that didn't know how to do anything but bite down. "Yeah, I do. That doesn't matter though, doesn't make it right." Maybe that was just how Blue was used to things, but he didn't want to be standard at best.
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Her face was red, making her eyes even more vibrant. It was a little intoxicating, though he'd had nothing to drink. It would have been a lot easier if he'd been drunk. Obviously, as shown in the bar, he'd been so much better at this. However, there was really no time or justification for spinning around and marching to the liquor cabinet.
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“I missed you too much.” Admittedly, he'd not been expecting those words. It might have showed in the way his brows darted upwards, clear confusion on his face. It was still hard to understand why anyone might miss someone like him, unfeeling and cold and uncaring. Did she really know anything about him? He knew about her, she was like an open book, even if she tried to hide it. Even the ugly parts of her were beautiful.
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Blue stood up abruptly, the sound forcing him into motion until he was standing as well. Then they were silent, standing there not knowing where to go. He'd never felt fear before, not real fear. This must be the closest thing. Even then, he knew what he wanted to do. For once, maybe ever, he didn't push impulse away. It would be easy to embrace stoicism and pretend to be unmoving and icy as always. Not with Blue, though. She was that weakpoint in the ice where it cracked under pressure.
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Despite himself, despite every needling feeling that usually kept him from such contact, he couldn't help himself. He leaned down, swallowing up the extensive space that lived between them, separated by more than just height. Before he could allow his body or mind to think about what he should or shouldn't want, his mouth crashed into hers.
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It was probably an awkward motion, stuttered and blocky, even if he forced every stony ounce of stiffness out of his body like it wasn't welcome there. Even if it was a poor and untrained excuse for softness, he wanted to at least try before she inevitably knocked him flat on his ass.



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blue murtagh // m: bond bridge

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Not long ago, he was investigating Blue. If he'd done his job, she might have been paying the repercussions of her crimes somewhere, but he hadn't. He'd overlooked what she did and that wasn't like him. She forced him to change and that did not come naturally to Shinra. His lips worked into a little smile at the blatant color on her face. It matched the ruby-red of her eyes, making them brighter.
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No one had ever dared him to question his principles. So rigid and stalwart in his beliefs, yet she did so, so easily. It nearly made him question what he did believe in. He didn't really know anymore. What he did know was that Blue was far too important to him to risk losing. Even if he had been quick to do so out in the silent icelands. Her smile right then was breath-taking, making him feel more than a little dizzy with a feeling he couldn't name. Where the hell had she come from?
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He paused, looking down. "I looked for you at the rings, but you weren't there." Why should she be? She could do as she wished. Was she hiding from him? He couldn't blame her if she had been. "What I said... in the icelands, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
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Did it even matter anymore? Clearly, she was there, which meant she didn't hate him completely at least. Though it still felt like he had to say it. If he didn't, then he wouldn't forgive himself. It was no longer easy for him to get over things. This wasn't the sort of feeling he could just cover up, right?
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"I fucked up."


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blue murtagh // m: bond bridge

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“I just wanted to… see you.”
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Shinra sat there for a moment in stunned silence, unsure how he could possibly follow that up. He had heard her correctly, right? What he wanted to ask her was "why?". After everything he'd said, she owed him nothing and certainly had every right in the world to hate him. He'd not been good to her the last time they met. Reikon was playing with one of his toys, it had a little bell with an incessant sound, but he didn't try to halt the oblivious vulpine's play.
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It was just them, the silence of the room except for the tinkling of that damned toy, and then those bright red eyes lifting to face him again. There was no way to hide from what he was feeling. It was a feeling though. It was as real and raw as he had ever felt it before. It ached in a way so different from any past experiences, which had been aching simply for the loss of feeling but never for the sake of it. What had she done to him?
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"I didn't expect you to... even if you didn't, I couldn't blame you. I shouldn't have said..." He shook his head, blue eyes dropping with a beleaguered sigh. He'd spent most of his life using language to manipulate feelings out of people, completely immune to it himself.
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"I didn't expect to see you again. I've missed you."



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blue murtagh // m: bond bridge

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