MARCH UPDATE

POSTED ON Apr 22, 2024 8:45:29 GMT

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the MATIAS SILPH she knows returns with a click of his tongue. it should spark irritation in her as it normally does, but the familiarity of it stands so starkly against the gentle acquaintance laying in front of her. [break][break]"it doesn't work, matias," she repeats, her voice somber with resignation. she's tried. and she's tried again, as he suggests. it's only ever made her feel less connected to herself. "i'm just not that girl anymore."

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matias

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POSTED ON Apr 23, 2024 4:43:25 GMT

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in the past, he would have stood his ground and argued until the other side conceded even if said concession wasn't actionable or genuine. he argued for the sake of it, too prideful and arrogant to take no for an answer.

now, he nods, recognizing the somberness in her voice.

"i get it."

he shrugs.

"fuck it, then. be whoever or whatever you want to be. i'll be there either way."

[attr="class","retiredsilphtag"]annalise henderson

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anna, annie

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july 4

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i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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POSTED ON Apr 23, 2024 5:42:42 GMT

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[attr="class","mango annal"]

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"i want to be me," she admits, her mind oscillating confusingly between desire and resignation. "the old me." [break][break]she desperately wants to be normal, to be herself again, but bottling up the abnormality of her circumstances just makes her explode eventually. it's simpler to give up, but some surviving part of her wants to keep living. [break][break]"but every time i try to just be myself or — or try to enjoy myself, all i can think about is what happened. it never stops." [break][break]being vulnerable with MATIAS SILPH feels different than being vulnerable with june sleigh . she slides off the edge of his bed, made restless, and picks the balled up napkin off the floor. it disappears into the plastic bag. she hovers near the chair, waiting for an excuse to bolt.

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matias

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POSTED ON Apr 23, 2024 7:31:13 GMT

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"i don't think that'll ever stop."

nor will she be the old her ever again. but this is a realization she has to come to herself, the most he can do is provide guidance and be patient.

his eyes follow her as she hovers near the chair. not wanting her to leave yet, a question lodges itself into the door, acting as a stopper.

"have i ever told you about the war in kanto?"

he laughs, genuine.

"i sound old as fuck asking that. like a war veteran with nothing better to talk about. but, yeah, have i?"

[attr="class","retiredsilphtag"]annalise henderson

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POSTED ON Apr 23, 2024 8:02:34 GMT

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the desire to run away is a coiled spring in her chest, tightening unbearably each time she's faced with some uncomfortable feeling. she feels it now, as MATIAS SILPH tells her he doesn't think she'll ever stop.[break][break]but then, before she can think of an excuse to leave, he asks her another question. it distracts her, loosens the coil just enough to keep it from releasing. she blinks, then says:[break][break] "you are old as fuck."[break][break] her body language becomes less stiff, shedding the tension by teasing him. [break][break] "but no, i don't think so? besides your pooping-in-holes story, at least."[break][break]she stays beside the chair, a silent invitation for him to tell her.

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matias

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POSTED ON Apr 23, 2024 8:47:12 GMT

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as tension uncoils itself from her shoulders and posture, he eases up the same, having subconsciously mirrored her.

"that was a fucking good story, admit it."

they will have to cover additional poop stories later for there are many.

"the war was…rough, to say the least. it caught many off guard when it shouldn't have." though the same happened in hoenn, he knows now his indifference to sootopolis would not have mattered in the bigger picture. "i was a little over twenty when it first started. around the same age as you, i believe."

damn, he is old.

"and, like you, i was also once their prisoner."

[attr="class","retiredsilphtag"]annalise henderson

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POSTED ON Apr 24, 2024 2:17:15 GMT

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"i won't." it's the gentlest disagreement they've had, marked by the slight, unserious quirk of her mouth as she rejects the idea.[break][break] "because it wasn't."[break][break]she lapses into silence as MATIAS SILPH begins to talk about kanto. compelled by what sounds like an introduction to a much longer story, she sits down in the chair and just lets him speak. [break][break]he gives her another kernel of his history, one that makes her pale a little, breath stilled in her throat. it's incomprehensible to imagine a younger matias in her place, but she doesn't see anything in his face that could make her believe he's being dishonest.[break][break]carefully, she asks, "what happened?"

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matias

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thirty-two

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POSTED ON Apr 24, 2024 5:50:35 GMT

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less carefully, he answers.

"we were camped a bit outside vermillion, stationed there to ensure a supply run goes smoothly, which rocket must have known about as they ambushed us in the middle of the night."

there's nothing quite like waking up surrounded by utter chaos; the immediate panic, dread, and adrenaline that struck him felt visceral.

"we fought and fought and fought to no avail. we were outnumbered and outgunned, so we surrendered."

he was forced to surrender by his allies; a fact he chooses not to voice as it would only drag up unresolved anger.

"i was their prisoner for over a month before we were rescued. we started with thirty, then sixteen, then four. know why they kept me alive?"

[attr="class","retiredsilphtag"]annalise henderson

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POSTED ON Apr 24, 2024 7:01:49 GMT

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annalise has tasted war, but not the way MATIAS SILPH has. skirmishes as a ranger are fewer and farther between, not as exhaustingly visceral as sitting in a trench outside of a city. she frowns, taking in the story like a sponge, imagining the scene he paints for her. [break][break]have you ever stopped fighting? she studies his face, wondering how he feels about trading a traditional war for one with multiple heads. [break][break]word by word, the number of prisoners collapse. she plays the part of a good listener, her soft inquiry filling the silent gaps between the beats of his story. [break][break]"why?"

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matias

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thirty-two

november 14th

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POSTED ON Apr 24, 2024 7:10:13 GMT

[attr="class","retiredsilphbg"]

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"because i never accepted being their prisoner."

he might have been forced to surrender but the desire to fight lived on within him, showing behind his gaze, the way he held himself, and in the way he clawed and struggled just so he could live to fight another day.

vengeance is a powerful motivator; it drove him; it drives him now; and it drives her, too.

"so they punished me for it. they made me suffer while they killed my friends, my allies, and they took their sweet fucking time to do so."

he scoffs.

"but, like me, they got cocky. eventually, they ran out of time."

[attr="class","retiredsilphtag"]annalise henderson

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anna, annie

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POSTED ON Apr 24, 2024 7:46:59 GMT

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his experience sounds far removed from what she had experienced. she sits there and focuses on his voice, ignoring the compulsive want to reach into her own memories, to sift and compare the fragments against his own, to accidentally cut herself on them. MATIAS SILPH is trying to relate to her, she thinks, but it's beginning to feel like a lesson in restraint. [break][break]"did someone come for you?" she tips her head to the side ever so slightly. "or did you break yourself out?"

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played by

noodles

matias

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thirty-two

november 14th

saffron

straight...unless?

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i'll try to find you in mountains made of ash and clouds of smoke.

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POSTED ON Apr 24, 2024 7:55:46 GMT

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"you kidding? i was too fucking weak then to break myself out. if i'd been strong enough, we wouldn't even have been there to begin with. but that's on me."

since then, he has done everything to ensure that he never returns to that same position ever again. he sought power and control, using his desire for vengeance as the groundwork to become who he is today.

"later, i managed to find the rocket admin who ran that shit. i remember eva telling me not to stoop to their level. to be good even in the face of pure evil. i said fuck it! bye-bye, you admin fucker!"

his lips curl into a grin at the satisfaction he feels even now, years later.

"so, what's the moral of the story here?"

[attr="class","retiredsilphtag"]annalise henderson

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anna, annie

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POSTED ON Apr 24, 2024 8:46:17 GMT

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Eva Morales has always been good. annalise used to be good, or at least that's how she remembers herself through the lens of before and after. she remembers being sympathetic to the rockets Isaac Merlo used to invent for her, to the former rockets fleeing an organization that would kill them if they stopped running for an instant. [break][break]but she aligns herself with the satisfaction in MATIAS SILPH 's smile now. she thought this story was going meander into some advice about healing from her trauma, but instead he validates her in the worst, indulgent ways. [break][break]"i should get stronger."[break][break]she bites the inside of her cheek. she's not sure she's ever formed her lips around the thought that's been rolling around in her head since she was first dumped in that cell. [break][break]"and get them back, like you did."

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matias

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