[attr="class","oznitop"][attr="class","ozni"]

[attr="class","oznimain"]"Probably, yeah." He laughed. "It can't be one-size-fits-all and be heaven." Which meant stuff had to adapt to people's needs. Which really disqualified it from being a single place, right? It made him wonder if that's where all those alternate realities came from. If all of this stuff was just one giant isekai.

As if summoned by the girl's question, a figure forms beyond the demonic specter. Though he looks younger, it's easy to see the resemblance in their face. They all have the same nose. And, behind him, are two figures the kids wouldn't know. The two that were torn away by this never-ending war before they made an impact.

Ozni didn't protest as Thomas stepped forward. He threw up his arms in a gesture for peace. "You do you, babe!" His babies weren't really made for fighting demonic dudes. He watched as the keystone's energy burst free. The Urshifu got a dye job and the battle continued. As the shout emerged, Oz had to wonder if Tommy Boy knew about a thing called collateral damage.

Fortunately, it seems the bear-thing hit its mark. Oz flashes a thumbs up as the kids race toward their family. This gesture then shifts as he hikes that same finger over his shoulder. "Come on, big guy. Let's blow this popsicle stand." As they turned, the CEO realized that he wasn't alone. The Marshadow now clung to his trainers. It seemed it knew class when it saw it.

Leaving the hellish DMV behind, he made his way toward the Hydreigon express. It was time for another thrilling round of iSpy.

gzaQDMs0

[attr="class","oznipoke"]

[attr="class","oznitop"][attr="class","ozni"]

[attr="class","oznimain"]From the back of the dragon, the view of the gates is astounding. Even the too-cool-for-school (with his PhD) can't stop a noise of amazement."Whoa." He murmurs. "What do you think is on the other side?"

The group lands on a large outcropping. Around them is a parade of almost bored souls. They look like they're waiting in line at the DMV. Occasionally, one of them shuffles forward, obeying a call from someone out of sight.

The little girl stares up at the gate. She flinches away from it, bumping into whoever is behind her. The Marshadow offers kind, comforting noises. "Where--where are grandpa? And Kevin?"

Suddenly, a white light appears in front of them. The little boy is back but his holes are filled in, and his wispy appearance more solidified. "K-kevin! My name's Kevin!" He crushes his sister in a ghostly hug.

The ground begins to shake as they turn back to the gate. There's a shadowy figure there. A crimson R is on its chest, the only color aside from its fiery, hellish eyes. 'You are mine!" It snarls at the kids.

The little orb beside it--an Electrode--begins to grow. It swells until it pushes the crowded specters off the path. Dark, wicked sparks fly from it. "TODE!"

[attr="class","oznipoke"]

[attr="class","oznitop"][attr="class","ozni"]

[attr="class","oznimain"]"Good!" The CEO huffed. "I'd sue your skinny jeans off." Probably save the guy's sperm count too.

After a moment of trying to catch his breath, Oz forces himself to his feet. Again, he probes his sore ribs. With a sigh, he nods. "Yeah, yeah. You're right." Sure, his family belonged in hell, but he'd probably miss them.

The girl swallows. Her hand is wrapped tightly around the hand of her Marshadow. It's obvious it's been fighting this fight for a while. "I--I want to see my brother." Her tiny fingers give the ghost a squeeze. "As long as he isn't mad at me."

[attr="class","oznipoke"]

[attr="class","oznitop"][attr="class","ozni"]

[attr="class","oznimain"]“Sus?! I’m not sus.” It wasn’t like he was slinging heroin. His hair was clean. Every inch of his casual outfit was capital-D designer. That included the limited edition shoes. Heck, he wasn’t even wearing a trench coat! What exactly was he going to do in a place like this? There were paper pushers everywhere. With a huff, Ozni expanded on his earlier words. It was petty. It was immature. But what else did a snot-nosed brat deserve? “You’re the one being all paranoid.”

At the talk of Santa, the man shuddered. Setting people on fire was a bit extreme for a jolly fat guy in a suit. Couldn’t you just push him over or something? “Dang kid.” He shook his head. “You’re worse than the Home Alone guy.” The minor stuff made Ozni slightly uncomfortable. But he wasn’t perving or anything. Besides, he was almost all the way through his sales pitch! Or, well, sales demonstration.

When Ollver started speaking, the CEO felt his lips tilt upward. It’d be nice to see this kid swallow his words.

The Comfey stared down at the other Pokemon with pity. Violence was never the first solution. Still, she did not shy away from the perceived threat. This device finally made it so she could be understood! It wasn’t like one bone would scare her off. At Asher’s shock, the fairy type preened. Her tail drifted airily as she hid her mouth (and the device) behind a little flower.


That excitement made Ozni grin. Now was the time to strike! This punk was eating out of his hands. “About three years.” And he was about to go hungry.

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[attr="class","oznitop"][attr="class","ozni"]

[attr="class","oznimain"]Ugh. This sucks. Where were the people he paid to be responsible when he needed them. The stupid comment made his nose wrinkle. This guy babysat Wurmple for a living. He ran a billion-dollar corporation.”Wisemen say it takes a genius to question tradition.” He was pretty sure only one of those required education. “But what makes him my responsibility?” Ozni’s braids shook as he turned to the Porygon. They didn’t think them capable of committing crimes? This thing had the mind of a supercomputer. It totally knew what it was doing. “Pretty sure that’s racist.”

At the talk of firing, Ozni stiffened. This guy really went for blood. What a fiest Sharpedo. “Fired? You’d starve my kids over a phone? Remind me not to send my resume to you.” Honestly, he couldn’t send it to anyone. The guy never even needed to make one. All his stuff came from referrals. That charity gig? Recommended by a friend of a friend of the owner. His current job? Let’s just say he had an in.

So, he didn’t know the internet rules but WASN’T a virgin? Talk about an old soul. So much for making The Office joke at his expense. “Pretty sure I didn’t mention v-cards, buddy.” He knew plenty of hos who qualified as naive. The next words however made him snicker. Like he’d sleep with this dude. Or any dude. Blue eyes rolled. “Definitely racist. That is one hot polygon.”

At the talk of bosses, Ozni leaned forward. “What’s their name?” He began with an almost desperate whine. “Chocolates or flowers kind of guy?”

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[attr="class","oznitop"][attr="class","ozni"]

[attr="class","oznimain"]His walk through the mall’s outskirts soon brought him back into its winding roads. Between the stores, he walked up and down the aisles. In a perfect world, he’d have dodged the klutz with the grace of a Swanna. Maybe tossed in a BAMF kung-fu backflip. But he wasn’t paying attention. He was too busy replying to an email from the Kanto branch.

“!?” The pair collide with a series of grunts. Her shoulder digs into the space between his rips and arms. Fortunately, Ozni stayed standing. His shoes slid back a few steps. A quick soap grab saved his phone from landing face down on the cement. For an instant, there’s anger in the man’s normally mischievous eyes. “Watch—!” His voice is a growl, a precursor of a bark. But, then, he takes a deep breath. Keep your cool, Oz. It’s just a rando. He slides his phone into a pocket a caramel hand waves the apology off.

“No worries, babe.” Not all of that bite was gone. “I’m gucci.” Ozni starts. “Nothing a Hello Skitty bandaid won’t fix.” After taking a second to examine his email—to make sure it sent—he returned his attention to the poor. Her words had a chance to process at this point. “What exactly were you running from?”

Blue eyes watched as a little piggy disappeared into a nearby alley. Above them, a Staraptor landed on a nearby pole. Total fry scrounger.

NOTES
Normal/Fairy/Ghost

[attr="class","oznipoke"]

[attr="class","oznitop"][attr="class","ozni"]

[attr="class","oznimain"]Ozni winked. A story like that would take the monotony out of the long flight home. "Sounds like a date." Hopefully, he actually told it. Currently, that plan doesn't compute.

Hiding a yawn behind his hand, the CEO watched the interaction through Thomas's eyes. It was weird seeing him interact with a kid like that. His limbs were all bunched up too, like a Liepard ready to spring. The second mention of the brother made him scoff.

As his body returned, Oz tore his eyes away from the trio in front of them. The little girl was sniffling, probably realizing she was a stiff or something. "I know you want to punch me dude, but my soul?"

He sighed. "Just keep your mitta off the face." There's a sensation of force and then he's floating .

After a brief display of his swimming skills, he's back in good old Adebayo. Blue eyes blink awake.

"You know--" He wheezed. "I still don't get why we're doing this." The girl seemed to have made a decision.

[attr="class","oznipoke"]

[attr="class","oznitop"][attr="class","ozni"]

[attr="class","oznimain"]If he’d heard her thoughts, Ozni would have grinned. Silly thoughts like that meant his act was working! Beneath all the bravado was a shrewd businessman with a predator’s instincts. Someone who spent the gaps between breaths with business emails and strategy. Seeing him as chill was like underestimating a Slaking because it loafed around. Still, he didn’t feel like this girl deserved to see his grumpy side. Poor or not, it was hard to deny her charm.

His eyes jumped from driver to driver. A brow went up as they reached the ends of the rows. Weren’t those limos from Mister Gates and Sir Blackwell? WHat the heck were those two old fogeys doing together? Any thoughts on that subject ended when Sylvia spoke up. A lanky arm moved to sling across her shoulders. “Aww! Don’t worry, babe! They eat that stuff up!” People were fascinated by what they didn’t know. So, the idea of some lowborn flouncing through would probably be thrilling (even if they grumbled about it).

Her reaction earned a grin. “Yeah.” It was like watching somebody step in to the TARDIS for the first time. “No idea why they made the place so small.” Maybe it helped it feel more exclusive. At the maitre’d’s exprssion, Oz just grinned. “Yo! Leopold! How’s the love life, babe?” Apparently, he was paid too much to fall for the man’s charms (at least in public). His loss. Ozni offered a few waves as they passed across the marble floor. He even went so far as to snap a couple of half-hearted salutes. Most of them turned away (from their mistresses) in embarrassment. A guy who glared earned a stuckout tongue. “These guys really need to get the stick out their butts.”

Toddling behind them, Icee’s nose left little drips of dinosaur snot on the floor. But the server had the decency to pretend not to notice.


Throwing himself bonellessly into the chair, Ozni cast a strange figure. His napkin remained furled on the tabletop, a stark contrast to the little lap napkins around him. It was all part of the act. “Money might not buy happiness, but it makes it a lot easier.” A lot of rich people bemoaned their privileged upbringings. They yearned so badly to be normal. Those people were idiots. At her question, Ozni laughed.


“This isn’t really a partying kind of place.” Blue eyes twinkled mischievously. “But what’s the harm in standing out?” A menu was dropped in front of them. With a dismissive wave, Oz shooed off the server. The paper only had around 20 options. Over half of those were wines. Waiting until they were out of earshot, he leaned over conspiratorially. He raised his napkin over his lower face like a Victorian fan.


“Anybody here catch your eyes?” Guessing who these losers were was half the fun.

cAh9N2Du

[attr="class","oznipoke"]

[attr="class","oznitop"][attr="class","ozni"]

[attr="class","oznimain"]The Kalosian’s face crinkled in full-on confusion. Sure, there was a lot to unpack here. The fact that the realm of death was stretching behind them. Or the fact that a giant horde of spirits wanted to tear them apart. “Wait, wait.” Fingers that really needed a tan raised for pause. A shadowy arm rocketed overhead. “How did that help you escape anything?” Your body would still end up trapped in a pile of ice and snow.

Then, the frog reminded him of something—the girl. Right. For a split-second, Oz was tempted to turn away. It wasn’t like he owed this kid anything. That bratty brother of hers would have been totally fine turning him into a meat puppet. But one look at her changed that. Her eyes looked like they’d inflated. Their clear, crystalline blue was hard to resist. He ruffled Thomas’s helmet of hair. “Riiiiight. The kid.”

This stuff he’d leave to Thomas.

The little girl stared up at Thomas-Ozni with wide eyes. “Y-yes?” She swallows. Hopeful eyes scoured the area for a familiar face. “Where—where are they?” She curled her arms around the little shadow doll with her. “They aren’t mad, right?”

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[attr="class","oznitop"][attr="class","ozni"]

[attr="class","oznimain"]At the gesture, Ozni took a step back. His lips dropped open in faux shock, a hand spreading mockingly across his chest. “I am appalled, sir. Appalled, I say!” The man piped back in the ex-Elite Four’s voice. At the refusal, the CEO sighed. “I’m out of ideas then.” Notably, he didn’t deny being full of himself—it was a family trait.

Though he didn’t want to kiss himself. He had plenty of ladies to pick from out there. Probably more than hair gel helmet over here. A spirit flew over his head. It vanished off the cliff behind him. Let’s give this a go.

He sighed and turned back to the battle. “You’re going to feel really stupid if that’s the answer.” With a shake of his head, he turned to face his Arctozolt. The little shadow was right. They needed to focus. He doubted the viewers would like it if he just let this girl get torn apart. “ICEE, baby! Give Daddy an avalanche!” The ice type sniffed as she stared at whom she thought was her trainer.

That confusion is short, however, as the ghosts attack. The avalanche buries many of them under its cold embrace. Around the same time, the other two Pokemon fell the last one. As the area quiets, the flowery shield around the girl begins to flicker.

“You’re good, Lei!” Man, that Kalosian accent was weird. It made him feel like he was hocking baguettes in a mime outfit.

When it drops, the girl stares up at them. Her eyes are teary, full of fear and anxiety.

[attr="class","oznipoke"]

[attr="class","oznitop"][attr="class","ozni"]

[attr="class","oznimain"]Ozni wished he had a tennis racket right about now. He felt himself lifting off the ground as the ghoul opposite cracked the tendril-like a whip. The world spun for a moment as everything turned weightless. Desperately trying to avoid flying into the void, he reached for the first thing he could, Thomas’s slouched form.

The next thing he knew, his eyes and hands felt wrong. His arms felt stubby and his lithe musculature was replaced with a buff beach body. But he looked paler than an anemic vampire! Yuck! Then, of course, there was the sudden sense of nausea. His mind didn’t know how to control this. Turning to see himself, the CEO felt his breath escape him in a little gasp. Man, I really am something else. Those shoes look fly AF.

The profanity drew a shout of protest."Hey!" That guy was polluting his poor tongue! the gestures looked nothing like Thomas’s either. They were more exaggerated. “Watch the language!” Shaking off his vertigo, the man jogged toward, well, himself. The fight was temporarily ignored in favor of this. It was kind of fun once he got over the weirdness.

“So, uh, any idea how to switch back?” His Arctzolt unleashed another avalanche on the shadow hoard as it approached. An icicle pierced through the spirit who’d started this mess. It vanished with a shriek. “Think kissing will work?” He grinned, lighting Thomas’s normally dour face up like a Broadway stage. “It works in the movies.”

Blue eyes dropped to where the switcheroo tendril had fallen. Maybe that thing could switch them back?

[attr="class","oznipoke"]