You're tired. Frankly, it's just been a very tiring day. You knew you were never a very good Pokemon trainer, but you didn't expect all the other trainers to be so much better than you were. Really seems like you just can't get a single win over anyone. Are you really just that bad? No, no, that can't be it. It's everyone else whose wrong. All these bastards with their Tyranitars and their Salamences, who do they think they are? They probably think themselves noble, but really, they're just scum. You, though? You're the real noble one. You're a proper noble type. The Queen of Galar would surely knight you if she knew how noble you were.

Still, doesn't change anything, does it? You, of all people, know how little nobility means. The unfortunate truth of the matter is, if you want to start winning fights, you'll need better Pokemon. Toxtricity and Doublade and Forretress are all well and good, but they can't go toe-to-toe with the real heavy hitters. If only you had a real brawny sort who could fill that sort of role...

Oh well. No point worrying about it. After all, it's not like you can just nip out of here and catch a new Pokemon to fill the gap in your ranks. So, you may as well just grin and bear it, and work on correcting that little flaw in your team later.

For now, you need to rendezvouz with your contact. You've been lost for so long, they finally sent someone to clue you in. In fact, they're here right now, waving that flashlight around in the darkness. You're guessing that they're looking for you, so it'd probably be a good idea to step out of the darkness, right? Seems like your monologuing time is up for now. Keep all this in the back of your mind so you can scribble it into your autobiography later. For now, it's time for business.

"It's a sick name, is what it is."

Finally, you make your dramatic entrance. You flick your lighter on-- No, hang on, try again, okay, no, just keep hitting the wheel, no, try again, hm... Still no spark, huh? Is it really out of lighter fluid? Fuck. Well, there goes the dramatic entrance, so it's time for plan B. You stride out from the gloom and into the light, unlit cigarette in your mouth, your entire body practically radiating disappointment. This is the kid you're supposed to meet? Yeah, matches the description you got over the radio. The feed was a little crackly and warbly, and it did cut out a bit, but you're sure you've got the most of it.

"Besides, you're one to talk. What kind of name is Mr Bara Joe Jeeves? Sounds like the name someone gives their Mr Mime. That's gotta be bad for your soul, innit? If I were you, mate, I'd get that shit changed ASAP."

---

Kouji Matsubara

"Tch. Cunt. You're a mouthy sort, aren't you?"

It's harsh words spoken with none of the gravity one would expect. Indeed, it didn't sound like an insult, but it wasn't quite affectionate either. It was more like an observation, the same tone one would take when commenting on the weather, stated as though it were a matter of fact. Then again, takes one to know one, right? And you can certainly claim to knowing one when you see one.

Frankly, you're about ready to head out, but it seems the pipsqueak has other ideas. You're not certain, but he seems like he's on edge. You've heard chit-chat that this place messes with your head, that lingering too long can warp your view of the world. Make you see things that aren't there, hear things that don't exist, and so on. Funnily enough, you haven't really felt anything like that. It's been "smooth sailing" for as long as you've been in this other dimension, save for all the times you've gotten your ass kicked. Or, maybe you have been experiencing the effects, and you're just already in too deep to notice it? Or, maybe one too many late night with bad company made you resistant to whatever bad trip everyone else got? Whatever. Makes no difference to you. You just want to leave.

"Sorry, twerp, but whatever you're looking for, you won't find it here." You begin to explain, marching straight into the shadows without a care. As though to prove your point, you pull your lighter out of your pocket, clicking it on to illuminate the gloom. "I've been here for the last ten, fifteen, however many minutes, and I haven't seen anything or met anyone. There's nothing--"

CRUNCH!

"--NGH!"

Your words get stuck in your throat and the breath is stolen from your lungs as you're hit hard in the stomach. Or, maybe your chest? You can't tell if you're dealing with broken ribs or a bruised belly, because your entire torso hurts all the same. Was there actually something in here with you the whole time? Sitting in the pitch black, even as you waited in the room with it? You can't tell. All you catch is a fuzzy blur in the corner of your eye before your lighter hits the ground and plunges the cave into dark once more.

---

Kouji Matsubara

You don't really see much of what's going on, given the fact that you're preoccupied with being slumped. Writhing in pain and trying not to scream is a full commitment, and you don't have much energy left to dedicate to anything else. That probably explains why your vision is blurring and why your ears are ringing. Your body's priorities are rapidly shifting, and your senses are getting shuffled down low on the totem pole of your disgusting biology.

Still, as you're squirming like a worm on a hook, you do manage to catch the sight of your accomplice suffering a similar smackdown as you. It's frankly astounding how quickly your opponent dropped the both of you. It was really a masterclass in brute force, an exemplary display of the simplicity of hitting things hard. It's enough to bring a tear to your eye.

That's certainly the only reason you're crying right now.

Luckily, Kouji's Absol makes its presence known, illuminating the darkness as it does so. Straining your eyes, you're finally able to glimpse the perpetrator of your gut shot - A giant bug. At least, you think it's a bug? It looks fairly bug-like, what with the wings and such, but it's all so fuzzy that you can't be sure. After all, bugs are usually shit like Butterfree and Beautifly, right? Could an insect really hit that hard?

You'll find out soon enough. The insect is quick to react to the flash of light, its wide eyes immediately narrowing in on the source and lurching towards it. Soon enough, the Disaster Pokemon is faced down with an ill omen of its own, one moving a breakneck speed and aiming a punch straight at its dome.

---

Kouji Matsubara

This is going terribly, isn't it? You're splayed out on the floor, your partner is splayed out on the floor, and your partner's Absol is splayed out on the floor. If this is a brawl, then all three of you are losing to this bug. Seriously, just what is this thing? It's an absolute powerhouse, and it looks like nothing you've ever seen before.

As its attention turns back to you, a lightbulb goes off in your head. This thing has to be a Pokemon, right? Even if you can't recognise it, the odds are better than not that it is one. And, judging by its behaviour, it has to be a wild one. No domesticated Pokemon would ever act like this, and even if it did, it especially wouldn't be left on its own. The odds are better than not that this is a wild Pokemon. So, that means that there's one surefire way to get out of this mess...

...Okay, well, it's far from surefire. In fact, it's probably better to call it a longshot. Still, it's all you've got.

So, as the insect charges towards you, you unhook an empty Pokeball from your belt, and proceed to fling it directly into its face. The meaty thud of impact echoes throughout the cave, before the bug is consumed by a red glow and disappears into the Pokeball.

As it tumbles down to the ground, rocking and shifting and struggling, all you can do is pray that it holds.

---

Kouji Matsubara

CLICK!

That sound is what finishes Kouji's sentence. It's a confirmation that yes, in fact, you did. Honestly, you can't really believe it yourself. Not at first, anyway. For a tense moment, you're certain that your mind had given in to the paranoia of this place, and you're hallucinating everything that just happened. You feel a creeping dread deep in your chest, as though at any moment, this reality might be torn away, and you'll find yourself back where you were: On the wrong end of a beating.

But after a moment, that feeling passes. No, this very much is the present moment, realer than it is fake. That Pokeball, and the Pokemon within it, are as real as your fractures and your bruises. You just... You just don't know, do you? You just really don't know. What the hell did you just capture, and why was it so strong? It was stronger than your Toxtricity, stronger than the punk's Absol...

...Stronger than that bastard's Tyranitar? Or that copper's Lycanroc?

"Well, well... Looks like we've got some debts to collect, don't we, comrade?"

Grunting and heaving, you manage to scramble over to the Pokeball, practically dragging yourself along the ground. However, all the pain and suffering is made worth it as you hold it in your hand. This is the secret weapon you needed. This is an apex predator. Everything before now was just the prologue, the warm-up, the opening act. Now that you have this?

The story of Shred Zeppelin is about to kick into overdrive.

"...Now, let's get the fuck out of here, yeah? I don't know about you, but I've got about ten minutes before the adrenaline wears off, and I sure as shit don't want to be sober when that happens."

---

Kouji Matsubara

THREAD MP TOTAL:
10 x 5 MP = 50FP for IC Posts.
10 MP for Paranoia.
100 MP for completing a mission.
50 MP for participation in a mission.
200 MP for "winning" the mission.
Total - 410 MP