MARCH UPDATE

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POSTED ON Oct 22, 2021 20:07:42 GMT

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[attr="class","rigid"]

[attr="class","rigidw"]

Without Rocket, they probably would have never met, and perhaps that’s why it makes him uneasy to know that Cian wants to leave even if Mars isn’t the most avid fan of the organization there is.
[break][break]
It feels like Cian may want to leave him as well.
[break][break]
But, out of all people, Mars can recognize deep hatred when he sees it; that loathing of those who have taken freedom away from him.
[break][break]
It’s the hatred he himself feels for his family. It’s the reason he came to Hoenn to begin with.
[break][break]
With a sigh that may just also be out of acceptance, he steps forward, this time kneeling by his side to look up at him as Cian sits on the couch.
[break][break]
”We’ll figure it out, Cian.”
[break][break]
A smile, although it is one faint and full of a pain he doesn’t bother to hide.
[break][break]
”I love you too.”
[break][break]
Too much, perhaps.

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

[attr="class","rigidpokes"]

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Oct 23, 2021 8:39:22 GMT

it's not a smile he likes seeing. his hand reaches out to cup mars' cheek.

"we'll be fine."

his own smile is less painful, and more...hopeful.

"i promise."
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Oct 23, 2021 8:58:29 GMT

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It’s difficult for Mars to be hopeful in a situation like this, because he knows exactly what stands in their way. He knows how terrible the consequences might be if they make even a single mistake, and in his mind, those images of bloodshed and loss are all too clear and impossible to forget.
[break][break]
What if history repeats itself once again, this time because of Team Rocket?
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Mars doesn’t fear a lot of things in this life, but even if he tries to tell himself things will be alright, even if he tries to hide all of his concern, the thought terrifies him. It’s nightmarish.
[break][break]
And yet, he still leans into Cian’s touch, gently turning to kiss the palm of his hand.
[break][break]
”I hope so.”
[break][break]
Hope.
[break][break]
Where’s all that usual certainty of his? That endless confidence in the fact that he can achieve anything in the world?
[break][break]
The words that follow are nothing more than a whisper, and they’re spoken while looking away from him, perhaps because they’re a thought Mars never intended to voice:
[break][break]
”I don’t want to lose you too, Cian.”

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Oct 23, 2021 17:57:46 GMT

the usual certainty is missing but cian makes up for it. he shakes his head, letting his hand fall gently to find mars'.

"you won't."

and then, a sigh, because the road that awaits them is treacherous and possibly dead, but it's one they'll need to traverse.

"i'll be much safer once i get out."
Martín del Mar
☉

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POSTED ON Oct 23, 2021 18:28:18 GMT

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Will he be much safer?
[break][break]
Mars knows that chances that that’s not true at all. If they don’t do this right it could just put a target on his back, but that’s exactly why they need to make sure to do things the right way – to not make any mistakes.
[break][break]
All to make sure Cian can live the life he wants.
[break][break]
All to make sure he won’t have to deal with Team Rocket anymore.
[break][break]
All while Mars himself will have to stay…
[break][break]
There’s a sigh, and gently, he squeezes Cian’s hand.
[break][break]
”...You know I’ll still have to be in Team Rocket, right?”
[break][break]
Not just because of everything he owes them, not just because it would be impossible for him to leave quietly if he becomes an admin after all, but also for both their sakes; to make sure that Cian is safe.

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Oct 23, 2021 19:55:41 GMT

"...i know."

it'll complicate things, to say the least, but whether it's now or years later, he'll have to leave eventually, and he has a feeling it won't be easy for mars to.

he sighs as well, returning the squeeze of mars' hand.

"as long as you're okay with that, then i'm okay."
Martín del Mar
☉

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POSTED ON Oct 24, 2021 3:09:50 GMT

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In truth, he’s uneasy about it; it fills him with worries, and it makes him remember things he doesn’t want to remember.
[break][break]
He always knew this would happen, of course. He had prepared for it, and yet it’s still all too sudden, all too new, all too concerning…
[break][break]
Why do things have to be like this?
[break][break]
Why can’t they ever be simple?
[break][break]
But, even if things are like this, no matter how difficult, his answer to Cian’s words comes all too easily and without any doubt or hesitation:
[break][break]
”Cian, I love you, of course I’m okay with it.”
[break][break]
No matter how difficult it may be, of course he’ll still want to be with him.
[break][break]
Mars meets his gaze, smiling faintly.

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

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POSTED ON Oct 24, 2021 9:05:27 GMT

things are about to become much more complicated. but they'll work through it — together.

he meets mars' gaze, returning a more prominent smile.

"i love you, too."
Martín del Mar
☉

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TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Oct 24, 2021 9:35:56 GMT

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In a way, those words in the company of that smile are the most reassuring thing Cian could have said and done, and even though there are still countless reasons to be concerned, Mars chooses to sigh and set them all aside – for now.
[break][break]
Gently squeezing his hand, he moves to sit next to Cian, and what follows isn’t a kiss but a hug; holding him close while saying nothing at all.
[break][break]
What else is there to say, anyway?
[break][break]
Perhaps a single thing, one that is spoken as no more than a whisper while still holding onto him:
[break][break]
”Can I tell you a secret?”
[break][break]
Apparently, there will always be secrets, but that doesn’t mean they’re all terrible things.
[break][break]
”I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like you, but I’m really glad to have you in my life, Cian.”

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

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POSTED ON Oct 24, 2021 18:52:38 GMT

"a secret?"

he perks up a little, nodding as he smiles.

"sure."

what's another to the many they have?

this one, however, isn't as bad as he thought. it's actually rather sweet.

"i'm glad to have you in mine, too."

he reaches out for mars' cheek only to lightly slap him.

"and you deserve good things, mars."
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Oct 24, 2021 19:25:03 GMT

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’You deserve good things, Mars.’
[break][break]
Does he deserve good things?
[break][break]
Mars tells himself as much all the time, he acts as if he deserves everything in the world, but the truth is that even when in the presence of that ’you’ that often seems to make him smile so easily as of late, those words are still hard to believe.
[break][break]
How could he believe them, when every time he has had something good it has been taken away from him in the most painful way possible? But, things will be different this time, won’t they? Isn’t that what he’s fighting for? What he’s trying to accomplish?
[break][break]
He pouts at the slap, meeting Cian’s gaze.
[break][break]
”That hurt.
[break][break]
Dramatic as always, but the words come in the company of a chuckle, and it’s a smile that remains as he leans in to kiss Cian’s cheek, whispering to his ear:
[break][break]
”You deserve good things too, Cian.”
[break][break]
Great things, actually.

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Oct 25, 2021 4:08:33 GMT

so dramatic, but expected.

"i know i do."

the response comes naturally, without hesitation as he returns the whisper.

and after a brief pause, he adds:

"...that's why i'm trying to leave."
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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TAG WITH @mars

POSTED ON Oct 25, 2021 4:41:24 GMT

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It hurts to hear it, but he knows it’s true, because even with all the dangers that come with the decision, choosing to leave will always be much better for Cian than remaining in Team Rocket.
[break][break]
It’s the same as the position Mars himself is in; it’s the same as how happy he’s been while knowing all too well how many risks he’s taking.
[break][break]
How many risks he continues to take…
[break][break]
Risks that apparently keep on increasing.
[break][break]
”I know, and it’s why I need to stay.”
[break][break]
While there’s a hint of pain in that faint smile of his, it’s a smile all the same, and a hand reaches up to cup Cian’s cheek, caressing it.
[break][break]
”...For the good things I deserve.”
[break][break]
For his freedom, for Cian, and for the future together.

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Oct 26, 2021 5:04:10 GMT

"i know."

it pains him to hear, too, but he knows what rocket means to mars and why he's choosing to stay.

he sighs, leaning into mars' touch.

"just...remember to leave when you can."
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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