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i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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TAG WITH @penelope

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2023 6:34:49 GMT

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Again, her eyes squeezed close.
[break][break]
For as much as she loves (loved?) him, it was painful having to explain every little detail. Especially when it felt so blatant.
[break][break]
"Because," she breathed, eyes kept to the ceiling, fingers kept in the curves of her blanket, skin freshly pale with the hesitation of confessing to your ex. "Because it hurts. Seeing you hurts me."
[break][break]
She paused. As much as she wanted to leave it there and allow him to pick the shattered feelings of her broken heart, Penelope knew better. There was no worse answer to doubt than silence. She would know.
[break][break]
"Whenever you look at me, whenever I look at you..."
[break][break]
Pain wrinkled her face. The walls of her hotel were slowly closing in, drawing out the dwindling breath from her lungs as suffocation became her only option. Breathless, the clutch on her blanket tightened.
[break][break]
"I'm reminded of how much i hate myself. How much I fucking threw away."

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] CIAN MAHER[break]

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triple h

he/him

twenty-seven

september 14th

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688 height

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2023 7:01:57 GMT

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[attr="class","cianbase"]

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this isn't the first time where he finds himself in this position where he looks to comfort his cheating partner. the first time was far rougher than this one as he hadn't matured enough to have a better grasp on his feelings.[break][break]

back then, he blamed himself, and now, he knows that not all of the blame is on him.[break][break]

"i'm sorry."[break][break]

still, there's a part of him that believes that it is. that maybe if he had been a better partner, she wouldn't have ended up doing what she did.[break][break]

"it hurts me as well and i'm sure it will hurt me for the rest of my life, but it's okay."[break][break]

he speaks kindly.[break][break]

"you did what you did and that's the end of it. we can't change that, so the most we can do is accept it and try to move on."[break][break]

PENELOPE LIVY[break]

[attr="class","cian3"]

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played by

Captain

Penny, the coveted

She/her

September 25

Petalburg

heterosexual

HBIC Director

Council

5'6" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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TAG WITH @penelope

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2023 7:15:55 GMT

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But it wasn't that simple, was it?
[break][break]
The vilest part of this all, deep down, the pits of her twisted guilt didn't spring from the loss of the love they'd shared. It was complicated, sure, but she knew well that these feelings weren't this raw, this gnawing, in the aftermath of their last conversation. It wasn't until recently that they'd set their jaws on her.
[break][break]
"Don't apologize."
[break][break]
Her murmur had become a harsh whisper. More bitting than kind.
[break][break]
"I'm the one who's sorry. Fuck, I'll always be sorry, Cian."
[break][break]

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played by

noodles

triple h

he/him

twenty-seven

september 14th

rustboro

bisexual

rustboro gym leader

champion (hoenn & vct)

688 height

now come together, come apart

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2023 7:23:09 GMT

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it has become second nature to apologize but she's right. he has no reason to be sorry.[break][break]

"i'm not ready to say i forgive you just yet but i will one day. soon, probably. i'm like, this close to getting over it."[break][break]

he pinches his fingers together, leaving the smallest of gaps. his smile is visible behind it.[break][break]

"anyways, what got you so down at the grocery store? you hadn't even run into me yet and you looked rough."[break][break]

PENELOPE LIVY[break]

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played by

Captain

Penny, the coveted

She/her

September 25

Petalburg

heterosexual

HBIC Director

Council

5'6" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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TAG WITH @penelope

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2023 17:06:18 GMT

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Silence fell onto her. As much as she wanted to laugh and accept his answer as it was, she couldn't.
[break][break]
Ignoring all else, she rolled over, finally meeting his gaze with heavy eyes bearing the world's burdens and more. Now enclosed in this tiny corner, he would be able to see the devastation of heartbreak on her features. In wide-spanning strokes, they painted a story more vivid than any confession she had ever unveiled to him. They spoke the words that'd always be left unsaid.
[break][break]
"How? How are you this kind to me?"
[break][break]
Self-promises of strength were vanquished by the brimming light of the other's uncompromised compassion. Did he always shine so brightly around her?
[break][break]
"After what I did to you-- Be angry with me! Yell at me. Do something."

[break][break]

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played by

noodles

triple h

he/him

twenty-seven

september 14th

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688 height

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2023 19:09:48 GMT

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"oh, i don't think i'm very kind."[break][break]

hurt leaks through the way he chuckles, unable to be held back any longer when met with her heavy gaze.[break][break]

"what do you want me to say, penny? that, yeah, what you did was fucked up and it's going to mess with me for the rest of my life along with any future relationships i might have. but what's the point in saying that to you?"[break][break]

he pushes his back off the wall and approaches, showing care and concern.[break][break]

"i've spent weeks crying my eyes out. i don't think i've ever cried that much, actually. but i'm not going to give you shit about it now."[break][break]

PENELOPE LIVY[break]

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played by

Captain

Penny, the coveted

She/her

September 25

Petalburg

heterosexual

HBIC Director

Council

5'6" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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TAG WITH @penelope

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2023 19:39:12 GMT

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"Why not?!"
[break][break]

Selfishness was a cruel veil. More than the hurt Cian shared, her attention kept locked onto the words Penelope begged to be finished with.
[break][break]

Validation for the self-pity that lingered– if only he could confirm what she truly felt, then maybe waking up wouldn't feel so damn hard every day. Maybe she would finally be granted the strength to give up.

[break][break]

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played by

noodles

triple h

he/him

twenty-seven

september 14th

rustboro

bisexual

rustboro gym leader

champion (hoenn & vct)

688 height

now come together, come apart

awards

4,048 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2023 19:46:52 GMT

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"because whatever you're feeling now, whatever thoughts you might be having, they're not necessarily true. actually i'd bet that the majority of them aren't."[break][break]

he speaks from experience.[break][break]

"i'm not going to give you shit because you don't deserve that."[break][break]

throwing caution out the window, he reaches a hand to her face to wipe at tears, whether wet or dry doesn't matter.[break][break]

"you deserve good things, penny, because you're a good person. mistakes happen but that doesn't change the fact that you're one of the best people i know."[break][break]

PENELOPE LIVY[break]

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played by

Captain

Penny, the coveted

She/her

September 25

Petalburg

heterosexual

HBIC Director

Council

5'6" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

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DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @penelope

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2023 20:02:31 GMT

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Every door has its key. However rusty it may become, or brittle from age, as long as it fits and is twisted as designed, the lock would find itself open.
[break][break]

And like that, Cian's hushed words had forced open the door of Penelope's beating heart.
[break][break]

"Cian--"
[break][break]

His name choked her, regret and guilt spilling from her eyes in ravines polluted with self-afflictions.
[break][break]

Caution never crossed her mind as she reached for his arm, tugging him into her, so that maybe, for just a second, she could feel the soothing warmth of his touch. Her eyes pleaded to him.
[break][break]

"Please."
[break][break]

Just this once.

[break][break]

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played by

noodles

triple h

he/him

twenty-seven

september 14th

rustboro

bisexual

rustboro gym leader

champion (hoenn & vct)

688 height

now come together, come apart

awards

4,048 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2023 20:13:55 GMT

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"i—"[break][break]

he really shouldn't. even if he seems fine now he's still on unstable grounds that are susceptible to break at any given moment. all that is needed for the extra weight is, well, her.[break][break]

"okay."[break][break]

with a small smile, he obliges, following her tug to slip into the spot beside her, craving her warmth so desperately.[break][break]

they fit like pieces of a puzzle except their sides have altered slightly, making them an imperfect fit.[break][break]

but the familiarity of it all envelops him.[break][break]

he nuzzles into her.[break][break]

"i got you."[break][break]

PENELOPE LIVY[break]

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played by

Captain

Penny, the coveted

She/her

September 25

Petalburg

heterosexual

HBIC Director

Council

5'6" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

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DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @penelope

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2023 20:27:39 GMT

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There was no limit to how much she would take.
[break][break]

With a breath of relief, she pulled him close, head immediately finding its place along the side of his chest. There she buried herself, as she'd done so many times before, and allowed the tears to pour.
[break][break]

"Cian," she murmured, her cries muffled against the wrinkles of his shirt. There was no stop to the shuddering that overtook her shoulders, nor the quiver of her lip.
[break][break]

Even if they longer fit, even if the further she dug the more their pieces began to bend and break, Penelope was determined to make it work for just one last night.
[break][break]

"I've missed you so much."

[break][break]

More than him, she missed the support he provided. The love he offered her.
[break][break]

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played by

noodles

triple h

he/him

twenty-seven

september 14th

rustboro

bisexual

rustboro gym leader

champion (hoenn & vct)

688 height

now come together, come apart

awards

4,048 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Mar 24, 2023 20:38:34 GMT

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even if they don't fit, he'll take it. he'll take anything he can get because he has no idea if there will ever be a next time. they have to set boundaries eventually. even if he finds so much comfort in her, he knows he can no longer commit to her, at least not without serioid work and time.[break][break]

for now, this works, and he revels in her presence.[break][break]

"i've missed you as well. so fucking much."[break][break]

tears well up in his eyes too as he whispers, worried that if he speaks too loudly it would be enough to shatter this moment.[break][break]

"i miss falling asleep next to you. i miss our obnoxious alarms in the morning. i miss doing everything with you. i know i probably shouldn't be saying those things but i do. fuck, i do."[break][break]

PENELOPE LIVY[break]

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played by

Captain

Penny, the coveted

She/her

September 25

Petalburg

heterosexual

HBIC Director

Council

5'6" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

2,914 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @penelope

POSTED ON Mar 26, 2023 16:36:34 GMT

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Penelope crumbled beneath the fragility of the moment. Arms coiling around his, shoulders shuddering, she listened to his soft whispers as the tears continued to helplessly fall down her puffy cheeks.
[Break][break]
How could someone love her like this?
[Break][break]
Why did she throw it all away?
[Break][break]
Ache squeezed her chest and suffocation became inevitable. Everything was too much at once but also not enough.
[Break][break]
"I miss your dumb jokes and smiles," she tried chuckling, but it came out a dried, curt mess. "I miss your random TikTok links. I miss watching movies til 1am together. I miss so much. So fucking much."
[Break][break]
For as much as she whispered between silent sobs, it was all done to avoid the three words hanging off the edge of her tongue. They terrified her more than future laying beyond this hotel room. They were everything she wished to scream, yet kept locked away.
[Break][break]
'don't leave me.'
[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] CIAN MAHER[break]

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played by

noodles

triple h

he/him

twenty-seven

september 14th

rustboro

bisexual

rustboro gym leader

champion (hoenn & vct)

688 height

now come together, come apart

awards

4,048 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Mar 26, 2023 16:40:37 GMT

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he blinks, breaking the dam. tears drip down the side of his face only to be smeared across by a shrugging shoulder, quick and absent in gesture.[break][break]

the chuckle he returns is pure.[break][break]

"you can still have the tiktok links if you unblocked me from tiktok."[break][break]

he's actually not sure if she has him blocked or not but he jokes about it all the same.[break][break]

"i still love you, penny. i need you to know that i do and that i'll never stop loving you."[break][break]

but things aren't the same anymore, and they never will be.[break][break]

PENELOPE LIVY[break]

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played by

Captain

Penny, the coveted

She/her

September 25

Petalburg

heterosexual

HBIC Director

Council

5'6" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

2,914 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @penelope