under my skin

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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played by

milky

jayden
he/him
28
december 25
ballonlea, galar
bisexual
wyndon ceo
admin
we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter
awards
4,484 posts
jayden cross DOLLARS
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SPEED
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TAG WITH @jayden
jayden cross
under my skin
POSTED ON Jul 23, 2023 17:35:02 GMT
jayden cross Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","jaytop"]
[attr="class","littlejay"]

"jay."

[break][break] jayden stumbled home in a daze. even hours after he'd already left evergrande, had shaken the sticky feeling of deceit and deception and league off his bones, his head remained fuzzy. thoughts of were like static buzzing in his ears, surrounding him like a blanket.

[break][break] "i think i was in love with you once."

[break][break] how? why? when?

[break][break] why was it that had decided to tell him such a thing now, when he was happy and over him? why was it that had wanted to tell him now, when he was stuck in evergrande and jayden was —

[break][break] "i'm sorry I hurt you."

[break][break] was he? it didn't seem possible. if he was sorry, then why hadn't they talked about this before? in fact, had been mostly dant even since his resurrection. not that jayden blamed him. after all, the ex-underboss had been busy; dying was dirty work, after all. but then he'd suddenly disappeared, and was gone, and then defected to the league — and —

[break][break] "i thought you deserved to know."

[break][break] but did he? this was worse than not knowing. jayden didn't know what to do. was he supposed to tell someone? was he supposed to tell them that chu-e was safe and unharmed, and yet horribly not? was he supposed to say that chu-e wanted to die? that he wanted to kill himself?

[break][break] so lost in his thoughts, jayden stumbled. his foot caught a rock and he stumbled forward, blinking rapidly, suddenly at the sight of who he'd almost fallen into.

[break][break] "i - sorry - i have to - sorry." haphazardly, his hand brushed against her shoulder and he attempted to stumble past her.

[break][break] his thoughts were full of .

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] [break]
before pre postdormitum




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played by

nellethiel

Nomi; The Visionary
She/Her
25
November 9
Ecruteak, Johto
Bisexual
Prophetess
Head Scientist
I cannot conceive of a universe
without you in it
5'2" / 157 cm height
5'2" / 157 cm height
Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.
awards
1,636 posts
Naomi Sato DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @nomi
Naomi Sato
under my skin
POSTED ON Dec 4, 2023 16:25:20 GMT
Naomi Sato Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","nomitest8"]
[attr="class","body"]

"Jayden?"[break][break]
He looked ill. Nomi's brow furrowed, and she held out a hand to steady him. Though he had run into her, he looked like the one about to fall over. Valerian cocked his head by her heels; unlike 's Sylveon, he did not have the ability to calm minds with psychic energy - ever the vigilant protector, but not necessarily a practiced caretaker.[break][break]
"Stop," Nomi commanded, small in stature but firm in tone. "Take a deep breath. You have to what, exactly?"[break][break]
She had a day's worth of work to do, but in that moment, the wellbeing of her chosen brother mattered far more than any of it.
[break][break][break]

[break]
NOTES – SOCIAL[break]
[break][break]




[attr="class","credit"]




[attr="class","pkmn"]







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[newclass=".nomitest8 .credit"]font-size:13px;[/newclass]
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played by

milky

jayden
he/him
28
december 25
ballonlea, galar
bisexual
wyndon ceo
admin
we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter
awards
4,484 posts
jayden cross DOLLARS
part of
ATTACK
+8
DEFENSE
+4
SPEED
+7
TAG WITH @jayden
jayden cross
under my skin
POSTED ON Dec 6, 2023 16:16:31 GMT
jayden cross Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","jaytop"]
[attr="class","littlejay"]

jayden can barely breathe, let alone notice that it's not a stranger but his sister who he's stumbled upon. his thoughts are swimmming of and the meeting that they just had, the fact that chu-e refused to come home, that chu-e wanted to stay, that chu-e most of all —

[break][break] 'he said he loved me?'

[break][break] now, why would he say that?

[break][break] his body trembles as nomi reached for him, and his eyes snapped — pleading — to his sister's eyes.

[break][break] "i-i don't know," he stuttered. "i just - i can't - "

[break][break] "i can't breathe."

[break][break] was having a panic attack.

[attr="class","ooc"] [break]
before pre postdormitum




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played by

nellethiel

Nomi; The Visionary
She/Her
25
November 9
Ecruteak, Johto
Bisexual
Prophetess
Head Scientist
I cannot conceive of a universe
without you in it
5'2" / 157 cm height
5'2" / 157 cm height
Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.
awards
1,636 posts
Naomi Sato DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @nomi
Naomi Sato
under my skin
POSTED ON Dec 26, 2023 16:51:01 GMT
Naomi Sato Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","nomitest8"]
[attr="class","body"]

Jayden trembled against her, his breathing coming far too fast for comfort. Concern for his wellbeing spiked, and she turned to Valerian with demanding eyes.[break][break]
The Sylveon nudged Jayden with his nose, then targeted the man with a wave of soothing PSYCHIC energy. At the same time, Nomi ran a gentle hand down Jayden's back in what she hoped was a calming gesture. She did not have much of a practice bedside manner, but her heart ached to see Jayden so distressed - it was her care for him that drove her to do what felt right in that moment.[break][break]
"One breath at a time, Jayden. In. Out. In. Out."[break][break]
She tried to show him, pressing in close so he could feel her own chest rise and fall.[break][break]
"You're going to be okay. Everything will be okay. I'm here."
[break][break][break]

[break]
NOTES – SOCIAL[break]
[break][break]




[attr="class","credit"]




[attr="class","pkmn"]







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[newclass=".nomitest8 .pkmn img"]margin:-10px -7px 0px -7px;[/newclass]
[newclass=".nomitest8 .credit"]font-size:13px;[/newclass]
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played by

milky

jayden
he/him
28
december 25
ballonlea, galar
bisexual
wyndon ceo
admin
we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter
awards
4,484 posts
jayden cross DOLLARS
part of
ATTACK
+8
DEFENSE
+4
SPEED
+7
TAG WITH @jayden
jayden cross
under my skin
POSTED ON Feb 3, 2024 7:18:26 GMT
jayden cross Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","jaytop"]
[attr="class","littlejay"]

He shut his eyes.

[break][break] didn't have panic attacks often. In fact, it had been on Hoenn that he had his first one — on those sandy beaches of Slateport City, right in the middle of the Hoenn Star Tournament. He still remembered the way his heart had shattered at the sight of and , the way that they had laughed, the way that 's mouth had curved into a smile and lit up in a way that he had never been able to —

[break][break] But that had been a lifetime ago.

[break][break] Jayden didn't feel that way about him anymore, hadn't for a long time now, and yet —

[break][break] He drops down, fingers clutching winter-white around his knees.

[break][break] Psychic pink energy flowed around him like a blanket, surrounding it in it's soothing embrace. As her small hands rubbed down his spine in a reassuring gesture, he could only think about the way that had comforted him back then.

[break][break] Neither he or Cillian had ever been good at speaking. It was one of the many things that were better at than them.

[break][break] He took a deep, shuddering breath. The admin tried to listen to her as best as he could, fists pressed hard against bone. He trembled still, though her soothing touch aided him in his recovery.

[break][break] "I - I - " He swallowed thickly. "I saw him. I saw Chu-E. He was in Evergrande. Alive, but he - "

[break][break] He said he didn't want to come home, just like .

[break][break] He said it wasn't where he belonged, like .

[break][break] He said that he wanted to die, just like Jayden had, once upon a time.

[break][break] His voice was a quiet whisper, as if it was a treasonous thing to say.

[break][break] "He said he loved me."

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] [break]
before pre postdormitum [break]
after the events of every truth




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played by

nellethiel

Nomi; The Visionary
She/Her
25
November 9
Ecruteak, Johto
Bisexual
Prophetess
Head Scientist
I cannot conceive of a universe
without you in it
5'2" / 157 cm height
5'2" / 157 cm height
Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.
awards
1,636 posts
Naomi Sato DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @nomi
Naomi Sato
under my skin
POSTED ON Feb 3, 2024 12:48:53 GMT
Naomi Sato Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","nomitest8"]
[attr="class","body"]

Chu-E.[break][break]
Nomi did not know that man well, but she knew of him. She knew his...history with Rocket. She'd read his files, discussed him with , had studied the recorded effects of Necrozma's scourge on him. But he had died, so she had eventually put him out of her mind.[break][break]
Except, apparently, he hadn't.[break][break]
And more concerning still - Jayden seemed to have some kind of personal connection to him. One that was causing him a tremendous amount of emotional pain.[break][break]
"He's alive?" Nomi prodded gently. "How did you know it was him?" There were way to impersonate someone; the DRK Triad, for example, had a myriad of illusory tricks up their sleeves.[break][break]
He said he loved me.[break][break]
Nomi's brow furrowed, mouth turning down into a troubled frown. A sudden pang of anger sharpened her awareness.[break][break]
"Why would he say a thing like that to you? Were you...involved, once?"[break][break]
She did not like the idea of someone manipulating her brother's emotions. Jayden might have an iron will - capable of the battle-hardened brutality Rocket coveted - but he was still human.[break][break]
He still had a heart.
[break][break][break]

[break]
NOTES – SOCIAL[break]
[break][break]




[attr="class","credit"]




[attr="class","pkmn"]







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[newclass=".nomitest8 .pkmn img"]margin:-10px -7px 0px -7px;[/newclass]
[newclass=".nomitest8 .credit"]font-size:13px;[/newclass]
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played by

milky

jayden
he/him
28
december 25
ballonlea, galar
bisexual
wyndon ceo
admin
we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter
awards
4,484 posts
jayden cross DOLLARS
part of
ATTACK
+8
DEFENSE
+4
SPEED
+7
TAG WITH @jayden
jayden cross
under my skin
POSTED ON Feb 4, 2024 1:55:45 GMT
jayden cross Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","jaytop"]
[attr="class","littlejay"]

'How did you know it was him?'

[break][break] For a moment, his heart stuttered. Was it possible that it wasn't Chu-E? Was it possible that it was a doppleganger, like the ones that had been appearing as of late? Was it possible that it was —

[break][break] "No," Jayden swallowed. "It was him." His breath was shallow. "I would never - "

[break][break] 'I would never forget him.'

[break][break] As much as he tried to, as much as he wanted to, he couldn't.

[break][break] She asked him if they were involved and Jayden knew the answer. The answer was no. Of course, it wasn't. It had all been a dream built up in his head. had never done anything wrong, not to him, to lead him on. It was just Jayden — foolish, stupid, useless Jayden — who hadn't known any better.

[break][break] The admin breathed in sharply.

[break][break] "No. He wasn't - we weren't - "

[break][break] His voice grew wet.

[break][break] "He gave me a Luvdisc. And I was stupid enough to think it meant anything."

[attr="class","ooc"] [break]
before pre postdormitum [break]
after the events of every truth




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played by

nellethiel

Nomi; The Visionary
She/Her
25
November 9
Ecruteak, Johto
Bisexual
Prophetess
Head Scientist
I cannot conceive of a universe
without you in it
5'2" / 157 cm height
5'2" / 157 cm height
Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.
awards
1,636 posts
Naomi Sato DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @nomi
Naomi Sato
under my skin
POSTED ON Feb 7, 2024 16:31:08 GMT
Naomi Sato Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","nomitest8"]
[attr="class","body"]

Luvdisc were symbols of love, the sort of gift one ought not give lightly - in Nomi's opinion. Her frown deepened.[break][break]
"It would be a cruel gift to give, if his intentions were not romantic," she assessed, matter-of-fact. "You are not to blame for thinking it meant something, Jayden. Don't be so hard on yourself."[break][break]
The human heart was a messy vessel, full of contradictions. Nomi was certainly no expert on the matter; her own crushes had been fraught with confusion, turmoil, and unrequited feelings. She could understand wishing for something to be true even if it wasn't. She could understand how loneliness might convince someone that they were finally wanted.[break][break]
"I'm sorry he hurt you," she murmured softly, taking Jayden's hand in her own and squeezing it. "You deserve to be with someone who will cherish you. Someone who knows what they want."[break][break]
Someone who wouldn't string Jayden along a path that would only end in heartbreak.
[break][break][break]

[break]
NOTES – SOCIAL[break]
[break][break]




[attr="class","credit"]




[attr="class","pkmn"]







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[newclass=".nomitest8 b"]color:var(--accent);[/newclass]
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[newclass=".nomitest8 .pkmn img"]margin:-10px -7px 0px -7px;[/newclass]
[newclass=".nomitest8 .credit"]font-size:13px;[/newclass]
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played by

milky

jayden
he/him
28
december 25
ballonlea, galar
bisexual
wyndon ceo
admin
we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter
awards
4,484 posts
jayden cross DOLLARS
part of
ATTACK
+8
DEFENSE
+4
SPEED
+7
TAG WITH @jayden
jayden cross
under my skin
POSTED ON Feb 8, 2024 6:50:09 GMT
jayden cross Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","jaytop"]
[attr="class","littlejay"]

'you are not to blame.'

[break][break] for as many people that jayden had told this story, it was only who had comforted him. who had assured him that it was not his fault. who reminded him that it was chu-e who had given the gift to him, not the other way around.

[break][break] still, his heart stuttered, his breath hitched as he held back another sob.

[break][break] vaguely, he recognized the feeling of her hands brushing softly against his. his head fell against her shoulder, choking back a cry.

[break][break] "no, i am. i am - i am - "

[break][break] it seemed that 's words had brought another onslaught of feelings, these sharper and drastically different than the rest.

[break][break] guilt.

[break][break] "i love them. fern, i love them."

[break][break] it was the first time that jayden had repeated the words outloud to someone that was not himself, that was not a reminder of his own heart. something someone had whispered deep inside of him since the moment he had met and was always afraid to say outloud, lest his heart break a thousand times more.

[attr="class","ooc"] [break]
before pre postdormitum [break]
after the events of every truth




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played by

nellethiel

Nomi; The Visionary
She/Her
25
November 9
Ecruteak, Johto
Bisexual
Prophetess
Head Scientist
I cannot conceive of a universe
without you in it
5'2" / 157 cm height
5'2" / 157 cm height
Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.
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1,636 posts
Naomi Sato DOLLARS
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Naomi Sato
under my skin
POSTED ON Mar 6, 2024 13:40:25 GMT
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[attr="class","nomitest8"]
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She held him, let him cry into her shoulder, tears staining the delicate fabric of her blouse.[break][break]
She did not judge him for his grief, for allowing it to take hold of him. Sometimes, letting it out was important. He needed to be purged of it, the demons of his past heartbreak exorcised from his heart. It was a cathartic process, if a painful one. She had gone through something similar the day she'd realized her parents were never coming back.[break][break]
But then he mentioned a new name, and Nomi sensed a shift - he was no longer mourning what might have been, but rather, looking ahead - to what might be.[break][break]
"Don't be afraid, Jayden. I think it's a beautiful thing - to be able to love again."[break][break]
Hadn't Rocket become the family she'd needed, when she'd thought she'd lost hers for good? Fern could be the partner Jayden needed, where Chu-E had failed.
[break][break][break]

[break]
NOTES – SOCIAL[break]
[break][break]




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played by

milky

jayden
he/him
28
december 25
ballonlea, galar
bisexual
wyndon ceo
admin
we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter
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4,484 posts
jayden cross DOLLARS
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jayden cross
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POSTED ON Mar 6, 2024 18:25:20 GMT
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[attr="class","jaytop"]
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Was he afraid? Was he?

[break][break] Jayden didn't know what he was. He hadn't spent enough time thinking about it, not in so many words. All he'd thought about was the fact that made him feel warm, that each day spent with them was a little bit like the snickerdoodles that they'd shared in their apartment, that each moment made life just a little sweeter to bear.

[break][break] "Do I tell them?" he murmured, wiping tears from his eyes.

[break][break] He didn't know whether he meant his feelings, or his experience with .

[break][break] Perhaps both.

[attr="class","ooc"] [break]
before pre postdormitum [break]
after the events of every truth




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nellethiel

Nomi; The Visionary
She/Her
25
November 9
Ecruteak, Johto
Bisexual
Prophetess
Head Scientist
I cannot conceive of a universe
without you in it
5'2" / 157 cm height
5'2" / 157 cm height
Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.
awards
1,636 posts
Naomi Sato DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @nomi
Naomi Sato
under my skin
POSTED ON Mar 8, 2024 3:30:33 GMT
Naomi Sato Avatar
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[attr="class","nomitest8"]
[attr="class","body"]

Do I tell him?[break][break]
She'd wondered the same, once, about . But he'd had a girlfriend, so she'd kept her mouth shut. It hadn't been her place to complicate his life, complicate their friendship. She wouldn't have wanted things to become awkward between them. But Jayden and Fern...well, as far as she knew, didn't have anyone else.[break][break]
Fern was good for Jayden, that much she knew. Better than Chue-E could ever have been, perhaps...[break][break]
"You should," she decided. "I think it will feel good to say it. And based on what I've observed...there is a high likelihood that Fern will return your feelings."[break][break]
She smiled encouragingly.[break][break]
"You can trust me on that, I'm a scientist."
[break][break][break]

[break]
NOTES – SOCIAL[break]
[break][break]




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milky

jayden
he/him
28
december 25
ballonlea, galar
bisexual
wyndon ceo
admin
we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter
awards
4,484 posts
jayden cross DOLLARS
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SPEED
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TAG WITH @jayden
jayden cross
under my skin
POSTED ON Mar 8, 2024 4:40:46 GMT
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[attr="class","jaytop"]
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It had felt so long since he'd been able to feel like this. The stop-stutter of his heart whenever looked at him, touched him, saw him for who he was. There was no doubt in Jayden's mind that his feelings strayed far beyond the bounds of simple friendship.

[break][break] 'But you had thought that last time too,' a small voice inside of him whispered. Needling. Wrapping around his throat like a snake, ready to constrict him. 'You had thought that last time and you had been wrong.'

[break][break] But Nomi said he should. That he needed to.

[break][break] Whether it was about his feelings about the thief that had stolen his heart, or the fact that still remained to be a facet of his life that could not be carved away, no matter how much he tried, Jayden trusted his sister's judgement. After all, like she said, she was a scientist.

[break][break] "Okay," he told her, trying to smile. "I trust you, Nomi."

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] [break]
before pre postdormitum [break]
after the events of every truth




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SHIV

GONGAGER
he/him
25
October 13
GONGAGA
gongaga-romantic
gongager
gongago
me?
gongaga
808 height
808 height
WHERE ARE UNOVA REMAKES
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shiv DOLLARS
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shiv
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POSTED ON Mar 9, 2024 4:54:55 GMT
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[attr="class","omacceptedtop"]THREAD COMPLETE!

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The Shula Region
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Celestial Guardians, AU Sailor Moon RP
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Code and Crown: An advanced literate warriors cats RP, set in medieval times
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