divine despair

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

close tab

played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
twenty-eight
october 27th
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
executive
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
awards
4,411 posts
Lulu Flint DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @lulu
Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON Dec 9, 2021 14:55:48 GMT
Lulu Flint Avatar

“you’re really taking me on a goddamn ride, aren’t you?” she muttered under her breath, looking into the sepia-toned hole in the wall. what were these tentacles? some sort of fucked up symbolism?

she moved on, not exploring too deeply. allowing choi to remain her guide.

eyes fell on a book lying open on the ground. was it a comfort, though?

lulu approached it, crouched, and eventually attempted to pick it up and turn the pages. it was always strange to think about such hardened criminals as having once been children. so vulnerable.
close tab

played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
can i
call you tonight?
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
awards
2,592 posts
Chu-e Choi DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @choi
Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON Feb 6, 2022 16:26:01 GMT
Chu-e Choi Avatar
I was really excited for when I could do this post. My original idea was to do like, a whole ass drawing and maybe simple animation for it. But then the move happened and I can't find any of my files and I'm too busy to do that. So maybe I'll come back to that someday and do it when I have more time. Cause I think in this thread is just really cool.

When Lulu took the book, she would find the pages stiff and solid, as if the whole thing were made of a solid object. But it was still paper, still a book. The open pages danced with childish scribbles, the scene of a dark forest moving on the pages. There were six figures, what could assume were two parents and four children, ranging in ages from teenagers to a baby. If Lulu took note, she might find one of the kids looked strikingly like the Underboss. Only, as if a child had drawn him while he was a child.

Then it spoke to her, a whispered story in a young boy's voice, the pages moving to reflect the action.

Once upon a time there was a family
a mom
a dad
an older sister
the good twin
the bad twin
and a precious baby sister

They lived by a forest where people went missing
the baby sister was too young to know such things
and she went into the forest
and she never came back

Everyone searched and searched and searched
but they never found her
and soon everyone gave up on her
except for the bad twin

He promised he would never give up on her
and one day a man heard his story
the man said he knew where the sister was
told him where to go in the forest

The bad twin went and waited
but the man was really a monster
and o̷̹͋̚ḥ̸̽g̷̰͉͗o̸̧͕͠d̵̪́ͅd̴̬̮̆̀o̶̢̠͋͘n̸̮͒'̶̨̫͗͠t̸̙̻̆m̷̝̦͛a̸͚̅͝k̵̖̯̀̒e̵͕͗̚m̸̺͛̎é̷̗t̵̰̀h̶̺͘i̸̜̘͛̈́n̷̨̳̂́k̵̫̾a̵͖̣̔b̷͚̳̈́͛ỏ̵̰̪u̵̢̲̽t̸͔̽͝i̶̜͊̎t̶͖̚l̵̗̩͆û̷̗̗̀l̴̤̰͂u̸͕̿p̷̡̹̀̌ḷ̸̾e̶̞͚͗͠â̷̯̿s̴͕͍͗e̶̖͇̚

the bad twin came home
but he wasn't the same

he wasn't the same

he wasn't the same

he wasn't the same

he wasn't the same

h̵͖̋e̴̱͋͌ ̸͇̳̾̏w̴̻̤͋̉à̵͚̆͜s̷͎̿̀n̵̢͎̓͂'̸̙̒̚t̸͈̂̒ ̵̺̃̇t̶̲͇͒h̵̘͂ȩ̶̄̊ ̴̞͇͘s̵̗̲͠ä̴͈́m̸͇̞͒̕ȇ̷͈̤

From behind, something grasps for Lulu.

A monster. Black with big blue eyes that looms over her. For wrists or whatever purchase it can hold.

This is not a safe space.

Cracks form under them, light seeping through. The tentacles writhe, shifting, as if trying to force their way in.
close tab

played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
twenty-eight
october 27th
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
executive
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
awards
4,411 posts
Lulu Flint DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @lulu
Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON Feb 19, 2022 4:22:52 GMT
Lulu Flint Avatar

she turned the pages, looking over the child’s drawings and relating one of them to chu-e. the story got dark quickly—go figure—but something finally made her want to shut the cover on the whole thing.

the words were jumbled suddenly... and he was speaking directly to her. her skin crawled.

”wake up, choi,” she hissed.

the room around her began to chip away, light shining in brightly, and something reached for her.

she screamed, ”wake up! darkrai!

the nightmare would only worsen to its climax, terror reaching the edge at which they would surely be forced to surface. she drew into shadow, hiding.
close tab

played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
can i
call you tonight?
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
awards
2,592 posts
Chu-e Choi DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @choi
Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON Feb 19, 2022 6:05:21 GMT
Chu-e Choi Avatar
draws to shadow.

In the waking world, Chu-e's body opens it's eyes.

But it is not Choi that wakes up.

Much like had before, Lulu meets the monster. Crystal crackles over his skin and he reaches. For her. For Darkrai? Either will do. It's so hungry.

Before Lulu is ripped from the dream, she would feel it.

The all consuming pressure of something other pressing on the back of her mind. Was that what Chu-e had to deal with constantly? Forceful, pervasive, as if it was trying to snap her mind in two, take her over. It was little wonder he wasn't more insane than he already was.

The eyes that look on Lulu now are empty and lifeless.
close tab

played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
twenty-eight
october 27th
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
executive
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
awards
4,411 posts
Lulu Flint DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @lulu
Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON Mar 31, 2022 4:35:20 GMT
Lulu Flint Avatar

a terrible pressure seemed to pierce through her skull—a pain she was not accustomed to feeling ever, much less in these brief glimpses where she figured herself more like a ghost than anyone else.

she crumpled at the hip, gripping her head. ”no... stop!”

when the nightmare faded away, a chill ran down her spine, and she stumbled back wide-eyed from the edge of the bed, away from the crystalizing arm reaching for her. the lifeless eyes.

darkrai loomed. a terrifying sight to wake up to for anyone, surely, but chu-e was no longer himself, nor human from the looks of it.

”choi?”
close tab

played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
can i
call you tonight?
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
awards
2,592 posts
Chu-e Choi DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @choi
Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON Apr 18, 2022 21:03:15 GMT
Chu-e Choi Avatar
Something crackled like crystal snapping. Choi's neck snapped to the side and his whole body jerked to the side, limbs twisting. Black crystal flexed like scales over his face, his body, his eyes- surrounding him. It pulled itself to it's feet, more dragging real steps.

It looked between Darkrai and .

It opened Choi's mouth to use his throat. It was garbled and rough; something not used to human form using Choi like a puppet.

"S̸̨̛͉̜̜͉̩͎̬̪̣̖̫̱̖͚̻͎̮̺͐ ̴̢̛̠̯̗̬̤̹̮͇͖͕̻̲͔̻̹̲̗͚̞̮͉̋̄̈͆̌͂̃͋̈́̃̀͊̀̑̌͆̓́̈́̈́͌͛̉̐̕͝ţ̸̢̖͎̜͎̭̤̣̯͍̠͐̈̈́̃̅̑̐͒̀̀̐̽̽͒̄̑̈́̓̃̏̐̀̂͘̕̕͜͝ ̸̧̰̪̠̝̹̙̝̟̮̟̥̲͂̏̇̀̆̋̎̄̓̊͒͝͠a̴̡̨̢͚̩̤̠̙̝̯͓̰͔̟͎͇͕̗̗̋͐̽͐̌̀̈́͌̾̈́̇͘͝ͅ ̴̨̨̧͙͈̰̟͕̭̗̜̹̲̼̯͚̮͇̦͈̠̰̩͎̳̲̦̂̒̄͌̽̇͐̋̃͂̎͘͝ͅr̵̛̰͎̮̝̫̹̀̓̆͆̈̇̆̎̔̿̈́̇͂͌̎̀̆̄̕͜͝ ̶̜̦̰̖͓̝͈̩̙̯̳̠̥͈̿͛̓̃͒́͋͠ṿ̴̛̺̻̰͇̹͖̙̫̒͂̃̓̓̉̂̅̒̓́̚̕͜͜͠͝ ̸̨͓͈̝̬̻̞̪̲͔̥̹̤̥̤̩̲̱͙͙͚̜̈́̌͘̕͜i̴̟̝̜͍͚̭̲͙̟̺͇̮̗͓̲̽̌̒̓̑͆͆̂̇̏̓̈́͛͋̽̉̈́̑͆̔̅͘̚̚ ̶̛̛̻̺͓͉̫̹̄̊̾̍̍̉̓̔̃̈́̒̓͗̇̉̆̐͑͘̕͘͜͠ͅn̸̡̝̣̦̞̱̣͔̦̻͇͓̖̯̥̩͕̜̳̻͍̝̑́̽́̈́ͅͅ ̸̧̺̝͓̩̦̮͍͍͙̬̥̪͕͌́͐͠͝ģ̷̛̺̗̗̪̳̝̦̞̹̞̞͍̥͎̳͑̋̓̅̾̀̽̍̀̀̓̎̍͋͂͒̒͗̕͘̕͜"


A shaking step forward as it reached outward; shaking like a newborn deer learning to use legs.

It froze.

Chu-e dropped.

Then he groaned and blinked, pushing himself up again. Like normal. His nose was bleeding; the blood crystallized into hard shapes as it dripped down his lip.

"What... Lulu? Where...?"
close tab

played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
twenty-eight
october 27th
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
executive
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
awards
4,411 posts
Lulu Flint DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @lulu
Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON Apr 29, 2022 2:12:45 GMT
Lulu Flint Avatar

it was horrific. she was accustomed enough to that, but this was the real world. things like this belonged more in nightmares.

she stepped back, well out of the way. darkrai gave up no space, still looming. darkness swirled threateningly, prepared to attack, but then... chu-e was back.

”chu-e.”

she stared, looking severe.

”is that you?”
close tab

played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
can i
call you tonight?
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
awards
2,592 posts
Chu-e Choi DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @choi
Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON Apr 29, 2022 3:37:45 GMT
Chu-e Choi Avatar
Coming back to himself never felt great.

Chu-e still has to push the last of sleep away. His head hurts. He's confused as to why he's on the floor.

Chu-e looks up at with confusion before he glances away, almost ashamed. He smears the crystallizing blood on the back of his hand as he tries to fully get back up.

"It came out, didn't it?"
close tab

played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
twenty-eight
october 27th
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
executive
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
awards
4,411 posts
Lulu Flint DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @lulu
Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON Apr 30, 2022 5:54:20 GMT
Lulu Flint Avatar

she stared, unsure of how to react. chu-e was one of the few in rocket she had grown to have true appreciation for over time. his decline in health had been sad to see.

it was also what just barely kept her from demanding to know why he hadn’t told her prior to putting him under. that, and maybe his authority over her—what of it he truly had in this weakened state.

”yes.” she was quiet a moment, eyes still cautious, as though she were concerned it might come back. ”what was that?”

”and are you alright?”
close tab

played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
can i
call you tonight?
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
awards
2,592 posts
Chu-e Choi DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @choi
Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON May 4, 2022 2:05:04 GMT
Chu-e Choi Avatar
"I'm surprised Gavin didn't tell you." Chu-e groaned, regaining himself and trying to pull himself back up into the bed. Easier said than done. "That's the thing that put him in the hospital." Since this was set just after that.

A hand down his face as he sighed.

"No." He chewed on the word. Physically? No worse than usual, given his condition. Mentally? Terrible. "It wants me to eat you. I can feel it trying to crack open my brain constantly."

He snarled, not at but at his luck of the draw.

"I was hoping you might find something out about it."
close tab

played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
twenty-eight
october 27th
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
executive
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
awards
4,411 posts
Lulu Flint DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @lulu
Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON May 5, 2022 6:50:22 GMT
Lulu Flint Avatar

she was even more disturbed, suddenly.

”what? there are lots of things that gavin doesn’t tell me.” because they weren’t supposed to be related, right? did chu-e know? ”why would he tell me that?”

realizing she was becoming a touch too nervous, she stopped and took a breath, expression smoothing more, only to go wide-eyed.

”eat me?” and again, he’d not thought to warn her first?

taking another step back, she stood taller.

”i will do what i can. in the meantime, you need to be more transparent with me—if i'm to help you at all and not die in the process.”
close tab

played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
can i
call you tonight?
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
awards
2,592 posts
Chu-e Choi DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @choi
Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON May 6, 2022 1:39:55 GMT
Chu-e Choi Avatar
"He speaks highly of you." It's not a lie. At this point in time, Chu-e has no idea that and are related. That's not till after, till they meet in Gavin's office and try to patch up pieces in the aftermath.

But that's for later.

But, it's Chu-e's turn to be startled. Or at least a bit confused.

"I thought I warned you the night I told you to kill me." Was his memory failing him? Even now it felt like months had passed. It frustrated him. What use was he as any type of informant, at collecting information, if he couldn't remember something so simple? Would he start losing names? Would he come home one day and forget who was?

It scared him. Losing himself.

He was reminded of before all this parasite stuff happened. Before Chu-e was invited back into Rocket, took up Underboss; sitting with Gavin and admitting to the other man that the thing that scared him the most was his future. When he had that final seizure and he didn't come back. Not being Chu-e anymore, but a husk of a person laying in a hospital bed until he faded away. A death before death.

This creature inside of him was the same shit in a different form.

Maybe that's why it didn't scare him as much as it should have.

"... I should have explained myself better. I thought you knew." He will concede that. Chu-e likes Lulu, possibly more than she likes him. She's not a fucking idiot like a lot of other people.
close tab

played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
twenty-eight
october 27th
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
executive
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
awards
4,411 posts
Lulu Flint DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @lulu
Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON May 22, 2022 3:26:11 GMT
Lulu Flint Avatar

he speaks highly of you.

all she could manage in response was, ”oh.” even with all the moments she had witnessed glowing pride in ’s face for her, scars had made it impossible to retain any sense of accomplishment. when it came to him, she simply could not shake feeling like the less-talented child sister he’d left behind. imposter, her reflection said. maybe one day, having superpowers and being head of the lab would feel real enough to matter.

the night he’d told her to kill him. why did that seem like a dream too? ”uh... okay. yeah, i guess i remember that.” she shook her head. had the world always been this fucked up and weird?

”it’s fine, chu-e. i’m sorry.” rare words from lulu flint. she paused to gather her nerves another moment. she had infamously terrible bedside manner. maybe he needed to lie down again? was it wrong to assign a nurse to this job after what she'd just witnessed? ”... how are you feeling, now?”
close tab

played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
can i
call you tonight?
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
awards
2,592 posts
Chu-e Choi DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @choi
Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON May 30, 2022 19:55:26 GMT
Chu-e Choi Avatar
Chu-e tried to remember more. If there was any more. He was still too shaken from his own experience.

He didn't like to show it and wanted people to know even less. But... he likes .

"Physically? Uh... nauseous. Hungry. Kind of fatigued."

He thinks, if Lulu hadn't offered her own small 'I'm sorry', he might not have told her.

"Mentally? Not... great." He lifted an arm. He pushed, pushed, tried to force him mind to focus...

A shimmer of black crystal blossomed on his skin. It rippled over his arm and hand like crystallized ooze before sinking back into the skin. That small act seemed to take a great effort. Later, much later, he would be able to do it at will. The thing eating him alive would have sunk further into his mind.

"I feel like a bomb." He groaned and pushed himself to his feet, standing again. Just the slightest of wobble. "At some point this thing is going to go off. I just don't want you or anyone else to get caught in the blast."
close tab

played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
twenty-eight
october 27th
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
executive
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
awards
4,411 posts
Lulu Flint DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @lulu
Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON Jun 2, 2022 1:11:09 GMT
Lulu Flint Avatar

chu-e had been one of the few in rocket who had been unendingly kind to her since the beginning. her usual sharpness faded towards him in a way few could cause. pity was not in her emotional inventory; however, she was certainly more inclined to problem-solve for him.

”i think you should lie down again, chu-e. try and rest. i can send someone to get you something to eat... and i’ll do what i can to ensure the bomb does not go off.”

she had no idea how, but team rocket’s labs would be on the case. all experts on avatarship, biology, and all manner of parasite. she had the lists and the bark to get the ball rolling.

unfortunately, in the end, they would fail.