"Yeah... Yeah! We can get it back. We HAVE to get it back!"

From denial to anger, you now move onwards to bargaining. Yeah, of course! Just because there was a cave-in, that doesn't mean that your phone was destroyed. It could be in there somewhere, hidden between a crack in the rocks or buried under some dirt. All you have to do is find it. It's not too late! You can still save Flappy Pidgey!

"Golurk, get back in there!" You cry out, looking away from Howard and pointing a finger towards the gigantic construct. "Start digging! We need to find my phone, STAT!"

...REJECTION: I cannot oblige your command.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! Why not, you stupid slab of rock? We don't have time for you to give me guff! WE NEED TO RESCUE FLAPPY PIDGEY!"

ANALYSIS: My empathy receptors are detecting a 91.5% coping percentile in your tone of voice. EXPLANATION: Due to safeguardings measures in my programming, I physically cannot adhere to any action that exceeds the delusion threshhold of 80% or higher. CONCLUSION: Your mobile telephone is likely crushed by a boulder. It would be best to simply buy a new one.

...And like that, you sink down from bargaining and down to the depths of depressions.

"...It's SO OVER, HOWARD. It's SO, SO, SO OVER. It has NEVER been more OVER in my ENTIRE LIFE. IT'S. SO. FUCKING. OVER."

---

howard slayte

Howard fell to his knees. They were so fucked. The conversation that Shred and his Golurk were holding was a masterpiece that historians would forever study. It'd go right next to Chaesher crossing Nugget Bridge over two thousand years ago. Granted, he couldn't understand half of it, but it was clear from what Howard was hearing that it wasn't going to well for Team Showered (name pending).

"GOLURKGOLURKGOLURKGOLURK"

Shred screaming.

"GOLURKGOLURK. GOLURK: GOLURK GOLURK."

Shred crying.

Flappy Pidgey would become a lost piece of media. A lost artifact that historians would debate over for eternity. That was, unless Howard and Shred could salvage this phone. There had to be a way. Unfortunately, the way was blocked under about thirty thousand tons of stone. The only place that phone could be was back at the site of the crystal.

"Shred..." Howard said faintly, gently tapping the feral man on the shoulder, then pointing at the bag of tera crystals Howard had dragged out of the cave. In it was enough money to pay their hospital bills, plus the mandatory tip. "Shred! We're gonna make it. It's NEVER over, as long as we have hope. And money. And the copious amounts of alcohol we can buy with money. Shred... I need a hospital, Shred. So do you. I'm pretty sure two ribs are broken."

Howard frowned as he inclined his head.

"Three. I'm gonna die now." Howard collapsed in a heap.

---

Shred

"Yeah..."

You don't even sound like you really believe it, but after the day you've had, can you really be blamed? This was a near-unmitigated disaster, and it's only "near" because you managed to get out with a few Tera shards, and that'll probably pay out enough for you to drown your sorrows. But you've already moved on from depression to acceptance - Flappy Pidgey is gone. You'll never experience that dopamine-pumping gameplay loop ever again, until you reunite in the kingdom of Heaven.

Or, more likely, Hell. You've done a lot of crime in your lifetime, and Arceus knows that Flappy Pidgey was probably responsible for a few dozen car crashes, and at least a few of those were probably manslaughters.

"Golurk, pick him up. We're leaving..."

Wordlessly, the golem picks up the limp body of Howard, and the both of you begin the long walk back to daylight...

...Huh. Your Amigo profile was also on that phone, wasn't it...?

...FUCK.

---

howard slayte