NADIR

DAY 1 // THE FIRST VISITOR

“I KNOW THAT.”

admission of hurt, through tone and volume, open up another pathway of their conversation. just as anger begets more anger, vulnerability invites a softness that allows the room to return to equilibrium.

“but i am not infallible.”

“i am a single person.”

“so unless you want me to stuff you into a pokeball or chain you to my desk, i cannot always be there for you.”

[attr="class","spiralpee"]
illeana reyes

NADIR

DAY 1 // THE FIRST VISITOR

“…”

silence settles. fernando frowns. now is a chance to catch his breath. to let the exhaustion flow through him as he paints a picture of a man uncertain.

but he knows.

this conversation has already started to unravel deep within the recess of his mind. each action she takes is another turn on the chessboard. she decides to look sad? appeal to pity? stare at the ground whimpering like a fucking dog?

fine.

he reads her like a textbook and moves accordingly.

the metronome of this whole exchange teeters back into the center and fernando takes the lead.

he opens up the silence with a downcast sentence.

“most nights, i only get three hours of sleep.”

[attr="class","spiralpee"]
illeana reyes

NADIR

DAY 1 // THE FIRST VISITOR

“BECAUSE THAT’S ALL I CAN AFFORD.”

he clicks his tongue. she’s fallen for the bait. the moment she sinks her teeth into his question, he’s assured victory.

“on a good day, i wake up to less than thirty notifications.”

hook.

“i answer them. in order of priority. and track how many calories i’ve consumed for the week before my morning training. i train for two hours.”

line.

“depending on the day, i have three hours of meetings. some silph co. some league. when i finish, that’s when i actually get to start working.”

sinker.

“i listen to presentations. i calculate what options to take. decisions that people will ostracize me for. decisions that if i don’t make, people suffer. when i finish that, people start to leave for the day. it’s five pm. that’s when i get to have lunch.”

he tries to read for an interruption. for when she wants to interject. and he grows louder at the signs, cutting her off before she can protest.

“if i’m lucky, that’s when i get to check in on the people i care about. you, lopez, kingsman, alfric. i have to plan two weeks ahead. play tetris on my calendar until it fits. and those are the people i care about.”

his mouth starts to dry from the monologue but he continues.

“it’s dark by now. then i go out. not because i want to but because i have to socialize. to check in on people that need me or would otherwise feel shunned because i don’t take time out of my day.”

“i run a gym. i make sure people at silph co. are taken care and it’s the place to work. i look out for slateport and it’s people, anything to help restore that same spirit it had before team rocket took over.”

“and i have to be kind. kind to those who think i have a perfect life because i’m supposed to be rich. kind to those who talk shit about me behind my back and think i don’t hear it. kind to those who fear me because i’m too tired from stretching myself thin that i can’t force myself to smile all day.”

he points to his eye. the missing one. the gaping one that still has bits and pieces of his head sagging out of.

“this wouldn’t have happened five years ago. that’s why i train. this is what i’ve trained to prevent. but i’m getting sloppy illeana. i’m getting weaker.”

without so much as a care for the sanitary reasons, or the raw gross factor, fernando stuffs his dead optical nerve back into his socket and covers it with his bandage.

“because. i. am. stretched. too. thin. illeana.”

his posture goes rigid and his back straight. the councilman resides in the hospital bed as if it were his office.

“i. am. one. person. reyes!”

[attr="class","spiralpee"]
illeana reyes

NADIR

DAY 1 // THE FIRST VISITOR

“THEN WHO WILL?”

illeana reyes is not the first to tell him this. nor will she be the last. but no matter who says it, no matter what their intention, fernando’s argument stands atop an unconquerable hill.

who will?

he sniffs to clear his throat. to make sure his voice annunciates the pleading he wants to project. as if he were begging.

“illeana. i am not from here. i haven’t been in hoenn for more than five years.”

and then the begging stops.

“name a council member who’s served longer than me.”

“name an avatar who’s been entrusted longer than me.”

“out of the dozens of dozens of gym leaders we’ve cycled through, only three have lasted as long as i have.”

which puts him in an imposition.

“the last time i left it for someone else, team rocket took slateport. killed hundreds if not thousands.”

his eyes narrow and his eyebrows furrow.

“i will not let that happen again.”

[attr="class","spiralpee"]
illeana reyes

NADIR

DAY 1 // THE FIRST VISITOR

“I’M ALREADY DYING.”

a secret he had told Lulu Flint in confidence. the reason he advised GABRIEL BLACK not to partake. a well formulated lie that’s both deceptive, purposeful, and true all the same.

“which is why i will die trying.”

nostrils flare and a deep exhale steams from the opening.

“dying a year early is nothing if that means everyone will be safe.”

his voice lowers.

“if that means you’re safe.”

[attr="class","spiralpee"]
illeana reyes

NADIR

DAY 1 // THE FIRST VISITOR

THERE IS NO STOPPING THE INEVITABLE. people come and people go. what they do with that finite time dictates how they lived. it will be the hallmark of their legacy.

he struggles to get up. to plant his feet on the floor. he tries but fails, unable to push himself out of bed. so he lies there, beckoning for her.

“illeana. come here.”

[attr="class","spiralpee"]
illeana reyes