for sam, there’s not enough sarcasm in those words. for sam, the emotions knox is feeling in waves and waves are emotions that sam has purposed to distance his soul from. he cannot relate, even if he tries. so instead, he decides to foolishly trust knox in this realm.

that plea to be held is not ignored. sam is quick to wrap around knox, to comfort him, and to brush his thumb along that false smile before curling his torso fully around his boyfriend’s.

”we’ve been hiding away and doing nothing for too long… i know you don’t want to leave summer, but what difference would it make being here and being in kanto? in both hiding places, we’re not doing anything but hiding.”

his arguement wasn’t meant to rile knox and the calm tone in which it is delivered proves as much. he’s just trying to understand the logic in forcing himself to stay here and do nothing, verses being somewhere else and doing nothing different. in both instances, do the actions change?

would staying here with him cause knox to act? he already has a plan laid out… but he’ll gladly manipulate his own plan to make it seem like it was knox’ idea, not his own.

knox prescott

sam comes closer and appeals to knox's wants. so knox sinks into him with a sigh, nuzzling his nose into his neck. only, his lashes flutter back open and his mouth tilts back down. more than a frown. it's a grimace. an annoyed grimace. 

he doesn't want to be annoyed. he knows sam just wants to help him. sam just wants what's best for him. sam wants him happy. sam, sam, sam - always doing everything for knox. treating him like a kid with a scraped bruise. 

chiding. thinking he knows what's best. 

but he doesn't know. you don't know, sam. you don't fucking know anything. don't know what he's done or what he'd do or - 

and he's shaking, angry because he wants to say all of it and angry because he can't and angry because he's angry for all the wrong reasons. 

"fine," he says, voice a whisper. "fine, sam. let's....let's go. let's get away from here."

samuel carter

☉

the way in which knox agrees causes sam to frown. this was not ever how he wanted knox to act… but perhaps others had been right before.

maybe he needs to force knox into doing what is good for knox. but it felt wrong. it felt manipulative.

to this end, even this ‘win’ feels like such a loss.

”we’ll get packed and head out as soon as we’re ready.”

so much would happen when they leave. sam’s plan would be put into action. Summer Atreides would end up getting to a safe place at a specific time. a specific time when mr. prescott would be home. a home that would be turned into a house of horrors. horrors where mr. prescott was the one mistreated. but it won’t stop just an inch before death. no, the mistreatment would be mr. prescott’s entrance into the underworld.

leaving no evidence behind was simple. a houndoom’s saliva could incinerate pure steel; the flesh and bones of a mortal man with too much power? child’s play.

instructed to leave nothing but the man’s head behind, sam’s pokémon would then return back to mt. pyre. mt. pyre where they would await sam’s return.

knox prescott

now he's really running, but he chose this, right? he chose to let summer take the brunt of it. and she's still out there, playing his sweet, little plaything while he's none the wiser. until he is. and what happens then, knox? what happens then, when your sister gets hurt and it's all your fault. 

he grits his teeth. i'm a fucking coward. but all these years, he's perfected playing pretend. he hasn't had to. not for a while. not since sam. 

but old habits die hard and so he puts on that smile and forces himself to relax, draws sam in as close as he can. he kisses his neck - soft and sweet and sighs against him, relaxing. giving in. being okay with this. 

"okay," he says. "let's go get packed." he draws back, gives sam a half-hearted smile. "will she be okay with us showing up unannounced?"

samuel carter

☉

the kiss feels good. being drawn in close feels good. it’s not so much a physical reaction for sam as it is that his soul feels at rest this close to knox’.

that’s really what it is. the physical bits, they have to happen, so that sam’s soul can be as close to knox’ as humanly possible.

but then knox asks him if they should have given gwen more warning—was he kidding? he had to be.

”knox she’s been waiting to meet you since she called and i first mentioned you months ago.”

perhaps he hasn’t mentioned it as much as he thought he had. that was normal for sam, forgetting to mention something having thought he mentioned it and then getting whisked away in work and not putting two and two together.

”i can just call her on the way. it’ll take us long enough to get to her, she can clean the house up. that’s all she’ll really want to fuss about anyway.”

she’s one of those women who equate their worth to the cleanliness of their house; but only when people are over.

knox prescott

"months ago, huh?" he grins that boyish smile of his and kisses sam on the cheek. his hand drops, but it finds sam's - fingers twine together and he exhales. just keep it up. keep it up and eventually it'll be okay. just ignore it. just ignore it all and eventually it'll be fine, knox. 

he sighs and he takes the time to tilt his head back, to look up at the stars. why does it feel like they haven't done that in so long?

"what's the sleeping situation like? am i gonna get to bone you in your childhood bed?"

samuel carter

☉

that question is the first indication that something isn’t right.

sam stops to look at the stars as well, but those words linger in his head and make him frown. the idea that they’d have sex in his childhood bedroom doesn’t bother him and he wonders, with that scrunched frown, if it should.

”probably. i won’t be embarrassed if my mother hears you in the louder moments.”

his own grunts and moans could get pretty loud, but he doesn’t think twice about it. instead just looks back to knox and at his side profile.

because he wants this for knox, he doesn’t ask if knox is okay. he can tell that knox isn’t okay. but he will be.

you will be, soon, i will make sure of it.

knox prescott

okay. okay, god. ew. god. ew. instant regret. his nose scrunches and he tries to sponge the whole scenario out of his brain as quickly as he can. he'd been half joking when he said it, but to bring up the fact that she'll be able to hear and sam wouldn't mind? 

honestly, probably cause enough to halt whatever the hell they're doing and make sure there isn't any funny business up in sam's brain. but knox knows there is and it's not because sam has some weird incestual fetish. he's just, er, built different.

"how are we getting all the way to kanto? can't exactly hop on the prescott private jet."

samuel carter

☉

different’s a good word for it and at least knox knows he’s not some sick fuck. he’s just, yes, different.

he doesn’t mind because if his mother doesn’t want to hear his mother can turnt he volume up on whatever she’s watching or listening to. why would sam have to force himself to be quiet?

but the subject changes and he’s thinking about his route to kanto.

”well, i usually take the fairies and ships like normal people. we can teleport a good portion but, it’ll be nauseating and i figured you wouldn’t want to do that. we can get some sight seeing in while we’re on our way there.”

knox prescott

knox, your rich kid is showing. of course there are other ways than private jets to get to kanto. like, a dozen other ways. and it won't be as fast or private or whatever, but that doesn't really matter. sam will carry their luggage for them (because he's stronger and knox doesn't really have much anyway) and they'll hold hands and stand by the ferry's railing and knox will watch hoenn fade into the distance.

like a bad dream. 

he smiles the smile that doesn't touch his eyes, but that's okay. he's careful to keep them away from sam. 

"sure," he says. "we'll go sightseeing." i'll leave my sister a broken fucking mess with merrick and we'll go sightseeing. 

he walks past sam, but he takes his hand as he goes, and starts their way back up the mountain. "c'mon. gotta find captain wherever she is and get to packing."

samuel carter

☉

oh it’s going to be a long vacation.

hopefully they’d get distracted. hopefully he would be able to get knox away long enough that knox could get his mind off of things. because as it is, knox is pointedly not getting his mind off of things. instead, he is purposefully trying not to think about things he’s not supposed to think about.

sam can tell because he recognized the smile. the polite smile that holds no weight. the way knox takes his hand without lacing their fingers.

but maybe he’s paranoid. maybe he’s paranoid and he needs to chill out.

”i can have aether take a look around.” sam suggests, glancing around before furrowing his brows. because he was distracted. he was wondering if he should have just … let knox win. let knox do what he wanted. allowed knox the power of control to keep him comfortable.

but how else would he grow? or get better?

it was all a muddled mindset and he was picking at the sides of his nails to prove how stressed he was about it all.

knox prescott

something's not right with sam either, but that doesn't surprise him. and he's putting too much work into keeping up his own facade to try and assess the damages right now. so he just keeps holding his hand and looking where he's going so he doesn't trip on a loose rock or something dumb while they climb. 

turns out a healthy amount of time of sobriety and some consistent exercise makes one a little leaner. he's barely out of breath by the time they reach the top. 

when they do, he draws away from sam, saying, "nah, don't worry about it. i'm sure she's raiding your cupboards or something.

"go on. you start getting our shit. i'll go find her." he kisses his cheek quickly and then walks away, feeling jittery. he really does go in the kitchen looking for captain. on his way, he slows past the view of mt. pyre. remembers the first time he'd gotten stuck there, following sam to make breakfast for their first...date? is that what that was?

"cap, you in here?" he calls as he makes his way to the kitchen. the pikachu's heart-shaped tail is sticking out from a cupboard left ajar. he glances at some rubber gloves in the sink, dons them, and then yanks her down.

she doesn't give way easily and the shock comes as expected. cookie crumbles fall from the corner of her mouth and knox sighs, setting her down. but as soon as he does, she scampers right back up and slaps at the cupboard. 

"you've had enough, cap! oh. what ya got?" she waves her paw proudly and drops something in his hand. 

a parachute of molly, cinched and ready to drop. 

samuel carter

☉

the kiss on the cheek spreads a warmth through him that he wishes wouldn’t be there while he’s trying to figure out what to do and say.

but it’s there, and it’s bleeding into his soul and calming him down. he’s already forgiven knox, not that he thinks he’ll ever get an apology. and half of him wants to cancel the trip. the same half of him that doesn’t want to put his foot down and doesn’t want to confront knox in fear of making him mad or making him leave and go off with summer on a bender … again.

while his brain spirals through several thoughts, he silently packs the bags. he’s packing the essentials and leaving the clothes up to knox, because he is picky about his own clothes and doesn’t want to step on knox’ toes when it comes to the clothes.

once again, being more paranoid than proactive. a constant for him.

the truth of it is, he cannot control how knox with react and he cannot control if knox will storm away from him or not. what he can control is what he does, to hopefully prevent those outbursts, he would rather buckle and do what knox wants over what he wants.

he doesn’t even realize he’s just staring at their toothbrushes in his bathroom, and has been, for several minutes.

knox prescott