"...What?"

You've lost track of the conversation. Are you supposed to open the bag, or not? Which of those options makes you the Skitty in this scenario? You idly tap your fingers upon the clasps, trying to untangle the mess of a question you asked and the answer you received, before calling it quits and giving up entirely.

"Alright, look: I'll meet you halfway." You declare, extending half of the bag over towards Alba, as though offering it to him. "You open one clasp, I'll open one clasp. That way, neither of us are Skitty, and we get to see what's in the bag. Deal?"

You think it's a pretty good deal. After all, it means you won't take full blame when this stupid decision inevitably backfires on you.

---

Alba Evovae

PURCHASING/REDEEMING

welcome to the poké mart!

1X Gacha for MY FATEBORN CHAMPION OF DREAMS WREATHED IN DEEP SHADOW (50 PD)

TOTAL

do come again!

50 PD

Starmie, huh?

...Yeah, fuck it, why not? There's room on your stage for two stars. Not that you're much of a star, mind. You're still waiting to hear back about that reality TV show, and your music career... Anyway! No point fixating on that. After all, you've still got to catch this thing! You idly toss an empty Pokeball up and down, catching and releasing, as you figure out how best to approach the situation.

Hmm. Yeah, alright. You've figured it out. All you've got to do is land your throw in that big red spot in the centre of its body, like it's a bullseye. That'll definitely net you a critical capture, which is a thing that is definitely real and totally exists. You absolutely did not just make it up right now. It's assuredly a completely real and not fake thing.

You line up the throw, as though you're aiming a dart, and then toss.

"Hup!"

---

Catching Star Me.

"I'm not disregarding the Kanto Convention, Howard." You attempt to explain yourself, against your better judgement. In this moment, you are a Stakataka, trying to explain the nuance of Ultra Megalopolis architecture to a wild Mankey. It is a fruitless endeavour, and the Mankey doesn't have a banana, either, so neither of you are going to be happy. Still, your ego demands that you try. "Operation Yoink is tailor-made to avoid breaching my personal moral compass."

"Wait, you have a moral compass?" Imaginary Howard sounds off in your brain. In response, you shoot the archaeologist a dirty look, as though trying to warn him against it. Then, you continue.

"AND, the ransom is being handled. See, I've got this guy on it, and he's going to have it all sent in cryptocurrency, then laundered, then transferred into Pokedollars, then laundered again, then transferred into golden coins, then laundered again, yadda yadda, yadda yadda... Long story short, it's all figured out. See, that's the difference between you and me, Howard. You? Sure, you're book smart, but me? I'm money smart. So really, who's more intelligent?"

Idly, you grab a can of Dr Perky and toss it over to him. You don't even charge him for it, either. After all, when all's said and done, what's a buck or two compared to the tens of thousands that'll be stashed under your mattress? Still, while you're willing to softball the financial debt, there's still a more pressing debt that you can be plenty petty about.

"You're welcome, by the way."

---

howard slayte

While your flurry of bullets puts plenty of holes in the man, none of them are particularly fatal. Before you can find the decisive shot, your line of fire is blocked by an invisible, impenetrable wall. Well, shit, huh? Your gamble paid off, but instead of hitting triple sevens, you got three cherries. It feels greedy, but considering the circumstances, you were still hoping for more.

Oh well. You’ve still got the advantage here. Even if he’s stronger than you, you’re the one with the momentum. If he wants to hide in his box, then that just means it’s time for you to start laying on the pressure…

Idea #2: Keep hitting him. Of course, your pistol is running short of ammo, and you’re not eager to relent and reload with him right in front of you. Luckily, he’s not the only one with Pokemon to call on, and you have just the scheme in mind to keep his back against the ropes.

”Cofagrigus! OMINOUS WIND!”

In the same instant that it emerges from its Pokeball, the sentient sarcophagus obliges, releasing a gust of sinister energy towards Matias and Mime alike. 

---

MATIAS SILPH

Indeed, the fish truly was nuts. If only they were a tenth as intelligent as they were mad, hm? Perhaps then, its next and final move wouldn't have gone quite so so poorly for it.

THUMP! The Basculegion is hit hard head-on, sending out a shower of blood and scales alike. BZZZT! A split second later, a crack of electricity surges into the fresh wound, sending lightning coursing through the body from jaw to fin. It's a vicious and effective attack, enough to easily knock out a lesser Water-type with a single blow. Hell, even the strongest Pokemon in the sea wouldn't be able to handle more than a few.

So of course, the Electivire hit it dozens.

THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP!
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!
"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

And with one final strike, a fist as heavy as the hammer of the Gods hit the bloody and beaten Basculegion head on, and sent it spiralling off into the distance, flying off until it was little more than a speck upon the horizon.

BASCULEGION - DEFEATED.

---

Laurence Anderson
Basculegion is knocked out!

MP TOTAL -
100 MP for Shore.
50 MP for 5 IC Posts.
10 MP for knocking out/killing another Pokemon.
50 MP for getting Basculegion knocked out.
100 MP for completing an RT Mission.
150 MP for completing an RT Battle.
50 MP for participation.
250 MP for tying.
TOTAL MP = 760MP.

It seemed that no matter what angle of attack the Basculegion took, the Electivire was able to shake it off and lash back with an attack of its own. Case in point, the fish was pushed back by the Stomping Tantrum, forced to fling itself out of harm's way, lest it get crushed underfoot. One could almost see the irritation building upon its face: Its eyes slowly narrowed, its teeth began to clench, and its phantasmal moustache seemed to droop with disdain.

Even with the sea by its back, this was a disadvantageous match-up. Electric-types were the natural enemy of Water-types, able to attack both them and their environment with a single attack. Perhaps, if the Electivire had been neck-deep in the brine, the Basculegion might have stood a chance, but while it had its feet firmly planted on land? That was a difficult prospect.

But of course, there was more than one way to win this fight, wasn't there? After all, it hadn't come here to try and defeat the lumbering brute. No, it was here to defeat its trainer.

"BAHA! BAHAHAHAHAHA! BASCULEGION!"

Like a torpedo, the fish launched forth towards Lars upon an Aqua Jet. All the while, it let out a deep and ghostly laugh, as though this cheap shot were a genius and revolutionary ploy and not a standard play from the book of dirty tricks. Then again, the Ranger wouldn't have much chance to dispute that if he was busy choking on seawater, would he?

---

Laurence Anderson

PURCHASING/REDEEMING

welcome to the poké mart!

1X type 1 evolution, girafarig to farigiraf (free from poison production PD)

TOTAL

do come again!

0 PD

• player/ooc name: RaptorAttacks
• character tags: Shred
• dropped characters' tags (if applicable): Valerie Katraz Beatrix Nash Jester Fawkes Levi Lovelace (I'M SORRY I WILL APP A LEAGUE CHARACTER I DON'T DROP SOMEDAY :BLUECAT_FALLEN:)
• ic posts for characters: Shrediddly
• are characters in directories?: Y
• any notes/comments: milf coming soon

The enemy was deep behind their lines, and that simply wouldn't do.

Being so high up, Shalin could see the enemies approach from far below. That included a pair of hostiles taking off from the ground and flying up to intercept her. Two of them, one Crobat and one Gliscor, both in hot pursuit. Pincers snapped in anticipation and fangs gnashed with disdain as they grew closer, unburdened by any rider to slow them down. The odds would not seem to be in her favour, and judging by the aggression of her foes, the two of them certainly knew it.

"Cro Cro!"

"Gliiiiscor!"

Energy coalesced around Crobat's wings, and with a well-timed flap, it sent forth a barrage of Air Slashes towards the Beedrill. Meanwhile, the Gliscor thrust its tail forth like a javelin, firing a Poison Sting aimed to hit the insect's rider.

---

Shalin Nariya

Forty-seven minutes. That's how long it takes to find the particular beach you're looking for. Forty-seven minutes spent flying around on the back of your Golurk, narrowly avoided enemy combatants and artillery fire, spent flying to every dune and sandbar you can see. Eventually, however, you manage to spot a conveinent S.O.S on one particular beach, like the kind you'd see in a movie about castaways on a deserted island. Heword Slate... Yeah, this is your stop.

"Take us down, bud."

CONFIRMATION: Affirmative.

With that, roaring thrusters begin to quiet, and your altitude begins to lower. It isn't long before a pair of stone-carved feet touch down on the sand. As you climb off the back of your Golurk and down to the beach, you quickly clock the location of Howard's body and the girl. Alright! Time to get this over with.

"You." You point a finger towards the child, wreathed in the questionable personality of this masked, coated figure you've disguised yourself as. "Hand over the body. Now."

---

Eris Halla
Shred's Disguise

"Ow! That hurt, you fucker..."

Your hands idly move to the impact site of the slap, poking your cheek a few times. Maybe "hurt" was too strong a word? Sure, it stings, but that'll fade after a few minutes. It turns out, it didn't really take all that much to rouse a "legendary" Pokemon from their eternal slumber, which makes sense, because it did about as much damage to you as your phone's alarm.

You take a sip of your Dr Perky as Howard goes through the five stages of waking up, cycling through unconsciousness into sensory overload into blind panic into great dread into fine and awake, all in the course of a few seconds. And then, immediately afterward, he clocks on to the Donphan in the room. Well, you knew this could happen, didn't you? That was the risk you took when you brought him down here, and you knew about it, but you still took it, so you can't really blame anyone but yourself. Still, how do you actually explain to Howard Slayte why you have a makeshift dungeon in this nowhere cave in the middle of an active battlefield?

"It's Operation Yoink."

You look at him for a few seconds, waiting. Maybe you'll get lucky, and he'll just "get it"? After you receive nothing but a blank stare in response, you frown. No dice, huh? Fine. You'll just have to give him the abridged version and hope he doesn't overthink it.

"I'm scamming the League out of a metric shitload of money by capturing a bunch of their goons, demanding payment for their release, and bamboozling them on the ransoms. Any questions?"

---

howard slayte

Wide eyes grew even wider as they watched the spectacle unfolding in front of them. From sheer unquestioning dominance, pushed back to the brink of equal footing. Now, Aggron was not looking down upon an undeniable inferior, but a prospective equal. This was no longer a pup that didn't know its place: This was a worthy challenger.

And that only made the iron beast even angrier.

"AGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOON!"

Once again, it reared back, preparing to put all of its might into an attack. Now, however, the recklessness of its Head Smash was coming back to bite it. The recoil had already drained its reserves of stamina, and though no signs showed through to its flawless steel skin, it had done plenty of internal damage, too. Still, a little thing like that wasn't going to stop it. Even if it couldn't rely on its head, it could still defeat this foe. Its metal body gleamed as it took a low stance, before it launched forth, aiming to meet the Body Press with a Heavy Slam. A test of strength, of raw might, where only the better of the two would budge. Thus, like the collision of two greatswords, the pair of Aggron would--

--CRASH!

Before the unstoppable force and immovable object could collide, the force was stopped and the object was moved. Both of them were sent skidding back as a third challenger made itself known, bursting into the tunnel as it Dug out from the earth below. For most, this intruder would be an enigma, unknown to the modern world of Pokemon. For one as well ventured as Isaac, however, its primordial body, ethereal aura, and unmistakable ivories would immediately identify it.

Great Tusk.

---

Isaac Merlo