MARCH UPDATE

POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 4:59:42 GMT

[attr="class","beck"]oh. she's not going to pour him one. is she? maybe it's foolish of him to expect as much, but then again, it only is common courtesy.

the thought has him chuckling as once again he leaves the warm confines of the water if only to retrieve a drink for himself.

"better than tequila?"

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POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 8:41:31 GMT

It was only when he rose again that it even occurred to her—a custom experienced so little and so drunkenly that it maybe hadn’t stuck, or perhaps she was distracted by him.

She’d poured him a drink once before. That was good enough, wasn’t it?

Lulu didn’t have a taste for sake. It was too… clean, and dry. Smelled nice, but like wine, she found it wasn’t for her. She preferred something heavier.

“S’good,” she lied.

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POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 9:11:08 GMT

[attr="class","beck"]clear liquor's poured into a little glass. he raises it, tips it, and swallows it in one, finding comfort from the heat that follows.

"it is, isn't it?"

and then he pours another, doing the same for her as well, seeing as that's only the polite thing to do.

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POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 9:25:01 GMT

KING WAYLAND likes this

She settled into the water again, watching him pour a second for her without any outward spite. A frown etched on her face, bewildered.

“Why are you nice to me?”

Had she been looking for something else?

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POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 9:28:46 GMT

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[attr="class","beck"]not wanting to get back out of the water after this, he decides to just take the bottle and glasses over to them, setting them down close enough.

he sinks back into the water, then extends a glass over to her.

"why shouldn't i be?"

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POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 11:02:25 GMT

She took the glass in her hand.

After what had happened—the way she had fallen in love with a man who had so decisively fooled her—it was even more difficult to trust kindness. Nothing felt straight-forward and honest enough, unless it hurt.

She had not been treated well as a child. Her parents had shown such little interest, and it was only as her skills showed potential benefit to others that she’d been shown kindness for the first time. Natalia, for instance. Why would it ever change?

It wouldn’t, of course.

Theo must have wanted something.

His question, though, made her think more about her own actions.

“Because I haven’t been nice to you.”

Still, she didn't drink. Her attention hung on him.

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POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 11:54:26 GMT

[attr="class","beck"]theo wants nothing, really.

"that's not your fault. i understand things are...complicated between us."

where she simply holds her gaze, he eventually lifts his to drink.

"so i don't blame you."

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POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 12:06:27 GMT

“Oh.”

Between them? What exactly did that mean?

Did it have anything to do with that night? The one that she had tried so hard to block from her mind?

She squinted a little, still confused. The heat finally began to get to her, and she felt the flush overwhelm her face all at once, prickling. Giving a heavy, cooling exhale, she shifted up higher from the surface.

What was his understanding of it?

“What do you mean by complicated?”

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POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 12:39:33 GMT

[attr="class","beck"]reaching for the bottle, he pours himself a refill, though decides not to drink this one just yet. he lets the previous shot settle.

"you strongly dislike me for the things i have done."

to who exactly needs not be said.

"and yet, we slept together, for what reason exactly, i'm not sure."

with a chuckle, he shrugs.

"complicated."

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POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 12:59:42 GMT

Still, she didn’t drink. It was as though everything else faded away, except the heat and the swelling in her chest; the lump in her throat.

Her attraction to him had not been of the body. For someone like Lulu, it rarely was. In the case of Theo, it had been something other than attraction entirely.

Her gaze fell to skim the water, only able to meet his with her defenses up.

“You hurt so many people I care about.”

People she didn’t know how to tell she cared about, most of the time. She had only recently told Cillian she loved him, and it had taken enough scotch for her father to be proud for once maybe.

At this point, there was so much pain that all feelings were starting to numb, except for her anger and hatred.

Did she care about these people anymore?

“I thought that if I subjected myself to you, it would make me feel closer to them.”

Her frown turned down further.

“It didn’t.”

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POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 13:13:56 GMT

[attr="class","beck"]theo listens, watching the subtleties of her expression and how they flicker and change. he doesn't frown.

"you aren't nice to me because i hurt so many people you care about."

only then does he drink, sipping this time as if to prolong the burn.

"it might surprise you, lulu, but i'm not trying to hurt them anymore, nor am i trying to hurt you."

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POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 13:24:08 GMT

KING WAYLAND likes this

“…”

Her gaze didn’t meet his again yet, but she finally brought the sake to her lips and downed it, resetting the glass and leaving it to its emptiness.

After a moment of thought, she finally asked, “What changed?”

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POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 13:35:48 GMT

[attr="class","beck"]"i did."

no longer is he shackled to the organization that he once thought owned him. now, he understands that he is free to do as he will, to live as he will, and he is here, in rocket, not by their will but by his own.

in that aspect, he is a survivor.

"i never wanted to hurt them. i just wanted them to survive."

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POSTED ON Aug 25, 2021 13:56:09 GMT

It might’ve made sense, but reason hit a wall as always. The look in her eyes could easily read that she still didn’t understand. She needed hating him to be justified, because it was part of the foundation on which she had come to find a purpose.

By allowing him to be humanized to her, she allowed him to briefly rattle that foundation.

“What lives they have now to live.”

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