Lex’s gaze turned away shamefully at the fresh wound. She shouldn’t have said that. But then again, Lex was still quite naïve when it came to love. Sure, she understood what it felt like with Killian. But outside of that her only experience was her parents who seemed to be able to switch it on and off like a light switch. When she fell for Killian she fell fast and hard. It was so natural; he was the missing piece that made her whole. If he was so easy to love, why would it be hard to stop?

She learned quite painfully after the fact that it was impossible. Once you tasted true, deep, messy love everything else paled in comparison. But Lex always considered Killian to be stronger than her in so many ways. If anyone could handle it, he could. He’d be fine. But he wasn’t, and that was on her.

The ’I love you’ brought her attention back to him. It wasn’t casual this time. She could feel the passion in his voice. The part of her that lie dormant, drowning in the fear and darkness stirred to start fighting back against it. His words set her soul on fire and her heart swelled in her chest. There was a glimmer of hope. He didn’t hate her. Even after all this, he still loved her.

Normally, Lex would kiss him with a ravenous hunger; she could never get enough of Killian. But this one was different. It had been so long and the emotions were so raw and the wounds so fresh that she chose to be gentle. She wanted to savor it and really feel him as if it was possibly the last kiss they’d share. Lex hoped that wasn’t true, but she’d never take it for granted again.

Her eyes closed, squeezing out the last of the remaining tears. When their lips met, she felt like she was flying. Her hand moved from his chest to the nape of his neck, twirling its fingers into his shaggy brown hair. The kiss was long, slow, and passionate. She poured everything she was feeling into it: all of her love, pain, fear, and longing. It was the unspoken story of her past year and the footnotes to what she was feeling now in this moment. Within it she asked for his forgiveness, asked him to stay, asked him to sweep her off her feet and back the life they knew before all this, although impossible.

Lex was so lost in him and the moment that she forgot to breathe. She pulled away rather suddenly to come up for air. But she didn’t pull away far. She kept her forehead gently pressed against his, the air between them hot with their breath, “I love you, Killian,” she whispered softly, “I’ve missed you so much it hurts,” she admitted.

It was physically painful to break away from him, but Lex stepped back. She needed to clean herself up. She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hands, “Look at me, I’m a fucking mess,” she grumbled to herself, turning her back towards Killian while she furiously wiped at the smudged mascara in an attempt to get rid of it.

Killian Decker

His words made her lips twitch into a wide smile before she pulled away. It was just what she needed to hear. Although caught up in the present, she had hope for the future; Their future together. It was a mystery but the only thing she cared about was him being in it.

As Lex rubbed at her eyes, she could hear Killian move from behind her. She too moved towards the window, eyeing the bottle of whiskey while he teased her. She smirked at the joke, stealing a look back. Reaching for the whiskey she paused. The word forever hung in the air in the brief moment before he continued. But Lex clung to it. The void in her stomach disappeared, replaced by an unmeasurable happiness she hadn’t experienced in a long time.

She turned around at the question. The brow above her scarred eye rose in piqued interest. Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around? She was the one who buried them in this hole to begin with. She should be asking if he would have her. As far Lex was concerned, she was in need of some serious redemption, not him. She looked forward to a lifetime of making it up to him.

Lex quickly forgot about the whiskey. There was one thing she loved more in life than the sweet oaky burn of the booze and she was looking at it. Her amber eyes traced Killian lying on her bed while her lips curved into a playful grin. There was no doubt in her mind that Killian knew exactly what he was doing. He was a smart man with years of experience driving her wild. He knew she couldn’t resist, and Lex took the bait.

She moved to the bed and crawled over him until she replaced the rather dull view of her ceiling. Her eyes held a hint of a playful lust as they peered down at Killian. A soft smile spread across her red lips while she gently traced the curve of his jaw with one finger, “Of course. Forever. And another forever after that,” she promised. Lex leaned forward to gently kiss his lips then moved to his jaw, then his neck, then his collarbone.

She’d have him, all of him, over and over and over again until they lie in a sweaty, tangled mess while the first hues of the morning sun peeked through the apartment’s single window.

Killian would find nothing different about her. She bore the same tattoos and scars she has collected over the years they have spent together. She still loved with the same voracious passion she reserved only for him. But after a year apart there were times she would slow down and savor the moment. Even after all this Lex wouldn’t sleep. It was not because of the fear she had become accustomed to, but because of the way he set her soul on fire. She’d lie as close to him as she could, intoxicated by his scent and the warmth of his body against hers. There was no need to sleep and dream. Nothing beat this present moment.

Killian Decker