[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]is she the villain in this narrative?

he paints her as one, dressed up to be something she hadn't recognized. and somewhere along the way, she does find truth in his words.

blinded by her emotions, by betrayal and hurt, she had not once asked him about himself today. he's missing an eye and she didn't say a thing about it.

somehow, that little fact speaks more of her than of him.

does it mean she no longer cares about him? no... it means she's more selfish than ever before. gone are the days where she places others before herself.

she doesn't touch upon her wrongdoings, adding guilt to the list of emotions rising in her body. nothing she says can change what she's already done, or not done.

and so she scowls, crossing her arms over her chest in a defensive manner. the brace on her wrist glints in the overhead lights.

"then why do you feel anything for me? and why are you telling me now?"

why not before? why on his goddamn death bed?

she can't shake the nagging feeling that maybe it could have been different if he didn't bottle it up. it makes no difference now, though... the rift is growing wider with each angry word.

FERNANDO SILPH

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]peeling back layers is how she finds what she didn't understand.

it's clearer now, even with the barely audible admittance. for all fernando knows, for all he has... he doesn't know how to navigate this.

"you should have to."

it's soft but firm, as if a mother teaching a child to adjust their behavior.

"it's always been hot and cold with you, fernando."

sometimes personal, mostly business.

and how is she supposed to know any different?

actions only go so far when they're infrequent, driven by need and not affection.

"how am i supposed to know how you feel when it's not consistent? when you go days or weeks without seeing me?"

and the final piece of the puzzle comes in a soft admission to herself, stubbornly refusing to give it breath.

she had been too afraid to ask. the fear of rejection held her back and now, it hurts him.

FERNANDO SILPH

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]"i needed more, though."

she needed consistency, affection, love. and whether it is timing or fate or otherwise... she has found it elsewhere.

"even just a call would have been enough."

she doesn't ask for much of him. somehow, it still falls short of her expectations.

and when he speaks of his time, of his energy, she wants to pry into it without hesitation. now that the gates have been opened, she won't stop until she knows everything.

"i thought i knew you but i'm starting to think i don't."

not as well as she thought, anyway.

"why not someone else?"

FERNANDO SILPH

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]she's quiet for a moment. processing, analyzing, drawing up results.

and no matter which way she turns it, she doesn't find what she's looking for. not from him, not from what this is.

perhaps, in some way, that's why she didn't call. why she didn't ask. why she looked elsewhere just as he did.

"you were?"

somehow, it surprises her to hear he was happy.

she always thought she had to work so hard for his praise, his affection. and it's a shellshock to realize she didn't have to bend over backwards... that it had been hers.

too late.

she heaves out a sigh, emotional exhaustion beginning to weigh her down.

"and now?"

she's changed from then, just as he has. there's no more hope in her.

only ambition remains and it's proving deadly.

"with everything i've done? with everything i will do?" with the bodies left in lilycove at her own hands? with the remaining ones still to come?

his love is misplaced on her. it's wasted.

FERNANDO SILPH

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]there's no point in hiding it. he'll know soon enough...

"i recklessly opened a rift in lilycove while on a mission."

she misused league resources for her own personal gain.

and the result?

casualties.

"i killed the sea hoenn soldiers that came through."

there was no ounce of mercy in her body. Greyson Connors had to stop her, had to snap her out of the dazed state it left her in.

and after it all? she does not feel remorse.

"is that worthy of this?"

FERNANDO SILPH

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]even without the outrage lingering in the syllables of words... she would still begin pacing.

it starts slow, as if trying to move to release pent up energy.

and then, it picks up to a frantic pace. back and forth, back and forth... just like her current thoughts.

as she paces, she talks quickly, half to herself and half to him. it's an element of her unraveling, of her breaking.

"i miscalculated on what would happen."

she stills then resumes.

"it should have led to palkia, to the dimension it controls."

her eyes look dazed, muted, gone.

"the god of space could help. the god of space could solve everything. we wouldn't need the crystals to divert if we had palkia, right?"

it's unhinged thinking, her plan... driven by a dangerous ambition and left to breed consequences.

"it's here. i know it is. i just have to find it."

the scar on her back moves with her but it looks off. it looks alive beneath fluorescent lights. a centipede of paranoia slowly poisoning her into madness.

FERNANDO SILPH