[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]"when?"

she's two seconds from snarling, from baring teeth like a cornered animal.

"use your words."

he is, technically, using his words but she needs more.

she'll always need more.

FERNANDO SILPH

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]when he aims, it's to kill.

she exists in silence, unmoving as he lays into her. each word is purposeful, calculated, as if he knows exactly how to push her buttons. and where he is contained, she is unhinged.

"doing my fucking job."

it's an excuse at best but the events of sootopolis required immediate attention. the darkest day, unfortunately, also included the incapacitation of fernando silph. is it a price she would have liked to pay? no... but she didn't know.

just as he didn't know she went missing. somehow, guilt joins the anger in the face of realization. her capture compared to his was nothing. and yet, she's still bitter, angry, hateful.

"hell came to hoenn the same day, fernando."

and softly, in a hesitant whisper, she adds what he told her mere moments before: "i didn't know."

two sides of the same angry coin.

she wills herself to not help him, to observe as he struggles. it gives no satisfaction. and when his eye socket is revealed, she stares. her body subconsciously calls for healing mist but no amount of residual power from tapu lele can return what has been lost.

he continues the onslaught and she's certain her body has bullet holes now. it feels hollow.

the breaking point comes with the ultra beast war. she dissolves into quick, seething anger.

"we beat the megalopolans at meteor falls with no casualties at my expense. you survived unscathed because of me, because of tapu lele. it cost you nothing and it cost me fucking everything."

it cost her ALEXANDER STONE. it cost her tapu lele. it cost her sanity.

and what does she have to show for it? nothing.

angry tears bubble up at the water lines of her eyes and as they spill over, she scowls.

"even that stupid trip to sea hoenn! you were fine while i got split open from behind like a damn animal."

it's nothing in the grand scheme of things but... her distrust in him began after her return and has simply continued to fester with each wound she takes. it's nothing compared to his lost eye and yet, it feels like everything to her.

faintly, in between the rage, she feels fear. the fear of losing him, the fear of not being able to take this back. somehow, she isn't sure if she cares.

FERNANDO SILPH

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]the question catches her off guard.

confusion stuns her into silence. and for a moment, she processes the actual question.

he uses his words (good job ferny ily). with clarification, she scrunches her nose.

"no? why would i know that?"

FERNANDO SILPH

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]confusion dissolves into irritation.

"how the fuck was i supposed to know, fernando?"

perhaps she should have just accepted the apology... too late now.

"you expect me to magically know you needed me for once?" as if he hasn't before, as if he never did. sometimes, she's not sure if she convinces herself of this concept or if it truly exists.

it doesn't change a thing, unfortunately. he still got captured, hurt, and lost just as she did. there's a small satisfaction in knowing she wasn't alone.

FERNANDO SILPH

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]he explodes and truthfully, it's expected after what he's endured.

what isn't expected, however, is how much shrapnel hurts her.

at some point, she begins to shake. something about his tone reminds her of her father. she despises it.

"i don't know."

it's quiet at first until she's breaking down completely beneath the onslaught.

"i don't fucking know!"

it's stupid, she realizes. this whole thing is stupid. her reasoning has no factual foundation. it's all grounded in her own emotions and that's not enough to convince him to understand.

she's tried to be there for him, tried to be something, tried to be anything. it ended in failure, in him not noticing her absence for the two weeks she was a prisoner.

and somehow, she doesn't know if she can forgive that... just as he, very well, might not forgive her for this.

"i don't know why you said that! it doesn't make sense to me, fernando." how could he be glad she's okay but not know where she was for so long?

she takes a step back and she knows she's lost. she knows she's about to run, about to cower and tuck her tail between her legs. any fight she had was broken down and beaten until it died. all that's left is a scared, hurt, broken girl.

with a soft sob, she whispers into the silence his yelling leaves behind. "i -- just -- i just wanted to know why you didn't care." why couldn't he care?

the final nail in the coffin comes broken, defeated.

"i'm sorry."

FERNANDO SILPH

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]the lesson is effective. what he aims to teach, however, is different than what she's learning.

she's realizing a simple thing with painful clarity: fernando silph cares about no one but himself. she had believed once that she could change such a thing, even convinced herself of the silly notion.

and as is tradition, illeana reyes is wrong.

she stays quiet, verbally beaten into submission. and when he buries her arguments beneath logic and tough guy shit, he accidently touches upon a nerve.

abandoned him? she abandoned him?

her voice is too calm when it returns, when it claws its way out of her throat.

"i abandoned you?"

somehow... she doubts that.

FERNANDO SILPH