MARCH UPDATE

POSTED ON Jul 14, 2021 5:05:22 GMT

No. He was just worried; but they would always have each other, right? She’d promised him countless times. She was here, now. She wouldn’t leave him again.

Her head shook, and offered a smile she thought might be reassuring.

“Maybe; but I’ve made so many. What’s one more?”

She squeezed his hand, momentarily unable to keep a grin from her face.

’I…’

“I love you. So much. I always have.”

MATIAS SILPH

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matias

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POSTED ON Jul 14, 2021 5:51:01 GMT

[attr="class","matias"]"sage..."

his hand stills under her touch, unwilling to pull away. with a pained sigh, he whispers:

"i'm with someone else."

but it's more than that.

i don't love you.

at least not in the way she wants him to.

[attr="class","noodles"]sagira mosse

[newclass=.matias] text-align: justify; font-size: 12px; } .matias b { color: #d5ad40; font-size: 13px; } .matias u { color: #b5b5b5; font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline dotted #d5ad40; font-size: 13px; } .matias a { font-family: inherit; font-size: medium; font-weight: bold; text-transform: uppercase; } .matias .noodles { margin: 0; padding: 5px 0; } .matias .noodles img { max-width: 100%; max-height: 100%; border: none; outline: none; margin: 0; padding: 0; display: inline; float: none; } .matias .noodles .pkmn { display: inline; } .matias .noodles .inactive { filter: grayscale(1); -webkit-filter: grayscale(1); [/newclass]

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mad

sage

she/her

twenty-eight

march 14th

pewter city, kanto

demisexual

retired soldier

ex lieutenant

52 height

the whispers in the trees are getting near

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POSTED ON Jul 14, 2021 6:34:20 GMT

jayden cross likes this

Her stare hung, and time stopped. It took her with it, dragging towards abyss she’d known, but rarely looked towards. She willed herself not to acknowledge it. Turn away. Don’t look down.

But it stared at her this time. It had stood up to her level, and it shook her.

She suddenly realized that her heart didn’t write the story of the world.

“Oh.”

But like always; like those times the abyss had looked her in the face, she had to recover.

Finally, her eyes left him, and fell to the glass he’d sipped. Hers still rested, full on the counter. Perhaps never to be touched.

“Well… of course you are. You’re a catch. How couldn’t you be...”

Her heart beat, at least. She could feel it.

“No... that’s great, Matias.” While her grip on him had softened in shock, it was only moments before it tightened again. “I only hope you’re happy. You deserve it.”

She swallowed, and blinked. Looked at him. It was more apparent now why he was at a loss for words. She was a fool, and he didn't want to hurt her. And she didn't want to give him a reason for concern.

“It doesn't change things. I'm here.”

In whatever way; she always would be. Still, there was nothing else.

“You're my friend before anything.”

MATIAS SILPH

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matias

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POSTED ON Jul 14, 2021 8:29:38 GMT

[attr="class","matias"]"don't—"

words catch in his throat, held back by the chains of his past.

guilt.

it's guilt he feels, but it's also confusion.

it was only two years ago when he told her he couldn't commit, that he wasn't ready to, and yet here he is: fully committed and in love with another woman. he'd been ready to since that day in lilycove.

so why isn't she upset?

why isn't she screaming at him? calling him a hypocrite? a liar?

with her hand still in his, he rounds the counter, approaching, searching for her gaze.

"that's all we'll ever be."

friends.

"are you really okay with that?"

[attr="class","noodles"]sagira mosse

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mad

sage

she/her

twenty-eight

march 14th

pewter city, kanto

demisexual

retired soldier

ex lieutenant

52 height

the whispers in the trees are getting near

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POSTED ON Jul 15, 2021 19:32:05 GMT

What he’d said before didn’t matter. Clearly, time changed things. That was fair.

What she wouldn’t let it change was her love for him. When she knew so little about herself, there were some things she couldn’t afford to let go of—no matter how much they might hurt. The way she’d always longed for him had become part of her identity.

If she was meant to bear it alone, she would carry it like armor.

'That’s all we’ll ever be.'

He came closer, looking her in the eyes, and for a moment, just for herself, she imagined it was an alternate scenario. One where he held her closer again, and perhaps kissed her forehead.

“Of course.”

What other answer could she possibly have for him?

Her jaw clenched to hold a reassuring smile.

MATIAS SILPH

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matias

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POSTED ON Jul 15, 2021 20:12:08 GMT

[attr="class","matias"]there could be no other answer.

maybe in another life, they were meant to be together. but not this one.

"okay."

a step forward, a gentle tug, and he's pulling her into another embrace, this time more intimate than the last.

"for what it's worth, i'm glad you're here."

[attr="class","noodles"]sagira mosse

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mad

sage

she/her

twenty-eight

march 14th

pewter city, kanto

demisexual

retired soldier

ex lieutenant

52 height

the whispers in the trees are getting near

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POSTED ON Jul 16, 2021 2:04:22 GMT

It was worth a lot. It was a question that was roused, despite the touch, and the welcoming inside. How could doubt not be seeded?

She would evade it, as always.

Maybe.

He pulled her in, and she choked. She thought of Delta, and guilt. Closed her eyes into valley of his shoulder, and hung there a moment, breathing.

“Always.”

She shut off.

MATIAS SILPH

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matias

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POSTED ON Jul 16, 2021 9:48:53 GMT

[attr="class","matias"]always.

with a resigned sigh, he eventually pulls away. his hands reach to cup her face, gentle in the way they curve against her skin.

all he offers her is a parting smile before lowering his hands.

he makes a small gesture over to the kitchen, asking:

"you hungry? i can make us something."

just like old times.

[attr="class","noodles"]sagira mosse

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mad

sage

she/her

twenty-eight

march 14th

pewter city, kanto

demisexual

retired soldier

ex lieutenant

52 height

the whispers in the trees are getting near

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2021 4:37:43 GMT

Her ears felt hot, and so did her breath, so she stopped breathing. Willed herself to look at him, hoping he wouldn’t notice the glossiness to her eyes. She didn’t blink. Couldn’t. Too risky.

There was a barely audible sigh of relief when his hands dropped away. One of her own went up to hold an elbow, comforting herself.

“Um.” Hungry? What was hungry? Her brain was flatlining. “No; that’s okay. I ate before I came over, so...” A lie.

She finally took the glass off the table and took a sip, attempting to be as normal as possible. Pick up the pieces, and make it work.

“Yeah. Tell me about her, then. She must be really special, to make you commit!”

MATIAS SILPH

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matias

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2021 8:11:28 GMT

[attr="class","matias"]he notices.

the glass of water acts as a lifeline, a distraction, as he reaches over the counter for it. he raises it to his lips, sipping in an attempt to also be as normal as possible.

"yeah she's something else."

though he knows there's nothing normal about this.

"her name's eva. we met in kanto after she...uh—"

hesitance shows, perhaps a tell of how he debates bringing up something so sensitive only because it involves KING WAYLAND.

"after she saved my life."

[attr="class","noodles"]sagira mosse

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mad

sage

she/her

twenty-eight

march 14th

pewter city, kanto

demisexual

retired soldier

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2021 8:36:28 GMT

It hurt, but she endured it. Smiled, still.

And, at the mention of saving his life, it faded. It was too fake to last in such a moment. That was… something to appreciate, even if the woman had unknowingly taken up the only desire she’d ever known. It felt like she’d been robbed. Now she owed this Eva woman a favor.

Her heart twisted in weird ways.

“Saved your life?” She regretted leaving, even though it couldn’t have been helped, maybe.

“What do you mean? What happened?”

MATIAS SILPH

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matias

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2021 8:47:33 GMT

[attr="class","matias"]"just a mission gone wrong."

he shrugs.

"nothing special."

sage is among the few who possess the insight to know when he's lying — he knows this and yet he lies anyway, perhaps hoping it'd be enough to move the conversation along.

[attr="class","noodles"]sagira mosse

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played by

mad

sage

she/her

twenty-eight

march 14th

pewter city, kanto

demisexual

retired soldier

ex lieutenant

52 height

the whispers in the trees are getting near

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2021 9:40:54 GMT

Her face shifted a little. Things continued to hurt. First, there was the fact that they were to remain friends forever. Now, he lied to evade her, for some reason. Maybe disinterested in sharing things with her, now? Things had changed.

Or… maybe it’d been traumatic?

“What happened, though? Unless you... don’t want to talk about it, of course. In that case...”

Never mind?

MATIAS SILPH

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matias

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2021 9:58:52 GMT

[attr="class","matias"]and there it is: an escape, an out that'll save them from reliving the past.

but something compels him to share. guilt, perhaps?

no.

it's anger.

"they sent us to lavender to do some recon. it was mostly successful, so on the last night, we were at the safehouse, celebrating."

we — the unit sage had been in before she left.

"they ambushed us."

a pause.

"king betrayed us."

[attr="class","noodles"]sagira mosse

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played by

mad

sage

she/her

twenty-eight

march 14th

pewter city, kanto

demisexual

retired soldier

ex lieutenant

52 height

the whispers in the trees are getting near

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