27 make use of vast of debris-based canyons, valleys, or tunnels created by guzzlord having eaten through city districts.

What a mess.

Seriously. There's just no other way to describe it. It's so thoroughly and utterly fucked that even you, a thoroughly and utterly fucked human being, are completely out of your element. It's almost impressive, but given the circumstances, you can't say you're particularly impressed.

You've lost track of how long you've been here, but if you were to guess, it had to be a good few hours. Six or seven? Something like that. That means it's been seven hours since you've eaten anything, seven hours since you've drank anything, seven hours since you've had a smoke, seven hours since you've enjoyed any kind of luxury whatsoever. And it's not like they were an easy seven hours, no, between the explosive clown and the zombie horde, it's been an exceedingly stressful experience! If you were losing before, then by now, you've almost certainly lost it.

And now, here you are, huddling in some shitheap tunnels beneath the surface with no exit in sight. You are a tightly wound spring. You are so tense that even the slightly disturbance is enough to cause you to snap. And yet, despite that, this idiot just doesn't know when to quit it.

"Yeah, well, I don't want a fuckin' friend, huh? Maybe I want to get the fuck out of here, huh? Have you considered that? Huh? Huh? Did you?
Huh? No. You didn't. Because you don't get it, do you? You're too busy acting like this some lovely summer vacation to take this shit seriously. WE'RE IN AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION ALIEN HELLSCAPE! And what, I'm supposed to be nice to you because we both keep almost dying? No! That's not a bonding experience, you lunatic! I don't want to die here, and almost dying is not fun, and your devil-may-care attitude isn't helping me not die, so fucking knock it off and take this shit seriously!"

Your voice echoes deep and far across the roughly carved tunnels. Then, as the last echo fades away, you take a deep breath in, and let a deep breath out. Whew. Okay. Got that out of your system. Good.

"Now, how the fuck are we getting out of here?"

---

Andrea Vaneau

28 encounter gargantuan guzzlord who devour anything or anyone without discrimination. occasionally intriguing items, or disturbing remnants from their meals can be found on or between their teeth.

"...You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me."

Today just isn't you day, is it? Between the clown and the aliens, it was already up the creek, and now you're dealing with this? A gigantic monstrous mouth with hunger to match? You watch with a mixture of shock, awe, fear, and extreme irritation as the beast swallows up the Draco Meteors as though they're nothing. That's insane. How are you even supposed to beat this thing?

You can't. At least, not here. There just isn't enough room to battle in this tunnel, and throwing attacks into this thing's mouth is equivelant to throwing them at a brick wall. You need to get out of here.

"Xurkitree!" You send forth an Ultra Beast of your own, the towering mess of wires unfurling in front of you. But again, you're not sending it forth to fight. Not at this very moment, anyway. "Hit that big asshole with a Thunder Wave!"

Xurkitree obliges, sending forth a pulse of electricity that hits the Guzzlord right in the mouth, paralysing it. If you were feeling particularly quipping, you might've came up with a banger about lockjaw, but for better or for worse, you're not thinking about jokes right now. Instead, as soon as the paralysis sets in, you proceed to turn around and begin to run.

"Move! MOVE MOVE MOVE!"

---

Andrea Vaneau
🗺️ utilize a paradox pokemon or ultra beast in an advantageous way.

🗺️ SPECIAL HUNT: Andrea Vaneau & Shred Zeppelin will be able to encounter and catch a GUZZLORD or BLACEPHALON (one or the other).

That worked? Huh.

After a moment, you shrug. Eh, fuck it. No point overthinking things. You've been stuck here for so long that your mind is running on fumes, and you can't waste what little brainpower you have left pondering something that's already passed. At the end of the day, the good dragon won, and the bad dragon lost. What else is there to say? Sygna suits are expensive and weird. No point worrying about it.

"Cool." You quickly reverse course, moving away from the tunnel and towards the newly-formed entrance into the strange basement. Xurkitree, as always, follows closely behind. "Now, let's hurry up before another one--"

HONK HONK.

"--Gets here...?"

Slowly, you turn your head, and sure enough, there's an all-too-familiar clown standing in your blind spot. You don't even have it in you to panic anymore. Instead, you simply breath a heavy sigh.

Today just isn't your day, is it?

---

Andrea Vaneau
23 encounter a blacephalon that has slithered toward you and/or your party stealthily. they will attempt to explode their head for a surprise ambush.

With a series of sinister honks, the clown pulls its bulbous head from its body, ready and eager to blow some minds. Fortunately, the Slowking is uncharacteristically quick to act, restraining the Ultra Beast with a timely Psychic. And now? It's all up to you. What's the best way to finish off this bastard of a clown?

You think for a second, looking the Blacephalon up and down. Hm. Maybe? Possibly, but then again... Eh, but what if? If so, then probably. And if that's the case? Then sure, why not?

"Yoink."

You toss forth a Pokeball, hitting the helpless jester head-on and capturing it in a flash of red light. As the Pokeball hits the ground, it begins to roll back and forth, shaking and shuddering as it tries to contain the alien lifeform. But this isn't your first rodeo, and you know how this goes. One shake, two shake, three shake... Aaaaaaaaaaaaand click. A successful catch. You are now the proud(?) owner of a clown. Your collection of Ultra Beasts has grown from one to two.

"Neat." You murmur to yourself, picking up the Pokeball and stashing it on your belt. Well, at the very least, you got something out of this trip, didn't you? In that sense, you suppose this wasn't a complete waste of time. "Now, let's get the hell out of here, yeah?"

---

Andrea Vaneau
🗺️ SPECIAL HUNT: Mmmmmmmmm CLOWN.

21 visit the lesser megalo tower and its first floor. there are no staircases to the upper floors, just an malfunctioning elevator. there are doors to empty custodial rooms, offices, and makeshift living quarters that may or may not contain threats inside.

24 witness frenzied drawings etched into walls of an ULTRA NECROZMA DESCENDING UPON THIS CITY; your characters will not know what ULTRA NECROZMA is (until they do)—but may find it similar to one of the tapestry found in GOODBYE GALAR'S ALTERNATE 'REALITY' HAMMERLOCKE and make logical deductions.

With two Ultra Beasts down and out and one in your possession, you make your way ahead, up the stairs and into a spacious lobby. The inside of that massive tower from earlier? Maybe, maybe not. You don't know, and you can't say you really care, because you just spotted your exit. A gigantic wormhole in the middle of the room, a rippling warp in space and time.

FUCK YES. Finally, a way out! Time to get out the hell out of here.

As Andrea is distracted marvelling at the mural, you quietly return Xurkitree to its Pokeball. Then, you proceed to run as fast as you can and leap into the wormhole. And with one last hurried cry of "OKAYBYESEEYOUNEVER!", you're gone just like that.

...Maybe it's time to pump the brakes on this whole "Ultra Wilds" thing. It never seems to go well for you. Probably time to find a better hobby, yeah? Yeah.

---

Andrea Vaneau
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