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light wave, fulfill my wish

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[attr="class","freiwanttmid"]CHARACTER FACTION league

[attr="class","freiwanttmid"]CHARACTER RANK civilian

[attr="class","freiwanttmid"]FACE CLAIMChelsea from Path To Nowhere

[attr="class","freiwantttop"]ABOUT THE CHARACTER

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-x- DIARY ENTRY ♡ JUNE 29TH[break]
TW: murder, opioids, depression[break][break]

♡ "Writing in my diary on the plane feels rather invasive in regards to the wandering eyes, especially due to the people on the other rows peering through the cracks of their seats trying not to get me to notice, but I can't blame them one bit. I would be staring too if I was on a plane with me, especially with those articles that were posted about me this past month- I can't help but cry every time I see another pop up, even if my pr team helped me cover every last bit of evidence. An idol's crazed father flinging himself off the balcony of his family's penthouse in Lumiose after the attempted murder of his ex wife and orphaned children- I'm sure people know that there is more to the story. I have to keep telling myself it was self defense what I did, because that's what it was. Thankfully, all the tattoos I got following the incident at the beginning of June are finally healed; all of the scars he gave me are covered up by beautiful art of my mother's botanical gardens. Though, every time I look at the roses, I can't help but envision the petals being painted with his blood.[break][break]

I had my last meeting with my therapist back home in Lumiose yesterday, just before I finished packing all of my belongings. I couldn't bring myself to tell her the missing part of the story, it would have been too hard and would have most definitely caused me to relapse. She was supportive of me moving to Hoenn to have a change of scenery, and thank god there was a vacancy in one of Fortree's gorgeous treehouses. I hope that the change of scenery will let me get off these damn antidepressants. But for now, masking will do the trick. I want to leave it all behind in Kalos, even if it will be hard. My mom and three sisters told me they would look into moving with me when they get the chance. Sure, it's going to suck having to rebuild my fanbase and success that I had with my music over there- there will be overseas fans here I'm sure, but fuck. If anyone asks about what happened, I will refuse to comment. Play the blissfully ignorant game; my father jumped off after he tried to kill us all, I was terrified for my life and the lives of those dearest to me. I didn't give him the final push. I didn't throw him off.[break][break]

If I was honest with what I did, I'm sure people would feel for me. Stalked by a drugged out sociopath that just so happened to be my father, using the last bit of blood that wasn't pouring out of my body to fling him off the balcony after his attempt on my life. But that is nothing but a mess- people adored just how innocent and kind I was portrayed to be in the media before this, and they still do; they view me as the victim that I am. But I don't see myself as anything but a murderer, and I cannot stop hearing his screams in my mind before they met the concrete. I hope more than anything they can be drowned out by the rustling leaves of the treehouse city I will soon be calling my new home. My therapist said it could take years to finish mourning, but repressing those feelings? Who knows what Hoenn has in store for me, but hopefully, this one way ticket will allow me to finally feel something other than dread."