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POSTED ON Oct 21, 2021 10:50:03 GMT

his voice is as equally calm, steady, but it lacks a familiar confidence. briefly, his mind wanders, and it's after a soft sigh that he asks:

"why is it important, mars?"
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Oct 21, 2021 12:37:54 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","rigid"]

[attr="class","rigidw"]

Why is it important?
[break][break]
The answer isn’t an easy one, nor is it a simple one, but it’s one that he knows he should give. It’s one that has changed a lot from the one he would have given when first moving to Hoenn, and in truth, even if he may not believe it, Cian is a big part of the reason it has…
[break][break]
”Because I have been powerless most of my life.”
[break][break]
This time, he does look away, because this is something that’s all too difficult to admit for someone like Mars, and even if pushing all the painful memories aside, with it comes shame.
[break][break]
Still, he doesn’t let go of Cian’s hand, those gentle circles still being traced.
[break][break]
”Too powerless to stop them from taking away everything I ever loved, to even stand against them… To protect the things that are important to me...”
[break][break]
It’s not really about revenge anymore, is it?
[break][break]
It’s about wanting to live his own life. About his making his own choices. About being tired of being controlled. And, most of all: about the endless guilt of knowing that loving Cian puts a target on his back – that they could so easily hurt him like they hurt those before him.
[break][break]
”I want to be free from them, and this gives me a chance to work towards that… A chance to protect the people I love.”
[break][break]
The people he loves.
[break][break]
Cian.
[break][break]
Since, really, who else matters that much to Mars?
[break][break]
”Not just from my family, but from Team Rocket too, Cian.”
[break][break]
Among many reasons, these are the most important ones.

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

[attr="class","rigidpokes"]

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POSTED ON Oct 21, 2021 15:15:37 GMT

boruta maher likes this

all of it makes sense, all of it he understands, but it's just so difficult to come to terms with them; even more so after his recent talk with boruta maher.

he closes his eyes, letting frustration slowly seep away as he tilts his head back to rest against the sofa.

"i don't understand why you need to be with them to achieve that."

just leave.

it's naive of him to think of it that simply.

"look — you do you, mars. i'll be here either way."
Martín del Mar
☉

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Azul

Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Oct 21, 2021 15:44:26 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","rigid"]

[attr="class","rigidw"]

Of course he doesn’t understand.
[break][break]
How could Cian ever understand?
[break][break]
Even after Mars told him about his past, about the way his father had taken him away and what happened as a result, about how Cosima and him wanted to escape and what his family did to stop them… Cian never experienced anything like that, so how could he possibly even begin to imagine what it's like?
[break][break]
Mars needs Team Rocket, because he knows just leaving isn’t enough.
[break][break]
A deal with the devil, and yet… still a lesser evil in his own opinion.
[break][break]
”...Because I can’t do it on my own.”
[break][break]
He admits to it, if only to Cian, but when he does, the words come in the company of a tired and defeated sigh. How could he possibly make him understand? It’s impossible, because all the reasons Mars has to believe this are things he hopes Cian never has to go through…
[break][break]
The next question is quiet, a mere whisper of a thought spoken out loud:
[break][break]
”Can you imagine what it’s like to see the people you love get killed? They have taken everything from me, Cian…”
[break][break]
There's pain, but what hurts the most is asking Cian to imagine such a terrible thing.

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

[attr="class","rigidpokes"]

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Oct 22, 2021 9:50:03 GMT

not everything.

he withdraws his hand away, retreating, and his gaze soon follows.

"think bigger than the binds of blood."

a sigh escapes.

"i don't think you're doing that."
Martín del Mar
☉

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TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Oct 22, 2021 10:54:44 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","rigid"]

[attr="class","rigidw"]

So, that’s it, then?
[break][break]
That’s how it’s going to be?
[break][break]
Maybe he’s meant to have nothing at all after all. Maybe there’s no changing things.
[break][break]
Even if he still doesn’t let go of Cian’s hand, he looks away too.
[break][break]
”I am.”
[break][break]
This isn’t just about protecting Cian from his family, after all, but what’s the point in explaining that? Why should he bother, when his words will be ignored?

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

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POSTED ON Oct 22, 2021 13:28:41 GMT

the silence that washes over them is damning. he dreads it, despising every moment before he can finally take it no more.

"...i'm getting out of rocket."

no matter how subtle, he hesitates to share the next few words.

"bo's going to help me."
Martín del Mar
☉

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Azul

Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Oct 22, 2021 13:46:03 GMT

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[attr="class","rigid"]

[attr="class","rigidw"]

”I know you want to leave.”
[break][break]
Of course he does, he has known as much from the beginning. He had promised he would help, that he would be here for Cian even if he left.
[break][break]
Even now, that promise still stands.
[break][break]
Mars has never been one to go against his word, especially when it comes to something so important.
[break][break]
”It’s part of why I need to do this.”
[break][break]
He hadn’t wanted to say it, because he knows it will probably make Cian feel responsible, but it needs to be said, doesn’t it?
[break][break]
He sighs, and finally, he lets go, standing from the couch and walking towards the window next to which the Castform floats.
[break][break]
”Leaving won’t be as easy as you make it sound, with your brother’s help or not. At least if I’m admin I can make sure you have a better chance at it.”
[break][break]
It’s as simple as that: Mars may never be able to leave Rocket, but Cian can. He deserves a better life.

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

[attr="class","rigidpokes"]

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POSTED ON Oct 22, 2021 16:09:34 GMT

leaving won't be easy in the slightest, which is why preparations need to be done. he's not an idiot — he knows it'll take time and help.

like mars' help.

guilt pangs in his chest.

"if i leave, it's only going to complicate things for you."

for everyone.

he sighs, frustration showing.

"i can't do this for much longer, mars."
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Oct 22, 2021 16:48:12 GMT

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[attr="class","rigid"]

[attr="class","rigidw"]

”It will, but you were already planning on leaving anyway, so that doesn’t matter.”
[break][break]
What’s the point of bringing it up now?
[break][break]
There’s no pettiness in his words, for he’s simply stating a fact. Is it selfish of Cian to want to leave despite knowing how it could affect the people he cares for in Rocket? Yes, it is, but Mars isn’t blaming him for it. He should leave. He deserves to leave.
[break][break]
Honey-coloured eyes drift to the small Castform, and gently, Mars pets the pokémon.
[break][break]
”Can't do what for much longer?”
[break][break]
Be in Team Rocket or be with him?
[break][break]
It hurts to even consider it.
[break][break]
”What would make you happy, Cian?”
[break][break]
Through it all, he looks out the window instead of looking at him.

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

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POSTED ON Oct 22, 2021 17:26:58 GMT

it's a misunderstanding that could spiral at any given moment. he realizes as much, and chooses to answer mars' first question.

"i can't be in rocket for much longer."

and to his second, there's no hesitation when he answers:

"being free."

he sighs.

"out of rocket. able to make my own choices. i just want to live the life i want, mars, not the life i was forced into."
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Oct 22, 2021 17:45:04 GMT

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[attr="class","rigid"]

[attr="class","rigidw"]

Being free.
[break][break]
How ironic, considering seeking freedom is the very reason Mars joined Team Rocket to begin with: to be free from his family.
[break][break]
To make his own path.
[break][break]
To make sure his family can never take anything else away from him or have any power over him...
[break][break]
How could he not understand what Cian wants?
[break][break]
And yet, even if he understands, even if he desperately wants to give him all the things he wants and see him happy, he can’t do that, can he?
[break][break]
”I know, Cian… I do too. But, even if you leave, you know Rocket will always be a part of your life as long as you have family there, right?”
[break][break]
There’s a sigh, fully aware that he didn’t mention the fact that he will always be there. Perhaps because, even if he may not want to admit it, there’s a part of Mars that fears that one day Cian will also choose to leave him behind.
[break][break]
Meanwhile, family is something he could never abandon, right?
[break][break]
”What will you do about them?”

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

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POSTED ON Oct 22, 2021 18:32:11 GMT

rocket will always be a part of your life.

"...not if i stand up to them."

he pauses, breathes.

"not if i fight them."

there is defiance that sparks. it's clear in his voice, in the slight quirk of his lips.

"i'll get them out eventually."
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Oct 22, 2021 19:45:41 GMT

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[attr="class","rigid"]

[attr="class","rigidw"]

It’s the defiance that makes Mars turn to face him, perhaps if only because it’s all too familiar.
[break][break]
To a painful degree, honestly.
[break][break]
’I’ll get them out eventually.’
[break][break]
Will he?
[break][break]
His family, maybe, but things are different between them, aren’t they? Mars will probably be in Team Rocket forever…
[break][break]
Still, doesn’t say this.
[break][break]
”Okay.”
[break][break]
What else is there to say? This is Cian’s choice.
[break][break]
”As long as it’s what you want.”

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

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