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5’8” height

you caged me and then you called me crazy; i am what i am 'cause you trained me.

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TAG WITH @illeana

POSTED ON Apr 2, 2021 21:24:50 GMT

SPIRAL likes this

[attr="class","illie"]
[attr="class","illie b"]
[attr="class","illie i"]back to the beginning of the end. back to ruins and death, blood and war. she comes alone, pokemon surprisingly missing from her company. it's purposeful, really. face your fears and face them alone. no one can help you, no one can save you.

did she even want to be saved anyway? is there anything left of the old self to recover?

no, she decides with a firm step, there's not.

it's an odd place to summon an old friend, to discuss lack of communication and the passage of time. and yet, it's a fitting place. where what was once lost could be found... if only the same could be said of tapu lele. she tries, each attempt futile, to restore the bond, to call to the deity.

instead of scales, all she gets in return are dial tones.

she'll tap a foot as she waits, as she looks to the horizon for the sun to appear on the back of a charizard. she's not positive if a charizard will actually come but she expects to catch sight of stormy soon. and when she does, she breaks into an almost wary smile.

"hey," she murmurs. it's awkward, uncomfortable, everything a friend is after they disappear off the face of the earth for months only to appear again with a new hair color.

good ol' mental breakdowns, huh?

Stormy Silph

[newclass=.illie] text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 12px; [/newclass]

[newclass=.illie b] color: #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]

[newclass=.illie i] text-decoration: underline dotted #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]

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played by

castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

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TAG WITH @stormy

POSTED ON Apr 2, 2021 22:30:13 GMT

illeana reyes likes this

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meteor falls

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if you could only see the beast

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you've made of me

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Even now, Meteor Falls gives her the creeps. She feels a sense of dread as Wadjet's shadow falls over the craters. The area had been nearly in ruins before - but it looked even worse now. Rain had swept away the blood and the bile, but the stench remained in her memories. [break][break]

And therein lies the ghost of the war, a familiar face that felt blurred now. Where once she recognized dark hair and bright eyes, she sees the opposite. She sees a woman ravaged by war and holding on by her fingertips.[break][break]

It's been a long time, and no time at all. Wadjet huffs as they land, wings spread. The tatters of her skin stretched over her wings are rough and scarred. She seems old beyond her years, another casualty of war.[break][break]

"Hey."[break][break]

Stormy's own expression is conflicted, searching Illeana's face for frailty despite the smile the woman bears. She is captured by the blonde hair, the renewed confidence that felt.. hollow- or perhaps that was just her own worries reflected back at her. There is a note of jealousy in the twinge of her gut. Illie looked more alive in ways that Stormy had yet to understand.[break][break]

"You look good, Illie."[break][break]

[break]

notes: ...

[attr=class,ooc-notes]

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wadjet / female / blaze / dragon claw, dragon dance, fire punch, blast burn, shadow claw, protect

illeana reyes

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punki

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[newclass=".punkianger-stcredit a"]font: inherit;[/newclass]

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played by

nikki

illie, sap sipper

she/her

september 23rd

snowpoint city, sinnoh

bi curious

geneticist

head professor

5’8” height

you caged me and then you called me crazy; i am what i am 'cause you trained me.

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4,110 posts

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TAG WITH @illeana

POSTED ON Apr 4, 2021 17:34:12 GMT

SPIRAL and Stormy Silph like this

[attr="class","illie"]
[attr="class","illie b"]
[attr="class","illie i"]tension laces and weaves through the body, the surroundings, the exchanges. she can feel it knotted in her back, persistent and unyielding despite her attempts to roll shoulders and relax. meteor falls keeps her on edge, that sensation of dread so close to creeping in. it leaves her mouth bitter, sad, angry.

she takes a step forward, closer to the friend she has longed to see. there's hesitation in her, bleeding through actions and expressions. her smile turns unsure. "hi," she murmurs again, as if all she can do right now is pleasantries. anything more and she'll crumble into dust. unsettling, really, but expected.

heat rises to the skin of her cheeks, leaving a flushed touch in its wake. the compliment hits it's mark, propelled there by unresolved feelings and memories she thought had disappeared. it leaves her feeling more alive than she had believed possible. as if fueled by the fire stormy carries, fueled by her own body heat. and where there is life, there is hunger.

"thank you," she murmurs, a hand rising to run through blonde hair and leaving it tousled. "you look great as always." an unsure smile bleeds into something more, something sultry. a habit, a defense mechanism, a lifeline. deflecting and avoiding as best she can, sticking to passion and desire in the place of heightened emotions and inner turmoil. it's easier to put on a show, she's realized, than give in to the ruins of the mind.

illeana steps closer, then, as if she's ready to pick back up where they left off. there's space between them, distance not easily overcome just by hopping on a plane and returning. it won't be that easy, that simple. it never was.

"i missed you," she whispers and the last of space drips away as she shifts to pull stormy into an embrace. her grip is tight, needy, holding on for dear life. cling to what you love, to what you have. keep it safe, protected, whole, alive. stormy's heartbeat quells her if only for a little while.

Stormy Silph

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played by

castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

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TAG WITH @stormy

POSTED ON Apr 5, 2021 4:49:06 GMT

[nospaces][googlefont=Open+Sans:400,700,700i|Oswald:300,600]

[attr=class,punkianger-st]

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[attr=class,image]

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meteor falls

[attr=class,lyric1]
if you could only see the beast

[attr=class,lyric2]
you've made of me

[attr=class,bulk]
Stormy's attention diverts briefly to the woman's flushed cheeks, to the way her hand rises to brush hair from her cheek. It helps to dissolve the tension between them if only for a moment. [break][break]

When Illeana turns the compliment around on her, Stormy glances down at her own appearance, tugging at her loose shirt. It falls slack against her sides and her fingertips brush over her pants. Her movements are listless, automatic.[break][break]

"Thank you, you're sweet."[break][break]

Before she lifts her gaze back from her clothing, however, Illeana steps forward. It catches the woman by surprise if only because the physical touch is unexpected. One hand and then another wraps around to pull her close. The woman's chin bumps against Illeana's shoulder awkwardly and her hands rise not long after. They hover, however, before finding a place to land.[break][break]

And she breathes out, her breath warm against Illie's neck and shoulder. Her fingers slide up the woman's back slowly, tightening when emotion bubbles to the surface. Illie's whispered words only reach her now, as if trapped in limbo and unable to reach the surface in time.[break][break]

"I missed you too."[break][break]

Her voice grows thick with emotion, the lump in her throat too big that she can't swallow. It stings her eyes and she holds tighter, warmth spreading across her skin, making her fingertips tingle.[break][break]

[break]

notes: ...

[attr=class,ooc-notes]

[attr=class,tagline]

illeana reyes

[attr=class,punkianger-stcredit]
punki

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i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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Deleted

POSTED ON Apr 5, 2021 20:49:42 GMT

illeana reyes likes this

[newclass=.rndBG]--rndColor:#c199a7[/newclass]

[nospaces]

[attr="class","rndBG"]

[attr="class","rndHead"]

[attr="class","lnr lnr-bubble"]

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SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!

[attr="class","rndHeadA"]

[attr="class","rndIMG"]

[attr="class","rndText"]
THE EASTER LOPUNNY HAS ARRIVED! from its basket of eggs and gifts, it grants you the following item:[break]

[break]
(ooc: you do not need to engage with the lopunny icly).[break][break]

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played by

nikki

illie, sap sipper

she/her

september 23rd

snowpoint city, sinnoh

bi curious

geneticist

head professor

5’8” height

you caged me and then you called me crazy; i am what i am 'cause you trained me.

awards

4,110 posts

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part of

TAG WITH @illeana

POSTED ON Apr 19, 2021 11:24:06 GMT

SPIRAL likes this

[attr="class","illie"]
[attr="class","illie b"]
[attr="class","illie i"]"you deserve sweetness, you know," she murmurs. it's soft, existing in a mild uncertainty that she can't stand. there's tension between them now, enough for her to choke, and she's trying in vain to put everything to how it once was.

there is no going back, though. not after war, not after loss, not after abandonment. that much she knows, understands, despises.

the black holes left in her from this very place have eaten too much matter for her to tell anymore. she's both illeana and not, half herself and half someone else. it's difficult to exactly tell where that leaves their relationship now. lines blurring and disappearing, bridges slowly burning in the dead of night, in the confines of a room. the cycle comes full circle once more.

her grip on stormy's waist tightens for a moment when her chin bumps and rests, when her hands find their place at her sides and run up. the touch leaves her greedy, as if she can keep another person from leaving her if her grip is tight enough. she can't but fuck, if she won't try her hardest.

"how've you been..?" it's breathed into the woman's neck, hesitant to pull away. between the memories, the warmth, the grief, she finds herself holding on tighter. unwilling to let stormy slip through her fingers, unwilling to allow time to continue to erode their bond. her breathing is shaky, emotions she swore she'd keep tucked away bubbling up in the form of tears lining eyes. beneath stormy's hold, her body trembles and she's struggling to maintain past the breaking point.

eventually, once emotion subsides and she's not seconds from tears, she unfurls herself from stormy to place what feels like little distance between them. how could she know it'd leave more?

Stormy Silph

[newclass=.illie] text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 12px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illie b] color: #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illie i] text-decoration: underline dotted #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]

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played by

castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

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TAG WITH @stormy

POSTED ON Apr 19, 2021 14:29:57 GMT

MATIAS SILPH likes this

[nospaces][googlefont=Open+Sans:400,700,700i|Oswald:300,600]

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meteor falls

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if you could only see the beast

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you've made of me

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Do I?[break][break]

Those words are left unspoken, but they hang in the air between them, contaminating the air like something rotten. Her self-loathing and self-doubt twists like a knife to her gut, painful and impossible to ignore. But she tries to, anyway.[break][break]

It isn't Illeana that draws out these feelings, though. It is merely their shared experiences. Stormy puts no blame on the woman in front of her for leaving, for putting up a wall between herself and the pain. If anything, she's envious that she hadn't had the sense to do the same.[break][break]

Fingers slide up the length of her waist, however, and it spurs buried emotion and reaction from the woman. Her lips part to exhale a quiet gasp, taken by surprise by the familiarity and the longing that she felt. It burned in her chest the closer Illeana got. Instinctively, Stormy finds herself clinging back.[break][break]

The warmth from Illeana's breath brushes her neck as the woman speaks, another reminder of a night spent beneath the stars. A night that felt so far away now, all of a sudden.[break][break]

"I'm.. tired."[break][break]

Stormy sighs, unsure what else to say or how else to describe what it was that she had been. To whine, to complain, to give a voice to the worries and the stress and the tears she'd shed since. the end of the three day war felt selfish. To sum it up in one word was easier, even if it didn't account for anything at all.[break][break]

Her hands slide away as Illie steps back, and it was only then that she realized the trembling she'd felt hadn't been her own, it had been Illie's.[break][break]

"I'm sorry, Illie."[break][break]

And just like that, tears well up in her eyes that she can't predict or stop. All at once, grief rises to the surface, choking her until she breaks. Seeing the woman in front of her had brought back a surge of rawness, of pain and grief and anguish that she had been burying for months. [break][break]

"I'm sorry, I couldn't save him. I should have been there."[break][break]

It should have been me.[break][break]

[break]

notes: ...

[attr=class,ooc-notes]

[attr=class,tagline]

illeana reyes

[attr=class,punkianger-stcredit]
punki

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played by

nikki

illie, sap sipper

she/her

september 23rd

snowpoint city, sinnoh

bi curious

geneticist

head professor

5’8” height

you caged me and then you called me crazy; i am what i am 'cause you trained me.

awards

4,110 posts

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part of

TAG WITH @illeana

POSTED ON Apr 20, 2021 4:52:51 GMT

SPIRAL likes this

[attr="class","illie"]
[attr="class","illie b"]
[attr="class","illie i"]tired. a shared emotion heavy on the shoulders of both women. weighing and weighing until their heads are dragged down beneath water. it's almost as crushing as grief, as sorrow, as rage. she feels each emotion at once, mixing and morphing until she's not sure what emotions lay beneath the surface. there's longing in there, a desire for something out of reach, laid in the past beneath stars for them to possibly never find again.

the thought has her stomach lurching into her throat. she swallows as if gasping for air, shallow and shaky.

distance keeps her rooted in place, then, as an apology is breathed between them. it catches her off guard and there's nowhere for her to run. it's just her, stormy, and the ruins of war. her mouth opens then closes as if words get stuck in her throat. tears begin to form once more and for once, she doesn't bother to blink them away. they bubble up and run in ragged patterns down her cheeks.

fuck.

"i," it comes out strangled, halfway between a soft sob and a choked word. she stops, breathes, and tries again. a hand rises to furiously wipe at her eyes and it does nothing to erase every single feeling in her chest. "why?"

understanding comes with the next sentiment and sadness morphs into anger she hasn't wanted to entertain. anger with herself, with those involved in the war, with those fucking aliens, with him. it threatens to consume and burn, almost like her own fire.

"no," comes tumbling out before she can stop it, blurted between them and left to hang in the air. her hand falls, wet with salty tears, and it clenches into a fist at her side. "you couldn't have saved him."

her eyes fall to the floor, shifting between stormy and the past. memories come in the form of a movie trailer. what ifs plague her, poison her, kill her. her shoulders are trembling by the time she looks up, face twisting into a pained scowl.

"i have -- had healing powers and for what? so i could do nothing while he died?" it's snarled in a rage that's uncharacteristic of illeana reyes. a hatred for what happened, for what she couldn't do, for who she couldn't save. it leaves her hollow. "i could have done something if i was there. i could -- i could have healed him."

and as much as she wishes she could turn back time, she can't.

instead, she's left with what ifs and the haunting presence of his ghost. it's hard to not be bitter, to not resent those she did save. her other fellow avatars escaped with their lives thanks to her previous avatar powers while alexander stone perished and god, she'll live with that realization for the rest of her life.

Stormy Silph

[newclass=.illie] text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 12px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illie b] color: #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illie i] text-decoration: underline dotted #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]

close tab

played by

castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

awards

3,978 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @stormy

POSTED ON Apr 23, 2021 20:06:19 GMT

[nospaces][googlefont=Open+Sans:400,700,700i|Oswald:300,600]

[attr=class,punkianger-st]

[attr=class,absolute-holder]

[attr=class,image-back accentbg]

[attr=class,image]

[attr=class,line1]

[attr=class,line2]

[attr=class,wordcount]
meteor falls

[attr=class,lyric1]
if you could only see the beast

[attr=class,lyric2]
you've made of me

[attr=class,bulk]
Pain wells up and like a dam, it breaks the moment Illeana's voice trembles. Stormy's apology spills along with her tears and by the end of it she is sobbing. It's embarrassing, or it should be, and yet she cannot find the strength to stop. Her chest burns with every breath. Tears leave stains against her cheeks and leave her a puffy, ugly, blotchy mess.[break][break]

And Illie's denial, refusal of her apology only manages to sting more. She isn't able to follow the woman's eyes as they drop, but she does detect the way her fist clenches. Is she angry? She should be.[break][break]

But instead of anger, Illeana's words speak only mutual pain. There is rage, yes, but it isn't directed at her. Even still, it doesn't make her feel any better. Rather, it makes it worse.[break][break]

"I almost lost you too."[break][break]

At some point in the confusion of the war, between the fear and the pain and the conflict, Illeana had disappeared from her line of sight. She'd been forced to move on without her, to hope for the best. They hadn't until much later, and the panic had been unbearable.[break][break]

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you, too."[break][break]

She was selfish, wasn't she? Thinking only of herself. She wasn't the only one who had lost Alexander. He had been her's, too.[break][break]

[break]

notes: ...

[attr=class,ooc-notes]

[attr=class,tagline]

illeana reyes

[attr=class,punkianger-stcredit]
punki

close tab

played by

nikki

illie, sap sipper

she/her

september 23rd

snowpoint city, sinnoh

bi curious

geneticist

head professor

5’8” height

you caged me and then you called me crazy; i am what i am 'cause you trained me.

awards

4,110 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @illeana