What the hell is going on? Chester is ranting and raving like the stock market just crashed, and Howard looks like he's peaking on Arceus-only-knows. You take a long, long sip of Dr Perky as you allow the scene in front of you play out for a bit. Hm, nope! Observing the anomaly doesn't make it make sense. What a shame.

"All of my Pokemon talk, bud. You just don't hear the words." You idly comment, watching as the Gholdengho begins pulling out documents and hurriedly riffling through letters and logs. "We've talked about this before. I explained all the intricacies of it, and then you said 'okay' and changed the subject, remember?"

Things are already plenty weird. And then, the Gimmighoul arrive.

"A-Ah! Billiam, Donald!" Chester suddenly straightens up, hiding his paperwork behind his back. "It has been some time, hasn't it? I'd love to stay and chat, but as you can see, I'm quite busy right now, so..."

Billiam? Donald? Slowly but surely, you tilt your head down and look at the two Gimmighoul.

"Gimmigimmigimmigimmi, ghoul, gimmighoul! Gimmighoul ghoul ghoul! Ghoul. Gimmigimmi?"

Are these two supposed to be Billiam and Donald? Which one is Billiam, and which one is Donald? You are so confused right now.

"N-now, now! You know our terms well, chaps!" Chester takes a cautious step back. You can see the sweat dripping down his forehead, which is odd, because he's both dead and made of metal. Nevertheless, little droplets of blue-green trickle down from non-existent sweat glands. If he had been wearing a suit, he would assuredly be tugging at his collar right now. "You said it yourself: Sky Pillar Draconid, LLC, limited liability company! I can't be liable for all of it, can I? But I'll assuredly pay you back my shares! I just need to get in contact with my secretary to arrange the transfer, and..."

---

howard slayte

UH OH.

It's a good thing you're wearing a mask, because it helps to hide your devastating facial flinch. This child knows who you are? She was involved in the whole bear-alien-disaster scenario? Shiiiiiiiiiiit. That's not good, for a variety of reasons. If she knows who you are, and knows that you're a Rocket, and knows that Howard is a Rocket...

Wait, hang on, why IS Howard friends with this eight year old? Your eyes narrow a little as you glance over to his body. Is he trying to scam children into helping him with archaeology? Is he so cheap that he's actually relying on unpaid child labour now? He's exploiting children, but he can't even defeat them in a fight?! What a bum. Next, you'll find out that he's been handing out your contact information to every single League member he's come across! He probably doesn't deserve it, but you've still come this far, so you might as well save him anyway.

"No, no, that wasn't me." You furiously shake your head, scrambling to hide your identity. "My name isn't Shred Zeppelin. My name is Dread Threatening. We are two different people."

Hm. Dread Threatening. That really sounded better in your head.

"I'm not that guy. Now, hand over Howard. Please."

---

Eris Halla

With a mighty BOOM!, the Gliscor was sent flying back, struck by the full force of the explosive sound and sent tumbling through the air. For a moment, things seemed dire for the scorpion, as it fell further and further from the sky. However, its senses soon returned to it, and with a twisting swoop, it regained control. Of course, it would take some time to return to the conflict proper, but it was still in the fight, and that was what mattered.

That left the Crobat alone for a time, but that would not deter the bat from it's mission.

Taking advantage of the Flygon, whose attention was momentarily elsewhere, Crobat launched itself forth. Its grimacing mouth opened wide, revealing its two piercing fangs as yellow eyes locked on to the neck of the dragon. With its attack aimed and prepared, there was nothing left for it to do but bite down, aiming to Leech the Life from its foe.

---

Shalin Nariya

Finally, another human.

Or, well, another friendly human. You've got plenty of "prisoners" of "war" in here with you, but they're not exactly conversational, nor are they particularly conscious. That's probably for the best, though, because you can't imagine that they have much nice to say to you. A selection of swears and slurs, maybe, but nothing particularly compelling. Not that this bleary radio conversation is a grand improvement, mind, but its enough to stave off the cabin fever of your little operation.

...Is it just you, or does the voice on the other end of this walkie-talkie sound a little irritated? Nah, probably just the electrical interfetterence. There's no way anyone could be mad about an idea as smart as this one.

"Hello! Yes, good, good good good, good. Good to talk to you." You reply, fast-tracking the small talk as you sit up in your chair. Idly, you grab a Pokeball from your belt, tossing it up and down as you speak. What intel do you have? That's a difficult question, and one you're not sure how you're supposed to answer. "In terms of intel? I got just about everything short of Navy's credit card information. I'm practically drowning in information over here. What do you want to know?"

---

Aurelie Lefevre

The Beedrill is beaten back, but the damage is already done. Venom is flowing through Lam's veins, and if he doesn't get the antidote soon, then failing his mission will be the least of his concerns. So, he's forced to turn tail and retreat, off to receive treatment for his wounds. Unfortunately for him, this mission can only be considered a loss.

"BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!"

Meanwhile, the wasp continues to flutter about, dragging together stingers and drills in a vicious dance of victory. It's half-tempted to chase down the fleeing prey and finish them off, but it decides against it. After all, the Mega Energy is already fading, and soon, it'll be just a normal insect once more. Besides, it doesn't need to do anything else: It's already driven away the intruder and stalled the League's advance. That, on its own, is victory enough.

---

lam logan
FINAL MP COUNT FOR SHRED
+100MP for SKY.
+60MP for 6 IC Posts.
+10MP for KOing Talonflame.
+10MP for Mega Evolving Beedrill.
+50MP for Skeledirge getting KO'd.
+100MP for completing an RT Mission.
+150MP for completing an RT Battle.
+50MP for Battle/Mission Participation.
+200MP for Winning an RT Battle/Mission.
TOTAL = 730MP

Well, this is strange.

You're not quite sure how you got here. You were just trying to put your Durant in the PC so you could take out Slither Wing, and everything went to hell real quick. What the fuck is going on? What happened to your face? Why are you at a banquet? Who is this Snubble, and why are they the monarch of this place? It's all weird and trippy, and you swear to Arceus, you're definitely not on anything right now.

Well, not much to do about it, you suppose. If this is the next great Shred Zeppelin adventure, then who are you to say otherwise? If you're lucky, this might even turn out well for you.

[NO]

[attr="class","rbynote"]

nickname: God[break]
title: Heavensent Hellion[break]
shadow pokemon: Durant[break]

[newclass=.rbynote]border-width: 9px 9px 9px 9px;border-style:solid;border-image: url('https://i.imgur.com/UUqNs3l.png') 9 9 9 9 repeat repeat;padding:6px 8px;color:#232323;text-align:justify;font:11px Calibri;letter-spacing:1px; margin-top:20px;background:#aaa;background-clip: padding-box;[/newclass]

PURCHASING/REDEEMING

welcome to the poké mart!

1X Psyduck Pail (200 PD)
3X Salac Berry (150 PD)
1X Gacha (Free from Passerby Analytics)

Gacha here - pkmn-hoenn.boards.net/thread/35215/shreds-gacha
Garden here - pkmn-hoenn.boards.net/thread/39549/shreds-garden

TOTAL

do come again!

350 PD

Growing:
MONEY Berry (1 Week, Destroyed 09/14/2024)
MONEY Berry (1 Week, Planted 03/02/2024)
Passho Berry (8 Week, Planted 23/04/2024)
OVERGROW Rillaboom (Halves grow time)

---

HISTORY:
x3 Salacs, 2nd November - 29th November.
x3 Salacs, 2nd December - 29th December.
x3 Salacs, 1st January - 29th January.
x3 MONEY BERRIES, 3rd Feb - 23rd April
x2 MONEY BERRIES, 3rd Feb - 24th AUGUST
x1 PASSHO BERRY, 23rd APRIL - 26th JUNE
X1 PASSHO BERRY, 26TH JUNE - 24TH AUGUST
X1 PASSHO BERRY, 24TH AUGUST - ?
x2 MONEY BERRIES, 24th AUGUST - ?
X1 MONEY BERRY, 11TH SEPTEMBER - ?
X1 MONEY BERRY, RIP, FIDOUGH VICTIM

Yeah this is very scuffed don't worry about it.

Answers for Shred , submitted drunkenly at 4am:

#1 - What is your opinion on shorts?
i like them but i cant wear them because they clash with my cool and mysterious aura

#2 - What was your proudest moment?
no comment

#3 - Do you believe in redemption, or can some sins never be forgiven?
i am beyond help

#4 - Which Pokemon species do you detest?
i like all pokemon (except that one chatot he knows what he did)

#5 - Who or what 3 objects would you bring with you if you were stuck on a deserted island?
beer, cigarettes, chester c coins

#6 - What do you have in your pockets?
i'm not wearing pants

#7 - Do you have a sibling, or someone like one? If so, what's your relationship like?
sometimes i feel like Gregory is like the big brother i never had but i think he hates me so idk

#8 - How would you like to be remembered after you die?
i'm never gonna die idiot

#9 - Do you name your Pokemon? Why, or why not? Do you follow a certain theme?
naming pokemon is stupid why would you even name them?? Theyre not your children theyre living beings you dont own them you didnt birth them they existed before you came along you cant shackle them with your names thats not cool

#10 - Are you a virgin?
i have sex

#11 - WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
dont make me choose

#12 - What is your favorite anime?
question #10

#13 - ORACELIES SOLAR has released her final album titled X. Listen to it here. Out of the tracklist, which is your favourite song and why?
you should stop asking me about dogshit and ask me about peak music like SludgeBomb the seminal slurpcore album from I3ԻɅ1Π;PΘ𝚒Z0₦ the greatest artist of all time

#14 - How much time do you think Hoenn has left?
time isnt real

Do you have a suggestion for a future survey question? Please submit it below
tits or ass what do you MEAN i cant use that one??? fuck you fucked fucker corpo scumbag pieces of shit go to hell and die new question if killing rich people was legal how many would you kill

Hoooooonk, mimimimimi... Hoooooooonk, mimimimimi...

Yep, you're snoozing. Having a delightful nap as Grigori makes the hours-long drive from Lilycover to Slateport. What's the drive like? You don't know, you slept through it. What's the job? You don't know, that's a problem for awake you. You are just a comfy fellow, snuggling with your Salandit within the passenger's chair of the van.

Surely, nothing can go wrong, can it? Not when you're having yourself a lovely sleep. What kind of monster would wake you up when you're catching a few wholesome Zs?

---

Grigori Sokolov

Taking for October with Grigori Sokolov

The Fell Stinger did not kill Talonflame, but it still did its job. It landed the decisive blow, and that was all that mattered.

Immediately, the body of the Beedrill seemed to change, its spiked arms becoming sharper, its wings beating faster, its vision further improving. Bolstered by Mega Evolution, and furthered boosted by its focused energy and the positive feedback of the stinger most fell, it had far surpassed the usual limits imposed upon its kind. No longer a mere worker in its hive, it might as well have been queen of the skies: More lethal than a Scizor, faster than a Ninjask, and with one singular mission in mind - The Corviknight can go no further.

Lam swoops to catch his Talonflame, but that means his path is predictable. With a malicious chitter, the Beedrill charges forth, aiming a Poison Jab to hit the trainer head-on and seeking to end the "fight" as quickly as possible.

---

lam logan

"Long story. Don't worry about it."

You pause to take a sip of your Dr Perky. It's a non-answer and you know it, but what are you supposed to tell him? Your interaction with Eris Halla was nothing short of a migraine. You don't want to talk about it. Hell, you don't want to think about it. No, you're not just making excuses. Shut up. Look, it doesn't matter, alright? If he really wants to know, you'll tell him later, preferably a few weeks later, or maybe a month later. Just, not now, okay? There's bigger fish to fry.

"WHAT?!" Chester shouts as he bursts out of the red flash of light, barging forth as though he were flinging open the doors of his Pokeball. He jingles and jangles as he looks at Howard, his expression one of complete horror. Then, he turns and grabs you by your jacket, shaking you back and forth. "No. NO! He's lying! It can't be true, Shred! I have MILLIONS of coins invested in Gimmicoin! If that ne'er-do-well Fernando Silph takes it all, I'll be... It'll all be... IT'S GHOLDENGHOVER!!!"

...Who the fuck is FERNANDO SILPH ? His name tickles something in the back of your mind, but you can't remember why. Is he important? You don't know, but he sounds like a real cunt.

"Calm down! CALM DOWN!" You counter-grab the Gholdengho by his shoulders, shaking him with twice the ferocity and ten times the irritation. "Look, this isn't the end of the world! You know how politics and bureaucracy are. It'll take years before they can regulate jack shit, so we just have to cash out before then. Everything is going to be fine. Right, Howard?"

Well, this has taken a turn for the stupid, hasn't it? For many reasons, taking financial advice from Howard somehow being the least of them. Howard can't hear the voices of your Pokemon. Hell, much like everyone else you've ever met, he can't even hear the voices of his own Pokemon! How the fuck is he supposed to react to this travesty of a conversation?

---

howard slayte