she doesn't want to move away from him, but the seconds stretch on. she strains to hear something on the other side of the door, some sort of inkling as to what the hell bo is doing. or if he's still there at all.

she stands, finally releasing roman, wanting to fulfill her promise of at least getting him something to eat. the door opens when she's pulling the tinfoil off a veggie lasagna and she moves with a start, coming 'round the fridge just to see with her own eyes that he's come back.

there's something off about him and it adds a little something to the guilt swimming in her gut. her mouth goes dry and she looks away, focuses on heating up the food instead. 

"yes, it's alright. roman, honey, come sit down at the table so we can all talk." because she wants to hear this too. 

and, just to help put roman (and herself) at ease, she looks over her shoulder to bo and adds, "and after dinner, i'll get the spare sheets and we'll set you up for tonight on the couch."

boruta maher  & Roman Maher

☉

it was very difficult to meet willow’s eyes in that moment, but he did. the thought of sleeping on her couch for the first time after such a scenario was far from sweet-feeling in any way. ”thanks, will,” he managed.

at roman’s muttering, he suppressed the smallest snort. he figured he wouldn’t feel like eating either if he’d just stabbed someone in the gut. then, briefly, his past invaded his thoughts, and actually, he’d definitely eaten full meals after doing much worse.

and roman was ten. and, suddenly, he was seeing an unsettling amount of himself in the boy’s face. it was uncanny, wasn’t it?

he stared roman in the eyes—for longer than he ever had before, as he silently chewed on his words.

finally, ”roman, i need you tell me if you knew anyone else back there—besides cian.” the look in his forehead was sincere. severe. ”and i need you to be completely honest, because there were some very dangerous people there.”

Roman Maher & willow atkins

☉

part of her wants to walk away from all of this. part of her wants to shut her bedroom door and crawl under her covers, drag a pillow over her ears, and not listen to the two of them. not make what roman has done a reality. not see the glimpses of bo's past, the road he'd walked before coming back to them. 

her hands shake. they don't have a microwave so she's using a skillet, covering it with foil so it'll heat all the way around. but the low sizzles and pops can't drown out the words. she can't walk away, but she can't turn around either.

all she can do is listen. and think. and let her imagination get the better of her. 

her shoulders tense. some very dangerous people there. "and you brought him?! how do you even know they're dangerous?" she bites her tongue. swallows.

boruta maher  & Roman Maher

☉

”i was there by myself,” he clarified, stare remaining on the boy across the table. ”and i just know. job stuff.” 

his attention wasn’t deterred by the worry in willow’s voice. the graveness that had collected in his features was old and hardened with experience, and it pulled at whatever curtain hid a dark past from them, never spoken about.

roman’s discomfort did nothing to affect his severity.

”so you stabbed a stranger. what for?”

Roman Maher & willow atkins

☉

”the girl, eris,” he echoed. another kid. who was the girl? he struggled to remember. he’d been so concerned about rushing roman out of a nest of vipers. ”i thought you said you didn’t know anyone there.”

this was perhaps worse than he thought. his mind was running laps. his kid was going to turn into a serial killer, and he was at the kitchen table across from him, guilty of his own record, faced with whatever opportunity he might have to redirect him. was it even possible to redirect a sociopath?

it was now his responsibility to figure it out.

he stared, struggling for words but looking only increasingly stern as he held himself together.

”same question: why?”

Roman Maher & willow atkins

☉

she's listening so intently that the dinner starts to burn. the acrid smell makes her nose wrinkle and she coughs as she reaches over the stovetop to shove the window open. the cheese that had dribbled off the lasagna is black and with shaking hands, she tries her best to unstick it from the pan and keep it together enough to put it on a couple plates. 

but it's hard to focus when their conversation is pulling her outside herself, when her anxiety is making it so she can't breathe. sleepless nights spent much the same way as this one - wound up tight, just waiting to snap. 

and it's as she's putting the plates down, when roman spits vile words that'll hurt bo more than he'll ever know, that she cracks. 

the plates clatter on the table and she steps right in front of roman, hands on either side of the chair to trap him. to force him to sit back down. her jaw is set, anger and frustration alight in her green eyes. 

"roman, you will not say anything like that to him. i don't care what he did. for the past two years, your father's done nothing but care about you. he's done everything to make it right.

"so sit the fuck down and answer him. this is serious. you did an awful thing and he, we - " and she loses her steam. she'd been choking back more tears and they come forth now. tears of anger, of shock, of rage. 

she steps back, feeling like her hands burn, horrified by her own actions. 

her mother yells from her room and she uses it as an excuse to leave. she's too ashamed to meet bo's eyes so she clenches her fingers to fists and abandons him with roman in lieu of checking on eleanor.

for better or worse, maybe he'll listen now.

boruta maher  & Roman Maher

☉

that would hurt later, but this wasn’t his first rodeo.

willow, however, was shocking. she interjected before he could get a word in, and he looked over in awe. had he ever heard that before? maybe years ago. or, perhaps the fire had started with motherhood, and it was now burning full-circle.

eleanor was screaming. willow left. they were alone. bo had hardly moved a muscle.

“i care,” he stated matter-of-factly. and he would apologize at length one day, but tonight? there would be no dodging. even guilt couldn’t shake him off. he had to play the bad guy? okay. easy. he’d been doing it for a while.

”but i don’t think you understand me. i’m not asking you about your feelings—not right now. i want to know why you were trying to attack a little girl. answer me, roman. what did she do to you?”

Roman Maher & willow atkins

☉

roman’s tears. they always got to him. he’d always softened. it was his son, his only child and whom he’d wronged, but this was too much. this had gotten so unbelievably far out of hand.

when roman stood, reaching into his pocket, bo rose as well. he towered, looking every bit of the enforcer he had once been.

”no. you’re not. don’t be foolish, roman. i may be old, but i’ll still outrun your ass, and don’t think for a second you can take me. not even on my worst day.” it was low, almost as though willow wasn’t meant to hear.

the next words were sharper, deeper. a bellow of a command. ”sit down.” he held out his hand. ”and give me that. you’re not gonna threaten anybody else tonight, especially not me.”

Roman Maher & willow atkins

☉