NADIR

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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nikki

illie, sap sipper
she/her
27
september 23rd
snowpoint city, sinnoh
bi curious
geneticist, alchemist
head professor
consumed
with what's to transpire.
5’8” height
5’8” height
you caged me and then you called me crazy; i am what i am 'cause you trained me.
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4,355 posts
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TAG WITH @illeana
illeana reyes
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 2:18:24 GMT
illeana reyes Avatar
[attr="class","illeana"]
[attr="class","illeana b"]
[attr="class","illeana i"]every word he utters is a heavy blow. one after another until she's battered and bruised.

and yet, she won't back down. not about this, not about alexander.

"you don't get to throw him in my face, fernando."

right after saying he loves her, too... what the fuck?

"do not throw the man i loved in my face over this, over me not saying it back. that's bullshit."

and exactly what he aimed for, isn't it?

no matter the aim, the story... she doesn't believe it, not in the way he hopes. the lie is crafted with a purpose but as the woman stuck between stone and silph, she isn't easily convinced. from an argument between her and alex to the actions of fernando silph despite knowing she was dating his "brother"... she's certain, now.

he's lying.

and the lie is not easily given up. she knows him well enough to understand he will not stop. it means she must switch tactics, must drop one topic and dig her heels into another. talking about alex won't bring him back and it certainly won't change anything about this situation. it just brings pain, enough that she wants to avoid it entirely.

"i hurt you? how? fucking enlighten me."

because in the end, this is not about alexander. this is about fernando and illeana, about two titans clashing in the middle of a hospital room over three little words and feelings.



[newclass=.illeana] text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 12px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana b] color: #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana i] text-decoration: underline dotted #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
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spiral

silph
SIR
twenty-nine
august 12th
saffron
oppressive
silph co. ceo
council member
POWER IS TAKEN, NEVER GIVEN—SO TAKE WHAT YOU ARE OWED
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9,106 posts
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FERNANDO SILPH
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 3:53:09 GMT
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NADIR


DAY 1 // THE FIRST VISITOR



“BECAUSE YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ME!”

if she wants this to be about them. about him. then so be it. for the narrative has been crafted by her words. or therein the lack of.

because illeana does not realize that throughout this ordeal she has never once proven otherwise. he may have yelled at her. may have broken her down. but it is through confessions and pent up frustrations that he reveals more about himself than she has even known.

or cared to ask.

because i lie here, on a fucking death bed, and i am the one be glad that you’re okay. because until today i have bottled this up and took it in stride. quiet and thankless.

the tears have dried and like fine salt crystals, only hurt remains.

because i have done so much for you and you can’t even recognize how i feel about you. through all of this. through all we have been through, you know nothing about me! because you don’t care!


[attr="class","spiralpee"]

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played by

nikki

illie, sap sipper
she/her
27
september 23rd
snowpoint city, sinnoh
bi curious
geneticist, alchemist
head professor
consumed
with what's to transpire.
5’8” height
5’8” height
you caged me and then you called me crazy; i am what i am 'cause you trained me.
awards
4,355 posts
part of
ATTACK
+7
DEFENSE
+4
SPEED
+3
TAG WITH @illeana
illeana reyes
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 4:08:37 GMT
illeana reyes Avatar
[attr="class","illeana"]
[attr="class","illeana b"]
[attr="class","illeana i"]is she the villain in this narrative?

he paints her as one, dressed up to be something she hadn't recognized. and somewhere along the way, she does find truth in his words.

blinded by her emotions, by betrayal and hurt, she had not once asked him about himself today. he's missing an eye and she didn't say a thing about it.

somehow, that little fact speaks more of her than of him.

does it mean she no longer cares about him? no... it means she's more selfish than ever before. gone are the days where she places others before herself.

she doesn't touch upon her wrongdoings, adding guilt to the list of emotions rising in her body. nothing she says can change what she's already done, or not done.

and so she scowls, crossing her arms over her chest in a defensive manner. the brace on her wrist glints in the overhead lights.

"then why do you feel anything for me? and why are you telling me now?"

why not before? why on his goddamn death bed?

she can't shake the nagging feeling that maybe it could have been different if he didn't bottle it up. it makes no difference now, though... the rift is growing wider with each angry word.



[newclass=.illeana] text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 12px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana b] color: #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana i] text-decoration: underline dotted #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
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played by

spiral

silph
SIR
twenty-nine
august 12th
saffron
oppressive
silph co. ceo
council member
POWER IS TAKEN, NEVER GIVEN—SO TAKE WHAT YOU ARE OWED
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9,106 posts
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FERNANDO SILPH
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 4:21:55 GMT
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NADIR


DAY 1 // THE FIRST VISITOR



“BECAUSE I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO!”

the same thing she had told him about her missing. the same reason she came in here irritable rather than compassionate.

fernando’s voice lowers and he mutters something to himself.

because i don’t know how,” goes unlisted. intentionally low, audible, but meek enough to look like he’s hiding it.

that line enough is what differs the two in their approach.

it shouldn’t take me saying it for you to recognize that.

the same fernando that had taught her better comes to her again. the words hold the same weight but the visage is weaker. crippled. imperfect.

actions, not words—

vulnerable.

—should be enough for you to that i loved you.


[attr="class","spiralpee"]

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played by

nikki

illie, sap sipper
she/her
27
september 23rd
snowpoint city, sinnoh
bi curious
geneticist, alchemist
head professor
consumed
with what's to transpire.
5’8” height
5’8” height
you caged me and then you called me crazy; i am what i am 'cause you trained me.
awards
4,355 posts
part of
ATTACK
+7
DEFENSE
+4
SPEED
+3
TAG WITH @illeana
illeana reyes
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 4:34:01 GMT
illeana reyes Avatar
[attr="class","illeana"]
[attr="class","illeana b"]
[attr="class","illeana i"]peeling back layers is how she finds what she didn't understand.

it's clearer now, even with the barely audible admittance. for all fernando knows, for all he has... he doesn't know how to navigate this.

"you should have to."

it's soft but firm, as if a mother teaching a child to adjust their behavior.

"it's always been hot and cold with you, fernando."

sometimes personal, mostly business.

and how is she supposed to know any different?

actions only go so far when they're infrequent, driven by need and not affection.

"how am i supposed to know how you feel when it's not consistent? when you go days or weeks without seeing me?"

and the final piece of the puzzle comes in a soft admission to herself, stubbornly refusing to give it breath.

she had been too afraid to ask. the fear of rejection held her back and now, it hurts him.



[newclass=.illeana] text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 12px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana b] color: #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana i] text-decoration: underline dotted #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
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played by

spiral

silph
SIR
twenty-nine
august 12th
saffron
oppressive
silph co. ceo
council member
POWER IS TAKEN, NEVER GIVEN—SO TAKE WHAT YOU ARE OWED
awards
9,106 posts
part of
TAG WITH @silph
FERNANDO SILPH
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 4:45:43 GMT
FERNANDO SILPH Avatar

NADIR


DAY 1 // THE FIRST VISITOR



“I AM CONSISTENT,” is the one truth he will die upon.

just because i don’t fit yours or society’s perfectly cut out mold doesn’t mean i don’t feel or care.

she should already know the answer on why she doesn’t see him. why he disappears for days or weeks at a time. it’s what cuts him off from others. from forming a real relationship.

it’s why he and alexander will always differ.

i don’t have the luxury you have. i don’t have the freedom to always be in the lives of those i care about. i have to make due with what little time i get. and if you knew me, then you would know that what little time i have i treasure.

the implication goes unsaid: the fact i spend it with you show how much i treasure you.


[attr="class","spiralpee"]

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played by

nikki

illie, sap sipper
she/her
27
september 23rd
snowpoint city, sinnoh
bi curious
geneticist, alchemist
head professor
consumed
with what's to transpire.
5’8” height
5’8” height
you caged me and then you called me crazy; i am what i am 'cause you trained me.
awards
4,355 posts
part of
ATTACK
+7
DEFENSE
+4
SPEED
+3
TAG WITH @illeana
illeana reyes
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 5:06:45 GMT
illeana reyes Avatar
[attr="class","illeana"]
[attr="class","illeana b"]
[attr="class","illeana i"]"i needed more, though."

she needed consistency, affection, love. and whether it is timing or fate or otherwise... she has found it elsewhere.

"even just a call would have been enough."

she doesn't ask for much of him. somehow, it still falls short of her expectations.

and when he speaks of his time, of his energy, she wants to pry into it without hesitation. now that the gates have been opened, she won't stop until she knows everything.

"i thought i knew you but i'm starting to think i don't."

not as well as she thought, anyway.

"why not someone else?"



[newclass=.illeana] text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 12px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana b] color: #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana i] text-decoration: underline dotted #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
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played by

spiral

silph
SIR
twenty-nine
august 12th
saffron
oppressive
silph co. ceo
council member
POWER IS TAKEN, NEVER GIVEN—SO TAKE WHAT YOU ARE OWED
awards
9,106 posts
part of
TAG WITH @silph
FERNANDO SILPH
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 5:37:15 GMT
FERNANDO SILPH Avatar

NADIR


DAY 1 // THE FIRST VISITOR



“I’M NOT PERFECT,” seems to be the highlight of today’s discussion. it’s also the crux of his argument against the unreasonable expectations she has of him.

if you needed a call then why didn’t you call me. i was happy with what we were. what we had.

a relationship works both ways. out of the many he’s had, at least the formation of them, he understands that much. it’s why is able to worm him into late night conversation that illeana could only wish she could partake in.

because no one was as bright as you. no one else had such hope in their eyes with an unbridled ambition of helping others. you were scared, timid, but you could look past that. you could grow.

his nostrils flare and he exhales.

and you did. you were mesmerizing to me.


[attr="class","spiralpee"]

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played by

nikki

illie, sap sipper
she/her
27
september 23rd
snowpoint city, sinnoh
bi curious
geneticist, alchemist
head professor
consumed
with what's to transpire.
5’8” height
5’8” height
you caged me and then you called me crazy; i am what i am 'cause you trained me.
awards
4,355 posts
part of
ATTACK
+7
DEFENSE
+4
SPEED
+3
TAG WITH @illeana
illeana reyes
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 5:52:17 GMT
illeana reyes Avatar
[attr="class","illeana"]
[attr="class","illeana b"]
[attr="class","illeana i"]she's quiet for a moment. processing, analyzing, drawing up results.

and no matter which way she turns it, she doesn't find what she's looking for. not from him, not from what this is.

perhaps, in some way, that's why she didn't call. why she didn't ask. why she looked elsewhere just as he did.

"you were?"

somehow, it surprises her to hear he was happy.

she always thought she had to work so hard for his praise, his affection. and it's a shellshock to realize she didn't have to bend over backwards... that it had been hers.

too late.

she heaves out a sigh, emotional exhaustion beginning to weigh her down.

"and now?"

she's changed from then, just as he has. there's no more hope in her.

only ambition remains and it's proving deadly.

"with everything i've done? with everything i will do?" with the bodies left in lilycove at her own hands? with the remaining ones still to come?

his love is misplaced on her. it's wasted.



[newclass=.illeana] text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 12px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana b] color: #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana i] text-decoration: underline dotted #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
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played by

spiral

silph
SIR
twenty-nine
august 12th
saffron
oppressive
silph co. ceo
council member
POWER IS TAKEN, NEVER GIVEN—SO TAKE WHAT YOU ARE OWED
awards
9,106 posts
part of
TAG WITH @silph
FERNANDO SILPH
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 6:19:00 GMT
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NADIR


DAY 1 // THE FIRST VISITOR



FERNANDO IS NOT AS AWARE OF HER CHANGE. this is one instance. an outburst, surely, but not something that cannot be reversed. everyone has their breaking point. illeana is entitled to hers as well.

what've done?

he doesn't know.


[attr="class","spiralpee"]

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played by

nikki

illie, sap sipper
she/her
27
september 23rd
snowpoint city, sinnoh
bi curious
geneticist, alchemist
head professor
consumed
with what's to transpire.
5’8” height
5’8” height
you caged me and then you called me crazy; i am what i am 'cause you trained me.
awards
4,355 posts
part of
ATTACK
+7
DEFENSE
+4
SPEED
+3
TAG WITH @illeana
illeana reyes
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 6:25:36 GMT
illeana reyes Avatar
[attr="class","illeana"]
[attr="class","illeana b"]
[attr="class","illeana i"]there's no point in hiding it. he'll know soon enough...

"i recklessly opened a rift in lilycove while on a mission."

she misused league resources for her own personal gain.

and the result?

casualties.

"i killed the sea hoenn soldiers that came through."

there was no ounce of mercy in her body. had to stop her, had to snap her out of the dazed state it left her in.

and after it all? she does not feel remorse.

"is that worthy of this?"



[newclass=.illeana] text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 12px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana b] color: #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana i] text-decoration: underline dotted #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
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played by

spiral

silph
SIR
twenty-nine
august 12th
saffron
oppressive
silph co. ceo
council member
POWER IS TAKEN, NEVER GIVEN—SO TAKE WHAT YOU ARE OWED
awards
9,106 posts
part of
TAG WITH @silph
FERNANDO SILPH
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 6:30:17 GMT
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NADIR


DAY 1 // THE FIRST VISITOR



“WHAT DO YOU MEAN OPENED A RIFT?”

the question is rhetorical. he knows how they open. that much has become abundantly clear between sootopolis, the lighthouse, mount chimney, and every other incident that’s revolved around PRIMAL QUARTZ.

the outrage in his voice isn’t because of the sea!hoenn soldiers. he could care less about alien invaders. killing them is what any other league representative would have done.

it’s about her sabotaging the only answer hoenn has to the meteor that’s on the way.


[attr="class","spiralpee"]

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played by

nikki

illie, sap sipper
she/her
27
september 23rd
snowpoint city, sinnoh
bi curious
geneticist, alchemist
head professor
consumed
with what's to transpire.
5’8” height
5’8” height
you caged me and then you called me crazy; i am what i am 'cause you trained me.
awards
4,355 posts
part of
ATTACK
+7
DEFENSE
+4
SPEED
+3
TAG WITH @illeana
illeana reyes
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 18:00:15 GMT
illeana reyes Avatar
[attr="class","illeana"]
[attr="class","illeana b"]
[attr="class","illeana i"]even without the outrage lingering in the syllables of words... she would still begin pacing.

it starts slow, as if trying to move to release pent up energy.

and then, it picks up to a frantic pace. back and forth, back and forth... just like her current thoughts.

as she paces, she talks quickly, half to herself and half to him. it's an element of her unraveling, of her breaking.

"i miscalculated on what would happen."

she stills then resumes.

"it should have led to palkia, to the dimension it controls."

her eyes look dazed, muted, gone.

"the god of space could help. the god of space could solve everything. we wouldn't need the crystals to divert if we had palkia, right?"

it's unhinged thinking, her plan... driven by a dangerous ambition and left to breed consequences.

"it's here. i know it is. i just have to find it."

the scar on her back moves with her but it looks off. it looks alive beneath fluorescent lights. a centipede of paranoia slowly poisoning her into madness.



[newclass=.illeana] text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 12px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana b] color: #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana i] text-decoration: underline dotted #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
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played by

spiral

silph
SIR
twenty-nine
august 12th
saffron
oppressive
silph co. ceo
council member
POWER IS TAKEN, NEVER GIVEN—SO TAKE WHAT YOU ARE OWED
awards
9,106 posts
part of
TAG WITH @silph
FERNANDO SILPH
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 23, 2022 18:19:53 GMT
FERNANDO SILPH Avatar

NADIR


DAY 1 // THE FIRST VISITOR



“AND WHY WOULD IT DO THAT?”

he’s flabbergasted. upset beyond any trivialities of feelings or emotional response. this goes to pure instinct. to survival.

that’s not how that works, reyes! that’s not how any of this works.

it becomes severe enough that he grabs the closest thing next to him in a fit of rage. his hospital pillow scrunches underneath his renewed strength. exasperated, he flings it at her, harmless feathers that hurt more with intent than action.

you’re the goddamn head scientist! you should know this!


[attr="class","spiralpee"]

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played by

nikki

illie, sap sipper
she/her
27
september 23rd
snowpoint city, sinnoh
bi curious
geneticist, alchemist
head professor
consumed
with what's to transpire.
5’8” height
5’8” height
you caged me and then you called me crazy; i am what i am 'cause you trained me.
awards
4,355 posts
part of
ATTACK
+7
DEFENSE
+4
SPEED
+3
TAG WITH @illeana
illeana reyes
NADIR
POSTED ON Jul 23, 2022 18:32:51 GMT
illeana reyes Avatar
[attr="class","illeana"]
[attr="class","illeana b"]
[attr="class","illeana i"]he pokes holes into her mind. once reasonable thoughts become doubtful, shaky, broken.

she had thought palkia would be a solution, an answer, a savior.

she had been wrong.

the pillow connects with her chest, harmless yet painful all the same. and when her head turns back to him, there's a look of hurt.

"it could have been!"

if she was successful. if she was stronger. if she had come up with a better plan...

everything she has convinced herself of is crumbling. she hears the tremors, sees the dust beginning to scatter. and if she isn't careful, she'll be crushed beneath the weight of her foundation.

"there has to be another way."

except, that concept is rooted in her own ambition, her own greed.

she doesn't care about sea hoenn. she feels no remorse for their people being doomed to death by meteor. a moral compass doesn't drive her... power does.

and that very power could cost everything.

she's quiet, then, and there's a fidget to her that speaks of distress, of a breaking mind.



[newclass=.illeana] text-align: justify; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 12px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana b] color: #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
[newclass=.illeana i] text-decoration: underline dotted #E37474; font-size: 13px; [/newclass]
img
The Shula Region
Hogwarts AU
RPG Unlimited
MR
The Enroi Region
N:FB
Vyrehaven
Celestial Guardians, AU Sailor Moon RP
EO GENESIS
Code and Crown: An advanced literate warriors cats RP, set in medieval times
Swords Clashing