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POSTED ON Apr 20, 2024 9:28:06 GMT

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you don't.

"i learned that a little too late."

the arrogance he so proudly wields is no different the CORRUPTED RED SHARD except that corruption took years to bring him to his knees. even now, as he sits there with his mind cleansed, that corruption runs within him. the only difference is a renewed sense of awareness.

"basically that, yeah."

it's the simplest way to put it.

"groudon still lives in my head but it no longer takes up the entire space and more. it sits in a little corner staring at a wall because i told it to."

his grin returns to him as he squeezes her hand.

"it's like i said. things are different now."

[attr="class","retiredsilphtag"]annalise henderson

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POSTED ON Apr 20, 2024 21:08:10 GMT

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[attr="class","mango annal"]

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annalise nods slowly, trying to understand something beyond her comprehension. she's never had something else living in her head. kyle's death had apparently enabled MATIAS SILPH to defy his god. [break][break]but for how long?[break][break]he squeezes her hand. she feels the rough border of the dressing around his iv as she rubs her thumb against the back of his hand. he acts different. he says things are different.[break][break]but groudon is a primordial being that existed before matias and will exist after him. she can't imagine a pokemon like that pouting on the sidelines forever. a power play feels inevitable. [break][break]"it's different now," she agrees, unsmiling, consumed by what ifs. "but groudon's going to want more again."[break][break]and now there is no kyle lopez to pull him back from the brink.

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POSTED ON Apr 21, 2024 5:11:56 GMT

[attr="class","retiredsilphbg"]

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what ifs plague him too, as they have always done, but he has spent years learning how to ignore them and to focus on what's important. he filters them out in favor of what can be done.

he feigns a pout.

"don't tell me you're worried about me."

his thumb brushes over the back of her hand.

"i'll be better prepared this time. i'll actually start listening for a change. imagine that—me, listening. but i'll need all the help i can get."

he pauses.

"will you help me, anna?"

[attr="class","retiredsilphtag"]annalise henderson

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POSTED ON Apr 21, 2024 6:36:47 GMT

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"you almost blew up hoenn," she says, lightening the heaviness of the statement with a smile. "i should be more worried about you, i think."[break][break]MATIAS SILPH tells her he plans to start listening. amused disbelief flashes across her eyes as he says "imagine that" because it's difficult to. sometimes he listens to her, but rarely without fighting her whole way to the conclusion. she's curious how the plan will come into fruition once he's no longer trapped in a bed, his only consistent visitor his own guilt. [break][break]"i've been helping you, matias — you just haven't been listening." [break][break]she slips her hand free and sets it on her thigh. [break][break]"but yeah, i'll help."

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POSTED ON Apr 22, 2024 5:10:46 GMT

[attr="class","retiredsilphbg"]

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deep down, he doesn't believe blowing up hoenn was the outcome they would have achieved. it is only the first step in creating the ideal hoenn; a warm, lush, and vibrant hoenn. for obvious reasons, he doesn't voice this doubt out loud.

"we'll help each other, then."

his hand retreats as he sinks deeper into the bed. with their agreement voiced and in place, he has nothing else to concern himself over, at least not now when he'd much rather continue talking to her.

"now, tell me about you. what else have i missed?"

[attr="class","retiredsilphtag"]annalise henderson

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POSTED ON Apr 22, 2024 5:42:14 GMT

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[attr="class","mango annal"]

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annalise nods, accepting the agreement. the conversation is allowed to lapse into a kind of silence that invites one of them to make up an excuse to end this hospital visit early. MATIAS SILPH opens his mouth, but another question comes out instead. [break][break]she presses her lips together thoughtfully, then shakes her head. [break][break]"nothing really. i already told you about the rocket stuff."[break][break]her eyes drift down to his other hand then back up to his face.[break][break]"how long are you going to hold onto that?"

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POSTED ON Apr 22, 2024 5:53:59 GMT

[attr="class","retiredsilphbg"]

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"onto what?"

it's only then that he remembers the crumpled up napkin in his hand, the pressure having shaped it into a rough ball, spherical enough to be thrown should he want to.

"oh. i was waiting until you least suspected it."

he raises it, then throws it right at her head.

"surely you have more going on than the rocket stuff. you're only twenty-three. aren't you meant to have things going on in your life?"

[attr="class","retiredsilphtag"]annalise henderson

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POSTED ON Apr 22, 2024 6:27:39 GMT

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"the napkin."[break][break]as she expects, MATIAS SILPH admits he's holding onto it until he can throw it at her. his window of opportunity appears at the tail end of his explanation. he raises his clenched hand and throws. she ducks. [break][break]"that was a bad throw," she says with a laugh, mimicking his criticism from their snowball fight. the amusement doesn't last, sobering as he speaks. [break][break]"i don't know. i just go to work or school these days — and in a couple months i'll just be working." her life used to be richer, she thinks. more friends, more opportunities. she doesn't want to tell him she's been struggling or systematically pushing people away. it's easier to sound boring. [break][break]"i don't really have time for anything else."

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POSTED ON Apr 22, 2024 6:55:58 GMT

[attr="class","retiredsilphbg"]

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"i'm injured."

the excuse comes quicker than he had thrown the napkin, having prepared that as well. his muscles are definitely not atrophying yet but he can't remember the last time he threw something; the act seems so primitive.

"you're still studying?"

don't normal people graduate around twenty-two? then again, normal people aren't working jobs and defending the region, so a year is a cheap price to pay.

"what about connors?"

[attr="class","retiredsilphtag"]annalise henderson

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POSTED ON Apr 22, 2024 7:23:45 GMT

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"i was supposed to graduate last spring." [break][break]the trajectory of her life had been so certain and clear back then. team rocket has stolen everything from her. she's let them, open-handed and open-doored, invade every corner of her mind. her fingers curl against the fabric of her pants, forming not-quite-fists. [break][break]with MATIAS SILPH , she would have preferred to dance around the subject of greyson forever. he hasn't mentioned him in so long that her face gives her away — pale surprise, like he's invoking the name of a ghost. her obtuse "what about him?" dies on her tongue. [break][break]"we broke up." it's said the same way she'd told ollie: quick, detached, a bandaid ripped from the skin. [break][break]with less certainty, she adds, "but we're okay."

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matias

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POSTED ON Apr 22, 2024 7:28:36 GMT

[attr="class","retiredsilphbg"]

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his lips part at the realization that the only reason she's still studying is because of team rocket. the timing never occurred to him nor how much they must have affected her life. his lips part and shut within seconds, unable to find the words to express his sorries.

and then it parts again.

"broke up?"

as much as he dislikes the man, greyson has their qualities, and he saw how passionately they were when they confronted him and told him to stay away. greyson was good for her. but was she good for him?

"why? because of rocket?"

[attr="class","retiredsilphtag"]annalise henderson

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POSTED ON Apr 22, 2024 7:50:27 GMT

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she nods because saying "we broke up" once already feels like too much. she thinks about all the other times they've talked about him, all the times MATIAS SILPH has belittled him, and steels herself for him to say something stupid again. [break][break]but he doesn't.[break][break]"yeah."[break][break]it comes out so quietly it's almost inaudible. she breaks from looking at him, staring down at her hands, inspecting them idly. [break][break]"i thought i could pretend everything was good now and i'm okay but i'm — i don't think i am. and i can't be anyone's girlfriend like this."

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POSTED ON Apr 22, 2024 8:04:57 GMT

[attr="class","retiredsilphbg"]

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"anna."

his tone softens as well, matching the somberness that comes with being in a hospital room.

"what you went through is…life-changing. no one should ever have to go through what you did."

he reaches out for her hand to reassure her.

"but you survived. we—"not i anymore"—may have saved you but i know a part of you will never leave that cell. it's shit. it's unfair. but it is what it is."

after a squeeze, he pulls away.

"just try and be yourself first. everything else will follow."

the next question he expects is, 'how?'

[attr="class","retiredsilphtag"]annalise henderson

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POSTED ON Apr 22, 2024 8:24:09 GMT

[nospaces]

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the gentle reassurance that leaves his mouth is incongruent with the MATIAS SILPH she knows. annalise looks up, glossy-eyed and mustering all her strength to keep herself at arm's length from her feelings. she's heard the words a hundred times, but it hits different from people who are rarely sentimental. [break][break]but it's just consolation. warm words and a reassuring touch to make her feel like things will get better, but it never does. [break][break]"i already tried." [break][break]there is no "how?" — she's given up. [break][break]"but i appreciate you trying to help."

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