Ry, Yongjun
He/Him
Twenty-Eight
January 5
Wyndon, Galar
Demisexual
High School Teacher
Civilian
deep inside, we're nothing more than scions and sinners
TAG WITH @ryan
Ryan Arcken
in the silence [m]
POSTED ON Mar 30, 2022 23:19:41 GMT
[nospaces]
...Don’t cry. Don’t do it...[break][break]
A plead to none other than himself, unbeknownst to the matters and struggles occurring just beyond the door that served as the only reprise and sanctum within the face of both mercy and mercilessness from whence she stood mere inches apart from him. Even as the singular word escaped his lips, the constrictive force weighing down upon him sought a tighter grasp upon him; its hand further digging its talons by his throat as the pain dwelling within it intensified for all of a few moments.[break][break]
He swallowed it down while waiting for a response of his own.[break][break]
Within an absentminded manner, his hands drew further along his knees in some shorter distance; the tips of such grazing lightly upon the tops of the bends prior to tapping upon them within a soft, rhythmically imbalanced manner. Orbs of aurous and scarlet hues continuously remained upon the space between their own places upon his form, dulled and tried with a vague loss of spark and life all the while. They lingered upon the expanse before him in general prior to focusing more intently upon the divots carved within the wood, and soon after, the divots within each individual plank. [break][break]
A means of waiting.[break] A means of distraction.[break][break]
A means to save himself the ongoing pressure of mere existence within the midst of silence— and one that he figured would only continue on and on as he eventually turned his head towards the sight and averted his gaze towards the chilled floors by his flank. Inhaling deeply and and quietly, he settled his gaze upon the gap beneath the door as if awaiting some form of message or other means of communication, telling himself, I wonder how much she’s writing down,” as the silence within the midst of his reply only proved to lengthen more and more. The soundlessness of the scenario by those moments in time had admittedly brought a brief, albeit pitiful, sense of calmness and relief upon him as it gave him the opportunity to further gather his thoughts— though even then, the extensiveness of it had only proven to instill it once more as the thought of what could be happening within the hallway crept within his mind.[break][break]
Furrowing his brows, he began turning his head in order to examine his other side; an action that, in general, had never quite finished its round as the gentleness of spoken tongues touched lightly upon his ears. Although unseen by her, his eyes widened faintly upon note of the few words spoken to him, and his jaw hung slightly as he allowed himself the proper means to process it.[break][break]
…The proper means to process her words, and her tone, and her voice.[break][break]
Silence, responded to with silence. Though she hadn’t seen it, his eyes remained idly and vacantly upon the fabric resting upon his leg as he thought to himself. Though she hadn’t seen it, his lips gradually brought themselves together once more in a feeble attempt to further still himself in the midst of the further growing lump within his throat. He tried to swallow it again, and once he felt it surface once more almost immediately, had merely turned his gaze back towards its initial focus between his knees before trying again to no avail.[break][break]
...She’s talking. Why is she talking? had been the first thoughts and inquiries to roam his head, and with a small, grimacing furrow of brows, he narrowed his eyes while softly digging his nails into his knees while sliding a vague amount along the floor, all while his shoulders dug all the more into the grooves of wood behind him. Is this pity? Is this guilt? Why is she—...[break][break]
He paused.[break][break]
...What if it is guilt?[break][break]
The possibility, alone, caused a further furrow within his brows, and as his hands slowly reached forth to clasp together within a pensive manner, he fought back a third attempt of attack as the pain crept further up. Another silent, yet shakier breath drew itself in as a means and attempt to appease it. It worked to some minor degree, though he clenched his jaw, nevertheless, as he began tapping a thumb upon the other in rapid repetition.[break][break]
...What should I do? he thought to himself once more, achingly aware of the seconds—vital as they were—as they passed on and on. Shutting his eyes within a slow, gradual manner, he tilted his head up towards the ceiling. The tapping grew quicker. She already caught you. She’ll know if you’re lying, but the truth would just make her feel guiltier. It’ll just make it worse.[break][break]
The words settled for a while longer before he grit his teeth slightly, shaking his head with another, softly wry smile to himself.[break][break]
...Lies only ever make things worse, though. She doesn’t deserve that after all this time…[break][break]
Another breath. Deep. Held. Steeling. it remained within his lungs for a number of moments before escaping within the same, gradual span of time; his eyes slowly and narrowly opening to gaze distantly upon the ceiling above him all the while. Though faltering, the smile tugged upon his lips remained as his eyes creepy further along the spaces above him, and then in front him, and then ultimately towards the very same space before him again.[break][break]
”...I’ve been better. Not gonna lie~...” he murmured, his tone soft, yet surely enough to be heard, nevertheless. Tilting his head slightly towards his right, he trailed his gaze along and placed it upon the respective wall bordering him absentmindedly.[break][break]
They lowered in thought.[break][break]
”...What about you? You’re actually talking for once~...”
|
|