The Arctozolt is not going to give up. Every second that it fights, the icicle digging into the hull of the ship continues to thaw, and more and more water flows inside. That is its role in this endeavour, to be the distraction, to wreak as much havoc as possible and demand the enemy's attention. It isn't glamourous, but neither is his existence. The mismatched Pokemon appreciates disorder. Chaos suits him just fine. He revels in the mayhem, and he's all too happy to enable it.

As vines burst forth from beneath the ice to grapple him, lightning overflows from his mouth. Any tendrils that draw too close are met with a Bolt Beak to fend them off. So long as it can still fight, it can still buy more time, and it's clear that the beast still has plenty of fight left.

All that's left is for Araquanid to carry his weight.

The spider gets off to a rough start. With its attempted snatching blocked by the Scolipede, it ends up gathering zero captives, and on top of that, it ends up entangled with the centipede, too. At first, the situation seems difficult, and it only grows more dire as the more-legged insect begins to charge a Megahorn. However, faced with such a dangerous problem, the better-legged arachnid has a solution in mind.

Four legs grip the Scolipede around its long, segmented body, narrowly avoiding the many spikes and spines of the exoskeleton. Then, just as the horn starts to thrust forth, Araquanid uses its last two legs to Pounce, combining its own forward momentum with the momentum of the Megahorn in an attempt to throw the Poison-type overboard and into the rough waters.

Could a centipede swim? Better yet, did Tsubaki want to risk finding out?

---

Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki

Well, you're back.

Why? You don't know. Certainly, there's better routes to catch Pokemon in Hoenn, and certainly routes that have far less birds. But, isn't that reason enough to try again? You cannot let the birds win. You're going to come back to this route, and you're going to find a brand new Pokemon, one that doesn't have wings, nor a beak, nor feathers, nor a hollow bone structure, nor a penchant for chirping or squawking, nor ANYTHING that might be considered even REMOTELY avian.

You can't let them win. That's why you're marching down the exact same path your walked before, eyes peering at the undergrowth and the shrubbery and conspicuously avoiding any perchable branches. You'll find something good this time. You just know it!

---

Spawn 1/3.

That worked.

...Wait, that worked? What the fuck? The fact that you haven't had an earthen spike driven through your spine confuses you just as much as you've confused him. You're glad you've got the mask on, because it hides your puzzled expression plenty well. Well, you're not one to look a gift Ponyta in the mouth, are you? You wanted him to be distracted, and now he's distracted. You're not going to get a better opportunity than this. Even if it isn't perfect, you have to take it.

"How little you truly know, stranger..." You murmur, just barely loud enough for him to hear. Slowly, you reach a hand into the pocket of your trenchcoat, and rest your hand upon the grip of your gun. "You are a puppet in the greater scheme of things, and I have come to cut your strings. Perish."

With that, you pull out your junker of a pistol out, aim it towards this monster of a man, and hammer the trigger as hard as you can, over and over, until the last bullet leaves the clip.

---

MATIAS SILPH

Finally, the other half of the meeting arrived. Luckily for the pair of deliverymen, the hard part of their mission was over. They had gotten the walkie talkie where it needed to be, and now all they needed to do was turn it on.

That tasks sounds easy enough, but between the two tiny Pokemon with a single braincell shared between them, it might as well be a monumental challenge. Salandit claws and Tarountula legs poke and prod just about every button and flick every switch, trying to activate the two-way radio. Eventually, any sort of cohesion falls apart entirely, and the scene devolves into the pair of them jumping up and down on the walkie talkie as though it's a trampoline. Surprisingly, though, that somehow works. The walkie-talkie finally turns on, signalled by a sharp crackle that causes both of the critters to recoil in shock, before quickly scurrying away from the device, lest they somehow accidentally turn it off again.

After a pause, a voice, crackly and low quality and far away, comes from the receiver.

"Hello? Hello. Anyone there? Anyone...? Did you knuckleheads accidentally turn this thing on again? I swear to Arceus..."

---

Aurelie Lefevre

Despite all of its best efforts, Skeledirge is forced out of his element. As the Corviknight closes the distance, he finds himself short on time and range alike, and before long, the crocodile finds himself staring down a powerful attack. He braces himself, but its far too little and far too late. The Steel Wing catches him under the jaw, and like an uppercut, the force hits him so hard that he's sent flying straight upward, twirling in the air before coming crashing down on the ground, unconscious. It seemed that the prior Wind Rage had already pushed him to the brink, and without time to recover, it was trivial to topple him over the edge.

One down, one to go. But just as the battle began to shift in Lam's favour, he would face an unexpected complication. Just as it seemed he was beginning to smooth things out, a new wrinkle revealed itself.

"BUZZ! BUZZ!! BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!"

A glorious glow consumed the insect, covering it from antennae to tarsus. It was an immediately recognisable phenomena, especially since Lam had just called upon it himself mere moments earlier - Mega Evolution. Cocooning itself in potential, the Beedrill burst forth as a greater version of itself, far faster and more vicious that its previous self. How was this possible? Was the trainer nearby? Questions were raised, but there wasn't nearly enough time to answer them. With its enhanced speed, it rushed towards the Talonflame as it still struggled to burn through its bonds, aiming a vicious Fell Stinger to pierce the bird straight through the stomach.

The message it sent was clear - No more games. No more playing around. It's time to get serious.

---

lam logan

"Cool."

You're not particularly impressed by the death, resurrection, and capture of Stakataka. Though, that might be because you're coming down from the huge line of coke you did before you left. Was that a mistake? Probably! You tried buying from a new dealer, and now that you're past the high, you can practically feel the rat poison gnawing at your brain. Or, is that just the effect of all the high-speed acceleration that you've experienced in the past few seconds? That's just one of life's great mysteries, never to be solved.

You sniff the air. Smells like iron, burnt toast, and a good time to get the hell out of dodge. Despite all the good vibes going around, you're still on a hostile alien world that'll take any opportunity given to atomise you. You don't want to stick around, especially with that gigantic lightbulb monster still out and about.

"Alright, let's get out of here."

You turn to leave, only to be greeted by sheer cliff. Oh, yeah. You're at the bottom of a giant chasm. A chasm you leapt hundreds of feet to get to the bottom of. Hm.

"...How do we get out of here?"

---

howard slayte Grigori Sokolov
tvMVJNUL

Well, you suppose it technically isn't a bird. Technically.

It does feel a little like you're being spited by a higher power, though. Really, of all the Psychic types in the whole wide world, you get the one that most resembles a bird? Your eyes narrow as you watch the technicolour ostritch strut about the place, gauging your options. You do suppose it has a sort of audacity to it, doesn't it? It's appealing in the abstract sort of way, like if an acid trip grew legs and feathers and wings and a beak. It's got a vibe.

You take a moment to compare it to your other options: It's either this pastel bird freak, the toucan that keeps reminding you of cereal, the deeply problematic parrot, or going home empty-handed. Yeah, when you put it like that, it's hardly even a choice, is it?

Into the ball it goes. Hup!

---

Catching Spaffy.

Two great beasts of iron clashed against one another, and while Aggron was clearly the stronger of the two, it was nevertheless forced back by the Lairon. The concussive force of the Metal Burst sent him reeling, staggering back as though its brain had been bounced around its steel skull. Despite that, the Aggron did not seem deterred by "losing" the exchange of blows. If anything, it only seemed to infuriate it.

Territorial instinct began to kick in, overriding whatever previous orders it had been given. To be challenged so brazenly by one of its lessers? Such an insult would not go unpunished. Stepping forward, it let out a roar of sheer anger, one that shook the tunnel around them from floor to ceiling. It was time to put this arrogant whelp in their place!

Tossing the bodies it was carrying down to the ground like discarded trash, Aggron reared its head back once more. Except this time, it wasn't going to rely on anything as pedestrian as an Iron Head. No, instead of its hardiness, it would rely on sheer brute strength alone.

And like a hammer coming down upon a nail, the Aggron unleashed a Head Smash upon Lairon, aiming to break both its lesser's shell and spirit with one blow.

---

Isaac Merlo

The shock fades. Reality sets in. Yes, you did, in fact, just catch this alien. There are millions of people on this Earth, and you are now one of the privileged few who can say they own an extra-terrestrial. You crouch down to pick up the Pokeball, and stare at it for a moment. This is a momentous occasion, not just for you, not just for Team Rocket, but for the entire world. And, of course, you treat such an event with all the dignity and gravitas it deserves.

"...LET'S, FUCKING, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Yeah, no, you pop off like a Rattata after your skinner box spits out a piece of cheese. You scream and cackle like a madman as you skip around the place, marvelling at the Pokeball you hold in your hands. Holy SHIT, you are so COOL, you are so SEXY, you are so SMART, you are the BEST! You milk this win for all that it's worth, because Arceus knows you don't win often. It takes about two minutes of solid hooting and hollering before you quiet down, and that's only because your throat was starting to get sore.

In the meantime, it seems as though Howard has had some kind of idea. Shock the blocks? Sure, why not. Does it make any sense? No, but it DOES give you an opportunity to take your brand new cable creature for a spin.

"Alright, pal!" You toss the Pokeball out, the Xurkitree reappearing from the red flash with crossed arms and an unamused lack-of-expression on their lack-of-face. It doesn't take a genius to figure out they're unhappy about the situation, but you're sure they'll warm up to it eventually. For now, he's here, and that good enough for you. "Do me a favour and hit our base with an... Electric... Thing!"

...

Nothing, huh? Well, you probably should have expected this, shouldn't you?

"Alright, well, y'know? That's fine. We'll work on that later." You play it off, switching gears from Plan A, asking nicely, to Plan B, reckless improvisation. Walking up to the wire monster, you grab its plug-like tail, much to the mild irritation of its owner. "I just need to borrow this for a second, and...!"

CLUNK! You proceed to plug your alien directly into what remains of the living structure, before shooting Howard an Grigori a thumbs-up.

---

howard slayte Grigori Sokolov

A beach. A featureless, directionless, and entirely indistinct beach. That really narrowed it down, didn't it? Now instead of searching all of Route 105, you just have to scour the dozen or so beaches. Simple! It's just as easy as finding a needle in a haystack, but the haystack is also an active warzone! It's practically child's play!

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffffffffffffffffffffffine! It's fine! Everything is just fine. Just stay there, alright? Stay there. STAY THERE. DON'T MOVE FROM THAT BEACH. I WILL FIND YOU. I'LL BE THERE SOON."

As you hang up your phone, you take a moment to think about the nightmarishly complex task you just signed yourself up for, and the regret immediately sets in. Maybe it would have been better to let Howard get taken to a black site by League agents? It certainly would've been less torturous than what you're about to go through. Still, what's done is done. All you can do now is put the mask upon your face, put the hat upon your head, and steel your resolve as you begin your agonisingly long and frustratingly vague hunt.

---

Eris Halla

PURCHASING/REDEEMING

welcome to the poké mart!

1X type 3 evo - dartrix into decidueye (grass/ghost, and thus, discounted) (25 PD)

TOTAL

do come again!

25 PD

A Chatot? Hm. Interesting, interesting... You really aren't in the market for a bird right now, but you've always wanted a Chatot. It just seemed like such a helpful fellow! It can work as a calendar, a reminder, an alarm, the works! It's got all the features of a mobile phone, except less conveinent, harder to use, and just generally worse in all regards. Still!

"What do you say, bud? Want to come along for the ride?"

"Squawk! Squawk! Alolans out, Alolans out! SQUAWK! Stop taking our jobs, SQUAWK!"

...On second thought, maybe you don't need this Chatot on your team. Turning your back on the xenophobic parrot, you walk away, scorning both it and its foul ideologies. Alright, two duds in a row, but it's fine. You've still got a shot at finding something good! C'mon, no whammies, no whammies, no whammies!

---

Third and final spawn, make it count professor