[attr="class","icon"]

leaving for the kitchen couldn’t stop him from listening. his prep work was downright sluggish. he was certainly not paying attention to pancakes — which was strange for him.[break][break]

it was annoying to be woken up like this, but it was especially annoying that willow sat on the couch next to ollie, consoling him in his confusion while he’d only been lonely in dealing with his own.[break][break]

he hadn’t told her in high school. it had been silent and personal, a curiosity just barely explored and then all but abandoned — mostly because he’d pursued her instead, and then he’d never stopped loving her. it had been a nonissue. being bisexual had not felt like such a key part of his identity, anyways.[break][break]

so why now, in this moment, did he feel like he was hiding something?[break][break]

ollie’s words carved through his back to his heart. they’d shared one drunken night and it hadn’t even gotten that far, but he’d been emotional, feeling like the world was going to end that week, and willow would be in someone else’s arms, and his son would probably die mad at him for something. he would have failed both of his brothers and his mother, and never have mended things with his father.[break][break]

he had never felt quite so lonely as he had that week, and ollie had been smiling like an angel.[break][break]

it hurt more because it was so unexpected from someone who seemed so caring.[break][break]

”gee, thanks,” he muttered at him never finding a guy hot. must’ve been drunker than i thought. at least they’d only made out. if only he could take it back.[break][break]

then, through the power of the years he’d spent pining for her, he could hear that willow was prompting him to speak without having to look at her.[break][break]

he set down the pancake mix and turned, looking ollie dead in the eye again with a hurt look.[break][break]

”you really don’t remember? or are you just so ashamed for some reason that you won’t admit that it happened?”[break][break]

[attr="class","olivertop"]

[attr="class","oliver"] it was working. wils always had a way of making him feel better, even when'd he fucked things up beyond imagination.

[break][break] he glances at her, face breaking into a half-smile as she brushes her thumb against his wrist, consoling him the words that he knew that he needed to hear.

[break][break] ollie sighs, running a hand through his hair. "i know. i know you're right - i just, i don't know if it's that i'm afraid of the kiss, what it means, or about our friendship - "

[break][break] was he afraid of GIDEON GRAVES? was he afraid of the kiss?

[break][break] was he afraid of what PENELOPE LIVY might think if she found out?

[break][break] 'you aren't together,' an insidious voice inside his head whispered. 'she'd rather fuck matias than even look your way.'

[break][break] ollie blinked when willow atkins admitted that she had never questioned her sexuality. not that he'd ever really been surprised... he was pretty sure that he'd never seen her look at girls the way that he looked at -

[break][break] "you really don’t remember? or are you just so ashamed for some reason that you won’t admit that it happened?"

[break][break] his head whips around to stare.

[break][break] not at the delicious pancake batter that his fellow ranger captain has whipped up.

[break][break] it doesn't even have to do with the rugged way that boruta maher looks in the daytime, enough to make plenty of girls' heads turn.

[break][break] it didn't even have to do with the way he looked shirtless in the morning, dappled sunlight shifting through the atkins' windows.

[break][break] his throat felt dry.

[break][break] "i... what?"

[break][break] and it was then, all of a sudden, memories came rushing back. the dimly lit bar after splashfest, the sound of idle chitchatter in the distance as they knocked back two microbrews. promises of sky-diving in kalos. deep laughter. the flash of a rougish smile, hands tangled, swollen lips.

[break][break] it wasn't the bar at new years, where he'd gone home with wils.

[break][break] there was a version of this story where ollie could've gone home with bo.

[break][break] a flush suddenly surged rapidly through ollie's neck, as he ripped his hand away from willow's grip, instead to turn fully towards bo.

[break][break] "we kissed."

[break][break] "at splashfest."

[break][break] "at the bar."

[break][break] he was bright red.

[attr="class","ooc"] willow atkins boruta maher

☉

willow's pretty good at reading the back of bo's neck so she notices, as she's talking, that his shoulders stiffen, that he looks uncomfortable. or like something's bothering him. and she attributes it just to the awkward situation at hand, thinks maybe he might share some sentiments that samuel does, but - 

wait, what?

ollie says each line and one after the other, her stomach does little flips. her brows furrow. she doesn't know what she feels as it settles, only that it's a lot. 

and bo looks so hurt. why does he look so hurt?

"you two...? ollie, you...? i..." she draws her hand back. she stands up. she sits down. she looks away from ollie's bright red face and she looks anywhere but at bo and she chews her lip.

her best friend? he kissed her best friend? who is ollie? who is a man? the same best friend who kissed her after she tried to console him when penny broke his heart for the millionth time? 

boruta maher ollie morales

☉

[attr="class","icon"]

he was not always as sure of himself as he wanted to be and seem. things were not so simple, and after all he’d done, there were ever more reasons to be reminded of why the world might label him inadequate, if only they knew who he really was.
[break][break]

damn ollie morales’s confusion, and willow’s hurt, and her thankfully dead father. damn all the mistakes and poor judgment and drama. simplicity was all he wanted. to bury it all for good that did not have to do with a perfect, quiet life in the country.[break][break]

but when would that ever be possible in a region like this anyways?[break][break]

tears welled in his eyes as he was struck by too much else boiling over far too early in the morning. he turned away sharply, sniffing and grabbing up the pancake mix to stir twice as aggressively as before, carrying on as though he’d forgotten what he was doing and was simply going through the motion.[break][break]

”you were with vollans,” he told willow over his shoulder, his tone willfully evening out again, though he could feel the man’s face on his knuckles and stirred harder still.[break][break]

[attr="class","olivertop"]

[attr="class","oliver"] half of him still can't believe it. but there's no avoiding it, because the memories that flood back at him confirm it. the startled look in willow atkins's face as she pulls away from him, the bitterly tense rejection of boruta maher as he turns away from the stove.

[break][break] memories piece together in his mind, and ollie swallows the lump in his throat like it's glass.

[break][break] "it was - " his voice is cut off, blinking as he watches willow stand up from him. look anywhere but at him. it cuts him in a way that he can't expect. she didn't even act like that when he'd kissed her.

[break][break] "wils? ... willow?"

[break][break] he stands up too. the redness in his face gives away to confusion, gives away to guilt.

[break][break] you were with vollans.

[break][break] the deep voice of the other is a sharp reminder that plunges him back into reality.

[break][break] "it didn't mean anything!" he blurts, then his eyes flick back towards the dark-haired man in a flushed panic. "i mean, no, not nothing - it was a good kiss, i think, even though i don't really remember - "

[break][break] oh god. this is going terribly.

[break][break] "i was drunk, okay?"

[break][break] he sits back down when willow does, tearing his gaze away from bo's back and then back to wils. he reaches for her hand again, an attempt to console.

[break][break] "i'm sorry. i shouldn't - i didn't - i'm sorry, wils."

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] willow atkins boruta maher

☉

the words, meant to be an explanation, are like a slap in the face and willow has to bite her tongue before she accidentally explodes on the two of them. her patience is rattled, a little off kilter, but she's the mother of npc roman maher. gods know she's pretty much a saint in the patience department.

"you still kissed my best friend," she says. not as hotly as she could say it, but still.

ollie scrambles too and hearing him bumble about it only makes this all the more humiliating for her. she hangs her head in one hand, spies fingers reaching for her, and snaps her free hand back. her greens are startled, but her astonishment is at her own reaction.

"what's...what's wrong with you! you kiss bo, you try to kiss me, i just - ollie, what is wrong with you?"

boruta maher ollie morales

☉

[attr="class","icon"]

'it didn’t mean anything.’[break][break]

bo crossed his arms, growing more and more offended by ollie’s fumbling.[break][break]

then, he felt a punch from left field. the triangle connected. he’d tried to kiss willow.[break][break]

”wait, what?”[break][break]

hurt and rage and robbed sleep burned in his eyes as he glowered at ollie, wild thoughts and poor decisions running through his mind despite himself. ”oh, man.”[break][break]

looking back at willow, he then began rattling off points in his own defense. ”i didn’t know he was your best friend.” not really. not at the time, at least. ”i thought the world was ending. it was a crazy week, and i was drunk too.”[break][break]

and it hadn’t meant anything.[break][break]

”but it won’t ever happen again, i assure you, because your best friend’s an asshole.” after a split second he thought to add, ”and, because i love you.”[break][break][break]

[attr="class","olivertop"]

[attr="class","oliver"] "wait, what?"

[break][break] "it was a long time ago!" he blurted, eyes shifting wildly from boruta maher to willow atkins both. he wasn't sure why he was trying to defend himself. she and bo weren't even together back then. at least he didn't think so. "it was — it was after penny got together with cian. and when eva was going to marry matias. i was lonely. and drunk. and i just — "

[break][break] he felt his cheeks heat up. even trying to think about it.

[break][break] because your best friend’s an asshole.

[break][break] he blinked.

[break][break] "hey!" he said, defensively, then sunk deeper into the cushion as if he was sulking. "... you don't really mean that, do you?"

[break][break] was he an asshole? was that why he couldn't do anything right? was that why he couldn't be friends with Caleb Harcourt or GIDEON GRAVES? was that why PENELOPE LIVY had left him in the first place?

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] willow atkins boruta maher

☉

willow is stuck ping-ponging between her anger with bo and her anger with ollie, but in the end, ollie, unfortunately, wins out because he kissed her son's father after penny got together with someone. 

bo's brother!

ollie's always been messy when it came to love. she knows this. she's adored it about him. but now that it's here, in her home, and...and he has the gall to get offended when bo calls him an asshole!

her cheeks flood red and her biggest pet peeve about herself creeps outward. when she cries, it's out of anger. 

"stop it! you could have told me! you should have told me! gods, and when we were at the bar?" were ollie's drunk smiles more than that at the bar? didn't he ask them to sleepover? 

"let me make this really simple for you, ollie. you don't want to hurt people? stop kissing your friends!"

ollie morales boruta maher

☉

[attr="class","icon"]

”oh, i mean it.”[break][break]

bed hair flared up on either side like horns made him look wilder with bloodshot eyes. glaring a second longer, bo turned and took up the whisk again. the bowl of batter rocked loudly on the counter as he mixed. if they made it to the pan, they would surely be very chewy pancakes.[break][break]

though he intended to focus on breakfast from there, he was unable to shut it off in the background. he thought back to that night he guessed willow presumably referred to, a deep haze in his memory, but not enough to black out the feel of her skin after years.[break][break]

”no, not that night. it was way before that. before the meteor.”[break][break]

as far as not kissing friends went, bo wasn’t sure of his stance. he didn't care. his stomach growled, and he set aside the whisk, dripping with batter on the counter. there was a clatter of cookware before it went briefly quiet.[break][break]

”will, how hot do you cook pancakes on?”[break][break][break]

[attr="class","olivertop"]

[attr="class","oliver"] "oh, i mean it." [break][break]

"let me make this really simple for you, ollie. you don't want to hurt people? stop kissing your friends!" [break][break]

it's as if a hammer crashes down, pounding what's left of his already faltering heart. Ollie's eyes dart around frantically—first to Bo, then to the simmering pot on the stove, and finally to his best friend. His best friend, whose face is twisted in anger, tears welling in her eyes as she glares at him. willow atkins's angry tears send him teetering off the edge, piercing through him like arrows.

[break][break] none of this is going right, none of it at all.

[break][break] and while willow descends into the thing she hates most about herself, so does ollie:

[break][break] suddenly, he stands.

[break][break] "i.. i..."

[break][break] he's an idiot. bo and willow are right. what the hell is he doing here, asking to consoled by the both of them, when it's his fault everything's fallen apart, just like it always does. when it's his fault that willow is crying now —

[break][break] he swallows hard, guilt and pain both spreading through his chest like wild vines.

[break][break] "i'm sorry. you're both right. i'm an idiot. i should go."

[break][break] because in the end, he's just a coward.

[break][break] he's always going to be the one who runs away.

[attr="class","ooc"] willow atkins boruta maher

☉

what is it with men coming into her life, blowing it up, and then skedaddling before they have to deal with any of the fallout? is it just a man thing? he calls himself an idiot and yeah, he's right, but willow snaps her hand out to grab him by the wrist. 

that's the thing about her anger. it's like flash paper. it burns up real quick. 

"sit down, ollie." gods, she sounds like she's talking to roman. but maybe that's what he needs. hell, maybe that's what she needs right now. to yell at someone who isn't her son. 

"you shouldn't go. you should accept that you did a rude thing, and also apologize to bo. and me." when she's sure he won't bolt, she leaves him to join bo at the stove. her brows raise at the sight of the overbeaten pancake mix, but she doesn't say anything. they'll taste okay regardless. 

"do five and use the cast iron here," she says, standing on her tip-toes to grab it where it hangs off rungs over the stove. "but let it heat up for a bit first." she lay a hand over the small of his back, wanting contact, feeling overtly possessive, still kind of mad at ollie for making her feel that way in the first place.

boruta maher ollie morales

☉

[attr="class","icon"]

bo was inclined to agree. in fact, ollie should have not come over at all so early in the morning, banging on the door, unless it was an absolute emergency – and even then, surely the head ranger had other reliable friends between ever grande city and fallarbor, considering literally the entire region lied between them.[break][break]

spatula in hand, he turned to glance at willow when she told ollie to sit down and stay, realizing he was still cooking for him too. the cast iron was situated on the stove, and he turned it to five.[break][break]

”thanks.”[break][break]

willow’s hand on his back softened out a crease of grouchiness in his forehead. however, it did not keep him from speaking up again. his pettiness had been roused.[break][break]

”i don’t want your apology, ollie. i want you to not pound on the door at the ass crack of dawn.” it slipped from his mouth, and even though he didn’t technically live there, and maybe it wasn't quite that early, he was too tired and annoyed to correct himself.[break][break]

”you should apologize to will, though.” he pointed at her with a spoon before sticking it in the bowl of pancake batter.[break][break]
[break]