divine despair

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
howard
smells bad
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
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Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON Sept 30, 2021 18:35:27 GMT
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The bed had been wheeled in from medical.

Chu-e lays on his back and stares at the ceiling, his fingers tight as he grips the sheets. His eyes are vacant, somewhere else, heart beating.

"You made sure there weren't any needles in here, right?"

He doesn't think he can handle that, anxiety already prickling under his skin.

This was something that needed to be done.

It was also an act of trust.

Chu-e wondered if knew that.
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played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
29
october 27
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
head scientist
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
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Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON Sept 30, 2021 19:39:32 GMT
Lulu Flint Avatar

"of course; i told you i would. not to worry."

it was almost funny to her that the underboss would be afraid of needles, but then again, he had been the subject of much medical torture and experimentation, and so maybe it wasn't so silly after all.

she stared down at him on the bed, eyes practically sparkling with hunger. it had been so long since her mind had tasted a human dream. it called to her, despite her morals. and this one... this was a twofer.

"anything else you'd like to talk about before we do this? questions, concerns?"
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played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
howard
smells bad
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
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2,658 posts
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Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON Sept 30, 2021 20:16:08 GMT
Chu-e Choi Avatar
"I have PTSD related nightmares." Vaguely, slowly, his own distant eyes met hers. Would that effect anything? Make them better for her? Worse?

Then, he glanced past , towards the ceiling again.

"Darkrai," Because surely it had to be around, right? "If it wakes up, get her out of here, okay?"

Eyes closed with a shaky sigh.

"Ready when you are, Lulu."
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played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
29
october 27
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
head scientist
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
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4,788 posts
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Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON Oct 1, 2021 1:06:39 GMT
Lulu Flint Avatar

ptsd. she had been looking into it before tapu fini had effectively ‘fixed’ much of her trauma’s effects. when darkrai had rid her of sleep entirely, she’d then stopped wondering about her psychological ailments.

for a moment, she said nothing, unsure of what words to offer him.

“well, not sure if i’ll even see them, so…” a shrug. in the past, being sucked into nightmares instead of feeding off the good dreams had been miserable—but for once, she wanted to see.

when addressed by the underboss, darkrai rose from a shadow in the corner, eerily silent, but acknowledging. under command, but also protective.

“alright. ready.”

lulu nodded, a chill sending bumps over her skin. the breath in her chest nearly tickled with thrill and anxiety. her eyes grew darker.

“you’ll go to sleep now.”

pits of black stared into his face, pulling him under to drown in the dark energy that pooled around him on the bed, extracting the innermost workings of his slumbering mind and delivering them to her. from another who likely had no good dreams, maybe she would see nothing.

but, maybe like it had been with other avatars, like and , he would drag her down with him, into the plane of ultimate nightmares.

necrozma.

show yourself to me.

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played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
howard
smells bad
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
awards
2,658 posts
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Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON Oct 1, 2021 9:42:25 GMT
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Chu-e fights it out of habit, the darkness that creeps in, how his eyes close and mind blanks out. But, as commands, he sleeps.

And something not quiet either of them reaches out and tugs.

Something more.

But Lulu is not looking down at her sleeping boss anymore, she is alone in a dimly lit room, black crystal blooming on every surface. It stinks of blood and the rot of unwashed people, piss and sickness as people wail in the distance, muffled. 'Cell' is a generous word for the small space.

Chu-e sits behind the bars, curled up on himself, thin and dirty and ragged. He doesn't look at her. Not yet.

Time for a wild ride on the subconscious, passenger one.

Distantly, as if far away, something buzzes. Lulu may feel herself starting to feel peckish.
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played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
29
october 27
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
head scientist
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
awards
4,788 posts
Lulu Flint DOLLARS
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Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON Oct 1, 2021 18:15:47 GMT
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fueled by the power of darkrai, their nightmares were always vivid. it was part of the reason the terrifying sensations they inflicted lasted for so long afterwards, haunting like ghosts of horror, and even causing some of their victims, like , to relive their traumas over, and over, and over…

perhaps they were part of the evil in the world. but, could the nature of something or someone ever be inherently evil?

this question could be applied to yveltal and giratina as well, and maybe most interestingly of all: necrozma. while yveltal and giratina were weighted in understanding with essential concepts of the human experience, like life and death, and the importance of balance; ideas that led to the conclusion that all would be gone at some point, but that society would persist; necrozma’s purpose when applied to humanity was almost unfathomable. it seemed to have no benefit or resolution—at least, not to the common person.

necrozma was pure destruction; the end of all; the thing that said their luck had run out, and that they were not so important after all. the human totem pole was a mere splinter floating through the merciless space of infinity.

their passenger one was met with the scent of macabre itself; invading her senses as yes, she was pulled in—and this nightmare was eerily immersive. she brought an arm to her nose, stomach turning and eyes stinging terribly as they passed over dark crystal, and eventually fell on him, tiny and crumbled in the sickening truth of man’s impermanence.

she waited, and said nothing, because she believed he couldn’t hear.
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played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
howard
smells bad
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
awards
2,658 posts
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Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON Oct 11, 2021 15:59:01 GMT
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Wait would. Empty and still, more like a snapshot than a living space.

Then Chu-e looked up, hollow eyes sunken into his skull with hunger, skin sallow and limp. Right into her eyes, as if he could stare through her soul.

Except, not really, as a moment later, a faceless void of a person in thick and protective lab gear would pass through Lulu from behind, as if she were a ghost, nothing, just a witness.

Chu-e pressed himself back into the cell what little he could as the door swung open, the scientist using some type of tool to grab him and drag him out. Not as if he could struggle, too weak, as he was forced to his feet and pulled out of the cage. The scientist tugged even as Chu-e did what little he could to resist, bare feet scraping on the stone.

The figure pulled, passing Lulu this time be it by happenstance or her moving, and Chu-e was dragged with her.

Except when Chu-e passed by Lulu too.

A dirty hand with cracked and bleeding nails grabbed her wrist, solid and forceful.

scared hungry dark cold pain pain bleeding stinks pain kill me kill me death

then

lulu, kill me

and it all faded into nothing and Lulu was alone.

Except, not.

It was dark but less like a nothing and more like a night, a faint light reflecting off the grass from behind Lulu now. And if she turned, it would be... a small campsite, one tent, a fire built up in the middle. A younger Chu-e, still fit and strong, roasting a hotdog with a severe face. Crystal bloomed here, too, hidden on trees and out of sight. Present.
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played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
29
october 27
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
head scientist
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
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4,788 posts
Lulu Flint DOLLARS
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Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON Oct 12, 2021 18:00:13 GMT
Lulu Flint Avatar

she felt her eyes begin to water at the odor. why was this so vivid?

the stare of his near-corpse suddenly pierced right through her, freezing her there, only capable of staring back as though she’d seen a ghost.

when the person passed through her, she found herself relieved, because, oh, he’d been staring at them.. when they turned to head past her again, their facelessness stopped the life in her chest. it was like a figure out of her own dreams, before she’d lost them altogether. like the people at the party, under the purple sky.

she watched as he was dragged out, prepared to follow despite her momentary spook. before she could take a step, however, just as they passed, chu’e’s hand shot out to grab her wrist with a strength and firmness he hadn’t previously appeared to possess.

shaken and wide-eyed, she said nothing, only taking in his jumbled string of dark words, and his terrible request.

kill me.

she blinked, but then he was gone. she was outdoors, at night presumably. she looked over, and there was… someone.

only when she walked closer did she begin to realize.

the contrast from the person from only moments before was unbelievable. she’d never seen him from the past. was this a true version? perhaps. he’d been a beast, after all.

she decided to try something she never had before.

“chu-e?”
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played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
howard
smells bad
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
awards
2,658 posts
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Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON Nov 9, 2021 20:49:57 GMT
Chu-e Choi Avatar
"Who are you?" Was answered to 's question.

Except, was it?

"You look like a wet cat. Sit down." Gruff, said with a snarl. Chu-e reached over and started to fiddle with another stick, get another weenie out to roast. A pocket knife was pulled out, aimed at a log sitting on the other side of the fire. The knife was used to scrape bark off a stick.

And Lulu might feel the urge to sit down, a pull. It could be resisted if she really wanted. But would there be a point?

Maybe, too, if she glanced down, she would see a double image. A smaller set of ghostly hands, like a child, layered on top of hers.

"Yeah? Well, warm up."
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played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
29
october 27
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
head scientist
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
awards
4,788 posts
Lulu Flint DOLLARS
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Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON Nov 17, 2021 12:09:15 GMT
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she jumped visibly when she was acknowledged.

okay. this was new.

the tension in her shoulders tightened, but she moved to sit down anyways. she was captivated by his health. he hardly looked like the same person.

when she sat down, it took her a moment to realize—but then she did.

she’d had dreams like this. hands that weren’t her own. a coincidence, sure, but it spooked her. this was chu-e’s dream, wasn’t it? everything was exceptionally disorienting here.

staring at the young chu-e, she put her layered hands out towards the fire.
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played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
howard
smells bad
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
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2,658 posts
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Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON Nov 18, 2021 20:50:03 GMT
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"Yeah? From over that way?" As tried to warm herself up, Chu-e would continue his one sided conversation. Was this a memory or a dream? A mix of the two? Something else?

"Well, whatever. You can stay here tonight, kid." His handiwork done, a weenie had been shoved on the sharpened stick, which was offered to Lulu to take.

This Chu-e wasn't friendly in the same way the current Chu-e was. Where the current Chu-e would smile easily, even if it was fake, this one's face was hard and flat as stone. Only the barest of hints of expression. Individuality worn down by a decade in Kanto's Rocket.

The scene froze.

Where there was a faint warmth from the fire, shadows of it moving, like a movie 'paused' it all was gone. Stark, odd, except Chu-e- who blinked, once, and he stared at Lulu.

Right into her eyes.

Except was this really Chu-e?

It was empty.

It opened it's mouth to talk but only the grating of crystal rubbing on crystal came out as it's lips moved.

Then it grabbed her arm and pulled.

And Lulu was somewhere else again.

Chu-e, younger still, no more than nineteen, sat in the corner of a dingy room. He shivered and stared listlessly at a wall, gloves up to his elbows covered in blood.

A body was on the table, a mess, faceless and gruesome with clear signs of mutilation.

"You did good, boy." A sleazy voice spoke from behind Lulu, deep and older. "We have two more tomorrow."
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played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
29
october 27
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
head scientist
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
awards
4,788 posts
Lulu Flint DOLLARS
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Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON Nov 23, 2021 18:57:39 GMT
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it was certainly like no dream she’d ever witnessed. while diving into dreams of avatars seemed to allow her a deeper connection to the dreamer than with those of regular people—though perhaps this was only by coincidence—this one was almost too immersive.

the hand that seemed to exist over her own took the weenie, but it was promptly dropped as chu-e reached out and grabbed her roughly by the arm. she stared back, just as frozen in shock as time seemed to stop around them.

it was utterly terrifying.

how had he been able to see her, much less touch her?

his grip was so very real. the grating of crystal as he opened his mouth was like a sound straight out of a horror movie. Even she was stunned with fear.

and then, they were somewhere else. trying not to panic, she eyed a young and blood-covered chu-e, lingering near a mangled corpse. quite a sight, but not an uncommon theme in nightmares. it did not surprise her, except maybe for the particularly brutal fashion in which this victim had been presumably ‘taken care of’.

the voice behind her caused her to spin and stumble away, not wanting to come into such close contact to others within the dream. she wanted to leave, but she was not so great at pulling out at will as she was going in.
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played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
howard
smells bad
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
awards
2,658 posts
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Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON Nov 24, 2021 20:10:11 GMT
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Horror movie as it was, when turned around, the figure speaking was not faceless as others had been. This was not a boon, as it was something worse. Black, gaping holes carved out of flesh, a thing with too many teeth. It seemed large, looming, vicious and hungry like a predator. Just like how Chu-e remembered, even if not accurate.

A blink, and the scene was the same but different, the body still there only strung up over top of them, dripping on them tears like an angel as Chu-e stood over another body. A scalpel in a shaking hand, the black-holed monster pressed into his back, whispering in his ear.

Thick tears of blood washed down his face and onto a new body; two people sewn together, screaming soundlessly. He cut into them with the scalpel and literal red flowers bloomed from each cut as he widened the gap. Black crystal crept up his fingers, slowly.

It didn't seem like Lulu would get much attention payed to her in this room. But, she had time to look around more closely than the others.
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played by

mad

saoirse quinn
she/her
29
october 27
circhester, galar
bisexual
physicist / inventor
head scientist
the shadows breathe
whispering me away
5’8” height
5’8” height
every night i burn, dream the black crow dream
awards
4,788 posts
Lulu Flint DOLLARS
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Lulu Flint
divine despair
POSTED ON Nov 28, 2021 13:45:38 GMT
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it was alarming.

she stumbled back, giving a light yelp of surprise, and then immediately clapping a hand over her mouth for fear that it might respond in the way that chu-e had before. as though it might bring her to its attention.

yes, she had seen the utmost horrors that darkrai could produce. they had been brought to life time and time again, around her, creeping through corners in the lighthouse… night terrors that only comforted her with the fact that they were presumably on her side. illusions to remind her that her guardian was close.

however, as the immersion of the dream seemed to increase, she began to wonder if these were not darkrai’s terrors. if they existed on some side against her. this was not her realm.

she blinked, and the monstrosity that had loomed behind her had vanished and reappeared pressed against chu-e, seeming to breath down his neck. the sight was chilling. the rest seemed… abstract. flowers, and tears of blood…

black crystal.

carefully, she crept along the perimeter of the room, eyeing around at its contents. looking for the more of the same strange material.
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played by

yams

Ji-Hoon Ki
they/he
twenty seven
june fifteenth
solaceon, sinnoh
queer
intel
---
howard
smells bad
5'8" height
5'8" height
words drip like honey dear how sweet it is to hear
awards
2,658 posts
Chu-e Choi DOLLARS
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Chu-e Choi
divine despair
POSTED ON Dec 3, 2021 2:14:41 GMT
Chu-e Choi Avatar
It was amazing what a little PTSD and cosmic horror could do when combined together. Shake in a mix of 's avatar powers and she was in a strange situation.

Like any good dream, abstractions were abound. Lulu would not escape the terrible room with the blood and bodies and terrible creature attached to his back, if she turned she would always see it still there, but the corner of the room seemed to melt into something else.

Fuzzy around the edges and distant in that sepia tone old memories always had. Unlike anything else up to this point it was nice. The corner seemed like it was from another place, another time, in how it had lodged itself in her path. The only thing was it looked as if terrible black tentacles had latched into the walls of this memory/dream, as if feeding from it.

It was a bookshelf, one of the small ones children use, in what looked to be a bedroom. A total difference from the terror in the center of the room. It almost seemed calm, books with childish titles of gibberish. One laid in the floor, open. Words were impossible but child's scribbles danced on the pages, a show just for her if she wanted to look closer.

Even in a nightmare there could be comfort.
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Hogwarts AU
RPG Unlimited
MR
The Enroi Region
N:FB
Vyrehaven
Celestial Guardians, AU Sailor Moon RP
EO GENESIS
Code and Crown: An advanced literate warriors cats RP, set in medieval times
Swords Clashing