Man, this bastard won't quit. Just who the hell is he? Actually, what the hell is he? Does the League have some kind of laboratory somewhere dedicated to pumping out psychic super soldiers? Did you miss a memo? Well, no point fretting about it now. It doesn't matter where this freak of nature came from, because he's right here right now, and you have to deal with him before you can worry about anyone or anything else.

Your Toxic Spikes are all but nullified by a Safeguard, while Slither Wing takes a nasty Ice Punch from Kanghaskhan. To his credit, the bug takes it well, pushing past both the bruising and the frostbite to retaliate with a Close Combat. At the same time, Cofagrigus keeps up the offensive against the Mr Mime and its trainer, this time tossing forth a Shadow Ball to keep them pinned.

...This fight is a little closer than you'd like it to be, especially when your life is on the line. Maybe it might be a good idea to start thinking about an exit plan?

---

MATIAS SILPH

"Hm." You shrug. You did get your last batch from a different dealer, and they did smell a little bit like rat poison. Then again, you're fine, aren't you? Maybe this is just a Howard thing. Then again then again, do you really want to take that risk? "I'll find a new dealer, just in case."

You look back at the intense negotiations going on, watching with what can best be described as "complete obligation". You're only getting one half of this conversation, and you think that might be one half too many. What the hell do these Gimmighoul even want, anyway?

"AIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Oh. They want to rob Chester. That makes sense... Wait, if they're robbing Chester, and Chester is your Pokemon, then... Hang on, they're robbing you! Your eyes go wide as hundreds and hundreds of Gimmighoul Coins pour out of your Gholdengo, like watching all the years of tax he evaded catch up to him in real time. That stings doubly so, because by proxy, they're also taxing you, too.

"I'm melting... All my money... Help me, Shred... My billions are being reduced to millions...!"

"Hey, HEY!" You grab Howard by the shoulders, pulling him face-to-face with you, before turning him towards the blatant display of theft going on before your very eyes. "Those are MY coins! Tell your little dickheads to knock it off, before I knock THEM off!"

---

howard slayte

Fangs sunk deep into the Flygon's neck, and before long, the great dragon collapsed, falling down far to the ground below. Having scored a critical knockout, Crobat took a moment to savour its feast. It hadn't taken much in the way of damage, but what little it had taken began to fade away. All it took was a few seconds to consume what it had taken, and the bat was as good as new, free from scrapes and bruises and exhaustion alike.

Meanwhile, Gliscor had managed to regain the altitude it had lost, riding the winds to bring it back to where it once was. The two attackers had been reunited again, and now, they were fighting a two-against-one. And unfortunately for Shalin, neither was inclined to be particularly merciful.

So, the two would take up the chase once more, flying after the Beedrill like predators hunting prey, all the while bombarding it with a barrage of Poison Stings and Air Slashes.

---

Shalin Nariya

Calling it a "garden" is generous. Really, it's a dilapidated greenhouse built atop the apartment you're mooching in that you've decided to commandeer. Not exactly extravagant, and hardly the best conditions for growing plants, but it's fine, because you know a guy. These Salacs? They're growing in a highly advanced superfertilizer that's banned in Hoenn. These shits could grow in concrete as long as you water them once a week. All in all, it's shaking up to be a nice side hustle on top of all the usual scams you're involved in.

At least, it would be, if you didn't have to deal with all these uninvited guests.

You watch as the Oricorio digs around the potted plants, pecking at seeds. The good news is, those weren't the Salacs. The bad news is, you and howard slayte are going to have to find something else to smoke for a while.

Still, it's not all bad. A quick Google search reveals that this is, in fact, a "Sensu" Oricorio, which means jack shit to you, but apparently, they're popular in Kanto. Maybe you can sell it off to a Rocket higher-up? Or maybe it'll just end up bumming around you for years to come. Either way, it's distracted right now, and you've got a Pokeball in hand. The maths all adds up.

Minus one Pokeball, plus one Bird.

---

We take these dubs.

Scolipede crashes into Araquanid, the sheer force of the impact sending both of them careening into the water. A mess of far too many legs thrash and splash about, grappling for dominance over the other. The spider attempts to repeatedly Headbutt the centipede, tryng to knock it out so that it might get back to the lifeboat before it gets away.

But it's too late. Already, the dinghy is floating away upon the rough seas, away from the sinking ship and out towards freedom. Not safety, not by a long shot, but certainly away from the present danger.

"AAARRRCblublublublubTOZOLT!"

Except that there's one hurdle left to cross. The dinosaur bursts out from the water, managing to stop drowning for long enough to throw one last wrench in the works. Its mouth froths with a glacial cold, which it proceeds to vomit all over the hull of the lifeboat. A Freeze Dry, meant to stop the vessel in its tracks.

And then, like the not-quite-fish it once half-was, it crashes into the water once more.

---

Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki

At the mention of captured League members, you idly tilt your head towards the makeshift cell in the corner of your cave. How many of them do you have packed in there right now? Fifteen, maybe? All of them unconscious, trapped behind a Light Screen and wrapped in a layer of Sticky Webs. Your Claydol hovers idly by, its many eyes watching both you in the prisoners, bobbing up and down as it waits and waits. She's not wrong, per say, but you'd like to think it's a little more nuanced than that. Either way...

"I'm afraid that's classified." You play it off coolly, pushing your sunglasses up your nose and smiling for nobody in particular. "If I told you, I'd have to kill you. You know how it is."

You choose to let all the quips and jokes fly past. It's not like you've got internet access here, so even if you did have Navidson's credit card, there wasn't much you could do with it. Besides, you already have a Stayplation 5. You shoplifted it so you could play Spidops Man 2, which you still haven't gotten around to. Maybe you'll make time for it after this...

"Anyway, that's enough of the jokes. You want intel, and I've got intel. What do you want to know?"

---

Aurelie Lefevre

…Wow, this is a gigantic fucking pain in your asshole! You breathe a long, exasperated, and very audible sigh. What to do, what to do? Admit your identity and get this over with, or stay incognito and pick a fight with a seven year old? Sure, the former is quicker and easier, but it’s also admitting defeat. Are you really going to let the twerp win, after all she’s done? No. You HAVE to fight her. There’s no other option.

”Well, you asked for it.”

You grab a Pokeball from your belt and toss it forth, sending out your silly fellow to have a fair but fun scrap with Rowlet, a goofy guy to entertain this whimsical charade - XURKITREE. As the squirming mass of cables looks down on the tiny owl it’ll be fighting, it turns to you and crosses its arms, as though it's so obviously and immediately disappointed that you’ve sunk to this level. That might be a problem, were they not obligated by convention to follow your orders.

”Thunder Wave!”

If the Ultra Beast had eyes to roll, they would assuredly be rolling. Without them, all it can do is linger for a moment before lazily outstretching an arm, sending forth a burst of static electricity to try and paralyse the Rowlet.

---

Eris Halla

Who let the dogs out?

No, seriously, who's dog is this, and why is it in your apartment? You stand there, half-asleep and half-dressed, watching as he goes to town on the leftover pizza you were saving for tomorrow. Are dogs allowed to eat cheese? A quick Google search reveals that no, dogs can't eat cheese, and you're assuredly going to end up with dog vomit in your carpet. Having to clean that up almost sounds as bad as having to remove all the asbestos in the walls... Y'know, almost.

"Spaffy, please get him out of here."

"Relax, Shredder!" The Espathra grins, you think. You can't really tell, because of it having a beak for a mouth and all. Either way, it takes a few steps towards the pup, using its psychic power to pull down its sunglasses and look over them at you. "You're thinking too small. Let me talk to him! I'll cut us a deal."

"Cut us a deal?" You sound equal-parts aghast and amused by the prospect. "You're going to bargain with a literal stray who broke into my house? What are you going to offer it, more of my food?"

"It's quite simple: I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse."

...This isn't going to end well, is it?

---

tZx5NYce

Lokix manages to break one chain, only for two more to descend upon him. The insect is ruthlessly attacked by NIKOLA SAMSA and Ambrose Hendrix, savagely beaten by the grotesque limbs. Against the relentless assault, all that the hero of justice can do is throw up their arms and block as many blows as possible. Lucky for the both of you, Alba Evovae’s clone bear comes to your defence, furious claws mangling the tongue-like tendril. Between that dumbass being taken care of, and the other dumbass seemingly coming to their senses, it almost feels like you’re in the clear.

Key word being “almost”. For one, you’re still in the middle of this battlefield, and with Megalopolans and Ultra Beasts coming from all directions, this fight is seeming less and less winnable by the second. For two, Lulu Flint pulls a knife on you. You blink. Is this the kind of thanks you get for saving someone from an alien parasite? You try to conjure some witty and charming quip to smooth over the tension, but by the time your brain even gets halfway there, she’s already run off.

Man.

With a groan, you drag yourself up to your feet. Well, it can't get much worse than this, can it? No point sticking around here and waiting to die. Might as well get to the spaceship and get out of here.

”Hey, white guy.” You gesture vaguely towards Alba Evovae. With the tap of a button, you return Lokix to his Pokeball, and with the tap of another, you call forth Toxtricity. ”We gotta get out of here. Let's hit the bricks.”

With that declaration, you sprint straight ahead, making a beeline for the spaceship. Meanwhile, Toxtricity leaps up above the Blood Moon Dittoluna, his body crackling with lightning. His claws slap against his chest, building up a crackling bass that keeps getting louder and louder, hypercharging his voice box until it hits its limit. But for a moment, he holds in his ear-blowing Boomburst, waiting for the right accompaniment from its back-up bear.

Until then, you’ll just keep running for your exit.

---

TL;DR - Shred thinks about how its so over its so over its so ver, gets over it, calls out Toxtricity, and does a COOL COMBO MOVE with Boomburst and Alba and his Ditto-Ursaluna, part 1. He also runs for the spaceship.
Choice 1 Time
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