there's a need within her, a need for relaxation that can't be overlooked any longer. it comes from weeks of ignoring problems, letting them fester beneath her skin like bruises until they're purple and black, painful to even look at. of course, she should know better than to put it off for so long but she claims she's too busy and self care simply slips through the cracks of everyday life. is that why she practically forced herself to come here? it felt like pulling teeth, really... her mind providing other things to do, things that don't include pampering herself. she isn't worth it, she reasoned. there's more work to do, more dna samples to study, more books to read. except, how can she do any of that if she crumbles into ruins beneath the pressure she's placed upon her shoulders? beneath the weight of the world in her head, the feelings that simply won't leave despite time's fingers running over them.

she tries to pick a time where there might not be many people. a time where others are working, away from the luxury of having time to themselves. the woman likes to think she's clever in that regard, in that way of thinking two steps ahead. she never is, however, and it always seems that she's really a few steps behind the rest of the world. too wrapped up in her thoughts, perhaps?

her clothes are neatly folded and tucked into a free locker, the door closing with a soft click. it almost feels odd to be in a robe with the plush fabric comfortable against her skin. shouldn't it feel more restrictive like the rest of her wardrobe? tight, suffocating, anything but the feathery feeling? she's unfamiliar with the weight it lacks, the freedom of it all. her hands fiddle with the loose belt around her waist as she shuffles to the springs themselves. at her back, her hair falls free and unleashed from the usual ponytail she wears. it's an odd sensation to have her hair curl at the skin of her spine... almost like having a finger run down the length of her torso, slightly ticklish and light.

it seems her previous calculations had been incorrect. the realization dawns as she nears the edge of the springs, the back of another woman coming into view. ah, is she interrupting...? subconsciously, her arms draw around her chest, the fabric of her robe tightening beneath the pressure. "i'm sorry," she breathes, the skin of her cheeks beginning to heat with embarrassment. "i didn't know there was anyone else here." something feels familiar about the woman that's dipping her toes into the water, though. something that reminds her of heat and skin and an excitement she can't place. and so, illeana drifts closer, mind struggling to place the origins of such a feeling.

"wait," she murmurs, then, as recognition settles like coming up for air after being submerged for too long. "stormy?" surprise echoes in her tone and she's welcoming a soft smile onto her features as if it's the first one in a while and... perhaps it is. "it's been a while! how have you been? i heard you got yourself a promotion," she's reaching for the woman within moments, her body seeking stormy's in an almost hungry desire for touch. a hug between friends is normal, she reasons. it's not because she's gone too long without the sensation of another person's limbs wrapped around hers. nope, it's not because she needs to be put back together by the arms of another. it couldn't be, it won't be.

brief clips of beneath the water's surface reel in her mind, a small movie of the last time she had been held, and she's speaking suddenly as if her words will end the trailer, will snuff out the swirl of emotions it brings. they don't but it's the effort that counts in the end. "would it be alright if i joined you?"

Stormy Silph

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it's funny, she hadn't known that a hug could manage to put each piece of her back together until now. when stormy's arms wrap around her body, there's a swell in her chest she doesn't understand. is it affection? a wholeness she hasn't known? whatever it is, she presses closer into the tightness of her embrace, into the warmth of stormy's body. it's like seeking fire after being in the cold for so long and it almost dawns on her that this might just be what people describe when they talk of the warmth of home.

stormy pulls away from the embrace and before illeana can speak, can coo at her, the dark haired woman's cheeks are seized by her friend's hands and she's letting out a giggle. "i'll be honest," she murmurs as stormy's fingers brush away strands of dark hair from the edges of her face. "i missed you. it's been so long!" memories of a shared experience under the enchanting lanterns of a festival rise and a fond smile curls at her lips. and then, she's being pulled in for another hug and the breath she releases is slightly shaky. her arms circle around stormy's waist once more, her cheek pressing closer. the contact is nice, almost intoxicating even, and she doesn't want to break the moment. she does, however, as a question escapes, muffled slightly by stormy's hair. "how've you been?"

she misses the dip in stormy's tone, the slight hint of something lingering in the words she speaks, and it's lost in the contact they share. lost in the feeling of another body against her own, lost in the concept that this is what she has been desperately searching for these past months. this sense of ease, comfort, safety. how was she supposed to know that it was held within stormy's arms, within the affection they have? if she had known sooner, perhaps she would have been knocking on the woman's door every night when her mind becomes too much and the weight of it all is crushing. begging for cuddles seems fitting for illeana, anyway.

and then, it's gone and the lack of warmth, of being whole, registers all at once.

she doesn't get a chance to dissect what it means before stormy is grabbing her hand and tugging her toward the springs. a laugh bubbles out from her throat and as they descend into the springs, illie's glancing toward the alluring water. "there's no one else i'd rather get steamy with," she giggles. her robe is shed and abandoned at the water's edge, the plush fabric quickly replaced with the soothing warmth of hot water lapping at her skin. really, how has she not done this sooner? this is incredible.

"so," she begins, then, with dark eyes fluttering toward her friend's face. "what's new? give me all the details. i'm dying to know!" hearing of stormy's endeavors will ease her mind, she believes. it'll provide a distraction from her own troubles, her own failures. and if not, she still wants to know anyway because she's missed this woman and this feeling of being close to another person.

Stormy Silph

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her eyes seem to dance at the mention of chocolate and wine. well, more chocolate than wine, really... she's not much of a drinker. alcohol and her have an odd relationship, you see. she likes the taste, likes the fuzzy feeling, but good lord can she not handle her liquor. this fact is a little too embarrassing for the woman to mention, however, so she simply grins at stormy and nods. "of course," she almost purrs before a laugh breaks away the tone. "what kind of person doesn't like chocolate?"

certainly not her because she's too sweet to not have a sweet tooth.

a gentle flush of heat overtakes the skin of illeana's cheeks, then, as stormy drops her towel and descends into the water. they're friends, she reasons. comfortable with each other. it's natural to do this, to skinny dip with your gal pals. except, it's not natural for her and she's a little flustered at seeing everything stormy has to offer. it almost brings an insecurity with it, the notion that her body is supposed to be smooth and curvy, unblemished. while she has the curves, has the feminine wiles at her disposal, her skin is littered with scars and they're ugly, unsightly things. subconsciously, her arms curl around herself and she's sinking a little lower into the water, chest disappearing beneath the surface until she's just a hint of shoulders and dark hair.

her eyes wander away from stormy as the caretaker arrives with the aforementioned wine. had stormy been expecting someone else? the woman is certain she hadn't heard her friend ask for the goodies while in her presence... her mind wants to worry, wants to feel guilty, but this is supposed to be a relaxing time. she has more than enough moments to worry outside of this peaceful bubble they have placed themselves in. and so, she ushers the thoughts away as quickly as they come with a grateful dip of her head in the direction of the caretaker.

"oh boy," illeana giggles, the tone of stormy's words not going unnoticed by the scientist. she's almost too used to picking things apart that words and meaning feel like child's play. and yet, she's still constantly oblivious, things going over her head far too often for her to deem herself keen. "lay it on me." there's a silly edge to her words, the syllables lifting at the ends with slight laughter.

ah, but the explanation behind her friend's words leaves her suddenly quiet. it dawns on her that despite being close with the woman beside her, there's so much she doesn't know about her. the same could be said for illeana, sure, but it still leaves a weird taste in her mouth. guilt, she realizes. she feels guilty for not asking sooner. her eyes drift away from the wine to find stormy's and red meets iron. the dark colors of her gaze soften upon making contact and a hand leaves the curve of her waist to seek her friend's. "i'm sorry," she murmurs and it comes out on instinct alone. "that's a lot to handle in such a short amount of time. are -- how are you dealing with everything?" her idle hand rises to accept the glass as it's offered, quickly raising it to her lips for a generous sip. the wine is sweet yet tart all at once and it's pleasant on her tongue. as if suddenly thirsty, she's taking another sip before letting the glass fall away.

"yes," she says after a moment. there's an almost distracted look in her eyes, in the way they retreat to the water's surface. "a little too often, i'm afraid. it's like you want something but then something else comes along and you never thought you could desire that thing so much until it happens? and then you're torn between the two and it's hell." illeana sighs and there's that lack of understanding toward the world and fate that has her lips quirking into the ghost of a frown. "what is your heart telling you?" it's a loaded question, she knows, but she has to ask anyway. some think with their mind while others allow their heart, their instincts, to guide them. she tries for both herself, but her heart always wins out in the end and hopes for the things it desires only to break each and every time in the end. as she decides on yet another sip while she waits for stormy's response, she finds herself hoping that her precious companion will not have to endure the same fate she has, the same feeling of a still beating organ ripping apart in her chest.

Stormy Silph

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a series of giggles escape as stormy jokes and like her friend, it's probably too soon for the wine to begin taking a hold. it seems, however, that her tolerance is practically nonexistent because the wine is already working its magic and she's fuzzy. her mind is still somewhat sharp but there's a pleasant feeling beginning to creep within her body. rosy cheeks are the first sign and as she takes another sip, she's flashing stormy a smile over the rim of her glass. "they're psychic," she laughs. "if you can double fist your drinks, color me impressed! that's such a talent." and it really is, in a way. she wouldn't be able to make it past two glasses before passing out but... limits are meant to be pushed, perhaps?

the giggles fade into contemplation when stormy speaks again and there's almost a tinge of sadness in her eyes. it's not a healthy habit, she's certain stormy knows this as well, but she understands it all the same. sometimes, people need other things to help them deal with the cards they have been dealt. some require other methods than her friend but in the end, it's all the same search for solace, for safety, for comfort. "you know," she murmurs, glancing away almost shyly. "if you ever need help dealing with anything, i'm a call away." and then, she's flashing a soft smile and even attempting a wink. "i'm not much but i'll try my best to help, always."

illeana hums between another sip of her wine. the words hit a little too close to home and she's overwhelmed by how much she actually understands of what's been said. people are too perfect, too composed and too high on a pedestal she can't hope to reach. it's sobering, sometimes, to think about. will she ever be like that? is that even something that's possible for her? to know what she wants, to have the means to get it, to be successful and not a mess at every given moment. it both scares her and irritates her for reasons she can't grasp. perhaps it's the desire to be composed, to be like everyone else, that has her falling apart each night. when will she come to understand that she's not meant to be like the masses? perhaps soon, or perhaps never at all.

"it baffles me that people can be so perfect all the time," she murmurs almost bitterly. it doesn't sound good coming from her lips, like she's not supposed to be that envious of others. she is, though, and it's hard to stop it. "shouldn't they be exhausted too? it doesn't make sense. it's normal to be unsure of what you want, right?" to her, and to stormy, it is and that thought alone is comforting. "i'm sorry you're going through this, stormy." her voice is quiet as she leaves the sentence to hang in the air. it's soft and trying its hardest to be comforting but words are just words in the end and only they can decide whether the words will have any meaning.

while stormy tops off her glass, illeana decides that another sip is a good thing. she can already feel her body relaxing in the water but somehow, someway, she wants her mind to feel at ease too. is she overindulging in the wine? probably but she'll simply regret it in the morning when her head feels like it's splitting at the seams. for now, she's content with the sensation of water at her body and alcohol trickling down her throat.

"it's hard to not do that," the woman murmurs and she's tilting her head back to gaze up at the sky above them. "people can be so convincing sometimes, too, and that just makes the heartbreak even worse." it almost sounds like she's speaking from experience and in some regard, she is. there's been a few men that have captured her interest, filled her chest with the flutters of love, only for them to snuff them out with the tearing of her heart. it's exhausting to put yourself back together again after that, after having your hopes so high only to have them crumble into dust. perhaps that's why she's missing a few pieces now, the glue not being enough to keep her whole. "i think," she begins after backing away from the depths of her thoughts. the flashes of faces in her mind keep her from going too far and drowning in the what ifs, in the disappointment they bring. "to keep it from breaking again, we have to keep it guarded. it's easier said than done but i don't know what else could stop the breaking." there's not enough walls for her to build to get rid of the hope that rises, the idea that someone could actually be interested in her entirely.

stormy's leg draws illeana's attention and she's all too aware that she's staring but she can't help it. the sight of the scar that runs across her skin is comforting, so much so that it prompts the scientist to raise her arms and settle them against the rocks at her back. the remnants of water that stubbornly cling to her skin shine briefly in the glow of the lights around them, showcasing what lies beneath. scars, dozens of them, are put on display in a rare moment of ease. they almost look like constellations, a map of stars on her skin. they aren't, however, and they're nothing more than reminders of her parents, of the man who took her furret from her. no matter how many times they're compared to the night sky, in the end they're nothing more than devastating memories she can't escape. it's comforting to know that she isn't alone, though, and as her eyes drift away from stormy's leg and toward her face, illie flashes her a warm smile. "could you pass me a chocolate, darling?"

Stormy Silph

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