razz's appointment

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

new

close tab

played by

King

he/him

May 24

Sootopolis City

Uninterested

Rocket Grunt

---

5'10 height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

3,729 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @razz

Raziel Beckett

razz's appointment

POSTED ON Jan 28, 2021 1:22:07 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","razzboxbl"]

Simple the professor says, yet Razz can’t help but feel like it was anything but. Leave it to a professor to say a lot of words but not give him a straight answer of ‘yes any secrets will be kept, or no it will be exposed’[break][break]

All he wanted was some sort of security as the man didn’t know the full story behind everything. He had plenty to hide that he didn’t want shared but couldn’t make the decision as to whether or not the memory he forgot was something worth that secret being loose over. It was all stressing, especially that day he woke up with only pain and the close on his back. [break][break]

He looks up from the desk as Zenji mentions part of the reason he was willing to do this was for Salem. A thought that caught him off guard and made him think of the stress the cat went through when he got home and both his Meowstic were worried over his injuries and wanted answers for what happened. It made him happy that they weren’t there, but he didn’t think much of what seeing him like that put him through.[break][break]

“Okay umm….” he attempts to start as he leans forward with shaky hands being put on his knees. Though this did force Salem off his lap which may have been a bad thing as the cat’s purring was what was keeping him from panicking. Maybe it was some unconscious way of him rejecting the help or to set himself up for failure who knew? He was going to make an attempt though. [break][break]

“M-my father and his Py-p-pyroar,” he started with the story to brace the Professor of what he may see if they did this whole Hypno thing. Already his voice was shaking and Salem tried to interrupt but for now Razz tried to dismiss him. He was looking down as if to prevent any judging looks, and maybe avoid showing the way his good eye started to water as he attempted to continue. “We were… talking about m-my future and we a-a-argued, and.. and.. And…” he was stuttering now as his breathing was beginning to quicken as if his lungs were struggling to breath now. “It escalated very b-badly… I… he.. We f-fought… f-first with fist.. Then the then with pokemon...” [break][break]

There were hitches in his voice now as he was clearly struggling. As it was talking about this was hard enough despite two years having gone by. But now with some force that made the memory so fresh it was like everything was still burning once more. Before Razz could continue Salem yelped to get his attention before the pokemon scolded him. After looking to the professor as he shook his head to communicate that this couldn’t continue. “S-sorry…. I don’t… I don’t think I can continue this…” he finally admits hating himself for getting so far without even being able to hit the finish line.

[break][break]

+ zenji jabami

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

[attr="class","credit"]milky

[newclass=.razzboxbl]font:11px roboto;--accent:#3E7E96;[/newclass]

[newclass=.razzboxbl b]color:var(--accent);[/newclass]
[newclass=.razzboxbl i]color:#fff;[/newclass]
[newclass=.razzboxbl a]text-transform:uppercase; font-weight:bold[/newclass]
[newclass=.razzboxbl .pokesprite]color:#32a852; background:rgba(0,0,0,0.1);border:1px solid rgba(0,0,0,0.2); margin-right:10px; margin-top:5px; padding:5px; filter:grayscale(90%); transition:0.5s all;[/newclass]
[newclass=.razzboxbl .pkspr:hover]background:rgba(0,0,0,0.2); filter:none; transition:0.5s all;[/newclass]
[newclass=.razzboxbl .pokeclass]text-align:right; width:520px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.razzboxbl .pokeclass img]background:#2b2b2b;border-radius:100px; border:1px solid #solid 1px #232323; border:1px solid #232323; margin-top:-30px; padding-top:6px; padding-bottom:12px; transition:1.5s; margin-left:8px; box-shadow:2px 2px transparent;[/newclass]
[newclass=.razzboxbl .pokeclass img:hover]background:var(--accent); transition:1s all; box-shadow:2px 2px #232323 [/newclass]
[newclass=.razzboxbl]position:relative;[/newclass]
[newclass=.razzboxbl .credit]font:bold 15px poppins; transform:rotate(90deg); position:absolute; bottom:55px; right:45px; color:rgb(65,65,65); text-shadow: -1px -1px 0 #232323, 1px -1px 0 #232323, -1px 1px 0 #232323, 1px 1px 0 #232323;[/newclass]

close tab

played by

light

professor zen

he/him

june 20th

hoenn region

demisexual

researcher

sergeant

85 height

seek out the truth.

awards

193 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @zenji

zenji jabami

razz's appointment

POSTED ON Feb 8, 2021 19:38:20 GMT

[attr="class","light"]everyone has a past. there is no one on this planet who doesn't. everyone has a secret that they needed to keep. everyone possessed a trigger.

a small gaze shifted toward the meowstic and then back onto razz. lucario, who was still about, would come to be shot a look by zenji. it didn't take much for the aura pokemon to understand that Raziel Beckett's stress levels were practically off the charts. quickly the aura pokemon would make their way, silently, behind him.

with a paw, untouching, remained a simple inch away from Raziel Beckett's back. it would come to manipulate the aura wave that emanated fear and anxiety. lucario began to weave and manipulate razz's aurafield in order to emanate a calm and tranquil feeling.

simultaneously, while standing from his chair, zenji would come to make his way around the desk. kneeling to an eye-level with Raziel Beckett, a hand was placed upon his shoulder. "you don't have to do anything that's too painful to confront at this time," zenji said with assurance. "this discussion can remain on hold for now, clearly you're not ready, and you may never be," zenji stated bluntly, "but that's okay, kingsman. our past is sometimes meant to remain just that--a past."

note: Raziel Beckett

[newclass=.light]text-align: justify;font-family:calibri;font-size:14px; margin: 0 auto; width: 300px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.light b]color: #dea02c[/newclass]

close tab

played by

King

he/him

May 24

Sootopolis City

Uninterested

Rocket Grunt

---

5'10 height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

3,729 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @razz

Raziel Beckett

razz's appointment

POSTED ON Feb 17, 2021 11:05:56 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","razzboxbl"]

Razz was hating himself for his decision. He wanted so badly to know what the hell happened in that missing down, try to get over that god damn hill that was his past. Though in the end he was feeling nothing but anxiety and now struggling with his breathing as he was trying to prevent a full on attack to hit. Thankfully the other's Lucario knew how to manipulate his aura or something and for a bit he found himself calming down some. [break][break]

Though in the end what was the point of even telling the man as it was clear he wasn't able to get through talking about it. Let alone let the other into his head to reveal the possible. He was a god damn idiot because now he's overshared and he got shit out of it. Unless he wants to count all this hitting him in the worst of ways. The aura pokemon may be doing what it could to help keep his feelings tranquil but his thoughts didn't seem to want to stop with putting himself down. At least until the professor ended up in front of him making the young Ranger pause to look up at him. Razz hating the feeling of vulnerability this all left open for him as he tried to take in the older man's words. [break][break]

"Yeah I guess not..." Razz replies clearly defeated and exhausted at this loss. "Maybe it should just be left there, but how can it stay there when every time I look in the mirror I see the result of it?" he can't help but question. Razz doesn't expect the older man to have an answer as much as he wished for one. "Sorry for wasting your time, I can leave now if you'd like," he offers as already it seems he would be approving Salem. And there was too much of a mental block for them to try and look in the memory loss issue.

[break][break]

+ zenji jabami

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

[attr="class","credit"]milky

close tab

played by

light

professor zen

he/him

june 20th

hoenn region

demisexual

researcher

sergeant

85 height

seek out the truth.

awards

193 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @zenji

zenji jabami

razz's appointment

POSTED ON Apr 1, 2021 18:50:00 GMT

[attr="class","light"]he had no answer for him.

"that's something only you can find the answer to, kingsman." for now that was the end of that. there wasn't much else the pair needed to discuss. he wished there was more he could do for razz. but zenji had to face reality that he was no miracle worker. "try not to be too hard on yourself, kingsman. i can tell that you're an exceptional trainer, and are doing just fine." a half-smile given, zenji would add, "the past is called the past for a reason, don't let it be something that defines you."

with his closing statement given. he'd come to place a hand upon the youth's shoulder, "i'm here if you ever need something or someone to talk to."

note: Raziel Beckett

[newclass=.light]text-align: justify;font-family:calibri;font-size:14px; margin: 0 auto; width: 300px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.light b]color: #dea02c[/newclass]

close tab

played by

King

he/him

May 24

Sootopolis City

Uninterested

Rocket Grunt

---

5'10 height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

3,729 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @razz

Raziel Beckett

razz's appointment

POSTED ON Apr 6, 2021 12:26:53 GMT

zenji jabami likes this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","razzboxbl"]

Of course he had no answers. No one ever had answers and Razz never really figured out how to properly look into it. Best he ever gets is just online suggestions and because he doesn't know better. Not that any of it really helped. The young man couldn't help but tense up like he was guilty when asked not to judge himself too harshly, too late for that as his mind was already on a spiraling downward tangent of his incompetency. He wants to comment on the whole past thing because in his point of view it is what molded him into what he was today, and it was the guilt from everything put him on the path he was now. So how was it not a defining factor?[break][break]

"I'll... try," he finally mutters his emotions too raw to want to continue this further. Talking about what happened, even if the details were vague at best has made him a wreck, and even with both the Lucario and Salem there to help his stress everything just felt heavy. Especially the weight of the professor's hand on his shoulder offering himself to be an ear to listen too and it hurt. Razz can't help but feel like there would be an extreme weight he could finally remove if he could just talk. [break][break]

But he just wasn't ready, so for now he uses a hand to rub his good eye because he had something caught in it. No it wasn't watery shut up. "T-thank you... I'll think about it, and thank you in general as... I know I just came in to have Salem renewed so you didn't have to... for anything else..." he comments before he gets up nodding his head in thanks before he would leave Salem for the actual examination. Deciding to wait in the waiting room to get Salem's renewed license.

[break][break]

+ zenji jabami