Sure enough, break time's over.

You don't know who this lady is, nor do you know who she thinks she is, to be interrupting your relaxation like this. Luckily, that little badge told you all you needed to knew - She's the enemy. She's League, and you're Rocket, and by the rules of nature, one of you has to kill the other. Such is the nature of the glorified gang war you signed up to. Was getting to see another dimension really worth becoming a pawn in a power scheme so thoroughly beyond your comprehension?

Yes, and the answer isn't even close. Compared to all the withering drones back in Spikemunth, you're practically king of the world right now. As long as you can find a nice souvenir to commemorate your trip to the other side, you'll be more than glad to have been a foot soldier fed into the meatgrinder of petty conflict. Though, to that end, surviving is quite necessary, and if you want to survive, you'll have to overcome the woman in front of you, and her grizzly-looking mutt, too.

The bad news is, said mongrel is a problem. It's already out of its ball, and its already on high alert. You're not going to be able to get anything past that thing, no matter how hard you try. The goods news is, you can't say the same thing about its owner. No, the girl is either naïve or stupid, because she didn't immediately jump you the instant she laid eyes upon you. No, she seems to be under the impression that you're an average joe, caught in the crossfire, in desperate need of rescue. Just one of a thousand reasons why tossing that ugly little "R" pin they gave you in the garbage was such a swell idea.

So, it's time to put on the show. You like to think yourself more a rockstar than an actor, but hey, there's plenty of actors with habits just as bad as yours, right? And while they're making blockbusters, all you need to do is scam one idiot. You can pull this off, easy...

"Ah, yes, ma'am, that would seem to be the case." You mumble, putting on the dodgiest Hulbury accent you can muster as you pull yourself to your feet, turning to address the woman. "But, hm, hah, y'see ma'am... I can't leave just yet. Y'see, one of my Pokemon slipped the leash and I cannae find 'im for the life of me... Proper small bugger, he is, real quick type... Could'ya help me look for 'im? Please, ma'am..."

---

Lydia Magnusson

Perfect. Not only is she an idiot, but she's gullible, too. If it weren't for the mutt following her around, you'd practically have this as good as won. Unfortunately, you don't, and that prick of a dog is standing between you and your cheap spot. Still, it could be worse. She still doesn't know you're bad news, and she bought your little lie about the missing Pokemon. You've got wriggle room. All you've got to do is find an opportunity and capitalise.

"Yes, ma'am, of course, ma'am."

So, you feign obedience, following along behind her and towards the exit. You don't want to wait too long, though. No, just a few seconds, enough that the Lucario is far enough away, enough that the Lycanroc to turn its gaze elsewhere, enough for the girl to get distracted with the prospect of navigating the caves.

Enough for you to take a step, to put her between you and her guard dog. Will her Pokemon be so eager to rip out your neck if it has to run through its trainer to do it? That's the gamble you're making. Granted, it's a cheap trick, but given the circumstances, why get expensive? There's no need for it. You've got the shot, now you just have to take it...

"Poison Jab."

The order leaves your mouth before Toxtricity even leaves its Pokeball, but by the time it does, its claw is already surging towards her neck, ready to win the fight before it even starts.

---

Lydia Magnusson

"Hm."

You hadn't been expecting that. It seems like you've majorly underestimated this woman. Or maybe you've just majorly overestimated Toxtricity? Watching your Pokemon get flung to the ground stings a lot more when it's coming from a human, rather than a Throh. It's like seeing the behind-the-scenes of a movie. Really kills the mystique, y'know?

"Poor form, mate. Try harder next time, yeah?"

The lizard growls in response as it scrambles to its feet. You assume it's some kind of excuse, but honestly, you have no idea. You flunked out of your Languages course, among many others, but even then, you still get the gist. There's a certain tone to that snarl that tells you all you need to know.

But your sordid academic career and the intonation of your Pokemon are both secondary to the fact that there's a giant dog about to maul you like you're a Meowth slathered in bacon fat. Taking it head-on seems ill-advised, and unlike your opponent, you don't know your Judo well enough to throw it off like it's nothing. You need a plan, a smart one, or you're getting pasted across the floor.

But critical thinking was never much your strong suit, was it? Because if a fucking pig can do it, then you can too, and you can do it bigger, better, and flashier than any copper ever could.

So, with the split second of time available to you, you raise your leg and leap upward, aiming to counter the speeding mass of savagery and rock with the world's sloppiest jumping knee strike. For most people, this is the stupidest move possible. Even attempting it is unspeakably stupid. It simply doesn't work on so many different levels. But you? You're Shred Zeppelin. You do the unthinkable and perform the impossible. So, you clash with the attack, and--

CRASH!

--Are immediately sent flying backward, crashing through several colourful crystals, and into a wall. And you know what? It fucking hurts. It hurts so fucking bad. It's unreal.

But it was so cool, wasn't it?

You hear a panicked yelp and panicked scurrying towards your direction. That's probably Toxtricity, isn't it? Man. This is not the best work of your lovable duo act. Plan A and Plan B have both failed tremendously. So, as you lay on the floor, bruised and batter and in extreme pain, you try your very best to think of Plan C.

---

Lydia Magnusson

"I guess... I guess it's funny, huh...? It really does seem like I've lost... Doesn't it...?"

It's a redundant thing to say, but you're not talking because you want to. No, the only reason you're speaking right now is to buy yourself time to think. Every second counts, because you're outgunned and outmatched, but that doesn't mean you're outdone. You may be down, but you're not out, because you're going to get out, because you're not laying down for anyone. A sensible grunt might cut their losses and accept defeat, but that's not how you roll. No matter how dire the situation gets, Shred Zeppelin never gives up. After all, if you did, what kind of role model would you be to your soon-to-be-adoring public?

It's easy to see this is an uphill battle. Your body is totalled, which'll make running difficult, and Toxtricity doesn't match up well against either Lycanroc or Lucario, which means going down swinging is off the table, too. The situation seems bleak, but when you think about it, isn't that the saving grace of this mess? You're already fucked, and that means the gloves are off.

So it's time to take the biggest risk you can.

"BOOMBURST, NOW!"

Without hesitation, Toxtricity complies. Over the course of a second, his entire body tenses up, before an ear-bursting cacophony tears free from his throat. The colourful crystals vibrate and shatter, sending dozens of shards exploding out in all directions like shrapnel. The ceiling cracks under the sudden pressure, and stalactites come crashing down to the ground and sending out plumes of dust and debris. That is to say nothing of how viscerally unpleasant a noise it is to hear. Damaging? No, not particularly, but distracting? Yes, the carnage of sight and sound that it kicked up is just the spectacle you needed right now.

The bad news is you won't be running far like this. The good news is, you don't have to. Amongst the havoc, Toxtricity practically tackles you, sending you both tumbling for a moment, before the lizard regains his footing and begins to sprint towards the nearest exit, dragging you along with it. Even now, you can feel its pace quicken as it Shifts Gears, the ability to outrun his pursuers becoming the sole priority. Is he fast enough to outrun that Lycanroc? Maybe he is. Maybe he isn't. All that matters is that you keep running until you're in the clear.

So, the two of you flee. Trainer and Pokemon, humiliated and defeated, fleeing from a fight, but alive and free. If nothing else, you both share that same cockroach-like survival instinct, that inherent urge to keep living in spite of an overwhelming lack of ability, talent, or skill. It's hardly admirable, but in this instance, you're glad for it.

So, you leave the battlefield behind. This can only be called an absolute defeat, but all things considered, you don't hate it... Not yet, anyway. The consequences of this failure are an issue for the Shred Zeppelin of the future. The present Shred Zeppelin, however, is content.

---

Lydia Magnusson

THREAD MP TOTAL:
10 x 5 MP = 50FP for IC Posts.
100 MP for completing a mission.
150 MP for completing a battle.
50 MP for participation in a battle/mission.
300 MP for tying the battle.
Total - 650 MP