MARCH UPDATE

POSTED ON Jul 15, 2019 18:16:42 GMT

to be the cause of turmoil is an unfamiliar feeling. it's one he hasn't quite experienced, at least not in the way that's unfolding right in front of him. she chokes on the lump in her throat; he can hear her sobbing, see her crying, and yet he does not will himself to step forward to embrace her.

this is something the both of them have to feel.

"stormy--"

tears and words continue to pour out of her and like always he stands as her counterpart, her polar opposite in the moment. he's as calm as one can be. the emotions are well-hidden behind his facade. he will allow himself to feel when he's alone, but not when he's with her.

"what is wrong with the things way are now? i like us. i love us. changing that would be a mistake and we both know it. do you really want to spend our engagement and most of our marriage apart? long distance does not work until one of us settles down. and i am not ready to just yet."

he can tell she's angry not at him but at herself. he wishes he has the words reassure her but he doesn't. this situation is out of his control.

"i love you too, stormy. but i will not marry you. at least not right now."

Stormy Silph

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castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

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POSTED ON Jul 15, 2019 19:07:14 GMT

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HIGHER AND HIGHER[break]YOU CHASE IT

IT'S DEEP IN YOUR BLOOD, GO AND TAKE IT

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352 WORDS

WRITTEN FOR
ALEXANDER STONE

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some notes can go heeeeeeeere. it'll scroll if you write enough, which - future me - you will inevitably do because you have no idea how to shut up. ouo

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Just as quickly as her crashing wave of feelings and tears and fear washes over her, it recedes. She seems to figuratively pick herself up and calm herself, taking a few deep breaths and squeezing her eyes shut.[break][break]

She is not a child anymore, crying over some broken toy. Enough is enough.[break][break]

As much as she doesn't want to hear what he has to say, she's too stubborn to walk away. It's awkward, and they're messy, and it stings. But what he's saying means everything to her, because it's what she needs to hear.[break][break]

She needs to hear that she's overstepped, she's jumped the gun, she's gone too far. That neither of them are ready for this big step and that its okay.[break][break]

What is wrong with the way things are now? Nothing. But some primal urge had decided that she didn't want to wait around. Maybe it was her own guilt forcing her to bite the bullet and make this big step. Maybe she was still fighting with her demons and telling herself that if she wore his ring, all of those demons might come to rest.[break][break]

Her thumb brushes across her cheek slowly as she takes in the last bit of his words. Her hands are shaking but not in the same terrified way they had been. Now she's just exhausted.[break][break]

"You're probably right. But I'm tired of always being wrong. Of always making the wrong decision first or saying the wrong thing. This was the one thing I was one hundred per cent confident in."[break][break]

Another deep breath, but her voice is steady because she's taken the time to gather her thoughts.[break][break]

"I have loved you for a very long time, Alexander. Distance was never an issue for me, and I am disappointed to hear you say that. I don't need to settle down, that's not what I was asking of you. I'm not the same little girl who used to get mad over spilt milk or a lost teddy."[break][break]

She readjusts her purse on her shoulder, straightens her posture.[break][break]

"I've waited this long, I guess I can wait a little more."[break][break]

There's a weak smile on her face, but she takes another step back. Her heart is heavy.[break][break]

"Keep it. I think we should both spend some time apart and use that time to think, but I want you to keep the ring. I'm not giving up on you that easily."[break][break]

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WELCOME TO THE WAR WE'VE ONLY BEGUN, SO PICK UP YOUR WEAPON AND FACE IT

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played by

noodles

devon

he/him

twenty-nine

june 12

rustboro

straight

advisor

ex-champion

406 height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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TAG WITH @stone

POSTED ON Jul 16, 2019 11:45:35 GMT

alexander is not easily surprised but what she does next manages to catch him off guard. he fully expects her to be the stormy he knows, to be angry and to voice her thoughts without care. all it takes is a few deep breaths and she composes herself, proving to both herself and to him how much she's grown in the past year.

in a way, it makes it bittersweet.

"it might not be a little more."

she takes another step back and he feels like his words have trouble reaching her.

"hoenn will always be my first priority. i swore an oath to protect it and i intend to uphold it for as long as i can. if and when the time comes where i can say that the region is safe, then, and only then will i be ready to settle down."

but he fears that day will never come. a part of him knows as much; knows that even if everyone else around him has assured him that the region is at peace, that it is finally safe, he will carry on with his duties. until the end of his days.

perhaps it is unfair of him to keep her hopes up.

"as much as i love you i do not want you keep waiting for a future that may never come. you deserve better."

Stormy Silph

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played by

castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

awards

3,978 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @stormy

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2019 17:54:28 GMT

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HIGHER AND HIGHER[break]YOU CHASE IT

IT'S DEEP IN YOUR BLOOD, GO AND TAKE IT

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352 WORDS

WRITTEN FOR
ALEXANDER STONE

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some notes can go heeeeeeeere. it'll scroll if you write enough, which - future me - you will inevitably do because you have no idea how to shut up. ouo

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She knows he's right. Maybe that's why it hurts so much.[break][break]

She had always been bullheaded and spontaneous, never really considering the consequences of her actions. But she's considering them now. The distance she's put between them seems huge. She so desperately wants to be closer.[break][break]

Her feet begin to stop bringing her farther away and she inches forward slowly. She's scared. For some reason, it feels like she's making a mistake.[break][break]

While he speaks, she hesitates in front of him, trying to decide if it's appropriate to reach for his hand.[break][break]

"I understand, Alex. I'm sorry for pushing you, I'm being unfair."[break][break]

It warms her heart to hear him say again that he loves her, but her hands still feel cold. She reaches for his hand, hoping to squeeze it tight and lace her fingers between his.[break][break]

"You've given me more than I deserve. You've been here for me the entire time, I was selfish to ask for more. I do want us to stay the same, I was just scared. I'm sorry, Alex."[break][break]

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WELCOME TO THE WAR WE'VE ONLY BEGUN, SO PICK UP YOUR WEAPON AND FACE IT

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played by

noodles

devon

he/him

twenty-nine

june 12

rustboro

straight

advisor

ex-champion

406 height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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POSTED ON Jul 18, 2019 7:01:56 GMT

she reaches for his hand; her touch is not warm. it is anything but. he does not pull away, perhaps hoping that all it takes is time. he feels the squeeze and involuntarily returns one, lacing his fingers between hers. such an effortless act should feel natural; he's not sure why it doesn't.

"as am i, stormy."

another effortless act comes when he pulls her in for an embrace. he feels her against him, feels his arms around her, his chin on her head; but it doesn't feel the same. perhaps this is the WAKE-UP SLAP he needed to realize the situation they are currently in, and the realization is damning because as much as he loves her, she will never be his first priority.

"as much as i want that too, i realize now that things cannot stay the same. the only way to influence change is with change. my duties will always come first."

he lets her pull away if she wants to. his eyes are heavy and wet with tears that refuse to flow. he takes another breath.

"and you deserve better than that."

Stormy Silph

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played by

castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

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DOLLARS

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POSTED ON Jul 18, 2019 17:24:41 GMT

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HIGHER AND HIGHER[break]YOU CHASE IT

IT'S DEEP IN YOUR BLOOD, GO AND TAKE IT

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352 WORDS

WRITTEN FOR
ALEXANDER STONE

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[attr="class","frphoenotess"]

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some notes can go heeeeeeeere. it'll scroll if you write enough, which - future me - you will inevitably do because you have no idea how to shut up. ouo

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Relief washes over her as he accepts her hand, and eventually pulls her into his arms. If he's stiff or uncomfortable, she doesn't notice it. Her arms wrap around his torso and she presses her ear to his chest, closing her eyes.[break][break]

His words rumble against her cheek, but she only attempts to nuzzle in further. The weight of his chin on her head is comforting, relieving.[break][break]

There's sadness seeping from him, but Stormy refuses to allow him to apologize. It was her who organized this mess, it was her who should be apologizing.[break][break]

"I understand, Alex, and I intend to stand by you every step of the way. You're allowed to want things, too, Alex. You deserve to be happy. We don't have to get married. This isn't the end for us, unless.."[break][break]

She pulls away for a moment, allowing her hands to slide to his waist. Her gaze is strong, the love she has for him powerful in her eyes.[break][break]

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WELCOME TO THE WAR WE'VE ONLY BEGUN, SO PICK UP YOUR WEAPON AND FACE IT

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played by

noodles

devon

he/him

twenty-nine

june 12

rustboro

straight

advisor

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406 height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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POSTED ON Jul 22, 2019 8:00:14 GMT

"it is not."

he says it simply because he knows that all they need is time. there is still love between them; he can feel it in the way she looks at him even as she pulls away. he feels it in her touch, in her voice, and he knows he loves her just the same.

"two weeks."

that is the time he thinks they will need. he speaks, voice soft and tired but still kind. he peers down into her eyes, lets his hands find her waist. heavy eyelids blink away the remains of tears as he tries to smile.

"we both need to take some time to carefully think about our future. what we want, our goals, our aspirations." he pauses. "i believe two weeks apart should be good for us."

his smile is genuine this time.

"can you give me that time?"

Stormy Silph

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played by

castaway

stormy, bronwen

she / her

twenty-five

july 25

saffron city, kanto

heterosexual

elite four

avatar of moltres

1350 height

if you could only see the beast you've made of me

awards

3,978 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @stormy

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POSTED ON Jul 24, 2019 18:29:14 GMT

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HIGHER AND HIGHER[break]YOU CHASE IT

IT'S DEEP IN YOUR BLOOD, GO AND TAKE IT

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352 WORDS

WRITTEN FOR
ALEXANDER STONE

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[attr="class","frphoenotess"]

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some notes can go heeeeeeeere. it'll scroll if you write enough, which - future me - you will inevitably do because you have no idea how to shut up. ouo

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Her breath hitches in her throat. A part of her had been worried she'd wrecked everything, that Alex wouldn't be willing to think things through and they were simply going to pass each other by.[break][break]

Tears form in her eyes, but she fights to keep them at bay. They're tears of relief this time, not of sadness, at least not really.[break][break]

But something else sinks in her heart as he proposes a two week break. The last time a partner of hers had called for a break, it was a break-up in disguise. She fights off the wave of panic, because she has to be strong for him. This isn't the end, he told her so.[break][break]

His hands rest at her waist, a warmth she's so desperate to hold onto. Stormy holds his heavy, half-lidded gaze, braving a smile. [break][break]

"Okay. Two weeks."[break][break]

Her words are shaky, like she's still trying to hold her composure. She meets his smile with her own, nodding once again as he asks if she can give him that time.[break][break]

"Of course I can."[break][break]

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WELCOME TO THE WAR WE'VE ONLY BEGUN, SO PICK UP YOUR WEAPON AND FACE IT