Kouji
He/Him
23
August 29th
Rustboro
Heterosexual
Smuggler/Violence
Grunt
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
TAG WITH @mrjoker
Kouji Matsubara
BATTLE OF PETALBURG: MAIN EVENT
POSTED ON Aug 25, 2024 18:49:35 GMT
[nospaces] [attr="class","fakebq"] [attr=class","body"] [attr="class","text"] "FUCK YOUR DREAM.” [break][break] It was a heavy right, Kouji threw everything he had behind it; his broken arm swinging pointlessly beside him, his body spun enough that he almost fell onto his arse, all aimed at a singular person. [break][break] howard slayte[break][break] It was always the whims and wants of other people, their dreams, their wishes, their feelings…It was always about somebody else, he wouldn’t have been standing here if it wasn’t for the man standing there. All of this wouldn’t have happened. He sucked in a deep breath, filling his lungs with the air it so desperately needed, his mind clearing just a little bit from the red he had seen for a moment. [break][break] Wasn’t he the same? [break][break] When had he started putting his own feelings in front of that of Rocket, his dreams? His hopes? It might’ve begun at Dewford, and it might’ve been set in stone within that Galarian Haze. He only realized this in Ever Grande, why had he struggled so much with something so simple; he glanced down at the Pokeball by his side, Urshifu standing beside him. [break][break] ”With all due politeness Admin Fox, fuck your dream.” [break][break] In all truth, it was time for Kouji to let go of his own dream, a world made for him wasn’t possible. He exhaled slowly. There wouldn’t be room for it, there wasn’t room for him in it anymore. [break][break] ”Fuck your feelings.”[break][break] He didn’t need them anymore, Kouji spoke to himself as he talked to Howard, the anger that had distorted his features cooled, an unreadable expression were the ashes leftover from the inferno of his rage. The pressure on the ball in his hand increased, and small cracks appeared on the sphere in his hand, holding his closest friend. [break][break] ”Do you believe the crap spilling outta your mouth right now?” He hadn’t heard everything, seen everything, but he had seen enough. The Giants, Regirock, and Regice; whatever they were, might have been behind it. Or perhaps it was the battlefield itself, he couldn’t tell. [break][break] But did Kouji believe what he himself was saying? [break][break] ”Are you happy with this bullcrap?”[break][break] Happiness had been a chance meeting in a forest. Shooting the shit while on watch. Getting chased by a horde of Garchomp and surviving. Exchanging fists and dreams. Watching an idol show in a break room. Picking strawberries. Reuniting with a childhood friend. Exchanging a promise upon a boat. Catching his first Pokemon. [break][break] But he had a role to play, weakness couldn’t be tolerated anymore, he had been weak for too long; fretting over what he should have been. Should instead of doing, that had been his problem. He didn’t have time for that now, not when everything they’ve worked for could collapse, he had a job to do. He was rocket. [break][break] Did he even have to power to do what he was about to? [break][break] ”Admin Fox, you’re under arrest for the murder of a Superior. I ain’t no cop, so you don’t have the right to remain silent. I can’t promise crap if you resist.”[break][break] He crushed the pokeball in his hand, wishing goodbye a goodbye to many things, Absol foremost amongst them. He put aside his fears of the future, put to bed his grudges against the world, and the envy he felt towards those who could live a normal life. [break][break] Only Rocket mattered, it was all that mattered [break][break] He had finally become the perfect little soldier his father had long wished for. An almost unfeeling machine, a monster in human skin; all the things Shuuji Matsubara had pushed him to be since birth, and Kouji Matsubara hated himself for it. [break][break] Kanto had well and truly arrived. [attr="class","fakebqooc"] @tag [break] NOTES ✚ Kouji goes to punch Howard, questions Howard while questioning himself. [break] ✚ He counts through all of his experiences since joining rocket, reaches a conclusion of his own, and realizes of far he'd drifted from what he was supposed to do. Arrives at a different conclusion. Hates himself for it. 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